A Heart Reborn

by BK Harrell

  “I’m sorry it didn’t go well today. He’ll come around.”

  “I don’t blame him. I suppose, I would’ve reacted the same way. I hit him with a sledge hammer today, and he needs time to recover and wrap his mind around it. I’ll have to give him time.”

  “I agree. Not to tell you how to run your life, but I really don’t think Harry should see you like this. If you want to head to bed, I’ll tell him you weren’t feeling well and went to bed early. I’ll bring you some soup later.”

  “Thanks, mom. I don’t really want him to see me like this either.”

  Sarah went to her room and changed clothes, still not able to see straight. She crawled into bed and in her mind thought it would be a good idea to drunk text Coop.

  S: I’m sorry Coop. I really didn’t mean to hurt you. Take your time.

  Sarah fell asleep and woke up when her mom brought her some dinner. She was disappointed to not have a response from Coop, but she expected a wall of silence from him. After eating, Sarah fell asleep again hoping she was okay to work the next day.

  Sarah quickly realized why she didn’t drink to excess anymore as she lumbered through morning rounds. Her head was pounding and her mouth still felt like a desert had set up home. She drank more water and Gatorade than she could ever remember, and by the time lunch rolled around, she was feeling halfway human. Just as she locked her computer screen and picked up her purse, her assistant appeared at her door.

  “Sarah, you have a visitor. She’s not on your schedule but said she really needs to speak to you.”

  Sarah sat back down and said, “Sure. Show her in.” Sarah was shocked when she saw Alice walk into her office like a woman on a mission. Shit, she thought that her day couldn’t get any worse. She took a quick sip of her water, but had trouble looking Alice in the eyes. She watched as she took a seat across the desk from her.

  “I suppose you know why I’m here.”

  “Yes, ma’am, and let me start by saying how sorry I am that I’ve affected your life this way.”

  “My life.” Alice said incredulously. “My life is the least of the concern. How could you do this to Harrison? That boy has loved you since the moment you fell into his lap.”

  Sarah couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. “I know. I’ve had to live with my decision every day, but I did what I thought was right to protect Harry. It’s not a good excuse, but it was a mother’s prerogative to protect their child.”

  “I can respect that, Sarah. I really can, but don’t you think Harry deserves to know his father and grandparents?”

  “Yes, ma’am. I want that so much. I don’t know if Harrison will ever forgive me. I just hope he doesn’t take it out on Harry. They both deserve to get to know each other. It’s all I want.”

  “Sarah, I want to meet my grandson, but it wouldn’t be fair to Harrison to meet him before he does. Dan and I want to be part of his life. You don’t have to do this alone or just with your mother. You have other family. I just wanted you to know that we aren’t angry. Upset, yes, but not angry. If you need anything you have our number. Please call, and give Harrison some time to wrap his head around his sudden lifestyle change. I prayed for so long that you two would find each other again, and that happened. He can be stubborn, but he loves you. He just needs to realize that this action was one of protecting your son from a man you mistakenly thought he was.”

  Sarah got up from her desk and walked around to Alice who had stood up to meet her. She accepted a strong embrace from Alice as the last few tears fell from her eyes.

  “Don’t be a stranger. We love you too, and we won’t tell the other kids about this yet. It’s your and Harrison’s story to tell.”

  “Thank you.” Sarah said. “Alice, I know it isn’t much and it really is a small consolation, but if you and Dan want to drop by the ballfield tomorrow afternoon around six you can watch him practice. I can’t introduce you, but you can see him.”

  “Thank you, Sarah. We’ll be there.”

  With one last hug, Sarah watched Alice leave her office before she sank back down into her desk chair. She was thinking so hard about that meeting that she didn’t hear Marcie come in.

  “I was wondering where you were. We were supposed to meet for lunch fifteen minutes ago.”

  Sarah recounted her impromptu meeting with Harrison’s mother. She felt Marcie’s arms embrace her and pull her in for a hug.

  “Come on. We can talk about it over lunch,” Marcie said as she pulled Sarah out of the office and down the hallway. As they walked down the hall, Marcie pulled out her phone and called Nicole for an emergency meeting.

  They all met at Joey D’s for lunch. Nicole came running in having just come from the driving range. After Marcie filled her in on what happened and they ordered, they got down to helping Sarah with her predicament.

  “What do you want to do, Sarah?” Nicole asked.

  “I don’t want to keep him away from his grandparents, but I can’t introduce them to Harry until Harrison decides what he wants to do. I was blindsided by this meeting, but I understand her desires. Christ, she has a ten-year-old grandchild she’s never met.”

  “Have you thought about what you are going to do if Harrison decides to not be in his life?”

  “No. I don’t think it’ll come to that. He may be stubborn, but he isn’t cruel. He may not want me, but he’ll want his child eventually. I did invite them to his baseball practice, but made it clear they could watch but not interact.”

  “How did she react to that?” Nicole asked.

  “She was fine with it. Ecstatic actually. I want them to see him play.”

  “Just temper your expectations because if they meet him, they’ll want to get to know him and love him like we all do.” Marcie said.

  “Harrison is the biggest obstacle right now. I just wish he would at least respond to me. I don’t expect much, but a little courtesy goes a long way.”

  “If he is anything like me, he’ll figure it out. Do you know where he went to?” Nicole said.

  “No. I was going to ask his mother, but I don’t think she’d have told me even if she knew.”

  “Just give it time, and if we need too, a lot of alcohol.” Marcie said.

  They all laughed and then finished their lunch before heading back to work.

  ***

  Coop stared at the glass of scotch sitting in front of him and the phone in his hand. He looked at the text message that Sarah had sent. He really was an ass for not responding, but what was he going to say. The worst part of the whole thing was that he was in love with her and couldn’t stop even if he tried. He took another gulp of the amber liquor in front of him. Motioning the bartender over, he asked for another glass.

  “You sure you want to keep that up at six hundred dollars a glass?”

  Coop was angered by the twit’s statement. He reached into his pocket and threw is American Express Black card on the table. “Just sell me the whole damn bottle. This should cover it.”

  The bartender just nodded and set the fifty-year-old scotch in front of him.

  Coop poured another glass and lit up his Opus X and began smoking it. It seemed that no matter what he drank or smoked, he couldn’t clear his mind. He was a dad to what appeared to be an awesome child. Why couldn’t he just except those facts? Sarah hadn’t betrayed him and gotten pregnant by some other dude and he was expected to step in. This was his child, his namesake. Coop stared back at the text message one last time before turning his phone off. Maybe tomorrow would bring more clarity. Coop finished the bottle and his cigar before heading back to his room to pass out for the night.

  When Coop awoke the next morning, he had a bitch of a headache and hangover. He couldn’t keep this up. This was bush league bullshit and he was above acting like this. He needed to do something that would help put his mind in a better place. After showering and drinking what felt like a gallon of water, he called his buddy Tony who played for the Mets, but lived in Las Vegas during the off-season.
He was hoping that he could use their facilities at the triple A stadium and take some batting practice and work-out. His buddy agreed to meet him at one for a work-out.

  Coop went downstairs and ate breakfast wanting to put solid food in his system. He was looking forward to sweating the rest of the alcohol out of his system and taking his frustrations out on the baseball. By the time one o’clock came, he was dressed and standing outside of the players’ entrance to the stadium. It had been a long time since he had been to Las Vegas to their stadium. Sadly, it hadn’t changed much in the last eight years.

  Tony walked up to him and gave him a one-armed hug and pat on the back. “Damn, good to see you. You looking for trade to New York? We could use a great third baseman.”

  “No. I love Atlanta too much, but if I piss my boss off too much, I may end up in Miami. Great food, cigars, and booze, but a shitty baseball team.”

  “What’d you do?”

  “Honestly, I didn’t do anything. Well, apparently, I have a child I didn’t know about, but how is that my fault. My girlfriend in college, Sarah, got pregnant, but then broke up with me because she thought I got someone else pregnant while dating her, which I didn’t. She didn’t know she was pregnant when she broke up with me. She wouldn’t tell me why she did it, and I just found out the why a few days ago when I found out I have a ten-year old son. So, again, how is any of this my fault.”

  “Dude, first, you were such a player in college. We all envied you. Then when you met Sarah, you calmed down like a domesticated dog. I could see why she’d be skittish. I mean after all, you were, well you. I don’t understand what this has to do with your boss? Is the new owner a bible thumper or something?”

  “No, he is her boss as well. She is this amazing doctor, and I get the sense he would choose her over me. I can’t blame him, I’d choose her over me. I just can’t wrap my head around this life change.”

  “You really are in a precarious position. So, you can either marry her, or at least claim the kid or start looking for a place on South Beach.” Tony said while laughing.

  “Not funny,” Coop said as he pulled the necklace out of his shirt with the engagement ring on it. “I’ve had this for ten years. I was going to propose after graduation, but never got the chance. I’ve thought through the years that we would find each other again, and we did, but now I feel like her deception has driven us apart.”

  “Well, just make sure you invite me to the wedding. I know you’ll figure it out. Let’s hit the weight room.”

  Three hours later Coop was feeling better, and they decided to make this a daily routine while he was in Las Vegas. He drove back to his hotel and headed to take a quick shower and eat dinner. Coop was starting to see his life as wash, rinse, repeat. He was either going to have to come to terms with this, find an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, or find a way to taking batting practice twenty-four hours a day. After dinner he settled into what was becoming his regular seat at the bar. Thankfully, the twit from the day before wasn’t there. He signaled the bartender and cut to the chase and ordered the bottle ahead of time. As he started his first drink and cigar, his phone pinged with another message from Sarah. She apologized again, but as before Coop could only sit there and stare at the message.

  A bottle of scotch and three cigars later, Coop headed back to his room. He kept hoping the liquor would dull his emotions enough to allow him to sleep, but that never seemed to be the case.

  ***

  Three weeks had passed as Sarah sat at her desk. She had heard nothing from Coop in three weeks. She had seen Alice and Dan multiple times at baseball practice and she even had dinner with them a few times. They were enjoying watching Harry play ball, and she spent time filling them in on Harry. That seemed to be her only joy in life, except for Harry. When she was alone in the dark of night or alone at work, she was in a constant state of depression. She had sent him a text a day for three weeks, but so far, he hadn’t responded to anything. She sat behind her desk struggling to get her head in work when Lincoln appeared at her door.

  “How are you holding up today?” Lincoln said.

  “I’ve been better. I wish he would just respond to me. I don’t even know where he is and I’m tired of faking happiness for every damn person that comes around. Thankfully, Marcie, Elisha, and Nicole have been there for me, and you and Cole have been tremendous, but seriously how long could it take to make up his damn mind.”

  “Do you want me to talk to him?”

  “He won’t answer my calls, but you can give it a shot.”

  “I was thinking more of a face to face sit down with him.”

  “He’s back?

  “No. One of the owners I know called and ask if I was wanting to trade him since he was spending so much time at his training facility.”

  “Oh. Please don’t trade him. I don’t want to hurt your team.”

  “I won’t trade him. I’ve got to go out of town for business for a few days, so I thought I would stop by and have a talk with him.”

  “I just need to know he’s okay. More than anything I’ve been worried about him.”

  “Okay then. I’ll have a talk with him.”

  Coop was sitting at the bar enjoying his bottle of scotch still staring at all Sarah’s messages when a familiar voice caused him to turn around.

  “You know, you can’t drink enough to numb the pain. Your problems will still be there tomorrow. I should know. I went through the same thing with Elizabeth and Nicole. You’ve been around long enough to know what happened to my first wife. I spent way too long in the bottle, thinking that I’d eventually wake up and it would have all been a nightmare, but it was my reality. It wasn’t until Rob and Erin picked my sorry ass up off the beach in Santiago, Dominican Republic that I got help and tried to move forward. Then I met Nicole and my life changed for the good.”

  “The problem is, Lincoln, I didn’t ask for this. All I’ve ever wanted to do is play baseball and marry Sarah. Now, I feel like I can’t trust her, but I still love her. To top it all off, I have a kid I didn’t know about for ten years.”

  “This may not be much help, but I got Nicole, and then a wonderful daughter in Aubrey who wasn’t mine, but I wouldn’t trade her for anything. Instant fatherhood sucks. You don’t know what to do, and here’s this kid who will look up to you with awe. Even worse for you, he already idolizes you, and you’re scared that you won’t be able to live up to it.”

  “That about sums it up. Are you going to trade me?”

  “No. Sarah told me not to trade you under any circumstances. She’s really concerned about you. I’ve got to say, it’s a pretty shitty thing to not even respond to her so that she knows you’re okay.”

  “I’ve felt like a pretty shitty person for the last three weeks. What if he doesn’t like me as a father? What if I don’t live up to his expectations?”

  “Yeah, been there and done that. I get it.” Lincoln looked at his watch. “Sorry to have to cut this short, but I do have a business meeting. Think about what I said. You can’t be a worse father than not having one. Remember that kids forgive easily and love with all their heart.” Lincoln reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out an envelope. “This is an invitation to Harry’s tenth birthday party. It’s on the twenty-ninth so you have a couple of days to clean up and head home if you want to be there, and do me a favor and text Sarah so she still knows your alive and well.”

  “Is that an order, boss?”

  “No, but it’s what the decent Harrison Cooper I know would do.” Lincoln stood up and shook Coop’s hand before heading off to his meeting.

  Coop sat there and stared at the amber liquid and his phone. He pushed the glass away and picked up his phone.

  H: Just wanted you to know that I’m okay. I’ll see you in a few days.

  Coop payed his bill and made his arrangements to return home the next day. He texted his mom to let her know he was coming home as well.

  Sarah was finishing her work day when her phone pinge
d. She was shocked to see a text from Coop, but relieved that he was okay and finally coming home. Sarah guessed that Lincoln had met with Coop. She was glad that he was coming home, but his short text left her to ponder what his state of mind was going to be. Had he made a decision about Harry? That was her biggest concern. Before she could lay her phone down she received another text from Coop.

  H: Take the 27th off. We need to talk.

  S: I’ll try, I should be able to. I only have a half day. If nothing else, I’ll be done by twelve.

  H: Fine, just plan on meeting me at two at The Cigar Shoppe in Cumming.

  S: See you then.

  Sarah laid her phone down and her thoughts overwhelmed her. She was sitting there with her hands in her head when Elisha walked into the office.

  “What’s up Chica? You look lost in thought.”

  “Sorry, I haven’t heard from Harrison in three weeks and today he finally texted me back to say he was okay, and that he wanted to meet with me on the 27th. I don’t know what to think anymore. Does he want Harry? Does he still want me?”

  “Are you willing to give him up for yourself so that your son can have a relationship with his father?”

  “Every day. I’ll hate it, but I’d do it for him.”

  “Then you have your answer. I know you’re going to fight for him, so let him fight for Harry first, then fight for him after he is settled. This is a big change for him. You’ve had Harry for ten years, and he’s never even met him.”

  “You’re right. It’ll just be strange to share Harry.”

  “I could only imagine. Wanna grab some dinner? I had to come over and sign some paperwork, and thought I’d see if you wanted to eat. I know you usually need to go home, but you look like you could use a friend.”

  “That would be great. Just let me call my mom, and tell her to go ahead and eat without me.”

  Sarah and Elisha left the office and headed to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. Sarah was feeling the need for dessert tonight.

  After they settled in and ordered some Gin Ricky’s and dinner, they sat back to discuss her situation more. By the time they had finished dinner Sarah was feeling much better. At least she had finally heard from Coop and no matter what his decision, she couldn’t change it or know it until tomorrow.