A Heart Reborn

by BK Harrell

“I think Harry will like that a lot. He was bouncing off the walls yesterday.”

  “I got another surprise for him. Lincoln arranged a tour of the spring training complex and time in the batting cage for Harry. I just need to make sure he has his bat and glove.”

  “You’re such a wonderful mother. Harry will definitely be surprised.”

  Sarah walked upstairs to her room and just as she set her suitcase out, she got a text message from Coop.

  H: Good morning beautiful. I hope you had a stress-free night.

  S: Very stress free. I got five hours of uninterrupted sleep.

  H: Wow. Didn’t expect you to answer. Figured you would be in bed asleep.

  S: I could stop texting if it’d make you feel better.

  H: No. No. I’m glad I get to start my day like this. Any plans for the rest of the day?”

  S: I forgot to tell you that we are going to visit some family in Orlando this week. We’re going to go ahead and leave today since I don’t need the day to recover.

  H: I hope you enjoy your vacation. I’ll be sweating away with the youngsters this week. We’re off on Thanksgiving, but that is it. Almost time to come home.

  S: I can’t wait. I miss you like crazy.

  H: I miss you too. Gotta run. Breakfast then practice. Drive safely and let me know when you get there.

  S: I’ll let you know. Have a good day.

  H: You too.

  Sarah smiled as she laid her phone down, and then remembered she needed to call and extend their reservation. Thankfully she didn’t have any trouble adding the additional night. Finished with her suitcase, she went to check on Harry and tell him they were going to leave today. She loved watching the excitement in his eyes and his boyhood enthusiasm.

  “So, I have one more surprise for you. My boss, Dr. Montgomery was nice enough to arrange a tour of the spring training complex and time in the batting cage. So, make sure you pack your bat and glove.”

  Harry threw his arms around Sarah and said, “Best. Mom. EVER!!!”

  Sarah smiled as she checked Harry’s suitcase and then took it downstairs while he grabbed his baseball gear. She hoped he never lost his enthusiasm for life. His laugh and smile were so infectious that everyone around him felt better. Sarah was looking forward to her time with him, but secretly dreaded the drive to Orlando. At least this way, they would be able to hit the ground running tomorrow.

  With the car packed and Harry well ensconced in a movie, they headed down the road for their last family vacation as a threesome. Sarah let her mom drive to begin with so she could take a little nap, but by the time they reached Macon she couldn’t sleep so she finally gave up and decided to keep her mom company.

  Her mom looked over at her and asked, “So, what’s new with Harrison? What did he send for dinner last night?”

  “Confusing, and why do you think he sent dinner?”

  “Because he cares for you, and wants to make sure you eat properly. So, what did he send last night?”

  “Ted’s Montana burger bar. He made sure I had my buffalo burger.”

  “That was sweet of him.”

  Sarah then recounted the rest of the conversation with her mother explaining why she was confused. She explained how she never stopped loving Coop even with the events that supposedly happened. She told her how she felt and why she didn’t feel that she could tell him yet.

  “Sarah, only you know when the time is right. You were correct to tell him how you felt, and that you needed more time. I’ll always be there for you no matter what.”

  “Thanks, mom. Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?”

  “Sure, but I think you already know everything you need to know about s-e-x.”

  “Seriously, mom, is that all you think about? Anyway, why don’t you date or consider getting married. It’s not like I’m a little girl and you need to protect me. I want you to be happy.”

  “Oh, baby girl. I’m very happy. My Tinder account is blowing up these days. I’m getting mine a couple of times a week. I just haven’t met anyone that I felt that connection with and my battery-operated boyfriend just doesn’t quite meet my needs. I think recently you’ve discovered the same thing.”

  Sarah blushed deeply. “Really, mom, Tinder? You don’t even know these men.”

  “What’s to know honey. They’re hot and they think I’m hot. That’s all I need. I promise you if I ever meet the one, then I’ll settle down again.”

  “Fine. One more thing - because we never discuss this. Did you love dad or the sperm donor as I once took to calling him?”

  “That’s complicated, Sarah. I thought I was in love. Like you, I never really had a relationship until I met him. He said all the right things, and I was swept off my feet. He was a good guy, but he was not father material. We argued about kids day and night. He didn’t want us to give up our lifestyle and I was ready for the next step. Then, the condom broke and here you are. I don’t regret anything, because I got you. I’m just sorry you didn’t get a chance to have any brothers or sisters. I think it would have been good for you. So, to answer your question, yes, I thought I was in love, but it was an illusion. You on the other hand have the real thing.”

  “I’m scared, mom. I hold myself back from telling him because I don’t think I could handle it if he threw it back in my face when he finds out about Harry. I also don’t think I’ll ever be able to love anyone but him.”

  “Don’t be scared, just be realistic. You know it’s going to be a rough road. You said you thought you were being selfish with him right now. That’s your right. You two need time to get to know each other again, because a child changes everything. Your dad couldn’t handle the thought of fatherhood, and I’ll give him credit he tried, but he stayed in a state of depression and then he started drinking more, and then the other women. I hated for him to leave, but it was what was best for everyone involved. I’m just sorry you didn’t get to know him.”

  “I have a feeling that Coop will be over-the-moon about Harry, after the initial shock wears off. Dealing with you on the other hand, will be difficult. He’ll resent you for what you did and things between you two will be tense. However, I remember the way he looked at you, and I doubt that’s changed.”

  “It hasn’t. I can see the love and adoration in his eyes, and when we make love it’s explosive and all consuming. I think that I will need you a lot when this all goes down.”

  “You’ll have me. So, I’m hungry and could use a break to stretch my legs. How about we find a Cracker Barrel and get some lunch.”

  “Sounds great. I’ll drive after we eat.”

  After a filling lunch, Sarah drove the rest of the way while her mom napped and Harry watched movies. The drive was long, but the traffic was light and it gave Sarah the ability to contemplate her relationship with Coop. Her mind wouldn’t get off the thought that he’d leave her once he found out about Harry. Honestly, she knew it’d hurt her if he shunned her, but she couldn’t stand the thought of Coop turning his back on Harry. Harry was the innocent one in this equation. Well, if she was honest with herself, Coop was innocent as well. He didn’t ask for this. She owed him more than she’d given him. He gave her his heart and his trust, and she threw it back in his face all because of the words of the cleat-chasing slut. She knew that all those years ago, she should’ve given him the chance to explain what was said to her.

  Sarah was shaken out of her thoughts by a precocious nine-year-old with a bladder the size of a pea. Knowing she didn’t have much time, Sarah found the first exit she could and pulled into the service station. She watched Harry bolt out of the car like he was on fire to find the bathroom. Since, Sarah hated to just stop and use the facilities without buying something, she followed Harry in and bought drinks for everyone, and what the hell, a lottery ticket just for the fun of it. Can’t win if you don’t play. Collecting her purchases, which had grown exponentially since Harry came out of the bathroom, and her son they headed out to the car and down the road. Hones
tly, she didn’t know how he stomached all that sugar. It made her ill just thinking about eating it all, but she couldn’t complain because he was active and starting to put muscle on his slender frame.

  “Want some gummy bears?” Harry asked around a mouthful of them.

  “No thanks, Harry. I don’t have your metabolism anymore, and they would go straight to my hips. Although, she thought, she probably inherited good genes because she looked at her mom who still had a slim figure at her age.

  “Don’t know what you’re missing.”

  “Yes, I do. I used to be a kid too. I know it’s hard to believe, but I was nine once. The difference is Nana was hardcore, and I didn’t get as much sugar as I wanted which explained the freshman fifteen or maybe twenty.” Sarah had worked hard after that to lose the weight and maintain a healthier lifestyle. Even during her pregnancy, she had only gained about twenty-five pounds. Sarah watched as the headphones went back on and she assumed the conversation was over so she turned her attention back to the road.

  A few hours later, and a small traffic jam, they finally reached the All-Star Sports resort at Disney World. Sarah, could she Harry practically vibrating in his seat as they pulled in. This was why we came, she reminded herself. She wanted to see that smile on his face for a week straight. Sarah hoped she remembered to pack her Dramamine because she thought she was going to need it with all the roller coasters.

  After checking in, they went and found a place to eat dinner before catching a bus to the Boardwalk to see the lights and stretch their legs. Sarah texted Coop to let him know they arrived without any problems and that she would text him later. Finally, the adrenaline and excitement wore Harry out and they headed back to the room. Sarah talked her mom into watching Harry until he fell asleep so that she could call Coop.

  Sarah sat in a lounge chair watching the water gently lap at the edges contemplating her life, and the lies she had to tell Coop about her trip to Orlando. The lies just kept piling on and on for her. Even though she wasn’t very religious, she knew if she kept on this path she was going to hell for sure. Finally, through with her self-deprecating thoughts, Sarah Facetimed Coop. She was so happy to see his… “What the hell is that on your eye?”

  “Yeah, there was a little bench clearing brawl today. I’ve had a season long beef with this jackass from the Mets, and when the opposing pitcher hit our catcher after he had hit two homeruns, the benches cleared. We ended up going at it in the middle of the diamond. Apparently, we were the only two throwing punches, but man it felt good to pummel his ass into the ground. Unfortunately, I’m suspended for two days, so I get to sit in the hotel or see the sights. I think I might actually go try out some new golf clubs and buy a new set. Want some? I can send you a new set of pings.”

  “I don’t know when I’d get to use them, but if you feel the need sure. I want one of those pink drivers though.”

  “Always the girlie-girl. I’ll see what I can do. How was your drive down today?”

  “It was good. The traffic wasn’t too bad and mom and I had a great talk.”

  “Did you talk about me?”

  “Sadly, we did talk about you a lot. I found out some very disturbing things about my mother today also. I wish I could bleach them from my brain.”

  “Surely it can’t be that disturbing. I seem to remember your mom as a conservative person. Didn’t ever seem like one to get into trouble.”

  “She informed me today that she is a regular subscriber to Tinder because her vibrator just doesn’t do it for her anymore.” Sarah watched Coop spew water out of his mouth mid-swallow, then choke on what was remaining in his mouth. Sarah smiled because she didn’t think he had ever looked so cute.

  “What did you say?”

  “I was honestly speechless. I asked her why she hadn’t remarried or found a nice guy to date, and that was when she informed me of her need for Tinder and hot younger guys. Then she said she’d meet the man of her dreams when it was time. Apparently, my dad was not that man, but given how he left her after I was born, I wasn’t surprised. She told me more about him today than she ever has. She said he never wanted children, because he didn’t think he was the father type, and then when oops, I was born. He tried fatherhood, but eventually left. She said it was for the best.”

  “You want to know a secret? I never thought I was the fatherly type until you came back into my life, and now I can’t think about anything but you with a swollen belly carrying our child. I only want that with you.”

  Sarah couldn’t stop the tears that were flowing. She had denied Coop all the things he had just described. Her hand involuntarily went to her stomach as she thought of her pregnancy, and how alone she felt most of the time. Coop would have been over the moon after he got used to the idea.

  “Why are you crying baby?”

  “Just thinking about what you said, and how I could feel your baby in my belly. It’s a wonderful thought, but remember we still have a lot of ground to cover.”

  “I know, but a man can still dream can’t he. What are your plans for the week?”

  “I’m treating myself to a little time at Disney World. I haven’t been in years and thought it would be a good break. Mom is looking forward to it as much as I am. I feel like I haven’t had free time since before high school. This was one of my last fun memories, before I decided that I needed to be ‘Serious Sarah.’ You were the first person I let my hair down with and have fun. Then I became buttoned up serious Sarah again. Whatever it is about you, I always want to have fun. I should thank you, and if you were here, I’d thank you properly.”

  “I could be on a plane in a couple of hours. After all, I found myself with a few days off.”

  “You know, that could be fun, but my mom might object since we came together.”

  “So, is that why you’re talking to me outside?”

  “She was tired and I didn’t want to keep her up. Besides we have a busy day tomorrow. Unfortunately, that means no naked Facetime.” Sarah saw the pout on Coop’s face and laughed. “Your hand and memory will have to suffice until we get back home.”

  “Ouch. That’s not nice. At least you have the privacy of your room. I don’t even get that. I’m certainly not going to diddle the mouse with my mother in the bed next to me.”

  Coop couldn’t help but laugh. “Maybe you’ll get lucky and she’ll get a Tinder hookup” he said between laughs.

  “Not cool, Coop. Remember, I can’t get that out of my head. Maybe I’ll find a hookup. Aren’t there some hot rookie baseball players down here in extended training or something.”

  Coop stopped laughing. “Not cool, Sarah. It kills me to think of another man even looking at you, much less touching you.”

  “I’d never do that to you Coop. I care about you too much.”

  “I know baby. I would never do that to you either. I know it’s late for you and you have a busy day tomorrow. Go get some sleep. Good night.”

  “Good night and go put some ice on that thing. Your too handsome to sport a black eye.”

  Sarah hung up and walked back to her room. She was seeing more and more over time that she was wrong, but until she sat down and talked about it, she had to try and move forward. Sarah, walked into the room and watched Harry sleeping. He was such a great son. Sarah crawled into bed and fell asleep.

  The next day started with a bang as they went to have breakfast with Mickey and the other characters before getting early entrance to the park. They headed straight to Space Mountain and ended up riding it four times in a row. Sarah was glad her Dramamine was working. After Space Mountain, they headed to Thunder Mountain before Sarah finally called a timeout and went for something a little more serene with It’s a Small World. Even though Harry grumbled she could tell he enjoyed the easy motion of the ride and the cool air. After some lunch, they rode every ride there and kept going until dinner time. As they walked around the park looking in the shops, Sarah decided that she wanted to get everyone Mickey Mouse ears with their names em
broidered on them. She even wanted to get Coop one as a gag. She couldn’t picture him wearing it. By the time the park was ready to close, she thought she was going to have to carry Harry back to the room, but apparently, the thought of ice cream revived him enough to eat some and make it back to the bus and the room.

  Sarah watched Harry sleep. She knew he was exhausted, and he looked so peaceful. Sarah was excited for Harry. Baseball was Harry’s life, and the chance to see the Braves spring training complex, taking batting practice, and throw the ball with professional ballplayers would make his year. Sadly, if she’d just tell Coop, he could throw the ball around with his dad, a major-league ballplayer every day. Sure, that he was asleep, Sarah crept outside to talk to Coop.

  “Hey, baby. How was your day?”

  “It was a lot of fun. I forgot how much fun Disney World could be. This was a good idea. How was your day of suspension?”

  “Fine. I slept late, went and got fitted for some new Callaway clubs. Played a little golf. You know, life of a major-leaguer. By the way, do you know how hard it is to find a pink driver? If you’re Bubba Watson, they have no problem getting one. Anyway, you owe me big time but you have a nice new pink driver, three wood and rescue woods. Couldn’t get any pink irons though. I just had them shipped to my house so you can get them when I get home.”

  “I may just leave them with you since I can’t imagine playing with anyone else except occasionally Nicole and Marcie. Wanna play when we get back?”

  “Anytime, any place. What’s on the schedule for tomorrow?”

  “Lincoln got me a tour of the spring training facility. I’m going to go make an ass out of myself trying to hit a baseball, but it should be fun. I just hope they don’t laugh at me too much.”

  “Baby, if anyone laughs at you just tell me, and I’ll kick their ass when I get there.”

  “I don’t doubt that you’d defend my honor. Listen, I hope you have a good day tomorrow and enjoy your time off, but I’m tired and want to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for tomorrow. Good night, Coop.”

  “Good night, Sarah. Sleep tight and have fun at the complex tomorrow.”