Forever and Always

by Beverley Hollowed

  “What, Dad I can’t” she cried.

  “You can and you will” he replied. “I can’t stand by and see my girl make the second biggest mistake in her life when there is still time to fix the first”.

  Melanie stared at her Dad in complete disbelief.

  “Lucy knew, didn’t she” Melanie said her eyes falling down to the ticket in her head.

  “Yes she did” Alex replied. “And James will be here in a few minutes to take you to the airport so quick go. James has your cases in his car already. Lucy and I went over this morning and packed your things”.

  Melanie threw her arms around her Dad and hugged him tightly.

  “Thank you” she whispered. She had never loved him more than she did right at that moment.

  Chapter 28When Sam woke up on that Saturday morning his head felt like the whole cast of River Dance were having rehearsals in his head. The bottle of Jack Daniels that seemed like a great idea the night before hadn’t turned out to be such a good idea after all.

  His closed his eyes and the image of Melanie jumped straight into his head, just like it had a million other times over the past week. He missed her so much. He had tried so hard to push her out of his head but it was impossible. He loved her as much as he tried not to.

  He thought of their huge argument the Saturday before. He remembered how heartbroken she looked before he walked out the door and the memory made his heart ache. He had lived out the argument in his head over and over again and something just wouldn’t sit right with him. He thought of everything she had said about how hurt and angry with him she was back then. But what he saw in her eyes was something else. He couldn’t quite figure it out.

  Something else was bothering him too. When he thought back to the night of her birthday. The night he had finally got up the courage to text her after weeks of nothing, she had promised to call him back but didn’t. He had waited for days, pleading with her to talk to him but there was nothing.

  He thought of what she said about how she had seen the picture of him and Carolyn and that’s what stopped her from calling and that’s what had pushed her to get rid of their baby. But the fundraiser had been nearly three weeks after her birthday so why hadn’t she called during that time. That’s what he couldn’t figure out.

  He quickly pushed these thoughts out of his head and climbed out of bed and headed to his bathroom for a shower. He needed to try and put Melanie behind him and sort out his life. Lying in bed going over their argument again and again was getting him nowhere fast. First thing he needed to do was go clear out his locker in work finally.

  After he left Melanie apartment the week before he rang the hospital and told them he wouldn’t be coming back then he headed straight to the airport. All he had with him was his wallet and passport and their tickets to Boston. He stood at the check in desk and just stared at Melanie’s ticket for about ten minutes. Finally he told the girl behind the desk that something had come up and he wouldn’t be catching the flight.

  He booked three more flights that week but each time when he got to the check in desk, he just couldn’t. After his third attempt on the Thursday before, he found himself outside Melanie’s apartment. He had no idea how he had ended up there but when he did he knew he wanted to see her.

  But as he sat in the car he saw her car pull up and watched as Melanie climbing out and heading towards her door. He was devastated just how sad Melanie looked. He wanted to jump out of the car and run to her but his legs just wouldn’t move. He had done this to her. She looked completely broken. He had promised her he would never break her heart again and that was exactly what he had done and he felt so ashamed. She deserved better and so he knew then he needed to finally let her go.

  He went home and logged onto his computer and booked another flight. That was due to leave at half nine that night. It was time to move on.

  Before he headed to the hospital he finished his packing, his head constantly filled with thoughts of Melanie.

  He thought of how good it had felt to finally have her beautiful body back in his arms. She had the most amazing body he had ever seen and he knew he would never look at someone else without comparing them to her and that they would always come up short by comparison. Even her one imperfection hadn’t made her any less perfect.

  Then he thought about her scar. What was it from and why had she gotten so upset the first night he saw it? He knew it hadn’t been a C-section scar after all because she had got rid of the baby. And that would have been done long before there was a possible need for a C-section so it couldn’t possible have been that. Something about this didn’t seem right to Sam but he just told himself to forget it and pushed all these painful memories out of his head.

  When he finally got to the hospital he tried to slip in unnoticed as he made his way to the doctor’s lounge and clear his belongings out of his locker. He was hoping to just grab his belongings and get away without having to answer to many questions.

  “Hey Coop” Stephanie, one of the doctors from his team said brightly as she walked into the lounge. “I heard you had left and returned States side”.

  “You heard right” Sam replied and smiled, trying to sound casual and happy. “Well except obviously I haven’t return to the US yet but I am flying out this evening”.

  “Aren’t you going to the wedding?” she asked as she poured herself a cup of coffee and slumped into of the large sofas in the lounge.

  “The wedding?” he asked turning to her in confusion.

  “Yeah Simon Brennan is getting married today” She replied. “You’re friends with him right. I thought you were going to the wedding. That what I heard anyway”.

  “The weddings today?” he asked as his heart raced and his stomach dropped to the floor. He couldn’t believe what she had just said. “It’s going ahead?”

  “Yeah” she replied and looked at him curiously before she continued. “It’s at 2 o’clock. Half of the hospital is going. I am hoping to head out to the reception this evening”.

  “What time is it now” he asked as panic washed over him not really listening to whatever she had just said.

  “It’s quarter to 2” she replied as she checked her watch.

  Without saying another word he slammed the locker shut and bolted out of the lounge. He ran flat out though the hospital and out onto the street. He looked up and down the road for a moment wondering what he should do next. Then he spotted a taxi he waved it down and jumped inside giving the driver the address of the church.

  As they made their way through the Saturday afternoon traffic, Sam could feel the panic in him rise as the minutes ticked by. The traffic was so heavy he knew it was unlikely he was going to make it. But he needed to try. He wasn’t really sure of what he would say when he got there but he knew once he saw Melanie he would know.

  He looked at his watch and it was already quarter past 2. The wedding would have already begun. But the traffic seemed to be going nowhere fast.

  Finally unable to wait any longer he paid the driver and jumped out of the car and began running in the direction of the church.

  By the time he reached the church it was already twenty five past. He knew he was probably too late but he didn’t care. He had to tell her how he felt. She had to know that he loved her and that what happened with the baby didn’t matter anymore. He just wanted her.

  He burst through the doors of the church and was shocked to find it already empty. Was he too late? He could see the flowers on the alter and the bows on the pews but where were all the guests? Where was Melanie?

  “You’re too late” a voice from behind him echoed throughout the church.

  Sam turned to find Simon sitting in the last row of the church, dress in his morning suit and looking like he just had his heart ripped out.

  “She is gone” Simon said he eyes finally meeting Sam’s.

  “What do you mean” Sam asked. “Gone where?”

  “Boston I think” Simon replied.

  “When
“ Sam asked half expecting Simon to jump up at any moment and beat the living crap out of him, no more than he deserved he thought to himself, but he didn’t move.

  “This morning” he simply replied.

  “I see” Sam said unsure of what his next move should be. Should he just leave or should he at least try and apologise to Simon. He decided best just to leave; the last thing Simon would have wanted was Sam’s sympathy. He turned to walk out of the church but was stopped by Simon’s voice.

  “You are a complete asshole” Simon said his voice still eerily calm. “You know that right”.

  “I guess I deserve that” Sam replied turning back to Simon.

  “You haven’t got a fucking clue” Simon said suddenly turning to Sam. “She never had an abortion. The night of her birthday she collapsed and began haemorrhaging. She had an ectopic pregnancy that ruptured. She was left fighting for her life. The only way they could save her was to perform a complete hysterectomy. She was afraid to tell you she couldn’t have kids because she knew that’s what you wanted a family. She was afraid you would have stayed with her because of guilt and that you would have resented her for it”.

  Sam slumped into the end of the long wooden seat Simon was sitting on. His head was spinning as he tried to absorb what Simon just told him.

  “She had planned to tell you about the baby last Saturday before you both left” Simon continued, the hurt in his voice undeniable. “But Katie got to you first. When she saw how upset you were over the baby she knew how much having a kid meant to you and she couldn’t ask you to give up that dream for her. So she lied”.

  “She is so fucking stupid” Sam said angrily. “I don’t give a fuck about kids; the only thing I care about is Melanie. Why couldn’t she see that?”

  “Because she loved you” Simon replied surprising Sam with his sincerity. “She always has. I have always known that there was some guy from some beach that held her heart. But I loved her to much to walk away. When you love someone you want them to be happy. She wanted you to be happy”.

  “But she is the one who makes me happy” he sighed. Then he looked at Simon and felt complete and utter sympathy for him. “Why are you telling me all this? Why aren’t you kicked my ass like I deserve”.

  “Like I said, if you love someone you want them to be happy” Simon said and smiled, a sad reluctant smile. “I love Melanie and I want her to be happy. And sadly it’s you, not me that makes her happy”.

  Sam didn’t really know how he should respond to that so for a moment he said nothing.

  “You are a good man Simon” Sam finally said.

  “Ah much as I hate to admit it” Simon replied and laughed. “You are a good guy too”.

  “I am sorry you got caught in the middle of all this” Sam sighed. “When I came back here to look for her. I really wasn’t expecting her to just stumble back into my life like she did. And I stupidly believed she wouldn’t have moved on because I never did. There has never been anyone else. But I swear I never set out to hurt you. And I know this wasn’t easy for her either. She was so heartbroken about what she was doing to you”.

  “I know” Simon replied, sighing loudly as he stood up suddenly. “I should go; My Mom isn’t quite as forgiving as I am. I should go try calming her down a little”.

  He turned to walk away but turned back to Sam and held out his hand.

  “Take care of our girl” he said as Sam took his hand and shook it firmly.

  “I will” Sam replied. Simon turned and walked out leaving Sam sitting in the big church alone.

  He tried to process everything Simon had just hold him. He couldn’t believe Melanie could have gone through so much because of him and yet amazingly she still loved him. She loved him so much she sacrificed her own happiness because she didn’t want him to give up his dreams if a family.

  And the truth was he did dream having a family. But the only family he needed was Melanie. She was the only thing he ever wanted. Kids with Melanie would have been a bonus but Melanie was his future. She was the only one for him.

  He thought about how confused and frustrated he felt the night of her birthday as he waited for her to call him. If he had known she was fighting for her life he would have moved mountains to be with her. His heart ached as he thought of what Melanie must have gone through. He could have lost her completely and the thought makes him visibly shake.

  Why had she lied? Why had she pushed him away? Didn’t she realise how much he loved her? Did she even love him still?

  He had been so cold and cruel to her the week before. Maybe he had pushed her to far and she would want no more to do with him. The thought she could hate him made him feel sick to his stomach

  He needed to see her. But she was gone. She was gone to Boston. He wondered why. Maybe she had gone looking for him. Maybe there was hope for them after all.

  He stood up and left the church. He stopped a passing Taxi and headed back to his apartment. He had a plane to catch and a girl to find. And when he found her he was never going to let her go again.

  Chapter 29When Melanie landed in Logan airport, she headed towards the car rental area. Her Dad had not only booked her a ticket but had hired her a car and book her into a bed and breakfast on the Cape.

  When she got her car, she programmed the Satnav with the address of Sam’s parent’s beach house. It was still only early evening when she reached the beach house and she pulled up outside. It was exactly as she had remembered it. Before she got out of the car she pulled out her phone to text her Dad to let him know she had arrived safely and that she would call him later, then she sent Lucy a similar message.

  There were several missed calls from her Mom but Melanie just ignored them. She would talk to her later too. She needed to do this without having her mother put her on a guilt trip.

  She opened the car door and slowly walked up the pathway she had walked up so many times before. Memories of the time she spent here was so fresh and clear it made her smile. She walked up to the door of the beach house and took a deep breath before she knocked on the door. She waited for some sign of life from inside the house but it was completely silent. She sighed and stood for a moment wondering what she should do. She wondered if she should wait. Maybe he was just gone out for awhile and would be back soon.

  “I am afraid there is no one home” a man’s voice said from behind her. Melanie turned around and found a very attractive middle aged man standing smiling at her brightly. “There hasn’t been anyone here in weeks”.

  “Oh, right, thanks” Melanie replied trying to sound cheerful but failing miserably. Where was he if he wasn’t here? She had no idea what to do next.

  “Are you ok?” he asked kindly.

  “I’m fine” she replied and couldn’t help but laugh when she thought about what Sam would have said to that response.

  “Would you like to come in for a cool drink” he asked and smiled. “I just live next door”.

  “It’s Dan isn’t it” Melanie asked as she walked down the pathway towards him realising who the stranger was.

  “Have we meet?” the man asked looking at her, surprised that she seemed to know his name.

  “No” Melanie smiled. “But I did stay in your house for the summer a very long time ago, with my Aunt Maggie”.

  “You must be Melanie” he said and offered her his hand and she shook it firmly. Then his expression changed quickly to one of confusion. “I thought Maggie and Mark had gone back to Ireland for your wedding”.

  “It didn’t quite work out” she blushed.

  “Oh! Sounds like a fascinating story” he said offering her his arm. “Please do join me for a cool drink”.

  Melanie followed him up the pathway to his house. As Melanie stepped inside the house her heart lurched in her chest. It felt strange to be back here without Sam but it was just like she remembered it.

  Dan turned out to be the most charming and Melanie guessed very gay man she had ever met. She told him about what had happened wi
th Sam and Simon and he gasped at how her Dad had arranged for her to get away while everyone else was waiting for her at the church.

  “Your Dad sounds like someone very special” Dan said as he refilled her glass as they sat out on the back deck as they watched the sun go down.

  Dan said he could ring Sam’s folks and asked if they knew where Sam was if she wanted. She wasn’t really sure what she should do for the best. She really thought she would find Sam at the beach, she hadn’t really thought beyond that.

  When she told him she should really be on her way that she needed to go find the Bed and Breakfast she was booked into, he was having none of it. He insisted she stay with him saying sure they are practically family and that Maggie would have skinned him alive if she knew he hadn’t offered her a bed.

  So Melanie went and retrieved her bags from the car and suddenly she found herself in the room where she had shared so many amazing nights with Sam all those years ago.

  Later that night when she climbed back into the bed she almost felt like she had come home. She just wished Sam was there with her, holding her close in his arms.

  When she woke the next morning Dan was already in the kitchen cooking up a storm.

  “Good morning Melanie” he said cheerfully. “I hope you slept well. Breakfast is almost ready”.

  “I slept really well” she said as she took a seat at the table and she couldn’t help but picture Sam sitting next to her, with his messy hair and his beautiful smile. “I almost forgot how peaceful it is here at the beach. I missed it more than I realised”.

  “Well you are welcome to stay as long as you want to” he said as he placed her breakfast in front of her. “It gets a little lonely around here. So a little company is always welcome”.

  “Thank you Dan” she replied. “But I really don’t know what I am going to do next”.

  “Have you thought about calling him” Dan said sitting down across from Melanie.

  “I am not sure that he would even answer if I did” she admitted. “We didn’t exactly leave things on good terms”.