Evergreen (Book 4): Nuclear Summer

by Cox, Matthew S.

  “What?” asked Logan.

  “Hmm?” She glanced at him.

  “You tensed up and kinda gasped a little.”

  “Oh… just being stupid.” She tossed her head to get hair out of her face. “For a sec, I kinda freaked out over not finishing some papers I had to write.”

  He chuckled.

  “Hard to process it’s been as long as it has. One day I went to school, the next we hid in our basement while everything went crazy.” Harper traced her fingers over the lockers as they walked. “I could totally just resume going back to school like it had only been a week or two.”

  “Dunno about going back, but yeah… doesn’t feel that long.”

  “Sorry about your sister.”

  Logan let out a long sigh. “Thanks. I guess I’ve accepted it as much as anyone can. Not sure where my head would be if I hadn’t met you.”

  She squeezed his hand. Having Madison to protect kept her focused on something beyond grief, but no matter how much she loved her little sister, she would never be able to confide in her the same way she could to a parent or an equal. While sitting beside his hospital bed, she’d told Logan things she hadn’t even been able to say to Cliff. They’d spent hours together talking. He’d helped her process the loss of her parents and friends enough that she could even talk about her mother and father without wanting to cry anymore. Not knowing what happened to her friends Andrea, Veronica, and Christina made it worse, but also let her hope they survived.

  “This place is creepy.” Harper looked up at the ceiling. “So quiet.”

  “No different than being here after hours.”

  She grinned. “You got detention a lot?”

  “Nah. Hockey practice. I think schools always seem unnaturally quiet when they’re empty because they’re so loud normally. Like the cafeteria at my school, I had to shout to talk to Jason sitting right next to me.”

  “Mine wasn’t quite that bad.” Harper leaned closer to him, figuring talking about his friends from school would ruin his mood. “We used to sit way in the back corner though, so maybe it didn’t get so loud there.”

  Their sneakers squeaked, echoing down the vast empty corridor. With the exception of a layer of dust, the school hadn’t changed all that much in the aftermath. Here and there, signs of catastrophe appeared in the form of a drink bottle, blanket, or random personal item left on the floor. But, for the most part, the place looked as though classes might resume at the end of summer.

  She expected to find a refugee camp in the gym, but upon reaching it, blinked in shock at the surprising normality. The room didn’t contain rows of sleeping bags or cots, abandoned by survivors when the Army whisked them away. Because Evergreen avoided the worst effects of a nearby blast, all its buildings remaining intact and uncontaminated, people didn’t need to abandon their homes here like they would have in Lakewood. A six-foot hole in the roof tended to ruin a place. By now, her old home had to be a moldy disaster.

  “Wow…” Harper’s voice echoed in the gym. She gazed up at a ceiling crisscrossed by exposed metal beams bedecked with lights, extra basketball hoops retracted up, and a bunch of team pennants. “It’s so damn normal here. Like all the kids and teachers and janitors and whatever could just show up in the morning and keep going like none of this ever happened.”

  Logan raked his hair off his face—it had gotten kind of long—and gazed around. “Yeah. It’s sad in a way, but also kind of hopeful.”

  “Hopeful?” She wandered across the dusty, polished floor to a stack of blue padded mats. “Think the town will get big enough again to need two schools?”

  He sat on the pads, tugging at her arm until she joined him. “Maybe, but even if they never use this as a school again, it’s like a museum of what we used to have. This place survived, so others had to. People have this stuff to remember. We’ll eventually get back to the way it used to be.”

  “Think so?” Harper gripped the edge of the pad on either side of her legs.

  Logan put an arm around her shoulders. “Yeah. I do. It might not come out exactly the same as the world we grew up in, but there’s a much better chance the future’s going to be civilized than we go full Mad Max.”

  “How can you be so sure?” She smiled at him, liking the thought the world might not be completely ruined forever, but wanting to tease him a little.

  “Simple. There’s no gasoline.” He laughed. “Can’t drive around the desert attacking people when all the gas is rotten. Maybe they’ll use skateboards.”

  Harper laughed. “All those post-nuke movies, everything’s so blasted-out and broken. It’s weird seeing this school look like this.”

  “Those movies are usually set like fifty or a hundred years after the bombs. I guess stuff might fall apart if it’s abandoned long enough, but you gotta think the directors making those movies want to make it look as unlike real life as possible for the story.”

  “Yeah. That makes sense.”

  “You know, since the oil industry is pretty much gone, the new society might be all about wind power. I’m not sure how many scientists are still around, but if you think about it… humanity got to where it did once. They didn’t understand superconductors and stuff in the 1800s. We’ve got a massive head start.”

  “I guess.” She peered up at motion that caught her eye, a sports jersey hung from the rafters. Number 03 with the name Baker. “How good does a high school kid have to be to get their number retired?”

  Logan snickered. “Probably set some kind of record or something. Maybe helped them win a tournament some year.”

  “This feels like we’ve stepped into a different world. It’s what we knew before, but it’s become alien. That’s so weird. Guess I’ve gotten used to having to literally fight for survival.”

  “Yeah. People freaked out, trying to deal with what happened. I think now that the shock has worn off, mostly they’re going to focus on putting things back together.”

  Harper leaned against him. “Not everyone. Lawless… there’s gotta be other gangs out there like that. Criminals.”

  “Not everyone in jail is a psycho. Look at Deacon. Some prisons were full of people who got caught carrying pot. We’ve always had criminals. They’re gonna be a problem until we’ve got real cops again.”

  “I’m not a real cop?” She stuck her tongue out at him.

  Logan fidgeted. “You know what I mean. Organized cops with computers and radios and stuff, the force of a state government behind them.”

  “Yeah.” She looked down at her stomach, full of butterflies.

  For a few minutes, they sat there alone in silence, surrounded by the vastness of an empty high school gymnasium. She thought about her friends Darci and Veronica. Both of them claimed to have done it at school. Darci under the bleachers and Veronica in the principal’s office—after hours of course. However, Veronica’s story sounded too wild to be true. She might have been merely trying to one-up Darci.

  Silence eventually gave way to eye contact.

  Being in the gym felt far too normal. It didn’t take much effort for her to pretend the world hadn’t exploded and she’d snuck into school after hours to find a private spot where no one would catch them. Each minute that passed pushed the horror of nuclear war further from her mind, her immediate reality morphing into a fantasy that nothing had really changed. For this brief moment, she’d become giddy with anticipation for what could happen between them at any minute.

  Logan’s ‘you wanna?’ expression made her smile. She leaned in to kiss him. The butterflies swarming around in her gut doubled in size and fury. He kissed her back, the touch of his lips on hers firing electrical sparks throughout her body. Caught up in the moment, Harper made out with him in earnest, pushing him over onto his back and climbing on top.

  His hands roamed and caressed her through her clothes. She mostly held onto his shoulders, too inexperienced and hesitant to do much else. The stuff they’d talked about while he lay in the hospital, all the sorrow and
loneliness and worry she’d confided in him had left her exposed. He’d been in a similar headspace, having lost his entire family and all his friends. Harper pictured it as them both pulling their chests open to reveal a glowing magical core or something like in the books she read. Logan reached inside her emotionally and gently caressed the most vulnerable part of her being, protecting and embracing it. She’d done the same for him.

  At first, she slid down that emotional hill, fighting every step of the way not to let herself end up in a position to be destroyed all over again. She didn’t fear Logan deliberately hurting her as much as the world taking him away. Nearly losing him during the farm raid proved she’d already gone well past that point.

  No regrets. If I’m going to lose him, I’m going to love the time we have together as much as I can.

  Caught in the moment, she came up for air and peeled her T-shirt off. Logan removed his as well. She hadn’t thought much of not having a bra in a post-nuclear society until the moment it hit her that Logan saw her topless. His loving smile embarrassed her, but not as much as realizing she didn’t mind him seeing her. Worse, she liked it.

  What would Follows Rules Girl say?

  Somewhere, she and Introvert Prime recoiled in horror as Harper lowered herself to kiss Logan again, nothing but a layer of warm sweat between their skin above the waist. Eventually, she propped herself up and stared down through a tunnel of red hair at his dazed smile. He reached up to touch her chest, but hesitated, his fingers an inch away.

  “Is this okay?” whispered Logan.

  “I’ve never done anything more than kiss a boy before.” She bit her lip. “You’re the first guy to see them… who didn’t laugh.”

  “They are perfect, just like you.” He looked her in the eye, his expression a mix of love and seriousness. “You are the reason I keep going.”

  “That’s a lot of responsibility.” She bowed her head. “I hope I’m worthy of it.”

  “You are.” He brushed a hand over her cheek. “I hope I’m good enough for you.”

  Happy tears gathered in her eyes. “You are.”

  She took his hand in both of hers and gently put it over her left breast. A boy touching her there sent tingles into weird places.

  “You’re nervous.”

  “A little. Never did this before. But… I like it.” She let go of his hand, letting her arms hang limp at her sides.

  Logan didn’t seem entirely to know what to do, but after holding her breast for a moment, decided to brush his thumb back and forth over her nipple.

  Harper shivered at the tingles shooting deep into her body.

  “Still okay? Whatever you’re comfortable with. Not gonna demand you do anything you don’t want to.”

  For most of her life, Harper had daydreamed about some mythical ‘perfect’ first time. Sometimes, that meant a fairy tale impossible wedding came first. Others, it would follow meeting a guy who she’d know to be the one for her. Meeting Logan hadn’t zapped her with the instant lightning bolt of total adoring love like from a fantasy novel, but the feelings she had for him now came pretty darn close… only it had taken months to get there rather than an instant.

  Doing it in a high school gym felt kinda sleazy and cheap, something that would turn her into the sort of girl the other kids at school spoke of in whispers or made odd faces at when they thought she couldn’t see them. However, this moment didn’t feel cheap at all. They hadn’t truly ‘snuck around’ to break any rules. This building didn’t even count as a high school anymore. No such thing existed anywhere in the USA—at least as far as she guessed. Either one of them could die tomorrow.

  Any chance of meeting the perfect guy and having the perfect wedding where a thousand guests attended a big reception, party, and honeymoon had gone up in smoke as had most of the country. ‘Married’ now only went as far as two people deciding to consider themselves a couple.

  “Yes. It’s okay. I’ll let you know if it isn’t.” Shaking from excitement, apprehension, and that wonderful feeling of getting away with something she probably shouldn’t do, Harper kicked her sneakers off, then opened her belt.

  Logan’s eyes widened to saucers as she pushed her jeans down over her hips and sprawled there beside him wearing only panties. “You’ve got me at a disadvantage…”

  “Oh?” She raised an eyebrow.

  “I’m not wearing underwear.”

  Harper blushed, but smiled. “I don’t have to be. Up to you.”

  His astonished, joyful expression sent a wave of warmth over her chest. Nervously, he opened his belt and wriggled out of his jeans and sneakers. Soon, he sat there wearing only socks. Harper stared at his rather obvious sign of excitement. Other than a few pictures her friends sent her as jokes, she’d never seen one for real before. Like a snake mesmerized by a flute, she stared at it while her hands moved as if of their own accord, slipping her panties off.

  “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen… inside as well as outside.” Logan slid closer, grasping her shoulders as if afraid to really touch her while both of them were naked.

  Harper leaned into him, pushing him over backward and laying half on top, half beside him. She trembled from nerves and excitement, but couldn’t stop smiling. What am I waiting for? Dammit, I love him… Getting pregnant could kill her, but that thought barely registered in her mind besides how badly it hurt to see him get shot. If she kept denying her feelings for him, she would feel ten times worse if anything happened.

  “Logan, you’re the only boy I’ve ever felt like this about. When you got shot, I…”

  He kissed her for a long moment. “I didn’t really like that either.”

  She chuckled into the crook of his neck. Having her everything pressed against his everything, skin on skin, stirred feelings deep inside her she’d never known before—and they excited her. “We’re right out here in the open where anyone could see us.”

  “Yeah. But no one’s going to walk in here.”

  Harper blushed, despite laughing. “I’m not sure I’d care if they did. I want the whole world to know I love you.”

  “Are you sure this is what you want?”

  “I am.” She smiled, running a hand over his chest. “Let’s see where this goes.”

  5

  Slacker Life

  Monday morning saw Harper escorting the kids to the farm, then heading east to the residential neighborhood that had become her territory. She’d spent a surprising amount of time with Logan Saturday and Sunday, though they didn’t come close to repeating what happened in the gym. He hadn’t been prepared for the blood. Harper knew it would happen, but the pain turned out to be worse than she expected. Could be that redhead pain tolerance thing. In the moment, it hadn’t been too bad, but the stinging afterward plus bleeding sent her to see Tegan at the medical clinic.

  Being given birth control pills had been strange. Not only because—to her astonishment—the clinic actually had some, but simply for the odd normality of it. Tegan said she’d be sore for a couple days, and not to worry about it. Though, Harper couldn’t help but worry. The pills helped ease her mind, but if she got pregnant, she feared they’d kick her off the militia.

  Still, those hours she and Logan shared would be forever enshrined in her memory as the happiest time of her life after the bombs. Having gotten past her fear of the first time, she expected they’d be making more happy memories often enough.

  Considering she’d been wearing a near permanent blush ever since, she figured Cliff, Carrie, and Madison knew what happened. If Jonathan did, he hadn’t looked at her or acted in any way that suggested so. Lorelei had no idea what could potentially happen if a boy and girl spent enough time alone together, so she remained oblivious, mistaking Harper’s flushed cheeks for sunburn.

  Perhaps an hour into her patrol, Darci emerged from a side street and trotted over. Seeing that girl in an ordinary T-shirt and jean shorts seemed about as wrong as the sight of a nun in a bikini. The entire time they’d k
nown each other, Darci always dressed goth. The girl rocked black lipstick as young as fifth grade and always wore black clothing in various degrees of frilly. She also rarely wore shoes outside of school or work where she had to, in which case, she put on heavy boots or maybe heels if struck by a ‘fancy goth’ mood.

  Darce probably feels naked without black toenail polish on.

  “Sup,” said Darci, upon falling in step beside her.

  “Not much. Technically working.”

  “Technically lying.” Darci winked. “Not much? Seriously.”

  Harper gave her side eye. “What?”

  “So the princess is no longer a virgin. I’m so happy for you guys.” Darci grinned.

  “Umm. No idea what you’re talking about.” Harper stared at the street ahead, trying to make a hole open so she could jump into it and hide.

  “Wow, your face is the same color as your hair. Guess it’s true. And you are walking a little funny. My first time hurt like a bitch, too.”

  “Ugh. Rumors? Really? Great…” Harper became acutely aware of soreness affecting her stride and tried to conceal it.

  Darci playfully punched her on the shoulder. “Don’t freak out. It’s not like school. No one’s going to tease you. News flash, Harp. We’re adults now. Besides, it’s not like the whole town is talking about you. Renee suspected, and you just confirmed it.”

  Harper stared up at the clouds, wishing her face didn’t have a direct wire going right to her brain so every thought or emotion she had instantly displayed to the world. “It’s not like you’re thinking.”

  “So, what? You guys did butt stuff or something? Trying to keep that technical virginity?”

  “No.” Harper gasped, squirming. “Seriously? Why would you ask that?”

  Darci laughed. “Mostly to get you to make that face. So if it’s not ‘like that,’ what was it like?”