Forevermore

by Kristen Callihan

  Poppy’s cool voice broke through her heated thoughts. “Well, then you’ll understand that she had many, many lovers.”

  He sighed and turned away to pace. “As I feared.”

  “Why do you ask?” Poppy called out.

  Sin stopped and turned. But his gaze went to Layla. An awful sort of sinking feeling came over her at his hesitation. It grew worse when he drew near and hunkered down beside her. He spoke to both of them but kept his attention on Layla. “Augustus claims that Lena is your mother.”

  Layla let out a breath. “I know.”

  Sin cocked his head as if she’d pinched him. “You know this?”

  “Augustus told me before he left.”

  “Bloody hell.” Sin ran a hand through his hair, upsetting the black locks. “Thing is, love. I believe the bit he did not want you to know is that Lena isn’t sanguis. She might drink blood, but she is Damnation.”

  “Bollocks,” Poppy said with a sharp breath.

  Layla, however, went utterly cold. “I am part Damnation? Augustus’s enemy?”

  “No, little bird.” Sin knelt close. “He loves you. Never doubt that. He told me not to tell you until I felt it was time for you to know.” Sin squeezed her hand. “That time must be now, for I cannot keep this from you any longer. In truth, it hurts my heart to keep anything from you.”

  Poppy gave him a ghost of a smile. “Come now, little brother, you know as well as I Augustus can be a cagey fiend. I cannot pretend to understand his reasoning here. If I had to guess, however, I’d say that he asked you to wait because he wanted you and Layla to get to this point of trust in each other before you told her.”

  “A test, was it?” Sin’s lip curled. “I’ve had about enough of those, thank you.”

  Poppy snorted. “I’ve dealt with the man since I was a girl. I empathize, believe me.”

  Layla stood then. “So then, my mother was a woman of loose morals and multiple bed partners. I could be anyone’s.” She gave a weak laugh. “At least it explains my lust for blood.”

  “You crave it?” Poppy asked.

  And Layla winced. “At times. Other times, the mere smell and sight of it makes me ill.”

  “Perhaps your sire’s ilk detested blood.”

  “Putting my very nature in opposition of itself?” Layla offered with a frown. “How horrible.”

  “Nothing about you is horrible, little bird,” Sin said at her side. He glanced at Poppy, who stared at him with quiet bemusement, as if his words shocked her. Sin’s high-cut cheeks flushed, but his tone remained neutral. “Augustus told me he was going to track down Lena. Where could he have gone?”

  Poppy’s red brows knitted. “I cannot imagine. Lena has been missing since we found you, St. John. Not a trace of her remains in London. To look for her abroad would be next to impossible. He must have some idea of where to search if he had any hope of finding her.”

  “And when he found her?” Layla was compelled to ask. “How would she receive him?”

  Both Sin and Poppy appeared troubled. Poppy spoke first. “Many do not know this, but Lena and Augustus created the SOS together. There is good in her; I know it. She was my closest confidant until we quarreled. But Lena, when cornered, is volatile, and no one can ever predict how she will react.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Lena

  There had once been a time in her life when Lena fed off violence and blood the way humans sat down to a thirty-six-course meal. Such lovely decadence. Enough to bloat her belly and leave her lethargic, replete with satisfaction. And yet, when the happy glow faded, she was left empty and ashamed. What a horrid thing to realize that she was defective, unable to think and act as a proper Damnation.

  Augustus had done that to her. He took one look at her, seeing deep into her soul, and deemed her worthy. Worse still, he’d fallen in love with her. What was she to do, then?

  In the beginning, she had not wanted his love and had lashed out in an attempt to keep him at bay. But the stubborn man kept coming back for more, chasing her to the ends of the earth. And she found herself yielding to him. She fell in love. With a Judgment angel, of all things. Hideous.

  What she did not realize then was that, once she’d let love into her heart, she wanted more. She began to crave connection, friendships, to be part of something whole and good. And once she found that, she did everything in her power to protect it. She’d changed, no longer true Damnation but hiding out as a simple sanguis demon. Well, not simple. She was the most powerful of her supposed kind.

  And then it had all gone to hell because of one selfish act. Two, actually, for the first had been falling for an angel. It was wrong to love someone so pure. Her soul would forever taint his.

  Lena sighed, looking out over the dancers in the Viennese dance hall. Truly, there was nothing like it in the world. The enormous room glittered, as if one had walked into the heart of a diamond. Mirrored walls, the panels gilded by ormolu; rows of crystal chandeliers dripping from the ceilings; flickering sconces—all of it designed to illuminate the patrons in the best light possible.

  Oh, the patrons.

  When she’d first come to this dance hall, the women’s bodices had been formed into flat V shapes, laced so tightly, bosoms plumped high. Skirts had been so wide one had needed to angle to the side to get through doors. But the men had been the true peacocks—with golden heels, silken hose, and vibrant, often outrageously colored frock coats and knickers.

  Now they wore boring, staid black suits, leaving the women to have all the fun with color. Dresses were still tight on the bodice, which now plunged as low as one dared, but the skirts were narrow, structured bells. Colors were jewel-toned but somber and muted.

  An arrow of longing shot through her. She wanted to go back to those days. Back to when a handsome, black-haired angel of Judgment and mercy stalked her through the crowds. He’d asked her to dance. And, fool she, had accepted.

  Lena had not enjoyed breaking his neck the other night. It had been badly done but necessary. Still, it hurt to see him crumple to the ground, his sightless eyes staring up at her as if in accusation.

  The orchestra began to play an old favorite, the Blue Danube waltz. Tears threatened. She did not want to think of waltzes. Why had she come here?

  Turning quickly, she bumped into a body. Only to look up and suck in a breath.

  “Augustus.”

  His beautiful dark eyes peered down at her. There was a hint of humor in his eyes, tempered with a larger amount of annoyance. She had, after all, broken his neck. Likely it had pained him for a few hours after he’d revived.

  “Thanks to you,” he said by way of greeting, “street punks stole my billfold.”

  She gave him a look and he took her hand, all but dragging her onto the dance floor.

  Just like that, they were waltzing once more. For a long moment, they simply enjoyed the music, spinning circles around less graceful human dancers. And it was perfect. He guided her around as though he were born to do just that, to lead her wherever he pleased.

  And then he had to ruin it all by speaking. “Come back with me, Lena, and face them. We’ll do it together.”

  Blood rushed out of her heart and down towards her toes. For a moment, she could only gape at him, and then her blood surged back through her, filling her with hot rage.

  “Face them? As though I were some recalcitrant child in need of reprimanding?” She sneered. “And to be brought in by you, of all beings? Oh, that is quite ironic, is it not, Augustus?”

  He stared at her, his onyx eyes unblinking. “Tell me why you think so.”

  He did not sound curious in the least. No, he wanted to hear what he already knew.

  Lena tossed her head, the beads clicking with a familiar sound. It did little to soothe her now. “You’ve fooled them all, haven’t you?” she said. “Made them believe you are their benevolent leader, when really . . .” Her chest tightened, the horrifying urge to sob rising up from within.

  “W
hen what, Lena?” he murmured, encouraging her to go on, as he danced them around the room.

  “Who was it that, a millennia ago, placed the Sword of Maat in cave, knowing that it was the one weapon able to destroy a Judgment angel, knowing that one day Miranda Archer would use it to save Benjamin Archer by plunging it into their enemy’s breast?”

  “It was I,” Augustus said.

  “Benjamin Archer, whose love and care for his wife would help her reunite with her sisters, Poppy and Daisy. Poppy, the leader of the SOS, who’d been losing heart until that moment.”

  “So it happened,” he agreed.

  “Who was it that stepped between Aodh and Mab on that long-ago day in the glen,” she shouted, unable to hold it in any longer. “Who turned Aodh into Adam, the king of the GIM? The man able to create clockwork hearts, the very sort of heart that would whir in Mary Chase’s breast, the girl who would one day save Jack Talent? Who did that?”

  “It was I,” he answered, conducting a turn.

  “Who was it sweeping out of the sky to save a wounded Winston Lane, Poppy’s husband, from certain death? Lane, who with that one act would suddenly be beholden to Apep? Lane, who would force my hand into revealing to Poppy that St. John Evernight lived?”

  “Go on,” he said.

  “Lane who, with Jack Talent’s help, would finally outwit Apep and see him sent permanently to Judgment.”

  “It was I who saved Lane,” Augustus said.

  “And when Apep was sent back to hell, did it not open up a crack that let out the fallen Amaros? The fiend who captured inventor Holly Evernight and sanguis demon Will Thorne?”

  “It did.”

  “And in creating Adam and the golden clockwork hearts, did it not give inventor Holly Evernight the means to create her own heart to place inside Will Thorne?”

  “Yes.”

  “Will Thorne who was thus transformed into a being capable of destroying the entire head of the Nex, the very organization that we’ve been striving to silence for centuries.”

  “He did at that.”

  “And in using Adam’s magic without his consent, did it then make Will Thorne the one being capable of freeing Adam’s soul mate Eliza May from Adam’s hold, thus forcing Adam to become Mab’s plaything?”

  “That did occur,” he agreed, his expression blank.

  Lena seethed, her breasts pressing against her bodice with each deep breath she took. “And when Mab finally had Adam, she became obsessed with keeping him, blind to any danger. Thus giving her desperate blood slave, St. John Evernight, the opening he needed to destroy her.”

  “She was quite distracted,” Augustus said.

  “Oh, yes,” Lena said. “All that was required to get rid of your long-time enemy Mab was for St. John to become Judgment. And what do you think he would say should he discover that it was you who put the idea into his housekeeper’s mind to tell him of the fae? You who willingly set him up to be a blood slave to give him the proper motivation to become a killer.”

  “I suspect he shall be cross with me,” Augustus answered.

  “You manipulated them all. You used your dark talent to see into the future, and you pushed each and every one of them towards your own end game.”

  Augustus’s careful expression shattered, and his grip upon her waist tightened, his dark eyes blazing silver. “Yes. I saw the possible outcomes and helped them achieve the best ones.”

  “For you or for them?”

  “Are they not happy?” he snapped. “Have they not found their soul mates?”

  “Do not pretend you did it for love,” Lena snarled. “You had them do your dirty work. Get rid of Mab, destroy the Nex, keep the SOS alive.”

  “Are you saying these deeds were for naught?” He tilted his head as if confused. “That they did not need to be accomplished?”

  “Of course they did,” Lena retorted hotly. “But that is not your end game. What is it, then, Augustus?”

  His fine jawline bunched. “Balance. St. John needed to become Judgment, not simply one of many, but its leader.”

  “You are their leader.”

  His gaze shot to her, and she froze under the onslaught of anger she saw reflected there. Anger and despair. “I am fading, Lena. As you well know.”

  The words punched into her. Each one a brutal hit. She missed a step. Then another.

  Augustus corrected their course, navigating the floor as though he hadn’t just destroyed her. “Fading. I have but days to set my affairs, such as they are, in order. And then I am no more for this world, or any world that you can reach.”

  The unspoken truth hung between them. He’d lost his chance at forever leading Judgment when he let her go. He’d been ordered to collect her soul. And he had refused. Under their laws, the only acceptable reason he could have for sparing her soul was if she was his true soul mate. But Lena had rejected him.

  She swallowed hard. “And what of Layla?” It hurt to utter her name. “You left her under St. John’s care. Why?”

  He huffed out a breath, clearly not expecting the question. Likely he’d expected her to say something of their own predicament. But she could not do so and keep her composure. Not yet, anyway.

  “Because I know what she is, Lena.” Such accusation in his voice.

  Her heart gave a great thump. “Oh? And what is she?”

  “Damnation and Judgment in one.” His dark eyes blazed. “You joined with a Judgment angel. Who? And why?” He punched his chest as if he could not contain his rage any other way. “Why would you do that to me?”

  Lena laughed then. It was that or cry. “Oh, Augustus, you old fool. Always seeing so clearly except where your own affairs are concerned.” Her laughter cut off abruptly. “Have you not figured it out? In all these years?”

  His brows drew together. “Do not toy with me, Lena.”

  “You don’t like how it feels? To be toyed with by another? Imagine that.”

  His nostrils flared in warning. Lena shrugged as if it were nothing. “You have always loved Layla as your own. Did you not wonder why?”

  “Oh-ho, no,” Augustus uttered with a humorless laugh. “Do not even jest about this. Not even for a moment. You and I have never lain together.” His eyes glowed bright silver. “Never.”

  “Because even though you wanted me, you would not lie with me until I agreed to be yours in heart and soul,” Lena said with disgust. “Holding your virtue over me like some great prize.”

  “It is all I have left of me to give,” he ground out, finally snapping. They stopped at the edge of the dance floor. And he stared down at her. “And it isn’t enough, for you won’t take it.”

  “I wanted it,” she snapped back. “Wanted it, wanted you, so badly that I’d do anything to get it.”

  The air seemed to suck out of the room. Around them “Blue Danube” bubbled and bounced, the notes so light and happy, it brought smiles to faces. Not theirs. They were in a bubble of misery.

  “What did you do?” he whispered before his voice grew in strength. “What did you do, Lena?”

  “Apep.” The name was bitter on her tongue. “You know him well, demi god of chaos and lies. A being capable of granting any wish for a price.”

  All the color drained out of Augustus’s face. He simply stared at her as if suddenly seeing a stranger.

  Lena forged on, knowing she was destroying all hope for them. “In return for telling him that Margaret had a male child, I asked for a wish of my own. You.” Hells bells, of all the foolish things she’d done, that had been the greatest.

  “You . . .” Augustus’s voice cracked. “You asked for me. How so?”

  She glared at him. “You know very well. One night together. One night of your total complicity. And you would not remember.”

  His throat convulsed as if he’d be ill. “Are you saying . . .”

  “We fucked, my virtuous friend. All night long—”

  Her words cut short as he suddenly raised his hand as if to strike
her. But he did not. He made a tight fist and let his hand fall. Growling, he caught her arm and walked them into an alcove, half hidden by a massive potted palm.

  “You did that to me?” he whispered thinly. “To us? Cheapened what we could have had?”

  “You cheapened us when you made what should have been a natural step into some bloody prize.” Lena almost believed her words, but regret lay heavy upon her heart. Because he was right too.

  He shook his head, his features pinched with hurt. “I would have given you everything if you had only given me your heart. Your love. Instead you took from me. And . . . Layla? You took that from me too, did you not? She is my child, and I never knew.”

  “I gave her to you,” Lena cried. “You saw her grow. You have her love and affection.”

  “Do not try to disguise this as an act of benevolence. You know there is a world of difference in the truth and your twisted little version of it.”

  “Which proves we are more alike than not.”

  He glared, and the air around him began to crackle. “Apep killed Margaret because of you.”

  “I know.” It was one of her greatest regrets. “Which is why I did what I could to keep St. John’s location hidden. Until you mucked that bit up. See? Alike.”

  When he did not speak, she went on. “Go back to Layla. Watch over her. She does not need me.”

  “I am weak now. Unable to do more than guide. She needs all the help she can get,” he retorted hotly, then sighed. “Lena . . . I see Damnation. Coming for her. Claiming her soul.”

  Ice lashed around her heart and squeezed. “All the more reason to keep me far away.”

  “You are no longer true Damnation.” His dark eyes searched hers. “She will die, Lena. And this Damnation, whoever he is, shall break open a permanent crack between Here and Nowhere. Hell, Lena, will be open to us all.”

  Everything inside her screamed in protest at the idea of returning. How could she face the child she had left behind?