Hella

by David Gerrold

  As I stood up, I glanced to the back of the room. Captain Skyler waited there. I didn’t know how long he had been standing, but he must have been there for a while. As the Councilor and his daughter strode out, they both gave him an angry look. Beside me, Jamie laughed—a little too loudly. “Captain Skyler wins this round.”

  “Huh?”

  Mom said, “You heard the Commander. Mr. Layton can’t call for a vote on any of his resolutions until Marley completes her community service. Five hundred hours? She’ll be out of circuit for a year. Maybe longer. The way she acts—she’ll pull another five hundred hours of penalties. Maybe I should start a betting pool. Either way, the Cascade will have downloaded her colonists long before then, and the whole political spectrum will have rearranged itself.”

  “As long as she leaves me alone, that’s all I care about. I’m hungry. Can we go to the caf?”

  “Not yet,” said Mom. “There’s another piece of business. Captain Skyler wants us here.”

  “Okay.” I sat back down.

  When the committee reconvened, the mood was a lot more relaxed. Commander Nazzir looked at Captain Skyler. “Captain, we appreciate your taking the time to make a personal appearance. We know you have a very busy schedule—even more complicated now with the impending arrival of the Cascade. I see that your petition addresses one part of that, so we’d like to hear from you now.”

  “Thank you, Commander. I genuinely appreciate your making time for me in today’s agenda. I think you’ll find this useful.”

  “It’s our privilege to have you here, Captain. Please proceed.”

  “Thank you. The petition in front of you asks that you add Kyle Martin to the Cascade Liaison Team.”

  “Huh?” I said. “Me?”

  “Shh,” said Jamie, tapping my knee. He was grinning broadly.

  Captain Skyler continued. “The petition is quite thorough, but I want to add my personal endorsement. Young Mr. Martin has an extraordinary ability to observe and report and share what he has seen. That was why I added him to my most recent drive-around, because with his fresh eyes, I believed he would be the one most likely to discover something that the rest of us might overlook.”

  He glanced at Mom and me, flashed us a smile, then turned forward again. “Very shortly, we will have twelve hundred new colonists, the largest pilgrimage ever. Bringing them up to speed, training them, assimilating them into our culture, and also recognizing the unique values that they will bring and contribute—we’ll need to give them as much hands-on information as possible to prepare them for the challenges of this world. Young Mr. Martin has an amazing focus of attention and would be an enormous asset, perfect for this task. I’ve known him for years, watched him grow, and I’ve had the privilege of having him on a mission team. He’s certainly qualified, and I recommend whatever certifications you deem appropriate.”

  “Thank you, Captain. Is there anyone else who’d like to speak to this petition?”

  Mom looked like she wanted to say something, but she just shook her head once.

  “Is there anyone who opposes this petition and would like to speak against it?”

  Captain Skyler turned around and studied the room. Councilor Layton had already left, and if there was anyone else who might challenge the Captain, they kept their hands in their laps.

  “All right, thank you, Captain. We will take this under consideration. We’ll want to interview the candidate, of course, but we should be able to make a decision before our next meeting. Thank you for your insights. Now, in the matter of . . . .”

  * * *

  —

  That night, Captain Skyler came to second supper, the last big meal of the day. We ate at home instead of the cafeteria. Jamie and I looked at each other like we expected something important to happen, like there was something maybe he and Mom wanted to tell us, but neither of them said anything, so we just enjoyed our omelets. Mom had a new recipe she wanted to try out, this time using mushrooms and onions and Hella-peppers, which were sweet more than spicy, something that surprised everyone, especially the biologists who insisted that sugar-rich fruits shouldn’t have evolved here yet, but they were making the mistake of assuming that Hellan evolution had to parallel Earth’s, which it hadn’t and wouldn’t and couldn’t and shouldn’t, for more reasons than anyone could list in a single conversation.

  We nattered about the events of the morning for a while. Mom was satisfied it had all worked out so well, to which Captain Skyler replied that we shouldn’t ever get over-confident. The Layton family was known for holding grudges. But he wouldn’t say anything more about that. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.” Instead, he talked about my upcoming interview with the committee. It hadn’t been scheduled yet, but he wanted to start coaching me right away on what to say and what not to say. It was that important.

  We were halfway through dessert when the door chimed. I got up to answer it. Councilor Layton and one of his wives, the big one, stood there. “Hello, Kyle,” he said. “I’d like to speak to Captain Skyler. The locater says he’s here.”

  “What is it, Councilor?” The Captain had come up behind me. Mom was behind him.

  “May we come in?”

  The Captain looked to Mom. She nodded. The Captain stepped aside to admit them.

  Mom said, “Would you like some tea?” To me, she said, “Kyle, clear the table.”

  “But I haven’t finished my pudding—”

  “Please—” Councilor Layton interrupted. “Don’t go to any trouble on our behalf.”

  “No,” said Mom. “I insist. You are guests in my home. Come in, sit down. I’ll put up the kettle. Kyle, finish your pudding in the kitchen. Jamie, can you help Kyle?”

  I was frustrated. This wasn’t right. I wanted to finish my pudding. I could feel the upset building inside me, but Jamie put his hand on my shoulder and whispered, “You can have the rest of mine too if you don’t say anything else.”

  Deal.

  The Councilor and his wife sat on the couch in uncomfortable silence while everybody else bustled around. Captain Skyler sat down opposite them. Mom made tea, Jamie filled a plate with biscuits, I loaded the dishwasher. Eventually, everything was sorted out. I put the unfinished pudding in the fridge for later, and we all adjourned to the dining room table. I figured this visit must be important, so I turned on the noise. And if I still couldn’t figure it out, Jamie would explain it to me later.

  “This afternoon,” Councilor Layton began. “I went to a caucus meeting. I sat with the people who supported my election to the Council. I offered them my resignation. They refused to accept it. They told me that they have complete confidence in my ability to continue representing them.”

  “So what does that have to do with us?” asked Mom.

  “Simply this. I’m here as your neighbor, as your colleague. And in my capacity as a member of the Council, I’m here to apologize.” He looked around at all of us with a sad expression. “I’m here to apologize to Jamie and to Kyle first. I had no idea Marley had behaved so badly to you. I only had a chance to review all the videos this afternoon, and I was very upset at what I saw. You did not deserve such treatment.”

  To Mom, he said, “And I owe you an even greater apology for not recognizing the seriousness of this issue sooner. I know that you have tried to bring it to my attention more than once and I dismissed it as merely an overprotective reaction to the schoolyard arguments of children. That was wrong of me. I promise you I will never dismiss your concerns so cavalierly in the future. You will have access to my office whenever you need it.”

  He turned to Captain Skyler. “We’ve had our differences in the past, and I expect that we will have differences again in the future. But that does not justify either of us behaving disrespectfully. You should know that I admire and honor your service to the colony, and I hope there will be times when we can find commo
n cause for partnership.”

  Beside him, his wife—the one we called Bruinhilda, because she looks like a big fat bear, but never where she could hear—nodded a stern agreement.

  I didn’t know what to say. Jamie didn’t respond either. I couldn’t tell what Captain Skyler was thinking. Finally, Mom spoke up. She said, “Thank you, Councilor. This whole situation must be very difficult for you. I appreciate that you thought it important enough to apologize in person. May I pour you some tea?” There was something about Mom’s voice, the way she offered to pour the tea. A wise man would have hesitated before drinking it.

  Once the tea was poured all around, she sat back in her chair and said. “There is something I tell my children. I’m sure you have probably heard it yourself many times, but it’s worth repeating here. ‘Sorry’ is not an eraser. It does not magically make everything all right. One of my sons has a broken leg, the other has been ridiculed and embarrassed repeatedly in front of his peers. A broken leg is part of growing up. It will heal and Jamie will be on the soccer field again before the season is over. But as for Kyle. Well, you said some very ugly things about him. You said them where he could hear, as if he had no right to his feelings. I say it bluntly, that hurt is not going to go away quite so easily.”

  Councilor Layton nodded. “I understand.”

  “No, you don’t. Please let me finish. I have no power or authority to compel you to do anything. I can only request. But I do hope that with your apology, you will also bring a sense of obligation to make some form of reparation to my son.”

  The Councilor hesitated. “I would certainly consider any request you might make . . .” He trailed off uncertainly.

  “Thank you. This morning, we put a petition before the Personnel Committee, asking them to appoint Kyle to the Cascade Liaison Team. Perhaps you would consider endorsing that petition?”

  Councilor Layton looked at his wife. She gave an almost imperceptible nod. He looked back at Mom. “I know about the petition, I haven’t seen it yet. I’ll have to review it before I can make any commitment. Of course, you understand that as an elected representative everything I do must be weighed against its value to the colony.”

  “The value to the colony is obvious here, Councilor. And your endorsement would carry a lot of weight in front of the committee. And it goes without saying that it would go a long way toward making things better for both of our families. It would ease tensions all around. And we all want that.”

  “Your points are well taken, Mz. Martin. I promise you that I will review this with . . . with my staff to make sure there will be no unintended consequences. If everything is in order, as I’m sure it must be—the Captain having helped write the petition—then it would certainly be appropriate for me to lend my support and, as you say, it would make things better for all of us.” He took a sip of tea. “This is very good tea, thank you.”

  * * *

  —

  Mom closed the door behind them, turned around and looked at the Captain. “Well that was unexpected. And very generous. Why are you frowning?”

  Captain Skyler looked unhappy. “I’m frowning because if my face showed what I was really thinking, it would explode. Those people have just shown themselves to be so much more vicious and vindictive than I ever allowed myself to believe, I feel like vomiting. And I’m even more upset with myself for being vicious and vindictive enough to recognize what they’re up to.”

  “You didn’t say a word the whole visit—”

  “Because the whole time, I had to keep reminding myself that yes, I am descended from killer apes, but no, today I am not going to kill. Be grateful that I have that much self-control.”

  “Okay,” said Mom. She folded her arms. “Explain it to me.”

  “He played you,” said Captain Skyler. “Oh, he made all the right noises of apology and all the official-sounding noises about having to review the petition, blah blah blah, because that’s what a politician is supposed to say, that he’s going to give it careful consideration and all the rest of the blah blah blah that makes him look good before he says no, I don’t think so.”

  Captain Skyler looked at me, looked at Jamie. Even I could see that he didn’t want to say the rest. Not in front of us. He took Mom’s hands, drew her close. “Sweetheart, you are very important to me. So are your sons. If I’m more protective than I should be, then I’m sorry. You are a marvelous scientist. You are one of the most dedicated human beings I have ever known. And you’re brilliant. And—”

  He didn’t get to say the rest. Mom stopped him with two fingers placed gently against his mouth, “Yes, I know. I’m the smartest woman on the planet. So what? What is it you don’t want to say.”

  “All right,” said Skyler. “Let’s have the talk. Everybody sit down. Jamie, watch your leg. And put away that damn tea. This deserves coffee.”

  While we waited for the coffee to brew, the Captain explained. “I was watching—what do you kids call her?—Bruinhilda. How appropriate. Did you notice that her lips never moved the whole time Layton was talking? And both her hands remained quietly folded in her lap. He even spoke while she drank tea. I’ve never see a ventriloquist that good. She’s very good.”

  Mom’s eyes widened.

  “That’s right. Layton is not allowed off the leash. He’s never had a thought of his own. Everything he says, everything he does, it’s decided beforehand by the troika of witches that run that family. I’ve suspected it for a long time, ever since they fabbed that big black cauldron—but I didn’t know for sure until today.” He stopped himself. “All right, maybe I exaggerate. Maybe he can still take a piss without someone else having to hold his . . . uh, hand, but this—”

  “This what? I’m sorry, Cord, I really don’t understand.”

  “All right, all right.” He slowed down. He stopped himself. He took a breath. “You want to know why Marley acts the way she does—especially toward Kyle? She learned it at home. She’s just imitating the behavior she sees from her mothers. That’s why there’s no discipline there. They approve of her behavior.”

  Abruptly, he turned to me. “Kyle, I love you—like you’re my own son, do you know that?”

  I nodded, a little confused.

  “So this is very hard for me to say, but I think you’re old enough to understand. And I think it’s important for you to hear.”

  “Okay . . .”

  He swallowed hard. “You know, you’re not easy to like.”

  “I know that.”

  “You don’t have a lot of people who understand you. So you don’t have a lot of friends. It’s hard work being your friend.”

  “I know. Because I’m different.”

  “Yes. And it’s a good difference. Your Mom knows that. Jamie knows that. I know it. Lilla-Jack knows it. A lot of other people know it too. But not everybody. And you need to know what you’re up against.” He turned to Mom. “Councilor Layton will endorse your petition. They want Kyle on the Liaison Team.” He turned back to me. “They don’t understand you. They think there’s something wrong with you. So they think you’ll fail. They want you to fail. They expect you to alienate the new colonists.”

  “Oh, Cord, he won’t do that.”

  “He can’t help himself, Dora. It’s not his fault, it’s the way he is. Kyle is Kyle. People put up with him, but that doesn’t mean they like him. He makes people uncomfortable, the meticulous way he speaks, the way he focuses on the details that bore the shit out of most people, the way he . . . everything. I had a fight with my own team, just getting him on my drive-around.” Back to me again. “Kyle, you need to know this. You need to know what’s at stake. If you don’t want to be on the Liaison team—”

  “But I do!”

  Jamie looked angry now. “He’ll do great!”

  Captain Skyler said, “I’m sure he will. But you all need to know this. They want to use Kyle as thei
r primary argument to pass the Genetic Purity Resolution. They don’t care if they have to wait an extra year or two, they’re thinking long-term control over the whole colony and they’ll use whatever tactic they think will work for them.”

  Mom’s expression got hard. Jamie put a hand on my shoulder. I didn’t know what to think. This was the Captain.

  “Cord—I think this conversation is over.”

  “Dora, listen to me. Remember that old saying? ‘The truth will set you free, but first it’s gonna piss you off.’ I didn’t say any of this to hurt you. Certainly not Kyle.”

  Mom was standing. “No, Cord, of course not. But you’re overthinking this to the point of paranoia. And the one thing I know about paranoia is that it’s infectious. I think you should go now. Kyle didn’t need to hear you say those things. And I’m appalled to know that you think them. No, just go. Just go now. Don’t say anything else.”

  The door whooshed shut behind the Captain, and we were alone. Mom ran to her room, crying. Jamie and I looked at each other. He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close. He must have needed that hug, so I let him.

  We never did get to the coffee.

  * * *

  —

  The next couple of days were confusing. And hard for all of us. Lilla-Jack came by to coach me on what to say for my interview, so we knew that Captain Skyler still cared, but as far as I could tell, he and Mom still weren’t talking.