I wonder if I could buy their cd here—the lead singer’s voice is something else. I turn toward the stage to watch the man with the deep voice sing.
His eyes are closed, and he’s gripping the microphone stand. His hair is dark brown and styled into a Mohawk, his biceps are smoking hot and exposed by his wife-beater. Tattoos cover his skin... There is something familiar about this guy.
Not his hair, his clothes or persona, but that face, it’s etched into my brain…
No. Fucking. Way.
I stare in shock at his arms covered in the tattoos I know so well.
Those hands, I’ve seen them before... I’ve felt them on every inch of my body.
That mouth, I’ve kissed it daily for the past seven months.
I know he disappears sometimes, I knew there was another side to this man, but this...
A whole different life.
A totally different person.
Lead singer in a rock band.
How could Chase have kept this from me?
Why did he keep this from me?
What a way to deceive someone.
If he loves me, why lie to me?
Maybe it’s all been a lie.
What the fuck is real and what is tainted with his lies and deception?
Oh God, I feel sick...
I’m still staring in shock at him when he opens his eyes. And as if by a magnetic force, his eyes find mine. But tonight all I see in them is his deception.
His eyes widen in shock and he mouths the word ‘sorry.’
Yep, you are fucked dude.
I shake my head at this lying, imposter of the man I thought I loved.
“This next song is for you, Ivy,” he says into the microphone as I turn feeling disheveled and run to the bathrooms or the nearest exit—whichever is closest.
I can’t breathe, it’s happening all over again. He didn’t cheat, but he lied and deceived me.
I just can’t believe it; I feel totally betrayed.
I find the ladies’ room where I race into a stall and slam the door shut. But the music is still playing, and his voice is echoing through the walls.
“She makes me high on life
She is electricity
Sweetness in my life
My walking fantasy
I feel like a real man
My life is complete
My secret plan
Her kiss tastes so sweet
Thank you for your love
Thank you for your heart
I will treasure you forever
I want to grow old and grey together”
The words to his song are all a lie; everything is a lie.
I hate those stupid words. My tears start to fall, and I feel hurt, betrayed, and gutted.
The man I love is the lead singer for Hardcore? Is that what he has been doing during his weekend “business meetings?” I’m so confused.
“Ivy, are you okay?” I hear Lilly calling out as she enters the ladies’ room. “I had no idea, Ivy, did you?” she questions, and I shake my head.
“I had no fucking idea, Lil. Can you believe it? Seven months together and I never realized he was living this double life. Am I stupid?” That’s how I feel, so silly and naive that I didn’t figure this out.
“You are not stupid, just trusting and loyal. What does this mean for you guys now?” she asks me, and with that question, I can’t help but burst further into tears.
I never thought he would make me cry, or lie to me, or keep secrets. Does he think I would be okay with this, the fact that he betrayed me?
“Lilly, get me out of here,” I announce as I wipe my eyes and hope to sneak out before he can stop me.
At last the truth is out there. The hurt and betrayed look in Ivy’s eyes cut me deep. She looked pained and betrayed. Why did I expect anything more?
What can I do to win her back? How can I explain myself and my reasons?
I’m surprised I was able to finish the gig. I saw her escape and never come back, and yet I kept singing to her and for her.
“Sorry it didn’t turn out as you’d planned, Chase,” Talon says when he drops me off at home.
“Yeah, me too, bro,” I reply as we shake hands and he speeds off.
I need to clear my mind. There are so many thoughts going on inside my head right now.
I jump on my customized Harley and start the engine. It roars to life, the sound makes me feel free and alive, the vibration radiates through me, taking away the pain of hurting Ivy, if only for a brief time.
I drive out of my garage and head for the freeway. A long drive with the wind in my hair and the fresh air is what I’m craving.
I had to tell Ivy about Chaser, about the other side of me.
But will she ever forgive me for keeping it a secret all this time?
After a long ride, I think I have a solution.
~~~~
I’ve tried calling her, at least five times a day, but Ivy won’t return my calls, and she won’t answer her door. I feel so hopeless.
How can I make her see the error of my ways and apologize if she won’t let me…
I know how I can make it up to her. I need to go to the papers and tell them the truth about who Chase Hudson really is.
Telling the world my secret might be enough for Ivy to forgive me.
It’s fucking time to say good-bye to Chase Hudson and time to embrace Chaser and Hardcore. I owe it to myself and the band, and now I owe it to Ivy.
Ivy has always been an advocate to always be yourself and don’t change for other people.
I have altered myself all these years. Just like an actor in a movie role, playing the façade and acting my part as it would seem.
Well, I’m done.
I call a meeting with Father and the other board members, knowing this is not going to go down well. I bring along my attorney who has already drawn up my resignation.
Father’s words cut like a double edged sword.
“I always knew you were weak. You’re a quitter. No son of mine is a quitter,” he states harshly when he hears the news.
“I’m fucking stronger than you realize, Charles. And you are right, no son of yours is a quitter and that is why I’m no longer your son,” I reply mustering up all the courage I can manage. “Forget about me because I know I will have no problem forgetting about you,” I add. A weight has been lifted from me. I can honestly say without him in my life, I will be better off.
Now for the next step in my plan.
I contact The New York Times and arrange a meeting.
The headline reads:
BILLIONAIRE CHASE HUDSON RESIGNS FROM HUDSON INDUSTRIES
It would appear that Chase Hudson, former Hudson Industries Director, has been living a double life.
By day, he was the director of Hudson Industries, formal and professional.
But by night, he is the lead singer for the band Hardcore. I’m sure most of you have heard of them. He goes by the name Chaser.
As you can see by these photos, Mr. Hudson, or Chaser, is very different under his suit. Covered in tattoos, nineteen to be exact, with his hair in a Mohawk.
Can you see the resemblance?
We asked Chase why he is owning up to this now.
Chase:
I’m sick of acting the way others want me to act. I’m not the shadow of Charles Hudson or his successor, and I don’t want to be stuck in an office all day.
This is the real me. I’m Chaser, the lead singer of Hardcore. I love to sing and play my guitar. My life is exciting and fulfilling when I’m up on stage.
Somebody taught me just recently that being different and unique is never a bad thing—it’s a fantastic and inspiring thing.
Break the mold, be yourself, and love your life!
Fall in love. I know I have and it’s the most incredible feeling. Ivy, if you are reading this, I love you always and forever; you are amazing and I don’t want to be without you.
It’s been five long
miserable days without Chase. I’ve been so confused. I need to wrap my head around this all and figure out if I can ever forgive him.
I feel hurt and betrayed, but I know Chase would never intentionally hurt me.
I realize Chase was trying to protect me from anguish, from his lies, but he didn’t consider the outcome.
The special moments in our relationship outweigh the bad, which is why I can’t walk away from this man.
I know from years of counseling that forgiveness is a choice.
I decide to write Chase a letter, telling him everything that I’m thinking and feeling. It’s a way of processing my emotions.
I just need space and time with my thoughts. I can’t force forgiveness.
“Ivy, you need to check out The New York Times,” Lilly says sounding frantic on the phone. I bring up their page on my laptop.
What the actual fuck?
Chase has resigned from Hudson Enterprises and told the world the truth.
He confessed his love for me in The New York freaking Times!
I’m blown away. I need to talk to him.
I send Chase a text message.
I’m ready to see you but don’t get your hopes up. -Ivy
Ok, I will come to you. -Chase
When he arrives at my apartment, he looks distraught. I’ve never seen the remarkable man I fell in love with look so forlorn and destroyed.
“Please let me speak first,” I announce before he can begin to talk. I need to get this off my chest. “It really hurt me that you couldn’t be honest and up front with me,” I confess. “I was so upset and betrayed seeing you on that stage. Seeing a man that I didn’t recognise or know and yet I felt the same connection with him. Why didn’t you tell me, Chase?” I need to know his answer so I can make sense of it all.
“Why did you run the risk of losing me by keeping this secret? I’m ready to listen to your side, Chase.” I hope he can shed some light on my questions.
“Ivy, I’m so unbelievably sorry that I hurt you. I honestly thought not telling you was keeping you from getting hurt, but I couldn’t have been more wrong,” he states looking pained.
“Chaser is such a big part of my life. I wanted to share him with you so badly, but I didn’t know how to tell you or what your reaction would be,” he confesses as he looks deeply into my eyes.
“I didn’t tell you because I honestly thought I was protecting you and saving our relationship. I made a huge mistake Ivy, the biggest mistake of my life and not being with you is killing me,” he professes with remorse and raw emotion echoing in his voice.
The tears fall freely from my eyes because I do understand his side, but it still feels like agony.
“I understand you were protecting me, and I thank you for that,” I reply to his heartfelt confession. “I accept your apology, Chase, but I still need more time to wrap my head around everything. I still love you and want to work through this—I just need to figure out if that is something I’m capable of doing, okay?” I give him a little smile. He nods, giving me a small smile, then leaves my apartment.
I hate giving Ivy space. Leaving her building was intense, but I didn’t want to push her.
It’s been the longest fourteen days of my life. I honestly can’t take the fucking suspense of waiting any longer. She forgave me, but still needed time for herself. I have obliged, but damn it I miss her.
Whether it’s the right choice or not, I decide to fight for her. I will tell her I can’t spend another damn minute without her in my life.
My heart is racing and I’m feeling volatile. But fuck it, this woman is mine and I want her back. I will get her back if it’s the last thing I do in the world.
I can’t wait a second longer.
I show up at her work, holding a bouquet of white tulips. I Googled the best flower for forgiveness.
Sweat is beading on my brow and my pulse is racing through my veins when a sudden sense of calm falls over me. She is my destiny.
I find her running a tour. She looks as stunning as ever, even with the dark bags that match my own under her eyes.
“Thank you for joining me on today's tour. Please come back again,” she announces and smiles to her tour group.
Her smile warms my heart.
She notices me and bites her lip. I can see her eyes gloss over. It’s the first time we have seen each other in a week. I still feel crazy in love with this amazing woman.
She turns and tries to escape me again. So I do the only think I know how to do, I pick up the microphone and I sing.
“Baby baby, I’d get down on my knees for you
If you would only love me like you used to do
We had a love… a love you don’t find every day
So don’t… don’t… don’t… don’t let it slip away.”
She stops frozen in her tracks and starts to turn. I see tears streaming down her face as her lips tremble.
“Ivy, I’m so sorry. I love you so much. Please come back to me,” I announce to the entire museum. I see ladies smiling and staring, making comments about how lucky she is.
I place the microphone down and go to her. She is a vision even covered in tears.
Without uttering another word, I embrace her tightly and kiss her tearstained lips, trying to take away the pain and hurt I caused.
Ivy wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me back. Every ounce of our emotions is invested in this one meaningful and momentous kiss.
Thank fuck!
I gaze into the incredible emerald eyes I have missed so much—it feels like I’m home, my happy place, my safe haven.
“I love you always and forever, Ivy,” I whisper.
“I love you too, Chase,” she replies, and I feel a happy tear escape from my eye.
I wait for Ivy to finish work for the day before we head home together. I can’t handle another minute apart.
“I love you so very much, Ivy.” The depth of my feelings is unequivocal and more than I ever expected or thought I could feel.
I have a new tattoo to show Ivy. I need her to see me and know nothing has changed with us—our love is eternal.
I carry her to her bedroom where I place her on the bed and stare at this angel before me. My angel who has come back to me.
She kisses me and pours her heart into my soul.
We make love, savoring each other’s touch and emotions.
I thrust lovingly inside her, relishing the feeling of being inside her. This is heaven to me. My cock is the perfect fit for her. I thrust into her over and over, showing her body pleasure. She quivers beneath me as she comes.
My release is imminent. I vigorously thrust and attain ecstasy. I come apart inside her, enraptured in not only her body but her beautiful and wondrous heart and soul.
Nothing can match this feeling.
I can no longer imagine my life without Ivy. She completes me.
Forgiving Chase really wasn’t hard. I don’t believe I’m weak for forgiving him. I believe I’m strong enough to understand that people make mistakes.
In the words of Mahatma Gandhi,
“The weak can never forgive… Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
I realized I never forgave Leon for cheating on me, and it ate me up on the inside. I never found peace from what happened until therapy helped me to deal with it.
My relationship with Chase is worth so much. I can’t give up on us, and I can’t turn my back on him. I love him too much.
I love him tremendously and will forevermore.
The fact that he got a matching koi tattoo shows me the depth of his feelings.
In the words of Powder Finger, “My Happiness is slowly creeping back.” Now that Ivy is back in my life, I feel god damn amazing.
She constantly keeps me on my toes and makes me laugh my ass off.
“I think it’s time I heard your band play and become a Hardcore groupie, Mr. Tough Guy. You can talk the talk, but can you walk the walk?” Ivy teases. She has been so suppo
rtive of my decision to leave Hudson Industries and pursue my music career.
“Oh, trust me, baby, I can walk the walk. I can also make sure that you are too sore to be able to walk.” Two can play at this game.
“I only heard you play once. Can you even sing and play guitar? I’m sure you have groupies, but look at you, is it for your looks or talent?” Ivy just can’t help being sarcastic; she’s fluent in it that’s for sure.
“Jeez, you don’t mess around, Ivy. It’s a good thing I’m not a sensitive guy; you’re basically telling me I suck and that I’m overconfident,” I respond still smirking. “How about we make this interesting? If I’m any good in your eyes and if I’m talented to your standards, then we spend next weekend together at my beach house in Los Angeles?” I proposition her.
“Is this a wager and the prize is taking me away for the weekend? What if I think you totally suck, Mr. Hudson?” Ivy questions raising her eyebrows and smirking.
“Your choice of prize, Miss Maisen. Anything at all,” I reply totally intrigued by what she would choose for her prize. Would it include me or something else entirely?
“Hmm, I like the sound of that. Leave it with me and I’ll choose my reward then let you know.”
“Sure, do you want me to get the ribbon ready to tie around my naked body?” I smile broadly and feel like a douchebag for saying it, but there is something about getting under her skin that I just love.
“Ha-ha, you wish, rich boy. Trust me when I say you won’t enjoy what I have planned for you when I win.” I wonder what she has in mind.
Handcuffs, whips, and floggers cross my mind. Nothing would surprise me with this woman.
I arrive at The Crown for this week’s gig with Ivy on my arm. I’m euphoric to have her as my woman, and I want the whole world to know and all of the groupies will realize they don’t have a chance.
I want to show her off—her beauty is inspiring and her support is uplifting. I can honestly say she makes my life complete.
As planned, the local Fox channel has one of their cameramen filming tonight’s concert. Everyone wants on the Chaser and Hardcore bandwagon now. The money they are paying is going to the band, and we are getting new speakers and merchandise. Who would have thought that focusing purely on the band could be so time-consuming? The promoting alone is a daily chore, replying to fan mail, emails, and now selling CDs on our website.
Tainted Deception Page 17
