Community Service

by Dakota Madison

  A minivan came to a screeching halt in front of us. Obviously, it was Summer’s brother.

  I watched as the side door opened and a lift came down for Summer to load herself onto. She rolled herself onto the lift and parked.

  I wondered if her brother was going to come out of the van or if he was just going to load her in and take off into the night.

  I was completely shocked when someone in another wheelchair rolled around to our side of the mini-van from the opposite side.

  I was even more shocked when I realized it was Sawyer. Pieces of the puzzle started falling into place. Sawyer had obviously talked to his sister about me. What I couldn’t figure out was why Sawyer hadn’t told me about his sister. At first, I felt kind of hurt and then I felt a little betrayed. I felt like I was an open book with Sawyer and he hadn’t been open with me at all.

  “What are you doing here?” I snapped as Sawyer approached.

  “I’m picking up my sister,” he replied casually. I was mad that he was so nonchalant about the whole thing. Then he noticed Jude standing next to me and his demeanor completely changed. “And what are you doing with this asshole?”

  Jude stuck his middle finger up at Sawyer and Sawyer returned the gesture.

  “At least you can still get something up,” Jude snipped.

  Sawyer looked like Jude had slapped him. “Fuck you.”

  The two guys stared at each other and I wasn’t sure what to say or do. There was obviously a history between these two guys that I knew nothing about. No wonder Summer was acting the way she was toward me and Jude. She obviously really loved her brother and hated Jude because her brother did.

  Jude laughed. “I can’t believe you think you have a shot with someone like Maggie. Get real.”

  “And you think she’s going to have anything to do with a piece of shit like you.”

  “Excuse me,” I said as I moved in between the two guys. “I’m right here. I can hear you. Stop talking about me like I’m invisible.” I pointed my finger at Jude. “I already told you I don’t want to hang out.”

  Sawyer laughed and I glared at him. “You’re not off the hook. I’m mad at you, too.” I stuck my finger in his face. “We’ll talk about this tomorrow in the lab.”

  Both guys were now hanging their heads. Good, I thought. That’ll give them something to think about.

  Without uttering another word to either one of them, I turned and headed toward my car. By the time I unlocked my door and got inside, I was shaking with anger.

  Four

  I tossed and turned all night. I was still enraged by the fact that both Sawyer and Jude were fighting over me like I was some kind of possession. The biggest issue with that being that neither of them actually possessed me at all. And at the rate they were going, neither one of them ever would.

  It was close to eleven when my cell phone buzzed. Of course, I immediately panicked because when someone phones that late, it’s usually because something really bad has happened. My parents weren’t getting any younger and now that they were firmly in middle age, I always worried about them.

  When I glanced at the call display and saw it was Sawyer, my anger spiked again. Why was he calling me so late? Why was he calling at all? I told him we’d talk in the lab.

  “Hello,” I said as I answered. I could feel my voice break a little.

  “Did I wake you?” He sounded really down and that pulled at my heart strings a little—but just a little.

  “It’s almost eleven,” I replied.

  “I shouldn’t have called.” He sounded really bad and that made me feel worse.

  “It’s okay. What do you want?”

  “First, I wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier this evening. Jude and I have a long history but that’s no excuse. I’m sorry.”

  “Apology accepted. And I kind of figured there was something going on between the two of you and it just wasn’t about me. Neither of you know me very well.”

  “I really like you,” he interjected and it caught me off guard. “A lot.”

  I wasn’t sure how to respond. If he had told me that when we were in high school, I would have been over the moon but now—was I good enough now because he was in a wheelchair? I knew that sounded bad but the feeling was still there. I could rationalize Jude’s interest in me because I was a novelty. Being the new girl around the theater, I was also a new conquest. No doubt he felt the need to hang out with every new girl at least once.

  But I knew that wasn’t the case with Sawyer.

  “I’m still a little mad that you didn’t tell me about your sister. You knew I was going to meet her when I got to the theater. And it was obvious you talked to your sister about me.”

  “Was it that obvious?”

  “Very.”

  “I’m really sorry. I just wanted to see what Jude would do and I didn’t want there to be any influence.”

  “And you wanted to see what I would do when I met Jude?”

  I could hear him take in a deep breath. “Yeah, I wanted to see if you’d fall for him.”

  I didn’t want to admit that I was kind of falling for him. He’s a difficult presence to resist.

  “I really wish you would have told me.”

  “I promise I won’t keep anything from you again.”

  “Okay,” I said.

  He continued. “I also wanted you to know what Jude said isn’t true.”

  I wasn’t sure what he meant by that. “What part?”

  He cleared his throat and then said, “I can get it up.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. That was the last thing I expected him to say. That’s why he called me so late. He wanted to make sure I knew his dick still worked.

  “I’m happy for you?” I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to say.

  “I just thought you should know.”

  Why did he think I needed to know something so intimate? Was he thinking about me as a potential girlfriend? Someone who needed to know that he could perform sexually? That was really heavy. I wasn’t sure what to do with that information.

  “So what is the deal with you and Jude?” I asked. Since he wanted to share, I wanted to know what happened between them.

  “It’s kind of a long story.”

  “You already woke me up and mentioned it. And you already told me that you can have an erection. So there should be no secrets between us.”

  “I guess that was putting myself right out there, wasn’t it.”

  “Well, that was putting your dick right out there. Usually I get to know guys a little better before we start talking about their man parts.”

  He chuckled. “You would be shocked by the number of women who asked me about my ability to perform within minutes of meeting me. I guess I’m just used to it being a topic of conversation. Maybe it’s curiosity. I don’t know. It just doesn’t seem like a big deal to talk about any more.”

  “It’s kind of a big deal to me,” I admitted. “So, are you willing to indulge my curiosity and tell me about you and Jude?”

  There was a brief pause then he said, “Jude and I grew up together. Our parents were best friends. Neither one of us had brothers, so we were sort of like brothers but more like sibling rivals because we were super competitive with each other. We didn’t go to school together but our parents were always together on weekends and our families vacationed together. As we got older, the competition expanded to who could get the most girls. I was a jock and Jude was an artist. It was fun to try and predict which one of us a girl would go for. We almost had it down to a science.

  “After we both graduated, I went to the university and Jude decided he just wanted to act for a while and build up his resume with the goal of eventually moving to LA. We were both surprised when I met a girl my freshman year and fell completely and totally in love with her. Her name was Steffani. She was in pre-med. Beautiful and brilliant. She was the full package. Jude was jealous but he’d never admit it. He was still playing the field, trying to get lai
d as much as he could and then dropping the girls as soon as he got in their panties.

  “I was in a skiing accident during Christmas Break my freshman year. Jude and his family were there, too. Jude was skiing with me when it happened. It was bad luck that it happened to me and not him.

  “Steffani stayed with me for a while but I could tell that we were drifting apart. She was perfect in every way and I guess she always imagined herself with a perfect guy, not someone in a wheelchair. Instead of talking to me about it, she messed around with Jude behind my back. She knew he was the one person her being with would completely destroy me but she did it anyway.

  “It almost killed me when I found out. But do you want to know the most pathetic part? I wanted her back. Even though she betrayed me with a guy that was practically my brother, I still wanted her. I still loved her. And part of it was that I wasn’t sure anyone else was ever going to love me. I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to get a girl now that I was in a wheelchair. I was willing to even take part of her, that’s how pathetic I was.

  “It took me a long time to realize that Steffani loved the person I was but that guy died on the ski slope when I got injured. She wasn’t able to love the guy I had become as a result of the accident.

  “I also realized that I didn’t blame her. It took me a long time to admit to myself that if I was still able-bodied, I wasn’t sure I would be able to love someone in a wheelchair. How fucked up is that?

  “But I think being in a wheelchair has made me a better person. I’ve certainly become a wiser person. One thing I haven’t yet been able to do, though, is forgive Jude. He knew how much I loved Steffani. But it didn’t stop him from fucking her behind my back. And the only reason he did it was because he could. He didn’t even really like her that much. They only messed around for a while then he dumped her, just like every other girl he’d ever been with.

  “How do you look at yourself in the mirror knowing that you betrayed someone who was supposed to be your friend, at the lowest point in his life? But that’s the way Jude is. He’s still the same guy he was in high school. He’ll sleep with anyone willing to give it up and then it’s on to the next conquest.

  “Now you know why it bothered me so much to see you with him. I really like you, Maggie, and I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

  I didn’t say anything for a minute and Sawyer said, “Are you still there?”

  “That’s a lot to process,” I admitted.

  “Sorry for the information dump. I’ve never actually told anyone that story.”

  “No one?” I found that hard to believe.

  “My family knows, obviously, but no one else.”

  “Have you dated a lot since the accident?” I asked tentatively. I wasn’t sure if I was getting too personal but he had opened with talk about his penis.

  He laughed. “Not as much as I did before the accident. It’s hard because some girls seem to want to date me because they’re curious about what it would be like to be with a guy in a wheelchair. Not that I’m not happy to oblige any cute girl’s curiosity but that gets old. They don’t really care about me or getting to know me. And then there are girls who seem interested but the wheelchair gets in the way. They get freaked out or decide they can’t handle it. I want to fall in love again. I want someone to love me, a guy who happens to be in a wheelchair. I don’t want it to be about the wheelchair all the time.”

  “I think I understand what you mean when you say you don’t want to date me, that you want more.”

  “I’m actually kind of over the whole dating scene. It’s a lot of pressure. But what’s the alternative? I like that I can see you every day. We’re really getting to know each other. But it’s more organic. It’s not like we’re putting ourselves under a microscope or interviewing each other like people tend to do when they date. Does that make sense?”

  “In a weird way, I guess it does. I have to be honest, though. I can’t say I’m not a little freaked out by the wheelchair. You’re the first person I’ve ever met in a wheelchair and it takes some time to get used to. But I’m also starting to forget it’s there.”

  He sounded a little disappointed. I wasn’t sure what he wanted. I was being honest. “I don’t want to scare you, Maggie. Let’s just take things slowly. We can just be friends for a while, if you want, and see if it leads to anything else.”

  “I don’t want to make any promises, Sawyer. You’re obviously an attractive guy. I’m just not sure.”

  “I know I’m not exactly the guy that girls want to bring home to their mothers.”

  That stung. Even though he didn’t know my mother at all, he hit the nail on the head.

  “I guess it’s hard because I used to be that guy. The one that girls loved to show off to everyone when we were together. Now I’m the guy girls date on the sly because they don’t want anyone to know they’re fucking some guy in a wheelchair.”

  “I’m not like that,” I stated. I hoped I could never be that careless with someone else’s feelings. “Besides, according to you, we’re not going to date anyway, so you don’t have to worry about it being on the sly.”

  I was glad that made him laugh but then he got quiet again. “I don’t want there to be any confusion, Maggs. Just because I don’t want to date you doesn’t mean I don’t want you. I just want all of you all to myself. I know that it’s going to take time and effort to convince you that I’m worth it. But I’m willing to do what it takes.”

  I sighed. It made me sad to think that Sawyer didn’t think he was worth it. “Okay. I think we’d both better get some sleep. We’ve got to be in the lab pretty early tomorrow.”

  ***

  I was a little surprised when I got into the lab and there was another Erlenmeyer flask, sitting right in the middle of my spot on the lab table. This one was a little bigger and it held two daisies.

  I could hear the sound of Sawyer wheeling in behind me. His wheelchair wasn’t loud but it made a little whisking noise that I could now immediately recognize.

  And I could actually feel myself get a little tingly with anticipation when I heard it.

  “Like the flowers?” Sawyer said.

  When I turned to face him, he gave me a crooked little half smile. He was like such a little boy sometimes it made my heart melt. “I love them.”

  Reese approached our lab table and cleared his throat. When I looked over at him, he smiled. “I heard a rumor that you like coffee,” he said. He pulled his arm from behind his back and handed me a large Starbucks cup.

  “Hazelnut Macchiato,” he said. “I hope you like it.”

  “I do, thanks.”

  He stood there awkwardly for a minute. When I glanced over at Sawyer, he was scowling. I placed the coffee on the lab table next to the daisies.

  “Where’d you get the flowers?” Reese asked. “Do you have a secret admirer?”

  Before I could respond, Sawyer said loudly. “They’re from me.”

  Reese started blinking rapidly like he was trying to process what Sawyer just said. Then he laughed and said, “Okay.”

  “Why is that funny?” Sawyer asked. His tone was clipped and he was obviously not pleased. I could see his fists were clenched into tight balls.

  Reese shook his head. “No reason.” It seemed like there was more Reese wanted to say but he was refraining. He leaned over to me and said softly, “I hope you enjoy the coffee.” And then he walked back over to the other side of the lab.

  When Reese was out of earshot, Sawyer said, “I’m really starting to hate that guy.”

  “He was just being nice,” I said although I knew that probably wasn’t entirely true.

  “If he was just being nice, he would have brought us both coffees. He was just trying to get into your pants.”

  I turned to face Sawyer. “And you’re not?”

  He stifled a grin. “You know I am, Maggs. You also know I want your pants all to myself. It just pisses me off that Reese doesn’t see me as any real competition.”r />
  I got close to Sawyer’s ear and whispered, “You have more of a shot than he does.”

  Sawyer adjusted himself in his wheelchair. “Maybe we’d better get to work.”

  I nodded and we began our procedure.

  After about an hour of analyzing sediment, I turned to Sawyer and said, “Tell me the truth. Would you have gone out with me when we were in high school?”

  Sawyer bit the side of his mouth as if he was thinking about how to respond. “You were a lot younger than me.”

  “I’m only a year younger than you.”

  He shook his head. “That’s not what I mean. Were you sexually active in high school?”

  I could feel my face getting hot and I knew I was probably blushing. This was not how I imagined the conversation was going to go. I looked down at my hands. “No,” I finally admitted, although I had the feeling he already knew what my response was going to be.

  “You didn’t start having sex until you were in college?” he continued.

  I was mortified. “I was a late bloomer,” I justified.

  “That’s my point. Let’s just say I was in full bloom in high school.”

  “So you’re saying you only cared about sex.”

  “I was a teenage male. I thought about sex all the time. It wasn’t the only thing I cared about, though. I cared about sports, too.”

  I playfully slapped his arm.

  “Ouch,” he said and grabbed his arm with his other hand. “I can’t believe you hit someone disabled.”

  I frowned at him. “Seriously? You’re going to play that card with me? You’ve got huge arms that are all muscle. I barely even touched you.”

  “I’ve got to play every card I can with you until something works.”

  I hit his arm again a little harder. He really did have fantastic arms. And not just from using the wheelchair. It was obvious he worked out a lot. “Yes, I hit someone disabled, again, and you deserved it.”

  “You’re right,” he laughed.

  “So what about now?” I asked, serious again.

  “What do you mean?” He caught my gaze and I looked into his beautiful green eyes.