Mud and Gold

by Shayne Parkinson

  He put on his suit and brushed it down. Without thinking, he reached for his battered old felt hat. He caught himself in time and left the hat on its shelf. Today of all days Frank wished he could hide under the broad, floppy brim, but he had to face the world looking his best, and that meant wearing a good hat.

  Ben watched as Frank saddled up Belle and mounted. ‘Good luck,’ he said. ‘You’ll need it.’

  ‘Thanks, Ben.’ Frank turned in the saddle and called back over his shoulder as he rode away. ‘Take care. I’ll see you in a couple of days.’ There was no reply from Ben.

  *

  Lizzie was chased from the parlour and told to stay out of sight when the first guests began to arrive. She and Amy took refuge in Lizzie’s bedroom, from where they could peep through the curtains as buggies pulled up.

  ‘Such a lot of people!’ Amy exclaimed. ‘Who’s Uncle Arthur invited?’

  ‘Everyone,’ Lizzie said with deep satisfaction. ‘Fifty or sixty at least, not counting children. I didn’t tell Frank there’d be so many people, or he really might have been too frightened to turn up. There’ll be lots of presents, eh?’

  ‘Oh, I’m sorry Lizzie, I meant to say earlier—I haven’t got you anything.’

  ‘It doesn’t matter, we’ll get plenty.’

  ‘But I wanted to give you a present. I don’t get into town, you see, and I didn’t like to ask Charlie. I would have made something, except… well, I would have had to ask Charlie to buy me some material or suchlike, and—’

  ‘It doesn’t matter, Amy,’ Lizzie interrupted. ‘Presents are for people who don’t really care about me and Frank, just so’s they can feel good. You don’t need to go giving me things to show you want us to be happy.’

  ‘I do want that. I want you to be happy with Frank—and you will be, I’m sure. You deserve to be.’

  ‘So do you,’ Lizzie said, a look of sadness passing over her face.

  ‘I know what I deserve. Come on, Lizzie, smile again! Brides are meant to look happy.’

  Edie bustled into the room, with Bill close at her heels. ‘Frank’s arrived,’ she announced. ‘He’s sitting in the parlour with your pa, saying hello to everyone. But his brother hasn’t come with him.’

  ‘What? Why not?’

  ‘Frank said he’s gone away for a day or two.’

  ‘But Ben’s meant to be best man!’ Lizzie said. ‘I don’t need a bridesmaid, I didn’t want anyone but Amy, but Frank needs a best man. Who’s going to do that?’

  ‘Don’t worry, Lizzie,’ Bill said, smiling. ‘I’ve told Frank I’ll help him out. He might need someone to hold him up in case he feels faint.’

  ‘What about the ring?’ Lizzie demanded. ‘Frank might have forgotten and left it with Ben.’

  Bill patted his jacket pocket. ‘Frank’s not that silly. I’ve got it right here.’

  ‘Bless me, I nearly forgot,’ Edie said. ‘Your husband’s here, Amy. You’d better go and see him, he’s asking for you. I expect he misses you when you go out.’ She smiled, and Amy wondered if her aunt had managed to forget that there had been anything hasty or unsavoury about Amy’s marriage. She kissed Lizzie and went outside to find Charlie.

  Even with all their borrowed chairs the Leiths could not possibly provide seating for all the guests. Amy found Charlie standing behind the mass of chairs that had been appropriated by the oldest people present.

  ‘You haven’t been waiting long, have you, Charlie?’ she asked. ‘Aunt Edie forgot to tell me you were here.’

  ‘Long enough,’ Charlie grunted, but he did not look any grimmer than usual.

  Amy smiled at her father when she caught his eye. She noticed that Susannah looked somewhat embarrassed at having been classified as needing a seat. But there were chairs left over when all the older folk had been seated, and Susannah recovered her composure when Marion Forster sat next to her. Jane Neill slipped away from her sister’s side, and Amy was not surprised to see her standing beside Harry a small distance from the seated guests.

  People chatted among themselves until there was a small stir and the minister came out of the house onto the verandah, followed by Frank and Bill. Amy was sure Frank’s step faltered when he saw the sea of faces staring at him, but Bill gave him a nudge forward. Mothers gathered up their wandering offspring, and everyone waited expectantly for the bride to appear.

  Lizzie took her time coming. Amy wished Charlie had found a spot in the shade as the sun mounted and the day grew warmer. The heat began to make her feel faint, and her earlier nausea returned. But at last she heard murmurs of appreciation, and Arthur emerged from the house with Lizzie on his arm. He led her over to Frank’s side, and Amy was glad she could see a little of Frank’s face when he turned and saw Lizzie in all her glory. He stared open-mouthed, and gave her a look so full of love that Amy felt tears pricking her eyes.

  Reverend Hill waited for silence, then he began to speak.

  ‘Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God…’

  Amy listened to the words, distracted from her growing discomfort by their gravity.

  ‘… Therefore is not by any to be enterprized, nor taken in hand, unadvisedly, lightly, or wantonly, to satisfy men’s carnal lusts and appetites, like brute beasts that have no understanding…’

  Carnal lusts and appetites. That’s what Charlie wants me for.

  ‘It was ordained for the procreation of children…’

  But I had my baby without being married. I don’t want any more babies now. I only want Ann.

  ‘It was ordained as a remedy against sin, and to avoid fornication…’

  That’s what I did. I sinned and fornicated—I never knew what fornication meant. I was bad. That’s why I wasn’t allowed to keep Ann. That’s why I had to make it right by marrying Charlie. Amy’s upbringing had been too firmly Protestant for her to have even heard of penance, but she would have recognised the concept had it been explained to her.

  ‘It was ordained for the mutual society, help, and comfort, that the one ought to have of the other…’

  Lizzie and Frank will be like that. They’ll be happy together. She cast a sidelong glance at Charlie’s stern face. I must try to make Charlie happy. It’s my duty to.

  Arthur passed Lizzie’s hand to Reverend Hill, and Amy watched Frank take the hand in his. He stared intently at Lizzie as he repeated his vows, so quietly that Amy could only just hear him.

  ‘I Frank take thee Elizabeth to my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.’

  Lizzie took Frank’s hand in a firm grip and spoke in a ringing voice.

  ‘I Elizabeth take thee Frank to my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.’

  I’m glad I didn’t have a church wedding. I couldn’t promise to love Charlie. I have to obey him, of course, and show him proper respect, too. That’s only right, he’s my husband. But I can’t love him. I can’t.

  ‘I pronounce that they be man and wife together, In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.’

  They’re married. Amy saw a radiant smile of triumph spread across Lizzie’s face. She slipped away to go inside and help her aunt.

  After the service the guests invaded Arthur’s house and filled it to overflowing; they spilled out to the broad verandah and even onto the lawn. The mountain of food slowly disappeared, and Edie looked anxious for a while; but it soon became clear that there was plenty for even the greediest of guests and the family would be eating leftovers for days afterwards.

  Amy had snatched the chance of spending a few moments talking with her father and giving Thomas and Georg
e a cuddle, when Harry led Jane over to the family.

  ‘Pa, this is Jane,’ Harry said, shuffling his feet and looking awkward.

  ‘Jane? You’re young Bob Forster’s sister-in-law, aren’t you?’ Jack smiled at Jane but looked puzzled.

  ‘That’s right, Mr Leith.’ Jane flashed a smile. ‘I’ve been staying with Marion all summer, but I have to go home soon.’ She glanced at Harry then looked meaningfully at Susannah. When Harry failed to respond, Jane nudged him with her elbow. ‘You haven’t introduced me to Mrs Leith, Harry.’

  ‘That’s all right, dear,’ Susannah said sweetly. ‘Harry’s just forgotten his manners.’ She smiled at Harry; he scowled back. ‘I’m so pleased to meet you.’ She extended her hand, and Jane shook it.

  ‘Well, anyway, Pa, I wondered if Jane could come around for lunch one day.’

  ‘Lunch? I suppose so—Susannah, do you mind if the girl comes for lunch?’

  ‘Not by herself, Jack.’ Susannah looked a little shocked. ‘You meant with Mr and Mrs Forster, didn’t you, Harry? They’d be most welcome, of course. Perhaps next Sunday?’

  Harry said nothing, but Jane came in quickly. ‘That’s very kind of you, Mrs Leith. I’ll tell my sister you invited us. I’m sure we’ll be able to come.’

  Jack watched as Harry and Jane walked away. ‘Is something going on with those two? Do you know anything about it, Amy?’

  ‘Well, I think they are a bit keen on each other, Pa.’ Harry was obviously no longer trying to keep it a secret. ‘They got to know each other last summer when Jane came to stay.’ When I was falling in love with Jimmy. When I was sinning.

  Jack glanced at John. ‘What are you smirking about?’

  ‘You’ve never noticed, Pa.’ John grinned. ‘All summer Harry’s been taking the milk to the factory and taking half the morning to get home again, and you’ve never even noticed. He’s been visiting Jane!’

  ‘Has he?’ Jack looked thunderstruck. ‘Courting on the sly when he should have been working? The young rascal!’ He laughed. ‘Well, I suppose we’d better get to know the girl. Harry’s too young to think about getting wed for a few years yet, of course, but there’s no harm in him getting friendly.’

  ‘He’s not as young as all that, Jack,’ said Susannah. ‘And he is rather difficult, you know. He might be easier to get along with if he had a wife to calm him down, and I could certainly do with some help around the house.’

  ‘He’s only twenty, Susannah. Don’t talk silly.’ Susannah raised her eyebrows, but said nothing.

  The day wore on, getting hotter as the sun passed the zenith. Lizzie and Frank, along with Lizzie’s family, were photographed in the garden, the session taking hours as every conceivable combination was assembled for portraits. The guests stood around in small groups, the laughter getting more raucous as the men emptied the large barrel of beer Arthur had supplied; the women contented themselves with Edie’s fresh lemonade and ginger beer. Amy was kept busy for much of the day helping her aunt, carrying food out from the kitchen and clearing away plates as they were emptied. The heat inside the house was almost unbearable, but she forced herself to keep going, despite a growing feeling of nausea. She caught a glimpse of Charlie from time to time, standing in a corner of the verandah by himself. In the middle of the afternoon Edie shooed her away.

  ‘You’ll want to go and talk to your husband,’ she said cheerfully. ‘I know what you young brides are like! Anyway, you look all in, dear,’ she added, looking at Amy in some concern. ‘You’re white as a sheet. You go and sit on the verandah, out of this crush.’ She took Amy by the hand and led her outside. ‘Here you go, Charlie, you look after this girl. She wants to get the weight off her feet.’

  Amy was aware that Charlie had been drinking all day in the heat, and that it had not improved his temper. She avoided his eyes and sat beside him in silence, watching Frank and Lizzie as they stood on the lawn under a large jacaranda tree. They made a handsome couple, even though Frank was squirming uncomfortably in his good suit by this time and looking as though he didn’t know where to put his feet. Lizzie had slipped her arm through his and he was holding it in a proprietorial way. Amy smiled at the sight, distracted for the moment from the churning in her stomach.

  Charlie followed her gaze. He bent down and said in a low growl, ‘What are you staring at? Did you fancy young Kelly for yourself, then? Wouldn’t he have you?’ Amy looked at him in shocked disbelief.

  ‘He didn’t want a little slut like you, did he? He’s got a decent woman now, it’s no good you making cow’s eyes at him,’ he snarled; still too softly for the people around them to hear, Amy hoped.

  ‘Please don’t talk like that here, Charlie,’ she said quietly. ‘It’s not fitting.’

  ‘I’ll talk to you however I want,’ he said, raising his voice a little. The group nearest them stopped talking for a moment and stared, then quickly turned away. ‘Don’t you presume to tell me what’s fitting, you little bitch.’

  Amy rose from her seat and went down the verandah steps. Charlie got up and followed her. She slipped around the corner of the house and behind a large lemon tree, which she hoped would hide them from prying eyes. She did not want people gossiping about her any more than could be avoided. To her humiliation, she found the rapid movement had been too much for her nausea. When Charlie walked around the tree she was bent over the ground vomiting.

  ‘What’s wrong with you? Eaten too much rich food?’

  Amy’s body was racked with fierce retching. When the fit passed she got slowly to her feet and turned to face him, wiping a small trail of vomit from her mouth with the back of her hand. She felt weak but relieved. ‘What’s wrong with you?’ Charlie asked again, taking her by the shoulders and shaking her, but not as roughly as she expected.

  Amy looked away from him to the repulsive mess she had left on the ground. This was how low she had been brought: to be vomiting in her aunt’s garden, where anyone might come around the corner and see her. But it was no use trying to cling to any shreds of pride, not when she knew what she had to go through before the year was out. She raised her eyes to his.

  ‘I’m with child.’

  Again, she added to herself.

  The effect on Charlie was startling. His eyes opened wide, and his face took on a softer expression than Amy had ever seen on it.

  ‘You’re sure?’ he demanded. She nodded. Yes, she was sure now. It was as though telling Charlie had made it true when before it had been only an imagined fear.

  ‘Come on,’ he said abruptly. ‘We’re going home.’

  ‘What? But we can’t go yet, not until Lizzie and Frank go. And I haven’t said goodbye to Lizzie.’

  ‘Don’t worry about that, her mind’s on other things. She’ll not be missing you. You need to get your feet up and have a bit of peace and quiet.’

  This was unlike anything Amy had ever seen from Charlie, but he was still to be obeyed without argument. He lifted her onto Smokey’s back to perch sideways in the saddle. She held the mane while Charlie led the horse by the reins.

  Charlie asked her several times if she felt quite well as they walked home. He insisted that she lie down when they got to the house, and even brought her a cup of tea. He sat on the chair beside the bed while she drank it.

  ‘So, a child on the way. We’ll have to get things ready for him. When do you judge your time will be?’

  ‘November, I think. It’s a long time yet, Charlie. There’s no need to rush.’

  ‘A cradle, he’ll need a cradle. And clothes and suchlike, I suppose—you know all about that, anyway.’

  Amy, whose real experience of what a baby needed came from her little brothers rather than her daughter, noticed it was the first time Charlie had ever managed to refer to her past without reviling her. She did not risk spoiling his new softness by pointing out that the child might be a girl. Muttering to himself, Charlie went outside to stamp about in his timber store looking for wood suitable for a cradle, leaving Amy to drift of
f into a light slumber. She did not expect Charlie’s good temper to last, but she might as well enjoy it while it did.

  *

  Charlie was wrong. Lizzie did miss Amy when the time came to leave for her new home, and was concerned when she could not find her. But the flurry of gathering up her belongings, kisses and tears from her mother, and climbing into her father’s buggy put Amy out of her head. Arthur had insisted they borrow his buggy; it was hardly fitting for his daughter to leave her wedding walking up the road in the dust or bouncing behind her husband’s saddle.

  ‘I’ll send the boys over in the morning to do the milking,’ he said to Frank while the two of them were waiting for Lizzie to reappear. ‘They can bring the buggy back then. You have a lie-in.’ He dug his new son-in-law in the ribs, and Frank felt his ears go red. ‘You’ll be all right,’ Arthur added in a low voice, smiling encouragingly.

  Arthur’s confidence in him gave Frank a warm glow. ‘Yes, I think I will.’

  ‘Just you remember,’ Arthur said, wagging his finger to emphasise his words, ‘start as you mean to go on with Lizzie. Get things sorted out right from the start.’

  ‘Right, yes, I’ll do that, Pa,’ Frank assured him.

  Frank helped Lizzie into the buggy and climbed in beside her, while all the guests stood and waved, calling out their good wishes.

  The harness was more complicated than the one Frank was used to on his spring cart. He fumbled with the reins, causing the horses to shy. Lizzie was jerked against the seat, and turned from waving to everyone. ‘What are you doing?’ she said under her breath. ‘Don’t you know how to do it?’

  ‘Not really,’ Frank admitted. ‘I’ll manage, though.’ To his dismay, he saw that he was getting the reins into a knot.

  ‘Not like that,’ Lizzie hissed. ‘You’re making a mess of it. You need to… oh, just hold them steady for a bit, don’t try steering or you’ll get in a worse muddle.’ She looked back over her shoulder again and smiled and waved until they rounded a bend in the road and were out of sight from the house. Then she leaned across to Frank and took the reins out of his hands.