A Heart Reborn

by BK Harrell

  Jeremiah laughed and thought about how lucky he was to be on Dr. Buckley’s service. She was helping him to learn and practice his craft in a manner that was not too judgmental. “Thank you for allowing me to perform the delivery.”

  “You’ve earned it. You can’t spend all your time writing discharge orders and checking on floor patients. Unfortunately, we can’t spend too much time chatting away since we have an induction scheduled at one-thirty and a C-section scheduled at two. Hopefully the induction will progress normally, but only time will tell. I want you to scrub in with Dr. Jones for the C-section. I’ll be there to observe so don’t worry. Just head back to the doctor’s lounge and make sure you’re ready for the procedure. Also, make sure you check her pre-op labs, introduce yourself to the patient and get some lunch. Always remember to eat when you can. Meet me at the nurses’ station at one-fifteen and we will start the induction before the C-section.”

  “That sounds great. Thank you for your teaching and understanding, and about the other, I’ll think about it. I’d like to ask her out, but honestly I’ve only ever been with one person and I was not the smoothest in asking her out to start with.”

  Sarah walked down the hall taking her own advice as she headed to the doctor’s dining room for some lunch. As she dug into her lunch, her phone pinged with a text message. She was happy to see a message from Harrison, but was surprised to see an image pop-up which was a shirtless picture of him hitting baseballs. Wow that man had filled out nicely. He was always nice to look at and touch when they were dating but that extra time in the weight room has added some nice muscle.

  S:Nice. Glad you have to wear a shirt when you play though otherwise it would be too distracting to the females in attendance.

  H:Thought you might like to see me at work. I mean I wouldn’t complain about a topless picture of you working, but I’m sure they frown upon that in the hospital.

  S:You have no idea. ;)

  Sarah sat there for a second and decided what the hell. She grabbed her phone and took a selfie, before sending it to Harrison.

  S: Like what you see Coop? The official doctor coat is sexy. Unfortunately, the scrubs aren’t as flattering as they are on TV.

  H:I like. I think I’ll make this my new screen-saver.

  Sarah chuckled. She had been a lot of things but outside of her mother, she didn’t think she had been anyone’s screen-saver before.

  S: Desperate much?

  H:It would seem only for you. How is your day going?

  S:Busier than I hoped it would be, but it makes the time pass quicker. Do you do anything besides work-out all day long?”

  H:I have a visit to Scottish Rite this afternoon to visit with the kids. Rhett and I go about once a week. We keep it low key because we don’t do it for the media attention.

  Sarah felt her heart melt a little more thinking of Harrison giving his time so freely to the children. She was saddened to think how angry he would be knowing he had missed out on ten years of his child’s life. Ten years he could never get back. She fought back the tears forming in her eyes and decided she couldn’t keep talking anymore. This was starting to rip her apart even more.

  S: Have fun. I’m sure they will enjoy your visit. I have a patient and a resident waiting for me. Talk to you soon.

  H: Hope the rest of your day goes well. Bye

  Sarah, sat there staring at her phone and didn’t hear Cole sit down beside her.

  “So, this is going to be harder than you ever thought.”

  Sarah jumped at his words startled back to reality. She wiped away the tears that had escaped. “How did you know I was talking to him?”

  “You had this dreamy look on your face like a young woman in love. Then it changed to utter sadness and devastation. I don’t know what he said, but it sure seemed to kill the mood.”

  “He said he was going to Scottish Rite to visit the kids today with his best friend, and they keep it low key so the media doesn’t know that they’re there. It made me think about how angry he was going to be about Harry and how much time he had lost.”

  “Then maybe it’s time to rip the band-aid off so to speak and tell him.”

  “I can’t yet. I still have so many questions that need to be answered, and I need time to prepare Harry. Hopefully, when we meet for our sit-down after the New Year I’ll have a better picture of what to do.”

  “No matter what, just remember, we’re here for you.”

  “Thanks. Gotta run though, I have an induction and a C-section waiting for me. By the way, I heard about what you did for Elisha and Jeremiah. I think you are a wonderful person. I encouraged him today to take the leap and ask her out. I don’t know what’ll happen, but hopefully he’ll take that next step.”

  “They’re both good people, as are you Sarah. Don’t beat yourself up over what happened ten years ago. I know better than anyone you can’t change the past.”

  “Thanks, Cole. See you later.” Sarah got up and left the dining room making a beeline for the restroom to try and wash away the evidence of her near breakdown from her face. Gathering her emotions, she left the restroom and headed back to the delivery suites. Sarah needed to get control of herself, not only because she needed to be on top of her game for the patients, but because she had to remain strong. She knew with each passing day that she had made a horrible mistake, and every conversation she had with Coop just reinforced those feelings. Surely in the years she had cyberstalked him she would have read about a wife or a child, because he wasn’t the type of guy that would abandon his family. Finally reaching the doors to the delivery suites, Sarah pasted a smile on her face so the rest of the world would not know her torment.

  Sarah walked up to Jeremiah, who was studying his induction notes, and led him to the patient’s room. Thankfully, she was able to find her professional voice and discuss the procedure with him. Even though she had to do the procedure she wanted Jeremiah to walk the patient through it. After the introductions, she stood back and admired the way that Jeremiah interacted with the patient and her family. He was able to succinctly explain the procedure in a manner that the patient was able to understand. Sarah smiled a genuine smile as she watched her young resident excel.

  “Great job, Jeremiah. Anybody have any question? No. Well then let’s get started.”

  Sarah watched as the nurses started the IV and then she hung the induction meds. She hoped that this would not be a long labor for this thirty-year-old mother of two. Her exam showed she was already four centimeters dilated. After ensuring the monitors were in place and the nurses were briefed on the procedure she took Jeremiah to the OR to get ready for the C-section.

  “Okay, Jeremiah, you will be on the left side of the table and assisting Dr. Jones. He’s very good at this, so just follow his lead. If there’s an emergency I’ll take your place. So, if I tell you to move, then move. No questions asked.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  Sarah laughed. “Please don’t call me ma’am. What is the correct incision for this procedure?”

  “Lateral Pfannenstiel.”

  “What is your main retractor and what is its purpose?”

  “Bladder blade. To protect the bladder from an accidental incision when opening the uterus.”

  “What closure will you use?”

  “Subcuticular with a three-oh prolene.”

  “Great. You are ready to go. Go scrub in and talk to Dr. Jones for a few minutes. I’ll be right behind you.” Sarah stood in the scrub room for a few minutes watching her team interact. Sarah watched as Elisha moved around the room making sure everything was ready, but still occasionally stealing glances at Jeremiah. She thought it was so cute how she flirted with her eyes when she thought no one was watching. It even seemed Jeremiah was playing along and she could tell he was smiling beneath his surgical mask. Sarah walked into the OR and reminded herself to have a talk with Dr. Jones about selection of music since the patients were awake during this procedure. Somehow, she wasn’t sure that Mrs. A
dams was going to appreciate bringing her baby girl into the world while listening to Def Leppard. Everything went well and Sarah was impressed with the wound closure by Jeremiah. Sarah walked out of the OR pleased with the performance of her residents.

  As Sarah, walked down the hall, she noted the smiles that Dr. Jones and Jeremiah sported. If nothing else, she wanted to make sure they had a good foundation in not only technical skills, but patient care skills as well. Sarah was pre-occupied with her thoughts and missed her phone pinging her. When she reached the nurses’ station she pulled it out and noticed a new text from Coop.

  H: Dinner?

  Sarah’s heartbeat kicked up a few notches. She just wasn’t ready to face him yet. Although dinner could be quick and she could arrange to have other people around, nope couldn’t do that. Maybe…there just didn’t seem to be a good way around this. Sarah knew she was going to be hungry later and the thought of more hospital food wasn’t exactly tickling her appetite. Then it hit her. She could have Coop bring dinner for her residents and students as well. They could meet him and they could have a little time to talk.

  S:7:30 but you have to bring Maggiano’s for everyone including the nurses and residents.

  That she thought, should put an end to it.

  H: How many.

  Shit that didn’t work out as she thought it would.

  S:20 people.

  There. That should do it.

  H: Where should I meet you.

  S:2nd floor doctor’s lounge. Beware, you will definitely attract attention here. BTW, how was your visit with the kids?

  H:Invigorating. That’s okay. I’ll sign a few autographs and take a few selfies, but I get to eat with you.

  S:Fine.

  H:Fine. See you at 7:30.

  Shaking her head, Sarah finally gave up. She was going to have dinner with Coop and the rest of the staff. At least there would be a buffer and no ability to have a quaint heart-to-heart discussion. Sarah told the nurses and residents about her surprise for them and they lit up like a Christmas tree.

  Thankfully, the afternoon went more smoothly, and they didn’t have any more unexpected deliveries. The induction progressed nicely. It seemed the only thing she needed was a kick start into labor, and by six-fifteen she had delivered healthy baby number four. Much to the chagrin of the proud father, it was another little girl they named Emma Grace. Even though Sarah’s mind had been on observing the delivery, her heart continued beating out of her chest waiting for Coop to arrive.

  Having finished her paperwork, Sarah made her evening rounds and was walking out of her last patient’s room when Elisha came running up to her.

  “Oh my God, Sarah. He’s here.” Elisha said.

  “I know. I couldn’t fight seeing him anymore, and he promised Italian for everyone.” Sarah said.

  “I’m here all night if you need someone to talk to afterwards.”

  “Thanks. Time to face the music.”

  Sarah walked around the corner to find a very fine-looking Harrison Cooper standing there smiling and taking selfies with the nurses and residents. She smiled as she looked at him. He looked relaxed and comfortable interacting with everyone. That was the Coop she remembered. She continued to stand there and eye him from head to toe. So, lost in her thoughts, she failed to see Coop walk towards her with his hands raised.

  As he got closer, he whispered, “Truce, Sarah. No slapping this time.”

  Sarah smiled as she registered the words. Unable to control her response she said, “Not unless you ask me to.” Sarah slapped her hand over her mouth not knowing where that came from. She watched a huge smile blossom on Coop’s face. Crap, where did that come from. Sarah walked over and allowed Coop to hug her and at that moment everything in the world felt right. She remembered exactly how perfectly they fit together.

  Harrison was surprised that Sarah came to him like she did, but when his arms went around her, he felt at peace. Like he had finally come home. He knew he couldn’t get too caught up in the moment because they still had a lot to work out. She still smelled of lavender and mint and the scent tickled his nose and started a flood of memories coming back. As not to get too attached, he stepped back and said, “Your dinner as ordered Madame. I hope everyone enjoys their food. They loved me when I called and ordered everything on the menu since I didn’t know what everyone wanted.” Harrison leaned in to Sarah and whispered, “But you sweet Sarah, I remembered to order the chicken parmesan.”

  Sarah almost melted into a puddle at the thought of him remembering her favorite Italian dish after all these years. She smiled at Coop and wanted to reach out and touch him, but it was too soon for anything more than a light touch on the arm or shoulder, although as she stood their looking at him, she wanted to climb him like a tree. Sarah had tried to turn off those feelings since she got in trouble and hadn’t found anyone that even tickled her fancy. However, Coop tickled every single fancy, and made her girly parts want to wake from their long dormant state. Resisting as best she could, Sarah finally put her hand on Coop’s arm and led him to the doctor’s lounge so they could get a quiet table and eat.

  Coop sat across from Sarah as they ate and decided that Sarah had gotten even more beautiful than she was when they dated. Her narrow hips had gently curved out and her breasts were fuller. He longed to touch her and find out if she was still sensitive in all the same spots. In order to stop himself from doing something stupidly inappropriate, Coop started shoveling food into his mouth savoring each bite. Unfortunately, Sarah was doing the same, but she was making the cutest little moaning noises as she relished each bite. This only served to make Coop harder than steel and definitely not able to get up and move. He continued to eat and think of everything and anything that would solves his problem, but the more she ate the worse it got for him.

  “So, did you want to just eat or get to know each other again? I’m good either way.” Sarah said in between bites. “By the way, thanks this food is phenomenal.”

  Coop peered into Sarah’s chocolate brown eyes and suddenly her words were lost on him. “Wha…what? I’m sorry. To be honest with you, I was lost in your beautiful eyes. Oh, yeah. Definitely get to know each other again. So how was medical school?”

  “Toughest thing I ever did.” Except walking away from you. “It seemed like four years of no sleeping and constant studying. I think I lost twenty pounds in four years.”

  “You must have been skin and bones. You never had any extra weight to lose. I have to say though you look quite fetching these days especially in those pink scrubs.”

  Sarah blushed. “Well, they definitely look better on me than the guys. How about you, is baseball all it was cracked up to be?”

  “Yes and no. I mean I still love playing the game, but the travel, the games every day, and even the offseason training have started to drag on. It is nice knowing now that I’ll finish my career here. I have to tell you though, in all honesty, I didn’t think I was going to make it that first year. You screwed with my head so bad that I couldn’t hit, couldn’t field and well I couldn’t do anything. Somewhere in the middle of the offseason, I was finally able to compartmentalize things and I was able to separate my personal and professional life. After that, it all fell into place and I guess the rest is history. I blew through double A and triple A in a year and finally made it to the majors. In the end, I guess…I guess I’m just tired of being lonely. I don’t go out like I used to with the guys. Hell, I’m almost the old man on the team now. It’s tough being surrounded by these young kids who think a strip club buffet meets all the daily requirements for nutrition.”

  Sarah wanted to laugh, well did laugh, but was horrified that she was the cause of his troubles. If he only knew the troubles she went through that first year. They would pale in comparison to pregnancy, labor and delivery. Her post-partum depression was monumental. There were so many times she wanted to pick up the phone and call Coop and tell him, but the longer it went on the harder it became. This was going to be more di
fficult than she thought. “Well, you still made it pretty quickly. Even though I didn’t have much time, I still tried to watch you when I could. You deserved all the accolades you got. I mean Rookie of the Year and All-Star.”

  It was Coop’s turn to blush listening to Sarah sing his virtues. “Wow, I don’t know what to say. You watched me and I wondered what you were doing every night. What a pair we made.”

  “It’s the past and we need to leave it there for now. How is your family?”

  “They’re good. Mom and dad are wonderful. My brother is married with two little girls and my sister is married with a little boy and she just found out she is pregnant with twins. Everyone is ecstatic with the news, and mom can’t wait for more grandchildren. She keeps pestering me about my turn and all, but that’s not happening anytime soon.”

  “I bet you’re a great uncle though. You probably spoil them rotten and then leave your siblings to deal with the aftermath.”

  Coop smiled, “Yeah, something like that. I remember the first time I got drafted to babysit. Jamie was eighteen months old and Julianna was just three-months-old. I was lost with the whole diaper changing thing. I think more baby powder ended up on the carpet than it did in the diaper. I mean, really what the hell do they feed them for that much poop to come out?”

  Sarah snorted tea out of her nose and was bent over double laughing. “Oh my god. I would’ve given anything to have seen that. It would’ve been a live version of Three Men and a Baby.” She struggled to get herself back under control.

  “I’m glad you find my troubles so amusing, and don’t even get me started on the spitting up thing. I learned very quickly to not wear nice clothes when I babysat. Okay, enough about my embarrassing situations. I want to ask you something, and I don’t know if I’m prepared for the answer, but here goes. Are you dating anybody? I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes when I’m talking to you and sending you batting cage pics.”

  Sarah was a little surprised by the question. She could have lied, but she had done enough of that the last ten years so, in a whisper, she answered truthfully, “No. Honestly, it’s been the furthest thing from my mind - especially this last year. I’ve been so busy with work and then there was this…” Sarah couldn’t believe what she was about to say, but she was saved by her pager going off. “Hold on for a second.” Sarah went over and returned the page. She came back after her call. “Sorry, Coop. I have an emergency and I have to run. I don’t know how long I’ll be so you probably don’t want to wait around. I’ll call you later if you want me to.”