Heart of Clay (The Tanner Series Book 6)

by Jo Willow

  His head was in his hands and he was riddled with guilt. What had just happened had happened for a reason and it was a long time coming, but it didn’t make it any easier to live with or explain.

  “I can’t marry her now. Now after this. I don’t deserve her.”

  “Don’t be stupid. Don’t tell her Mitch. You don’t love me and I don’t love you. This is just something we both need, it doesn’t mean anything.”

  He looked at her. There was hay in her hair and several strands had escaped from her braid. He wanted to believe her. He wanted to believe that he could walk away from this, satisfied and done. What she said next told him he was lying to himself.

  “You want my mouth don’t you? You’re staring at my mouth and you’re wondering what it would be like. Oh Mitch... just one more and then I really have to go baby.”

  She pushed him and he fell back on the hay, his arm over his face. When he felt her tongue, he felt himself grow hard as a stone. When he felt her lips tighten around him and pull him in, he felt nothing but need.

  Marla was good. She made him pant and beg. She felt his hands in her hair as he held her head and thrust into her blind to anything but release. She swallowed and licked, making him growl and groan. She felt him grow harder and she thrust her face forward and swallowed him. He moaned her name and gripped her tightly, emptying himself. She swallowed quickly, making him convulse over and over. He finally pushed her away out of necessity.

  They were both panting, but they never broke eye contact. When she could collect a thought, she took a chance.

  “Lock up and come home with me Mitch. We obviously can’t spend the night here, but you could come home with me. Give me one night of greed and lust. Hold nothing back. Use me like you’ve wanted to. Do all the things to me you thought about in Europe. I want them all. You can leave in the morning early and get back before anyone even knows you were gone. Maybe that’s all it’ll take. One night and we’ll be free of each other forever.”

  He stood and arranged himself, buttoning his jeans. He took her hand and brought her to a standing position. She straightened her clothing and he took her hand again. He pulled her along, turning off lights, the wheel and the kilns. He peeked out the barn door and hit the light switch. Dragging her quickly behind him, he ran to the front of the house.

  Mitch pushed her against the side of her car and claimed her mouth in a searing kiss.

  “I’ll follow you home, but I’m leaving early. This is a one night deal Marla. Make it count.”

  She squeezed him through his jeans and he moaned.

  “I want to be sore when you leave Mitch.”

  He bit her on the neck and sucked softly. She moved restlessly against him, then broke free.

  “Keep up, I’m driving fast.”

  Mitch followed her out of the driveway and questioned his own sanity the whole way. She lived ten miles or so away and when he pulled in behind her, he almost told her he’d changed his mind.

  Her front yard was thick with trees and her fence was overgrown with hedges. It was dark and sheltered in her driveway. When she got out, she walked back to his truck and opened his door. She was naked from the waist up and he was doomed. His hands found her first, quickly followed by his mouth.

  She backed slowly towards the front door, her keys and her blouse in her hands. When she turned to unlock it, his hands grasped her from behind and his tongue traveled from her ear down her neck. She purred and he moved his hands down to her jeans.

  Once they were inside, he kicked the door closed behind them and reached back to lock it. She led him into her bedroom. She slid open the closet door next to the bed and reached inside. She tossed her blouse on the closet floor and placed her shoes on a shelf. She turned back to him and finished getting naked, but he was way ahead of her.

  He was naked and seated on the edge of the bed. When she got close enough, he grabbed her and pulled her with him as he fell back.

  He never saw the red blinking light in the closet, he was too distracted. After two hours, the camera ran out of videotape and shut itself off, but it had captured plenty and captured it clearly.

  Chapter Eleven

  Mitch was home before the sun came up, pacing in his kitchen. He sincerely believed he needed help, but he wasn’t sure where to go to get it. When he woke and realized what he’d done, he was horrified. That quickly changed to terrified when he reasoned out what Beth was going to do. He’d basically lit a match and torched every dream and every plan they’d shared and made.

  The desolation he felt was only made more complete in the solid knowledge that he didn’t love Marla. At that moment, he didn’t even like Marla. He believed that she’d come to the barn with one goal in mind and he’d helped her achieve it without batting an eye. He fell into every trap she set and did it naked and willingly. She’d torched his barn and trashed his gallery and he’d still spent the night going crazy on her. The things they’d done defied reason or explanation and he felt like he didn’t even recognize himself anymore.

  He started his third pot of coffee and looked at the clock. He’d give it another hour and then he’d call David. For some reason, he felt like David was the person he needed to talk to.

  David was sitting at the kitchen table with toast and coffee, wondering why he was up so early on a weekend. His lovely wife was soft, warm and sleeping and he was one piece of toast away from going back and joining her, when his cell phone rang. His eyes went immediately to the clock and he saw eight o’clock on the dot. There were very few people that would call him that early and every single one of them were either family or Phil. He answered the phone ready for anything.

  “It’s David.”

  “David It’s Mitch and I’ve got a serious problem.”

  “I happen to be alone and in possession of refreshments. You talk and I’ll listen.”

  For the next thirty minutes Mitch spilled his guts, including details that David didn’t need, want, or think he’d soon forget. He already hated a woman he’d never met. Now he was beginning to think his cousin was joining her on the list.

  “So after promising Beth that nothing like it would ever happen again, it happened again. On top of that, you promised her you’d tell her straight out if it did. Total disclosure. Right?”

  “Right. I don’t think I can do it David. I don’t think I can look her in the eye and tell her everything I just told you.”

  “I’ll tell you right now that you’d better not. If you’ve got half a brain you’ll leave out the details. Shit, I didn’t need the details Mitch. I’m starting to think you and Marla deserve each other. Before I rip you a new one and tell you I’m on Beth’s side, I have to ask you something. You called to ask me for help. What kind of help?”

  Mitch took a deep breath, put his head in his hand and closed his eyes.

  “I turn into a different person when I’m around Marla. A person I don’t like. David, I think there’s something wrong with me. I think I need professional help to figure this out and get past it. I’m not doing so well on my own.”

  “You mean like psychiatric help? You want to talk to a shrink?”

  “Don’t you think I need one? Do I not sound crazy to you? I feel crazy, used and confused in that order. I’m so close to throwing myself into a kiln, I’m afraid to go into the barn. David please. I don’t know who else to call. Doesn’t Kevin know someone he could recommend?”

  David listened to his cousin and trusted his gut. Mitch was in pain and he was in trouble. He believed he had a problem and David had to give him credit for asking for help. Mitch had never asked for any kind of help in his life. It must be serious if he picked something this personal to call him about.

  “Mitch, it just so happens that awhile back, we needed a shrink ourselves. A really good one. His name is Dr. Stephen Faust and he worked wonders for us. He even makes house-calls. Let me give him a call and set something up. I’ll call you right back after I talk to him. Okay?”

  “David,
I owe you for this and I won’t forget. I wouldn’t be asking for help, but I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m losing my mind over this and I know I’ll lose Beth and the kids. I can be alone again, but I want to be free of Marla. Something good has to come out of this.”

  “Let me call Stephen and you relax. If anyone can help you, it’s him. He worked miracles for us and he’s practically family. Relax and breathe and whatever you do, do NOT talk to Marla or Beth until I call you back. Got it?”

  “Got it. I’ll sit right here.”

  Marla heard him leave. She didn’t move because she didn’t think she could take anymore. She hurt in every possible way she could hurt and she knew he did too. They’d used each other completely up. She knew there would be other nights like that, whether he knew it or not. The next thing on her list was making sure of that.

  She got up and went to the closet. She ejected the tape from the camera and went to the living room. The camera was old, but that was on purpose. It used standard VHS tapes and her player was hooked up to a computer system that her old boyfriend had rigged up. She could download the video and then burn it onto a CD with minimal effort on her part. He’d taught her everything before she’d kicked him to the curb.

  She made a pot of coffee, popped the tape into the player and curled up on the sofa. When she started the playback, she was amazed at the quality. Their faces were clear, their activity undeniable. Some of it made her blush but all of it would make Beth livid. The fact that it was time and date stamped made it irrefutable. There was no way Mitch could plead, ‘ancient history’, it was what it was.

  Marla spent the next hour downloading it and she made three copies. One for herself, one for Mitch and one for Beth. She showered and dressed, then slipped two of the CD’s into two separate envelopes. She scribbled quick notes to each recipient, placed Beth’s note in Mitch’s envelope and vice-versa, then sealed them. She planned to deliver the CD’s herself to insure no slip-ups. Once everything was ready, she grabbed her purse and keys and ran out the door.

  Mitch was on the phone with Dr. Faust, outlining his problem and his fear. He liked the soft-spoken laid back doctor and thought he could work with him. Mitch agreed to meet him on Monday morning at ten o’clock at Tara. He felt more hope in that one conversation than he’d felt in the last several weeks.

  David made what Ian would have referred to as an, “Executive Decision”. He called Beth to have a serious conversation with her before Mitch could screw it up.

  He told her what happened in detail, then he told her about Mitch’s heartfelt plea for help.

  “David, he never asks for help from anyone for anything. What does he want help with exactly? Sounds to me like he can’t stay away from her. They deserve each other and they can have each other. I knew this would eventually break my heart. I’m done now.”

  “Beth wait. Please. I felt like you did when he first told me the story, but you didn’t hear him when he told it. He’s in real trouble here. He’s got a problem and I’m thinking she brings it out in him. She indulges and encourages it. He needs to get a handle on this before we judge him too harshly. I went through something with Claire awhile back and if I’d abandoned her at the first sign of trouble it would have been a huge loss for me. We’re more solid than we ever could’ve been if she hadn’t gotten help. Just don’t do anything rash right away. Let him talk to Dr. Faust and see what he says before you make any huge decisions. Please. Do you love him?”

  “I love him enough to want to marry him. I’m just not sure he loves me.”

  “Well I am. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t be worried so much. He’d just take off with her and be done. He adores you and those kids. He needs to know you’ll be on his side no matter what. I think he’s hit rock bottom Beth. He’s asking for help. That’s a major step for Mitch.”

  “David, I don’t know what to do. He wants to get married next Saturday. I can’t marry a man that sleeps with some whore every chance he gets. What does that say about me? What if the kids find out?”

  “I can’t make that decision for you Beth and I won’t even try to advise you on it. Only you know what you can and can’t do. You’ve got the family backing you no matter what you decide. We’ll be there for you. You’re a Tanner now just like he is. If you need to drop the kids off for awhile and deal with this on your own, that’s fine too. I’m sure we can keep them busy for awhile and they seem to like us just fine. I’ll leave that to you.”

  Beth though fast and made her own Executive Decision.

  “Could I bring them up this weekend? If I left now I could have them there by lunchtime. That would give me the weekend alone with him. I need some answers to some tough questions. If the kids are here and I don’t like what he tells me, I’ll be tempted to take them and leave. I need to work on that reflex.”

  David grinned and knew Beth would make a Tanner worth being proud of.

  “I’ll head over to Tara myself and explain the situation. We’ll be ready when you get there. Can’t wait to see you Beth.”

  “I’ll see you later David. Thanks for calling. Bye.”

  Beth was hanging up the phone and deciding what to pack when she heard a soft knock on her front door. It was barely nine o’clock and she thought for sure it was Mitch. Then she realized he’d be knocking or walking in the back door. Nobody used the front unless they didn’t know any better.

  She crossed the living room and opened the door to find herself staring at the whore herself.

  Marla had a smug grin on her face and a padded manila envelope in her hand. Beth was going to invite her in, but walked past her onto the front porch instead. She didn’t feel like being hospitable and she didn’t want to give Marla the impression that she was welcome.

  “What can I help you with?”

  Marla noticed the engagement ring Beth wore and any reservations she might have had about her course of action went up in smoke. She held out the envelope and Beth took it without opening it.

  “I think you should see that. I don’t know what Mitch has told you, but that CD is fairly self-explanatory. I’d hate to see you make the mistake of your life Beth. I assume you have a computer.”

  Beth didn’t like her tone or assumptions and it was a little too early in the morning to be throwing insults.

  “Why yes I do. I happen to have a personal one and one for the kids. I have indoor plumbing and a microwave oven too Marla. Imagine that.”

  Marla took a step back and was surprised by the sarcasm in her adversary’s voice.

  “I didn’t mean to insult you. If that was the case, I’m sorry.”

  “That’s exactly what you meant to do, you didn’t think I’d be smart enough to catch the slight. Tell me something. Does Mitch have a copy of what you just handed me? Does he know that I have this in my possession?”

  Marla tossed her hair back over her shoulder and stared at her trainers for a moment. She’d dressed down in jeans and a t-shirt in hopes of appearing on the same level as Beth.

  “I put a copy in his mailbox. He left my house very early this morning and I assumed he was sleeping. He has to be exhausted.”

  “I see. Well I’ll let him know he has mail when I see him. Is there anything else?”

  Marla looked her in the eye and never wavered.

  “You need to know I’ll fight for him Beth. I love him and I think that in time he could love me too. I intend to make him happy and I think we’ll be a good match.”

  That tore it. Beth heard several things in Marla’s statement and she’d told her more than Mitch could’ve in a week. She made a show of displaying her ring and saw Marla’s eyes dart to it before they returned to her own.

  “Interesting choice of words slut. You can love him all you want, but it won’t get you anywhere. He loves me. He put the ring on my finger, not yours. His family adores me and my kids, and Mitch has already decided to adopt them. We’re getting married sooner rather than later because we’ve waited long enough. Your tricks won’
t work. I suggest you cast your line elsewhere.”

  “I think you should watch the CD before you make blanket statements you may regret later. I’m not sure how any man that’s as committed as you say HE is, could do some of the things that are on that video Beth. You should withhold decisions regarding your future until you see it.”

  “I’ll tell you what. Let’s you and me go on over to Mitch’s house and see what he has to say about all of this. We’ll let him decide right now what he wants to do. What do you say?”

  Marla was visibly nervous. She was hoping for a few more encounters with Mitch before she forced the confrontation herself. She wasn’t prepared for his answer just yet.

  “I have an appointment in an hour Beth. Just watch the CD and talk to Mitch about what you see. See what he says.”

  “Oh I’ll see what he says alright. I hope you’re ready for whatever that might be. Goodbye Marla.”

  Beth went back inside and slammed the door. She was so mad she was shaking. Scott was standing in the dining room watching her.

  “Mom? You okay?”

  “Scotty, how would you like to spend some time at the Tanner place?”

  His face lit up and he grinned from ear to ear.

  “More Judo lessons?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Can I bring my bike?”

  “Yep.”

  “Can I swim in the pool?”

  “As long as there’s an adult present, yes.”

  “I’ll go pack!”

  Scott ran down the hall yelling for his sister. Beth went into the kitchen and picked up the phone.

  Mitch looked at the caller ID and picked up on the second ring.

  “Hey Beth.”

  “I just had a visitor and she gave me something interesting to watch. She seemed to think that it would make a huge difference in how I feel about us Mitch. She said she put a copy of it in your mailbox. Now this is what’s going to happen next. The kids are packing suitcases for a trip to your family’s place. They’re going to spend at least the weekend there to give us time to sort some things out. I want you to go out to your mailbox and retrieve the envelope that’s there and watch whatever’s inside. I’ll be at your place in about thirty minutes or so with my copy. You’re going to tell me whether or not it’s something I need to watch. Do we understand each other?”