Wake up, girl!

by Niharika Jindal

  My face had turned bright red. I wanted to hide under my chair as everyone looked at me.

  ‘If it wasn’t for you, Naina, I would have never met Sunaina. Thank you.’ Akshay raised his glass of champagne to me.

  Sunaina grabbed the mike ‘We love you, Naina! I’ll miss you terribly.’

  Oh, come on, they’re being so sweet, Naina!

  Yes, inner voice, but everyone’s staring at me! I raised my glass of champagne back at them.

  Thankfully, that was the cue for the music to play.

  Aerosmith’s ‘I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing’ drifted through the crowd as Akshay and Sunaina had their first dance as an engaged couple. Everyone was back to staring at them.

  I needed a glass of water. I got up to walk towards the buffet counter.

  Sunaina was referring to my moving to London. I was leaving in ten days. I could hardly wait, I was that excited.

  Mom and Dad had finally come to terms with it.

  Mom hadn’t left a single stone unturned to get me to change my mind, but I was not budging. It was hilarious to see her cry, and then stop within a minute when she saw that it was having no effect on me.

  I was appalled that I hadn’t noticed this tactic of hers before!

  The wind was blowing lightly, and I smoothed my dress back into place. I was so glad that they’d chosen a western theme. It was too hot to wear Indian clothes.

  ‘Can I get a bottle of water, please? Chilled,’ I asked the guy behind the counter.

  I hadn’t felt like coming back to Delhi so soon after the Delhi debacle.

  I just didn’t want to run into the Agarwals anywhere.

  Now, that would be awkward.

  ‘Anything to eat, ma’am?’ The guy behind the counter asked me.

  I shrugged. Sure, why not.

  ‘Can I get penne pasta in pink sauce? Red and white mixed. I’d like mushrooms with that,’ I instructed. ‘Please add extra chili flakes. But, don’t make it too spicy.’

  ‘I’m glad to see your appetite’s still intact,’ a familiar voice called from behind.

  I knew who it was before I even turned.

  Ayaan.

  A whirlwind of memories came back to me. I almost dropped the bottle of water that I held in my hands.

  ‘Hi, Ayaan,’ I said in high-pitched tone. I cleared my throat.

  Naina, don’t you dare go back to being a social retard!

  ‘Naina, relax.’ Ayaan looked like he was about to laugh. ‘You don’t need to be so awkward.’

  He knew me so well. Of course, he knew that I was in a brain-freeze mode right now.

  I took a deep breath. ‘How are you? I didn’t know you were in India.’

  My voice was back to normal.

  Ayaan looked exactly the way I had last seen him. Just thinking about our last time sent a wave of anguish through my entire body.

  ‘I had a two-week leave from work. So, am here visiting the parents. Luckily, Sunaina’s engagement news came around the same time, so I thought I’d drop by,’ Ayaan said with a smile.

  My pasta was ready. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do.

  ‘Should we sit?’ Ayaan asked.

  ‘Yes.’ I led the way to a nearby table.

  I was so relieved that he was speaking to me in a civilized manner.

  ‘So, how are you doing?’ Ayaan asked me as we sat down.

  ‘Okay,’ I lied. ‘Actually, not so good, to be honest.’

  Ayaan nodded, ‘Sunaina filled me in on everything. How are you holding up?’

  ‘I’m actually glad about everything that happened. In a twisted sort of way. It made me wake up,’ I said quietly.

  I looked towards Ayaan. He was looking at me with a knowing look in his eyes.

  ‘I’m sorry, Ayaan. For everything. I’ve been meaning to apologize to you for a while now. I just couldn’t figure out the words or the way to do it. I was dumb and stupid and most of all, a coward,’ I said sincerely. ‘I hope that you can forgive me. For everything. It’s entirely my fault. I wish I could press a replay button and things could play out differently.’

  ‘Naina, I’m just glad you’ve figured out stuff for yourself. Better late than never. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Shit happens,’ Ayaan said.

  ‘Yes, I know. My mother said some terrible things over the phone that day. I want to apologize to you for that. That should never have happened,’ I told him.

  ‘Naina, she wasn’t wrong, in her own way. She was looking out for you. Maybe we just weren’t meant to be. Sure, we had some amazing times together. And maybe we’ll both cherish them forever. But, there’s no point dwelling on the negatives. I don’t hold any hard feelings towards you, Naina. In fact, you’ll always have a special place in my heart. Don’t ever think that I hate you,’ Ayaan said.

  I smiled. Ayaan would always be special to me as well. I realized that I no longer had any romantic feelings towards him and just wanted him in my life as a friend. It felt so good to say whatever I wanted to say to him – I felt as if a load had been lifted off my chest. ‘So, how’s New York? Are you seeing someone?’

  ‘Yes, I am, as a matter of fact. You’d like her,’ Ayaan said.

  ‘I’m sure I would. I’m glad we’re talking, Ayaan. I know we haven’t spoken since a while, but I hope we can be friends. I’d really like that,’ I said with a smile.

  ‘Me too, Naina. I was so happy to hear that you’re going to work in London. You have so much potential. It should not be wasted,’ he said. ‘In a way, you should thank your ex-fiancé, he made you come to your senses!’

  I started laughing. Ayaan was right. If the incident hadn’t taken place, I would still be whiling away my time, and having arranged-marriage meetings.

  ‘True that,’ I said.

  ‘Good things sometimes happen in mysterious ways, Naina. Just have faith. Finally, you’re living out the true meaning of your name – and opening your eyes to the world. You’re going to kill it in London,’ Ayaan informed me.

  Nice line.

  He was always a smart one, wasn’t he?

  I nodded, ‘I hope so too.’

  ‘You will. C’mon, eat up! Your pasta’s getting cold.’

  Chapter 24

  Four months later

  ‘Come on, Naina. Let’s go out. You never go out,’ Michael whined from his cubicle next to mine.

  ‘Michael, not today. I’m really tired,’ I lied.

  I just wanted to go back to my apartment and watch Gossip Girl re-runs. Or, maybe I would watch Grey’s Anatomy tonight.

  Oh yes! Nothing better than sipping wine and watching McDreamy cut through people’s brains.

  Okay, that just sounded wrong.

  ‘You’re always tired! Are you sure you’re okay? Maybe, we need to take you to a doctor’s for a full-body checkup.’

  I rolled my eyes. Michael was such a drama queen. And he was royally gay. He could whine for hours and hours and never tire.

  Pretty ironic, isn’t it?

  My closest friend in London was gay.

  Michael had laughed his brains out when he’d heard that I’d briefly been engaged to a gay guy in India before coming to the UK. I had tried to explain how the entire situation had played out, but Michael had remained stuck at the ‘gay’ part and would not go beyond.

  Michael and I had become friends at the Citibank training centre in the first week of my arrival in London, and I’d taken an instant liking to him. He had spent an entire evening judging the way everyone was dressed, and had rated them on a scale of one to ten. I was too horrified to know what rating he would give me.

  So, to save myself the torture, I had never asked and he had never told me.

  That pretty much answers that question, doesn’t it? Hmmm. Whatever.

  My lifelong dream of having a close gay friend was finally fulfilled.

  ‘Naina, come on! There’s this really classy bar at the Mandarin Oriental hotel. I promise it’s nothing like the previous places I’ve taken
you to. I’m extremely apologetic about the last outing, you know that. Those places were a real lapse of judgement,’ Michael said.

  He walked over to my cubicle and peered down at me. His polo knit sweater and perfectly cut blond hair made him look like a preppy schoolboy.

  ‘If you mean those rowdy places where everyone spills their drinks on each other and groping is on the menu, then yes, you should definitely be apologetic,’ I said sarcastically.

  ‘You know you enjoyed it,’ Michael winked.

  ‘You mean you enjoyed it. Particularly, that gay bar we went to. That, literally, was the height of testing my patience for the places you take me to!’

  ‘Oh, wow. That was an amazing night. I got lucky that night,’ Michael said with a dreamy look on his face.

  Well, at least one of us was getting lucky.

  To be honest, I didn’t feel like engaging in any sort of sexual behaviour, or even harmless flirting with random strangers at bars or clubs.

  Apart from Michael, the only person that I met on a regular basis was Neesa. And that too only when she visited London from her university, which was a couple of hours away.

  I was just happy being here, enjoying the city.

  I absolutely loved London! Walking in Hyde Park, roaming around Oxford Street, sitting by the fountain at Trafalgar Square…it was all amazing.

  Not to mention the food. London had some of the most phenomenal restaurants in the world.

  Besides, I was enjoying being far away from home. And from all the pestering relatives and aunties.

  Mom had still not given up on her attempts to get me back to Indore. She would call me once in a while, apologizing profusely for being a control freak, and breaking down in tears. She would then subtly move to asking me to return home.

  If Sapna Bansal thought I was moving back home anytime soon, she was highly mistaken.

  Dad, on the other hand, was handling it pretty well. He was even showing a keen interest in me being a research analyst at Citibank.

  ‘Naina! Where did you go?’ Michael snapped his fingers in front of my face.

  ‘Michael! Don’t do that! You know it really annoys me.’ I told Michael in an exasperated tone. I don’t know why, but it always got my goat when people did that.

  ‘I had to. You go off to Naina-land every once in a while. And, besides, I love bugging you. You know that as well,’ Michael said in his cheeky tone.

  Michael and I loved sparring with each other. It was certainly one of the highlights of my day.

  ‘Not everyone has as entertaining a time as you do in Michael-land,’ I stated.

  ‘Okay, enough of this depressing talk. We’re going out,’ Michael said firmly.

  I pointed towards my flickering desktop screen where a Power Point presentation was gazing back at me. ‘I have work to do.’

  ‘What exactly are you working on that can’t wait another day?’ Michael threw up his hands.

  ‘I have a presentation in two days, remember? Of everything I’ve been working on for the past four months. I have to present it in front of the management! And it’s scaring the bejeesus out of me, Michael. You know that Jack has it for me.’ My face clouded over.

  I was referring to Jack Taylor, my supervisor at Citibank. I don’t know what I’d done to piss him off, but he seemed to dislike me immensely.

  ‘Jack’s an asshole to everyone, Naina. It’s not just you. I haven’t heard a single good thing about him,’ Michael informed me. ‘What’s your presentation about?’

  ‘Well, I have to present three years’ projections for Unilever, Vodafone and BP. I have been working on collecting data regarding these companies for the past four months and understanding their future business plans. The added revenue they’re going to generate in the following year is an extremely important part of the presentation,’ I explained.

  ‘Hmm. I think I have a similar presentation in a couple of weeks. Data on different companies, of course,’ Michael said.

  Michael was a research analyst at Citibank as well. However, he had been appointed a different supervisor. Someone who wasn’t as big of a jerk as Jack Taylor.

  Other than Jack, my time at Citibank and London had been spectacular.

  I sighed, ‘I just hope it goes well. Presenting is not one of my strong skills.’

  Whenever there was a presentation assignment in either school or college, I’d always choked up. I had tried every single thing in the cheat book to get out of doing it.

  ‘You’ll be fine, Naina! Your presentation isn’t tomorrow! Why you want to mope and worry about it today? It’s not like you’re going to work on it at home. Don’t think I don’t know that all you do is drink wine by yourself and watch TV shows. What were you planning on watching tonight? Gossip Girl? Grey’s Anatomy?’ Michael asked angrily.

  My face turned red with embarrassment. Was I really that predictable?

  ‘Grey’s Anatomy. Meredith and Derek are back together.’

  ‘Well, good for them! Don’t you want your own Derek sometime soon? You’re definitely not going to find him sitting on your ass doing nothing!’

  He does have a point, Naina.

  ‘But…what about…?’ I said, looking at my computer screen.

  ‘Oh, screw your presentation. It’s one presentation, Naina. Even if you screw it up, it won’t be the end of the world. We’re going out. I’ve just about had it with you. I’ll pick you up from your apartment at 9 pm. Oh, and wear something sexy. Please show some cleavage, for a change. You Indian girls behave as if every male in the vicinity is out to devour you if you show even the slightest skin,’ Michael huffed and walked away.

  I laughed. Michael really had a way of putting things into perspective.

  But he was highly mistaken if he thought I was going out with him. Grey’s Anatomy certainly won tonight.

  Chapter 25

  ‘Naina, how’s your presentation coming along?’ A formidable voice broke my thoughts.

  It was Jack.

  ‘Oh, it’s coming along fine, Mr Taylor,’ I said quickly.

  I didn’t want him to know that I hadn’t made any progress whatsoever.

  ‘It better be coming along fine. I don’t need any embarrassment in front of the partners,’ Jack warned and walked away.

  Could he be more scary?

  He literally made me want to rip my hair out.

  Panic rose within me. I really hated presentations.

  ‘Naina. He’s gone. Relax. Or do you want a sexy boy to come relax you?’ Michael wiggled his eyebrows at me.

  I rolled my eyes. Michael was obsessed with my sex life.

  Or lack thereof.

  Don’t listen to him, Naina. You wouldn’t be able to handle a one-night stand.

  I agree. But I couldn’t help wondering what it might actually be like…

  ‘Shut up, Michael. What do you want?’ I blushed.

  I really needed to concentrate on my presentation, not sex.

  ‘Oooh, you’re blushing,’ Michael laughed.

  Oh, well, screw me. It had been a long time since I’d had any sort of sexual gratification.

  ‘Is there anything I can help you with?’ I almost screamed.

  ‘Oh, nothing. Just came to say hi.’ Michael started to leave, but then turned and sat next to me. ‘Actually, that’s a lie. So, there’s this guy…’

  I sighed, ‘Of course. There’s always a guy. Tell me.’

  ‘You know John, right? The guy we met at orientation? Well, he knows I like him. I think he likes me, too, but he’s playing hard to get. So, I don’t know what to do. But he’s so hot, Naina.’

  ‘WHY CAN’T YOU PEOPLE DO ANYTHING RIGHT?’ Jack’s voice suddenly boomed from a distance. Someone had obviously messed up.

  Panic rose within me again.

  ‘Bye, Michael. We’ll talk about this tomorrow.’

  I looked back at my desktop screen.

  I was so fucked.

  …

  ‘Next up, we have Naina
Bansal from the market analysis team, presenting on Unilever, Vodafone, and BP,’ Jack announced.

  We were in the Citibank conference room, and a bunch of presentations were going on today.

  I took a deep breath and walked to the front of the room.

  There was a clap of thunder outside and a huge shadow fell into the room. It was going to rain heavily today.

  A phone rang and one of the partners went out of the room to take the call. ‘Hold on, please,’ someone announced.

  Fuck.

  I wanted to get this over with already. My presentation was supposed to have taken place first thing in the morning, but things were running late, and now it was 6 pm.

  Mr Doyle, one of the junior partners said, ‘I think we’d all like to get out of here early. So, let’s finish it off quickly, right Ms Bansal? Did I say that correctly? Rather than give us an elaborate presentation, could you please just give us the key points of your data collection? There seems to be something wrong with the projector anyway.’

  What! The projector wasn’t working now?

  Everyone was staring at me.

  I hadn’t written down anything, as all my data and key points were on a pen drive.

  ‘Uh. Okay. Sure, sir. We can do that,’ I stammered.

  My breathing had turned shallow.

  This is what I’d been afraid of. I didn’t want to freeze in front of the partners.

  Everyone was still looking expectantly at me.

  ‘Well? Naina?’ Jack barked.

  I opened my mouth to say something, but it was as if my memory had been wiped clean of everything. I couldn’t remember a single thing relevant to my research.

  ‘Unilever…’ I cleared my throat.

  Nainaaa! Noooo!

  ‘Sir, please, excuse me. I think I’m going to be sick.’

  I ran to the nearby restroom and threw up into the toilet.

  Holy fucking shit.

  I had screwed this one up royally.

  …

  I knocked on Jack’s door.

  ‘Sir? May I come in?’ My voice was super squeaky.

  It had taken all my courage to come to Jack’s office. But, I wanted to get this over with now, rather than tomorrow.

  ‘Yes,’ Jack answered.

  When he saw it was me, his entire expression soured.