“What do you mean when you were seven? I don’t remember being introduced to you, Ivy.”
“We were at a charity fair. Your father and my father were talking about Charles starting a new business venture. Our mothers met in the line for cotton candy.” He frowns trying to figure it out.
“My mother introduced us, ‘Darling, this is Chase Hudson.’ I turned to look at this very handsome boy, dressed so smart in tailored pants and a suit. I smiled at you and felt myself blush for the first time in my life. Not a hair out of place, well-manicured nails, and dimples that warmed my soul.”
“‘Nice to meet you, Ivy,’ you said shaking my hand. Your skin was so soft, your grasp tight and firm. I felt a tingle when we touched back then and I still do to this day.
“Your blue eyes were so wonderful, like the color of the sky, and when you smiled again, I felt warmth, especially between you and your mother. You and her had a bond, your heart was warm. Your mother was caring and considerate, and you inherited that from her, your warmth, your joy, and your love,” I concede to tell Chase every memory I had of him and that day.
“I didn’t want to say good-bye to you that day, Chase. I wanted it to last forever,” I confess.
“I kept looking for you at events, dinners, luncheons, and then I heard through Father that you had moved and that your poor mother was gone,” I admit.
“I cried myself to sleep that night. For two years, I had looked for you, and at age nine, I had my heart broken. I was too young to fall in love and I felt so silly, especially since I’d only met you once but it hurt like hell,” I announce, and his face is priceless really.
My mind is racing, it all sounds so familiar.
I shake my head in disbelief. The pretty brown-haired girl in the purple dress all of those years ago was Ivy? I just can’t believe it was fucking Ivy, of all people in this world.
I remember her green eyes, porcelain skin, and her fake smile that screamed ‘take me somewhere away from here, anywhere but here.’ At ten years old, I remember feeling my heart flutter when I first saw her. I paused as my mother introduced us and I was brought back to reality. Then I remember the rules, ‘Offer your hand, son, and always say it’s a pleasure to meet you.’ So I do as I’m told.
But boy I’d never been so happy to offer my hand before. Even then you were such a beautiful recipient.
“Wow, I just can’t believe it. I remember you and I had the same thoughts about you that day, Ivy. I also hoped we would meet again one day. I’m blown away that we are destined to be together.
“Let’s toast, Ivy. To us, the road to get here has been rocky and chaotic, and I'm sure it will stay bumpy. But I wouldn't change it for the world. You have exceeded any expectations I ever had that one day I could find love again. We have something spectacular, Ivy, something raw, real, and intense.”
I smile at Ivy, totally blown away by this woman’s courage. Just months ago, she was fighting our connection, scared of commitment, and freaking out.
Life has a funny way of working things out.
Saturday night’s gig is at The Mercenary—bit of a strange name for a bar, but a pretty awesome venue. It’s based around the medieval theme.
I notice a sea of our regular groupies in the crowd, but there are also a lot of new faces. I love to play for newbies. It’s like walking for the first time; once you get the hang of it, you take off. The new crowd seems to love the music so far.
“Are you ready to rock this joint tonight?” I scream into the microphone to hype up the crowd.
I strum my guitar; my fingers know the chords by heart and calm washes over me when I play the guitar.
The crowd has their lighters swaying as I sing a slower song. Singing is a release for me. The more I sing, the freer I become—free of my father, free of Hudson Industries, and my brother. I desperately need to share this part of me with Ivy. I need her to see how much I love it.
I lied to her again. I hate it. I told her it was a financial meeting this time. She is always so trusting, believing every word I say. And why shouldn’t she? Someone so invested in another should be one hundred percent loyal and honest.
I promised I would see her tomorrow. I won’t be able to sleep thinking about her all alone in her bed. Her absence has me feeling lonely and anxious.
It’s one am when I arrive back at my apartment. I shower away the cigarette smoke, sweat, and the few glasses of gin that I downed to unwind. I find myself calling Ivy before I can stop myself.
“Chase, are you okay?” I hear her sweet voice answer still half-asleep.
“Yes, baby, I’m okay. I just needed to hear your voice,” I admit.
“Well, you’re no longer in trouble for calling so late when you wake me with words like that.”
“I need you tonight, Ivy, so badly. I can’t sleep. All I can think about is you and your beautiful face. I’m lonely and I never get lonely. Get your pretty little ass over here as fast as you can.” I say it before I have a chance to think about the time, and the fact that I just woke her up.
“Chase, it’s after one in the morning. I will see you early in the morning,” she tells me yawning.
“But I need you now. Derek will be there to pick you up in twenty minutes,” I affirm to my princess.
“Oh, really? Okay, well if you need me so badly I guess I will see you soon, but I am staying in my non sexy pyjamas, Mr. Hudson,” Ivy replies with her usual humor.
“Perfect,” I tell her feeling excited about seeing her soon—my dick hardens at the thought.
I manage to collapse into a deep sleep after being ravished by Chase. The minute I walked into his apartment in dorky pjs and slippers, he was on me like a moth to a flame. It was intense and desperate. I sensed he was different tonight, on a high I haven’t seen before, like after you go to a club. Surely he was telling me the truth about another meeting...
I am woken by the insatiable Chase’s delicious mouth licking and sucking my core. Still feeling tender and sensitive from the last endeavor, my folds already start to tingle. I stretch my arms and bring my knees up giving him better access. His rough chin scratches my thighs, sending goosebumps along my leg.
Fuck, this man is a composer with his mouth. Who would have thought humming could vibrate in all the right places. I am desperate for a release. What, it's been a couple hours already. Adding his talented fingers, I’m almost there. He massages my clit faster and then nibbles and licks my core making my shoulders tense. He slides a finger inside me swirling it around and that’s all it takes. I can’t remember what I was doing.
“So Miss Hudson are you glad you spent the night?” he inquires brazenly as he brings me to pieces with his tongue and hands.
“Yes!” I scream. My orgasm hits me and I shake and come undone for the third time in eight hours. Damn him.
I am still floating on cloud nine after my release.
It doesn’t take long for him to push his hardness against my dripping wet pussy. He thrusts inside me with a roughness that drives me insane. It’s raw and rough, and I love it.
Chase thrusts again; his eyes never leave mine, and it’s so intense. He loves the control as he pulls himself out and pushes one of my legs up. Then without hesitation he slams unyielding into me, so deep, so unadulterated, and so fucking hot.
“Fuck me, Chase. Oh God, you’re so deep,” I say to him seductively.
He grins then kisses me hard and passionately, pushing inside me again. He finds a tempo that is sublime and brings me closer to the edge of ecstasy.
“Harder,” I moan into his neck.
“You got it, baby,” he whispers as he thrusts inside deeper than I ever thought possible sending me right over the edge. My release hits as he continues to maneuver inside. I buck, quiver, and explode.
Chase follows close behind and we both collapse, totally depleted and worn out. He embraces me as we drift off to sleep, feeling as though nothing could ever get in our path.
I am at the biggest crossro
ads of my life. I love being with Ivy—she is my everything. Hardcore is a close second, and well, Hudson Industries is becoming further down the track.
Months ago, before I met Ivy, I had composure and a plan. Life was crazy busy but organized with my priorities being working and playing gigs.
Now she is taking precedence and it scares the absolute fuck out of me. How can I be so reckless? Do I want to lose it all?
Maybe I should just move to Mexico and start all over again? Trust me it has crossed my mind.
I love Ivy unconditionally, but it's not just love, it’s friendship, too. Without a doubt, she has taken me to unseen heights and helped me to sort through my demons and smash my goals out of the park. Her love is the biggest piece of the puzzle and all of our differences are so minimal that nothing else matters.
She tore down my walls and awoke me, tore off a layer that had been glued on for so long. The darkness surrounding my heart has now been showered with a bright light. The light is my empowerment to give love and now feel worthy of receiving it, too.
This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and I’ve done some messed up shit! But it's only money, right?
Chase has a ton of it. He won't notice a clean mill missing. I tried hacking into Ivy's bank account with no luck. I thought if I could just steal from her and her rich family to repay my debts, it wouldn't be betraying my best friend.
Fuck.
How did I get so screwed up?
I'm wrecking everything with Lilly and deceiving the one guy who is like a brother to me. The only one who has always tried to help me.
Chase has given me so much already. I could ask him for help again, but then he would be disappointed.
You don't think he will be when he finds out you have lied and stolen from him? I ask myself.
My phone rings.
Fuck...
It's Rocco.
“Rocco, I was just going to call you," I say to him. I know he is pissed.
"You are fucking around, Talon. You owe me a million. You have two days or your body will be floating in the East River!" he screams angrily in the phone before he hangs up.
Yep. I'm totally screwed.
I need to get into Chase's office to get the account number.
I know that Chase is completely preoccupied with Ivy right now, so I take advantage of him being vulnerable. When he leaves early for the day, I sneak into his office.
I cut the camera wires so I won’t be videoed. I can’t have any leaks or fingers pointed in my direction. One more misdemeanor and the judge will lock me up and throw away the key.
I know his locked filing cabinet has a notebook with codes for everything, including passwords and secret questions.
I break the lock using a screwdriver. I know Chase carries the key around everywhere with him so it wouldn’t be here in his office.
By the time he realizes the lock is broken, the plan will be in motion.
I retrieve the notebook and sneak back out; now to get home and transfer the funds.
Last night, I dreamt my mother was sitting in her favorite chair in the garden of our old home. She told me she was proud of me, how she loved me, and was so happy that I was with Ivy.
“Do what makes you happy, Chase. Always follow your heart and your dreams, my sweet boy.”
Well, I know for fucking sure that being a part of Hudson Industries with my destructive father breathing down my neck is not following my dreams.
It’s not who I am. I’m good at my job, I have succeeded, but my dreams are Ivy and Hardcore. They allow me to be who I am without the bullshit and stigma of ‘who I should be’ instead of ‘who I want to be.’
Can I just walk away from the company I helped create?
I need to take the first step in making my dreams come true by being honest with Ivy. I need to finally tell her about Hardcore and my second identity.
I guess I kept it to myself to avoid a fight with her. I know I’ve betrayed her by lying about having work meetings when I was really playing a gig, but surely our love is strong enough to get through this.
Surely, Ivy loves me enough to forgive me and realize why I did what I did?
If the shoe was on the other shoe, would I be so forgiving?
I mean she didn’t tell me that she was Ally McCoy until last week.
It’s time to lay all of my cards on the table.
~~~~
Christopher meddling at work has made it the week from hell. I feel closer to just walking away from all of the fucking drama.
Good luck to him and Charles as they run Hudson Industries into the ground. I honestly feel like I could wash my hands of them both.
Ivy is my sanctuary. She is my escape from all of the pathetic bullshit. Honestly, I don’t know what I would do without her in my life. She is the light in my dark, the warmth in my ice-cold universe, the sweet to my salty existence.
Just having her sleeping next to me, waking up with her in my arms, and hearing her sexy voice is enough to make me blissfully happy.
So far we don’t have any plans for the weekend. Hardcore is playing Saturday night, so it’s do or die…
I’m going to show her who I really am and telling her the truth for once and for all.
During my lunch break on Thursday I speak to her. The first step of my plan is to get her to the club on Saturday night so she can see the truth with her own eyes.
“Ivy, Talon and I are going to a bar on Saturday night, can you and Lilly meet us there?” I ask her casually, hoping that my voice doesn’t give me away.
“Sounds like it could be a fun night. I thought Chase Hudson wasn’t a party animal anymore?” she teases me.
If only you knew, my vixen.
“It’s just a band with a few drinks, baby. Nothing major,” I answer feeling a little queasy.
“I’ll check with Lilly, but it should be perfect. Should we meet at your place first?” she asks, unknowingly spoiling my plan already.
“Talon has already arranged it for me to get ready at his place, since his brother is in town,” I lie. I hate myself for all of these lies. All of the deception is killing me.
~~~~
Ivy insists on driving to The Silver Roadhouse even though I offer for Derek to pick them up.
“I love my car, plus I’m not planning on having a big night. I want to drive, Chase.” It’s probably a good idea, especially if she wants to leave in a hurry.
I’m really hoping she doesn’t, but it’s definitely on the cards…
“I will see you at nine, baby,” I tell her on Saturday afternoon when I called to confirm our meeting time at The Silver Roadhouse.
Hardcore is booked at eight-thirty, so I want to be relaxed and into the music before she sees me. Knowing she will be watching me will be unnerving.
“I love you, Ivy, more than words. Please remember that,” I say over the phone.
“I love you too, Chase, always,” she replies sounding a little concerned with my sudden confession of love.
~~~~
Talon arrives with me and the band to help set up. I haven’t seen the guy in months; he’s always busy or I’m with Ivy.
“What’s happening, Tal? We’ve got to get together more often, bro.” Honestly, I’m just trying to distract myself from the fact that Ivy will see Chaser tonight.
“Yeah, life gets in the way,” he replies shortly. I’ve noticed him being distant but just figured it had to do with Lilly, but honestly, who knows with Talon. He’s always been a hard nut to crack.
“Can you believe that I haven’t told Ivy about Chaser and Hardcore, Tal. Do you think she is going to hate me?” I question him nervously.
“Honestly bro, I think she will be fucking pissed. I can’t believe you didn’t tell her sooner,” he responds harshly, and I know he is right. I’m just gutless and didn’t want to spoil a good thing.
Well, I’m pretty sure it will be spoilt tonight. I can’t lose this woman—I won’t survive without her.
&nb
sp; ~~~~
I don’t fucking get nervous before a gig, not ever. Being on stage is so natural to me now. So why the fuck do I feel like I could hurl right now? It could have something to do with a sexy redhead that has no idea I’m the lead singer in this band and that I’ve been lying to her for months.
I keep telling myself, you got this dude. What will she think of my voice? She has no idea I can sing.
My voice has a rough and deep sound to it, but it’s still decent. I don’t think we would be getting hired for casual gigs if I was awful.
Maybe Ivy won’t see it as a lie, just a new revelation.
It’s not really a lie now, is it? If you don’t tell a person about an incident, then you aren’t lying about it, just not disclosing the information.
Great, now I’m lying to myself. Nope, it’s a full-blown lie and I know it.
“This is it, The Silver Roadhouse,” I announce as I park my pride and joy into one of the last parking spots available.
“Don’t you find it a little weird how we had to meet them here and not all come together, Ivy?” Lilly questions. I’ve actually asked myself the same question a few times today.
I just shrug my shoulders. Men are from Mars, I know that much…
We’re both in our tight dark denim jeans, with Lilly showing off a lot of her tanned skin and cleavage, and wearing her monster stiletto boots. I’m happy with my outfit; my top is a slate blue silk blouse, quite short to show off my navel, with buttons open up the top showing a little cleavage, and short capped sleeves.
I took extra time on my hair tonight, wearing it down and straightened, and I opted for a medium heel—it’s a bar not a club, after all.
The Roadhouse is packed; it must be a sold-out concert. I notice the posters for a band called Hardcore, and by the sounds of the music whoever this band Hardcore is, boy they can really rock!
Tainted Deception Page 16
