Shadowland i-3

by Элисон Ноэль

  Miles looks up from his phone, brows merged, eyes darting between us. “Excuse me? There’s a hot guy and nobody informed me?”

  I turn toward them, Haven’s words just now making an impact. She went to my work! She knows where I work! What else might she know?

  “Oh, he’s hot all right.” Haven nods, still looking at me. “Muy caliente, for sure. But apparently Ever’s determined to keep it a secret. Didn’t even know he existed ’til I saw for myself.”

  “How’d you know where I work?” I ask, trying to keep it casual, nonchalant, not let on just how alarmed I really am.

  “The twins told me.”

  This just went from bad to even worse.

  “I ran into them at the beach. Damen’s teaching them to surf.”

  I smile, but it’s a feeble one that feels false on my face.

  “Guess that explains why you didn’t tell us about your new job—you didn’t want your best friends moving in on your hottie coworker.”

  Miles stares at me, abandoning his texting for something far juicier.

  “He’s my boss.” I shake my head. “And it’s not like it’s a secret or anything, I just haven’t had a chance to mention it, that’s all.”

  “Yes, because our lunchtime chats are so scintillating you just couldn’t squeeze it in. Please.” Haven rolls her eyes. “So not buying it.”

  “Um, hello? Descriptors would be nice about now!” Miles leans forward, face eager, eyes darting between us.

  But I just shrug, watching as Haven smiles and sets down her cupcake, brushing the crumbs from her black denim lap as she says, “Picture the tannest, most aqua-eyed, hot-bodied, rockin’ the golden dreadlocks, laid-back surfer boy, hottie of the entire McHottie clan that you can even possibly imagine—then times it by ten and that’s him.”

  “Seriously?” Miles gapes, staring at me. “Like, for reals?”

  I sigh, tearing my sandwich to shreds as Haven says, “Trust me, words cannot describe the extreme measure of hotness. The only ones who can even come close are Damen and Roman, but then, they’re pretty much in a class by themselves, so they don’t really count. How old is he anyway?” She looks at me. “Seems too young to be a boss.”

  “Nineteen.” I shrug, not wanting to talk about work, Jude, or pretty much anything else on that list. This is exactly the kind of thing Damen warned me about. The kind of thing I need to avoid. “Speaking of hotties, how’s Josh?” I smile, making for a pretty awkward segue but hoping it’ll work.

  Watching her aura waver and flare as she focuses on her cupcake and says, “It ended the second he tried to give me the kitten. You should’ve seen him, smiling as though it was some miraculous gift.” She rolls her eyes and rips her cupcake in half. “I mean, seriously. How clueless can you get?”

  “He was just trying to be nice—” Miles starts, but Haven isn’t having it.

  “Please.” She scowls. “If he truly understood what I was going through, he never would’ve pushed some Charm replacement on me. Some adorable kitty that’s only real destiny is to die once I’ve grown extremely attached to her so I can experience the maximum amount of pain and suffering.”

  Miles rolls his eyes as I say, “It doesn’t always have to be like that—”

  But she cuts right in. “Oh really? Name one thing—one living thing—that doesn’t either die or leave you or both? Last time I asked you that question, you choked. So, Miles, you with the rolling eyes and smirking lips, go ahead, knock yourself out, name one thing that—”

  Miles shakes his head, hands raised in surrender, hating all confrontation and gladly forfeiting the game before it can start.

  Haven smirks, satisfied with our combined failure when she says, “Trust me, all I did was beat him to the chase. It would’ve ended eventually anyway.”

  “Well.” Miles shrugs, returning to his text. “For what it’s worth, I liked him. I thought you were good together.”

  “Then you date him.” Haven smirks, tossing a cupcake sprinkle his way.

  “No thanks. Too skinny and cute.” He smiles. “Now Ever’s boss on the other hand—”

  I glance at Miles, checking his aura and seeing he’s mostly joking—mostly.

  “His name’s Jude.” I sigh, resigned to the conversation coming full circle again. “And as far as I can tell he only likes girls that don’t like him back, but you’re welcome to take your best shot.” I close my lunch pack, zipping it shut with an uneaten apple, bag full of chips, and a shredded sandwich inside.

  “Maybe you should invite him to my going away party,” Miles says. “You know, so I can treat myself to a nice long good-bye.” He brushes his hand through his cropped brown hair and laughs.

  “About that—” Haven says, eyes partially obscured by the false eyelashes she’s been experimenting with. “My mom just tore up the den—like literally tore it up. Carpet ripped out, furniture cleared, walls knocked down—which, on the one hand, is nice since there’s no way they can sell the house when it’s all ripped up like that, but it also means there’s no way we can party at my house so I was hoping—”

  “Sure.” I nod, met by two faces so shocked I’m ashamed. Realizing their regular visits to my house, our Friday-night pizza eating, Jacuzzi-soaking ritual, ended the moment Damen entered my life. But now that he’s gone—or at least determined to stay away for a while—maybe it’s time to start up again.

  “You sure Sabine won’t mind?” Miles asks, voice hopeful but cautious.

  I shake my head. “As long as you don’t mind Munoz dropping by, it’s all good.” I roll my eyes.

  “Munoz? You mean the history teacher?” They gape. My two best friends looking as shocked and bug-eyed as I was when I first found out.

  “They’re dating.” I nod, knowing as much as I hate it, I certainly can’t stop it.

  Haven pushes her royal blue bangs off her face and leans toward me. “Wait—let me get this straight, your aunt Sabine is dating the hottie history teacher?”

  “Who’s hot for teacher now?” Miles laughs, nudging her arm.

  But Haven just shrugs. “Please. Don’t act like you haven’t noticed. I mean, as far as old guys go, especially ones who wear glasses and khakis, he’s smokin’.”

  “Please don’t call him smokin’.” I laugh in spite of myself. “And just so you know, at night he ditches the specs and swaps the Dockers for designer denim.”

  Haven smiles, rising from the bench. “That’s it then. Party at your house. This I’ve got to see.”

  “Is Damen coming?” Miles slips his phone in his pocket, eyeing me carefully.

  “Um—I don’t know—maybe.” I shrug, pressing my lips together and scratching my arm so fervently I may as well wear a sign that says: HEY—CHECK ME OUT! I’M LYING! “I mean, he’s pretty busy these days looking after the twins and all—”

  “Is that why he’s blown off school all week?” Haven asks.

  I nod, mumbling some nonsense about taking his finals early, but my heart isn’t in it, and it shows. Seeing them nod in assent, but only to appease me, their eyes and auras say otherwise, they’re not buying a word of it.

  “Just make sure Jude’s there,” Miles says, the mere mention of his name making my stomach dance.

  “Yeah, I’ll need him as a backup in case my date doesn’t work out like I hope.” Haven smiles.

  “You have a date?” Miles and I both say, voices blending as we take a moment to gawk.

  “Who?” I ask.

  Just as Miles says, “That was fast!”

  But Haven just smiles, waving over her shoulder as she heads for class, singing, “You’ll see!”

  CHAPTER 36

  Since I kept my promise to Munoz by attending history (which was way more awkward for me than it was for him), and since I made no such promise to any of my other teachers, I skip the rest of the day and head for the store.

  My thoughts drifting to Damen as I cruise Coast Highway, visualizing him so clearly he manifests in the seat right besi
de me. Gazing at me with those dark, smoldering eyes, lips parted, enticing, as he presses a spray of red tulips onto my lap—causing an ache so palpable, I banish him well before he can fade. Knowing a manifest Damen will never do. Not when the real one is out there—somewhere—waiting for three months to end.

  But I can’t wait. I refuse to wait. The only way to rid myself of this hollow empty feeling is to get Damen back. And the only way to do that is to crack Roman’s code. Get my hands on that antidote once and for all and then all of my problems are solved.

  But short of returning to his house, I’ve no clue where to find him. Like Damen, he’s pretty much blowing off the last days of school.

  I pull into the alley and claim the small space in back, storming through the door with such speed and force, Jude glances up in confusion as I head behind the counter and reach for the appointment book.

  “Trust me, if I’d known you were ditching, I would’ve scheduled some readings, but as it stands, I got nothing.”

  “I’m not ditching,” I mumble, even though we both know I am. “Okay, maybe I am.” I shrug, glancing at him. “But it’s the last week of school so it’s really no biggie. You won’t tell anyone, will you?”

  He dismisses the thought with a wave of his hand, lifting his shoulders as he says, “Just wish I’d known. I would’ve brought my board.”

  “You can still get it.” I head for the shelves and begin rearranging some books. Wanting to put some distance between us so I can avoid the enticing wave of calm his proximity brings. “Seriously,” I add when I see he’s not moving. “I’ll keep an eye on the place.”

  He looks at me, gaze steady, focused on mine. “Ever—” he starts.

  I look at him, sensing where this is going and eager to dispel any fears before he can get there. “You don’t have to pay me,” I say, arms loaded with books. “I’m not here for the overtime. In fact, I don’t even care if you pay me at all.”

  He narrows his gaze for one beat, then two. Tilting his head to the side when he says, “You really don’t, do you?”

  I shrug and return all the books, taking a moment to line them up perfectly before answering, “Nope, I really don’t.” Feeling good to unburden yet another illusion of mine, no matter how small.

  “Exactly what are you here for?” he asks, voice catching in a way I can’t help but notice. “The book?”

  I turn, feeling all nervous and squirmy as my gaze settles on his. “Is it that obvious?” I lift my shoulders, forcing a laugh.

  Relieved when he smiles and jabs his thumb over his shoulder as he says, “Go ahead, have fun. I won’t tell Damen what you’re up to.”

  I shoot him a look making it clear I’m over the Damen jokes, until I see that he’s serious.

  “Sorry.” He shrugs. “But it’s pretty clear he’s not into it.”

  I shrug, neither confirming nor denying. There’s no way I’m discussing Damen with him. Heading for the back room and settling in at the desk, just about to unlock the drawer with my mind when I see that he’s followed.

  “Oh, um, I forgot that it’s locked,” I mumble, feeling false and ridiculous as I motion toward the drawer, knowing I’m the worst actress ever but still going through the motions.

  He leans in the doorway, shooting me a look that makes it clear he’s not buying it. “Didn’t seem to stop you the last time,” he says, voice low and deep. “Or even the first time I found you in the store.”

  I swallow hard, unsure what to say. Admitting my abilities is breaking Damen’s most cardinal rule. The weight of Jude’s gaze heavy on mine as I say, “I can’t—I—”

  He lifts a brow, knowing I very well can.

  “I can’t do it in front of you,” I finish, knowing it’s foolish to keep up this ruse.

  “Does this help?” He places a hand over each eye and grins.

  I gaze at him for a moment, hoping he won’t peek through his fingers, then I take a deep breath and close my eyes too, seeing the lock spring open, before retrieving the book. Placing it on the desk as he takes a seat, head cocked to the side, foot balanced on his knee when he says, “You know, you’re pretty special, Ever.”

  I freeze, fingers hovering above the ancient tome, heart beating overtime.

  “I mean, your gift is special.” He looks at me, eyes squinting, shoulders lifting, the color on his cheeks deepening as he adds, “I’ve never met anyone with abilities like yours. The way you absorb information from a book, a person—and yet—”

  I gaze at him, throat tight and hot, sensing the beginnings of something I’d rather avoid.

  “And yet—you’ve no idea of who stands beside you. Right beside you, in fact.”

  I sigh, wondering if this is the moment when he thrusts a pamphlet at me and goes into full-blown testimony mode, but he just motions to my right, smiling and nodding as though someone’s right there. But when I turn to look, all I get is blank space.

  “At first I thought for sure you’d arrived in this store to teach me.” He smiles, reading my expression when he adds, “You do know there’s no such thing as coincidence—the universe is far too precise for random events. You came here for a reason, whether you realize it or not, and—”

  “I was led here by Ava,” I say, uncomfortable with where this is going and wanting it to stop. “And I returned to see Lina not you.”

  But he just nods, completely unfazed. “And yet, you returned at a time when Lina wasn’t here, making it possible for you to find me.”

  I shift in my seat and focus on the book since I can’t look at him. Not after what he just said. Not after my trip to Amsterdam with Damen.

  “Ever hear the phrase when the student is ready the teacher appears?”

  I shrug, glancing at him briefly before looking down again.

  “We meet the people we’re supposed to when the time is just right. And even though I’m sure I have plenty to learn from you, I’d really like to teach you something if you’ll let me—if you’re open to learning.”

  I can feel his gaze, heavy and intense, and knowing my options are few, I just shrug. Seeing him nod and look to my right, tilting his head as though someone’s there.

  “There’s someone who wants to say hello,” he says, gaze fixed on that spot. “Though she warns me you’re skeptical so I’ll have to work extra hard to convince you.”

  I stare at him, neither blinking nor breathing. Thinking that if this is a joke—if he’s tricking me in some way—then I’ll—

  “Does the name Riley mean anything to you?”

  I swallow hard, unable to speak. My mind speeding backward, searching every conversation we’ve ever had, looking for the moment when I might have revealed that.

  He looks at me, patient, waiting. But I just nod, unwilling to offer anything more.

  “She says she’s your sister—your younger sister.” Giving me no time to reply when he adds, “Oh, and she’s brought someone with her—or rather—” He smiles, pushing his dreads off his face as though to see better. “Or rather something—it’s a dog—a yellow—”

  “Lab,” I say, almost involuntarily. “That’s our dog—”

  “Butterball.” He nods.

  “Cup. Buttercup.” Eyes narrowing, wondering how he got that one wrong if Riley’s truly standing beside him.

  But he just nods, going on to say, “She says she can’t stay long since she’s keeping quite busy these days, but she wants you to know that she’s with you, a lot more than you think.”

  “Really?” I fold my arms and lean back in my seat. “Then why doesn’t she show herself?” I frown, abandoning my vow to keep silent and indulging my frustration with her. “Why doesn’t she do something to make herself known?”

  Jude gives a half smile, lips quirking the tiniest bit when he says, “She’s showing me a tray of—” He pauses, squinting as he continues, “brownies. She wants to know if you enjoyed them?”

  I freeze, remembering the brownies Sabine made a few weeks ago, and how the smallest
piece was marked with my initial, the largest with Riley’s, just like she used to do back when my mom used to make them—

  I look at Jude, throat so tight no words can get past. Struggling to compose myself as he says, “She also wants to know if you enjoyed the movie—the one she showed you in—”

  Summerland. I close my eyes, fighting back tears, wondering if my blabbermouth sister is going to tell him about that, but he just shrugs, and ends it right there.

  “Tell her—” I start, voice so hoarse and scratchy I’m forced to clear my throat and start again. “Tell her yes to everything—all of it. And tell her that—that I love her—and miss her—and to please say hi to Mom and Dad—and that she really needs to help me find a way so I can talk to her again—because I need—”

  “That’s where I come in,” he says, voice quiet, subdued, eyes seeking mine. “She wants me to be our go-between since she can’t speak directly to you—at least not outside of your dreams. Though she wants you to know she can always hear you.”

  I look at him, skepticism taking over again. Our go-between? Would Riley really want that? Does that mean she trusts him? And if so, why? Does she know about our past? And what’s that about our dreams—last time she appeared in my dream it was more like a nightmare. A riddle-filled nightmare that didn’t make any sense.

  I look at Jude again, wondering if I can trust him—if he’s somehow making this up? Maybe the twins told him—maybe he Googled the accident and—

  “She’s leaving,” he says, nodding as he smiles and waves good-bye at my supposedly invisible sister. “Would you like to say anything before she goes?”

  I grip the sides of my seat, gazing down at the desk as I struggle to breathe. The space feeling suddenly cramped, confined, as though the ceiling is dropping as the walls cave in. Having no idea if I can trust him, if Riley is here, if any of this is even real.

  All I know is that I need to get out of here.

  Get some air.