KIRKLAND: A Standalone Romance (Gray Wolf Security)

by Glenna Sinclair

  I didn’t know what to say.

  “You should leave,” Nick said as he watched the two of us from the doorway.

  Mr. James just nodded even as he glanced back at me. Then he left without saying another word.

  Nick stared at me for a long second, then he turned away too, leaving me standing there feeling like the whore of Babylon.

  What the hell did I just do?

  ~~~

  I was waiting for JT when he got home from school that afternoon. I had a speech all planned out in my head. Susan called the shop and told me that she’d given JT a week’s detention. She said he seemed contrite about the whole thing, especially the fact that he would have to miss football practice all week, which meant he wouldn’t be able to play in Friday’s game. I was hoping that meant he’d finally gotten the message and we would be on a better path going forward.

  I could always hope.

  I heard the front door slam. I shut off the television and stood, waiting for JT to come into the living room. He didn’t. He crashed through the entryway and made his way to the back of the house, the door to his bedroom slamming so hard that it rattled every window in the house.

  I followed, somewhat cautiously, taping on the door after a moment’s hesitation.

  “JT?”

  He didn’t answer at first. But then the door suddenly burst open. His face was red, his eyes puffy almost as if he’d been crying.

  “You had to fucking tell them, didn’t you?”

  “Tell who what?”

  “You know, you’re not my mother. Just because they gave you custody when your parents died, doesn’t mean you have the right to ruin my life!”

  “JT, what are you talking about?”

  “Like you don’t know.”

  He pushed past me, nearly knocking me into the wall, and went into the living room, throwing himself down on the couch hard enough to force it back a few inches. He picked up the remote, but he didn’t turn on the television. He just sat there and stared at it.

  “What’s going on?”

  He turned that dark stare on me, his soft, familiar blue eyes looking right through me like laser beams in a bad sci-fi movie.

  “Coach cut me from the football team. Said I set a poor example for the rest of the team, showed poor sportsmanship by getting arrested in the team jersey, and I no longer deserved to wear it.”

  The air seemed to burst out of my lungs. I pressed a hand to the center of my chest and stared at my brother. That was not what I thought would happen when I told Susan about his arrest.

  “JT, I had no idea he would do that.”

  “But you called the principal. What did you think would happen?”

  “Not that.”

  “Football was all I had. And now that’s gone, too.”

  I sat beside him and tried to take his hand, but he pulled away.

  “I’ll go talk to your coach.”

  “Please don’t. You’ve already done enough.”

  “But maybe if I—“

  “Don’t you get it, Penny? You’ve already destroyed my life! Why would you want to make it worse than you already have?”

  He jumped off the couch. “My parents didn’t want me. The parents that did want me, died. And now you…you’re destroying everything that matters to me. Do you really hate me that much?”

  “It’s not like that.”

  “Why don’t you just go back to New York and leave me alone? I’m better off without you, anyway.”

  He turned and a second later I heard the front door shutter in its frame. I wanted to go after him, but what could I say to that? He wasn’t completely wrong. I had done this. If I had known calling Susan would lead to this, I never would have…at least, I liked to think I wouldn’t have. Would I have? Maybe I was just that frustrated with him. Maybe I had, in the back of my mind, known what would happen. Maybe I wanted it to happen. Maybe I was that desperate to get JT to be more like the boy he was when I left for New York, the happy ten year old who followed me around like a lost puppy instead of this angry, bitter teenager who went out of his way to make my life complicated.

  Was I really fit to be a guardian? Was I doing anyone any favors trying to make this work? Had I already messed up too badly to fix things?

  So many questions. And it seemed like I had absolutely no answers.

  ~~~

  I waited three hours for JT to come home. Then I began calling all his friends. Someone had to know where he was, right? It was a small town. After five hours, I began to have all these thoughts—JT in a hospital somewhere, unable to speak with no idea to identify him, JT drinking and doing some dangerous drugs in someone’s dark basement, JT becoming road kill in a terrible accident on the highway—that sent panic shivering through my body like an epileptic seizure.

  I needed help. I would normally call Nick, but he hadn’t spoken two words to me all day after catching me with Mr. James. And Susan was in the city with her family, celebrating her daughter’s fifth birthday. There were others I could call, but each one came with complications, such as the cop who arrested JT who had promised the next time he caught him doing something that reckless, he would book him for sure. I didn’t know what to do.

  I got in the car and drove up and down the long, wide streets of our little town. It was dark, nearly curfew. Few people were out and those who were, were old enough to be on their way to the nightshift at the local grocery warehouse. I was about ready to start knocking on doors when I happened to remember Mr. James’ card. I’d stuck it in my phone case just because I happened to pick up my phone just after he gave it to me. I pulled to the side of the road and popped it out.

  What did I have to lose?

  Chapter 6

  Harrison

  Her voice on the other end of the line was the last thing I had expected. I was lying in bed, watching the end of The Tonight Show when the phone rang. I thought it would be Libby or my mother, forgetting once again about the time difference between Oregon and Texas. But when I mumbled a distracted hello, it was Penelope’s panicked voice that filled my ear.

  “I’m sorry to call so late, but I didn’t know who else to call. So I thought I’d trust that you aren’t out to hurt JT and ask you for help.”

  I sat up, alarms sounding all through my head as I listened to her stumble over her words.

  “What’s going on?”

  “JT and I had a fight and he took off. And now I can’t find him anywhere.”

  “Where are you?”

  “On the corner of Main and Third.”

  “You’re about a block from my place. Stay there and I’ll come find you.”

  I ended the call before she could say anything else, flinging the phone into the center of the bed as I jumped up and pulled on a pair of jeans discarded on the floor of my bedroom and a t-shirt that was sticking out of a drawer in my dresser. I dragged my fingers through my hair, slipped on my tennis shoes, grabbed my phone, and headed out. I found her car pretty easily. It was the only one idling on the side of the road at this hour of the night.

  I tapped on the window and she immediately released the locks, leaning over to open the door.

  “I didn’t know what else to do,” she said as I climbed in, folding my long legs into the tight confines of her little Ford. “He was so upset. I thought he’d come back after a while, but when he didn’t—“

  “Slow down and start at the beginning,” I said, laying my hand over hers where it sat on the steering wheel. “Why was he upset?”

  “The coach kicked him off the team because he was still wearing his jersey when he was arrested.”

  I nodded even as something inside my stomach sank like a stone in the river. Football was everything to JT. Even just observing him in my English class I could see that. To lose his spot on the team must have been devastating.

  “Have you tried his friends? Called their parents?”

  She nodded. “I’ve tried everyone. And I’ve been driving around for hours, trying to
spot him on the street. I even drove to the neighboring towns, thinking he might have walked to one of them, just to worry me. But I can’t find him.”

  Panic was creeping into her voice once again. I picked up her hand and pulled it into my lap, pressing it against my thigh to try to calm her with the pressure of my touch. She wouldn’t look at me. And her chin trembled like Libby’s often did right before she began to sob. I really didn’t want her to start crying. But I was at a loss for what to do to stop it.

  “What about this Sean kid? Wasn’t he at his house on Friday night?”

  “They’re best friends. But I already called over there and his mom insists JT’s not there.”

  “Are you sure she would know if he was?”

  Penelope hesitated before she answered. “She’s a single mom who works three jobs. I think she was on her way to her nurse’s aide job when I called her.”

  “So Sean’s home alone?”

  She nodded as she tugged her hand from my grip and put the car into gear. We were pulling to the curb in front of a duplex moments later. She pointed to one whose windows were ablaze with light.

  “That’s Sean’s house.”

  “Is there anyone living on the other side?”

  She shook her head. “Not right now.”

  I got out of the car and went up to the front of the building, peering through the sheer curtains on the front windows. I could see two heads hunched down on a cheap couch and the violent scene of a video game playing out on the television screen. One of the heads was blond, the other dark. If I had to guess, I would have said with ninety percent certainty that the dark head was JT, but I wanted to be sure.

  I pounded on the front door and watched as the two boys jumped up off the couch, the light suddenly going out even though the television still flickered, illuminating the room as one boy ran to the back of the house and the other stood uncertainly in the living room.

  “I know you’re in there, JT. Come out and tell your sister you’re still alive and well.”

  Still the boy in the living room hesitated. Then he turned and I watched as a whispered argument took place between the two kids. Then, slowly, the second figure returned to the living room and approached the front door.

  JT yanked over the door and stared at me like he had expected someone totally different.

  “Mr. James?”

  “Do you know how worried your sister’s been about you?” I asked, grabbing his arm and pulling him out the door before he had a chance to turn and disappear back inside. “She’s been searching all over town for you for hours.”

  The boy was respectful enough to look a little shamed. He stared at the ground for a minute before his gaze shot out past me to the car sitting at the curb. He pulled free of my touch and walked out there, falling into Penelope’s embrace where she stood waiting against the front fender.

  I stayed where I was, trying to give them a little space. I could hear a few words: sorry…didn’t mean it…I understand…

  I was curious what else happened between them today. I understood that JT was hurt by what the coach had done and that he would blame Penelope, especially if he knew that she was the one who notified the school. But it seemed like there was more to it. Once again, I watched them standing together, saw the deep affection that existed between them, and wondered how much damage my presence in this town was already doing to their relationship, to my son’s peace of mind.

  But he was my son. Didn’t that mean anything?

  Penelope looked up, relief and gratefulness so clear in her eyes that it spoke to something deep inside of me that wanted to respond in some meaningful way. What was it about that woman that was getting under my skin?

  I’d kissed her. I hadn’t planned on it. She was accusing me of dark and stupid things, and I was about to tell her the truth when she tried to push me away and I grabbed her wrists and…one thing led to another and it seemed perfectly natural to kiss her. Or to force myself on her. I guess that was what I’d done. And I don’t know why. I’ve never had to force myself on a woman once in my entire life. Women flocked to me. I never wanted for a date, never had to go searching for a woman when I wanted one. I have never done what I did today. There was just something about Penelope that drove all sense out of my head.

  And, right now, right as she made amends with my biological child, all I could think about was going over there and pulling her into my arms all over again.

  I had to physically turn away to keep from going to her.

  They came walking up to the house a minute later, their arms around each other’s waist.

  “JT’s going to spend the night here since it’s already so late.”

  I looked up, aware of the defiance in her eyes that was so much like the expression that radiated from JT’s eyes. I shrugged, stepping out of the way so that JT could duck back into the house.

  “But if you miss any of your classes tomorrow, or sleep through one, you’re grounded,” Penelope yelled in after him.

  “Yes, ma’am,” JT called back.

  “We were actually on the way to bed,” Sean said, poking his head out the door from an awkward angle. “Please don’t tell my mom what time you came over?”

  I almost laughed, but caught myself just in time.

  “As long as you make an appearance in homeroom.”

  “Yes, sir,” Sean said.

  We said our goodnights and waited until we heard the front door lock and saw the television go off before we turned back to her car. Penelope leaned against the front fender again, pressing both hands to her face.

  “Sean’s mom didn’t know he was there. Sean hid him out in his bedroom until she left for work.”

  “That’s why she told you she hadn’t seen him.”

  She nodded, peeking out from behind her fingers. “Is it possible to love someone so much that you want to kill them and hug them to death all at the same time?”

  “Definitely.”

  She dropped her hands and studied her shoes as she kicked at a loose piece of concrete on the sidewalk. “I guess you think I’m the worst guardian ever.”

  “I think you’re a woman who’s in way over her head.”

  “Maybe you were right the first time. Maybe someone should call child protective services on me.”

  “I only said that because I was frustrated.”

  She looked up at me and I realized there were tears in her eyes. I wanted to touch her, to make it all better. But there was still this thing between us, this wall that I wasn’t sure I could climb over just yet.

  She turned away and climbed into the car without saying another word.

  We drove across town, but instead of taking me home, she pulled into her own driveway.

  “I guess the least I owe you is a drink,” she said without looking at me.

  “You don’t owe me anything. In fact, I think I owe you an explanation.”

  She didn’t seem to hear me. She climbed out of the car and walked to the front porch, leaving the door open after she let herself inside. I tried not to seem too eager as I unfolded my long legs from her little car and followed.

  She was in the kitchen—the incredibly clean and well-appointed kitchen—pouring a healthy slug from a bottle of ten year old scotch.

  “A souvenir from my dad’s collection,” she said, holding the label up where I could see it. “He was something of an alcohol enthusiast.”

  “He knew good scotch.”

  She nodded. “He also had very expensive tastes.”

  She handed me a glass and sipped at her own. I swirled the amber liquid in the glass, looking at it in the light the way my father had taught me to do. I’d never really gotten the point to it, but it seemed to impress people. However, Penelope didn’t even seem to notice.

  “I owe you an apology,” she said softly. “I shouldn’t have said those things at the bakery earlier today. I know you just care about what happens to JT.”

  “That’s what I wanted to explain to you,”
I said, setting down my glass without taking a single sip. “There are things about me—“

  “I guess I’m still too much of a small town girl,” she interrupted, a sadness to her voice that drowned out my thoughts. “I thought I was a big city gal; that I could survive in New York City like I’d always dreamed of doing. But the truth is, I thrived in this town. This is the only place I’ve ever really felt like I belonged.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

  “Then why does it feel like a finality? Like I’ve already reached all the goals I will ever have to aspire to?” She took another sip of her scotch, wincing as the strong liquor touched her throat. “This isn’t the life JT should be stuck with.”

  That was something she and I agreed on.

  “He’s talented on the football field. He could get a scholarship to a good college.”

  She nodded. “If the coach will let him back on the team next year.”

  “Maybe if I talk to him…?”

  She sighed. “I’m sorry. I meant for this to be a sort of thank you. And here I am moaning about my worries.”

  “It’s honorable to be so concerned for your brother.”

  “Is it?” She studied my face a moment. “I know absolutely nothing about you. Just that you’re an English teacher and you take an unusual interest in your students. I don’t even know your first name.”