Dance on the Wind

by Brenda Jernigan

“But we wouldn’t get to see her anymore,” Scott said, looking extremely unhappy.

  “No, Scott, we wouldn’t. But we want what is best for Amy. And we don’t know what is ahead of us. It would be harder for a baby to survive. I think MacTavish and Nettie are wonderful people and are much better equipped to take care of her.”

  “I’m sure going to miss them,” Mary and Ellen said at the same time.

  “I wish they were going to stay at the fort, but they have other plans. Let’s take a vote,” Brandy said as she stood. “All in favor of letting Amy go, raise your hand.”

  Everyone raised a hand and Brandy smiled. “Good. I think it’s for the best. Mary and Ellen, why don’t you go and tell Nettie the good news while I clean up.”

  Brandy gathered the dishes and took them to a wash pan. She thought of Amy and smiled. She knew they had done the right thing. A tug on her skirt drew her attention, and she looked around to see Scott standing beside her.

  “Why such a long face?” Brandy asked, already knowing the reason.

  Scott looked up at her with big brown eyes, and for a moment he just watched her. She saw the tears gathering. “You’re not going to give me away, too, are you?” he finally asked fearfully.

  “Of course not.” Brandy dried her hands on her apron, then stooped down and put her arms around Scott. “I wouldn’t have let Amy go if I didn’t think it was better for her.” She held him away from her. “Wouldn’t you like to have your own family?”

  Scott shook his head as he started to cry. “I like it with you and Billy and Thunder.”

  Brandy gathered Scott into her arms and hugged him tight. Scott sobbed on her shoulder, “Promise that you won’t ever leave me. I love you, Brandy.”

  Brandy choked. For a moment she couldn’t say anything. Because she realized that she had never had anyone to love her except for Father Brown, and now this little boy, the one she held in her arms, was offering her all the love he could give. As tears streamed down her cheeks, she finally managed to say, “I’ll never leave you, Scott. On that you have my promise.”

  He pulled away and looked at her, then said, “Why are you crying?”

  “Because you have made me realize that you and the others are my family and have always been. As long as we have each other, we’ll survive,” Brandy said around the lump in her throat as she pulled Scott back into her arms.

  “One way or the other we will survive,” she said in a broken whisper.

  15

  The sun was just starting to set when Brandy caught her first glimpse of Ft. Laramie and the Black Hills that lay just beyond it. The white building stood out from the brown grass and the green cottonwood trees that grew near the river. Ft. Laramie marked the gateway to the Rocky Mountains. The wagon train was now one-third of the way to Oregon and Brandy was at the end of her trail.

  She breathed deep, the air was so dry and clear it seemed to crackle.

  They had made it.

  Faintly she heard the rippling notes of a bugle and glimpsed the blue-clad soldiers going through their drills on the parade ground in the middle of the buildings that they called a fort.

  Ft Laramie wasn’t anything like Brandy had expected. She’d thought everything would be behind high walls. Instead, she saw open adobe buildings and wooden structures scattered in a square, with the middle open for a parade ground. The fort was beside the Laramie River, which provided them a good source of water. There were no watchtowers to warn of danger, so she felt Ft. Laramie was fairly peaceful.

  A rider from the front of the wagons galloped back, yelling, “Circle the wagons!”

  As was their custom, everyone began making their circle. They were experts by now, not making the same greenhorn’s mistakes that they had at the beginning of the journey.

  “Is this where we’re going to live?” Scott asked from the seat beside her.

  Mixed feelings surged through her. She was scared and very uncertain. She tried to force her confusion aside. Now was not the time for doubts. “I don’t know exactly where, Scott, but this is where we will leave the wagon train.”

  Scott pointed. “What are those things with the sticks sticking out of them?”

  “They’re teepees. Evidently the Indians camp here, too,” Brandy explained just as Ward rode up beside their wagon.

  “Lookin’ over your new home?” Ward asked as he dismounted his horse.

  “I think so,” Brandy replied, climbing down from the wagon seat. Then she turned and held her arms up for Scott to jump down to her. “You better go help Billy with the tent,” she told Scott with a pat to the rump.

  Once he’d left, Brandy asked, “Ward, can you tell me anything about the fort?”

  “It’s situated between the Laramie Creek and the North Platte, even though you only see one river now. I believe the fort was originally established in 1834 as an American fur trading post, but the government took over in ’49.”

  Brandy stared at the sun-dried bricks. “The fort is much older than I thought. I imagined it to be protected by high walls from the Indians, yet I see teepees all along the river.”

  “So far they haven’t had much trouble right around here, though that’s not the case in other places. The tribes come here to trade furs,” Ward said.

  “Thank you for explaining.” Brandy put her hands on the small of her back and stretched. “Where is Thunder?”

  “He’s ridden over to the teepees to see if anyone has news of his family,” Ward said. He adjusted his Stetson back on his head. “Is your future husband a soldier?”

  “I don’t know,” Brandy admitted in a small voice with a shrug. “I don’t know anything about him. His letter said to come to Ft. Laramie, and he would meet us here. It is still hard to believe that we’re here. I feel so far away from home.”

  “Young lady, you are far from the home that you knew. You should feel a little apprehensive—it’s natural.” Ward’s teasing laughter made her ease a little.

  “Your fiancé had no way of knowing when the train would arrive,” Ward said. He thought for a moment. “I’ll tell you what. The wagons will stay here for another day before moving on,” Ward said, folding his arms over his chest. “Tomorrow I will take you to the fort to meet the colonel. I hear they have a new officer called Colonel Jeb Moonlight. Never met the man, but we’ll do so tomorrow and see what he can tell us of your man. What’s his name?”

  Brandy frowned at the phrase “your man,” but she supplied the name. “Sam Owens. Thank you, Ward, for helping. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  Ward mounted his horse. “Cheer up, everything will turn out all right,” he said, then he rode off to another wagon.

  * * *

  Dinner didn’t consist of much: dried beans and biscuits. Their little party was in a somber mood as they ate, eyes cast down toward their plates. Brandy wasn’t sure she wanted to know what the children were thinking. Were they blaming her?

  “Look at all those long faces,” MacTavish suddenly said. “We should be rejoicing that we’ve made it this far and be very grateful we’re not buried back on that trail with all those poor folks who didn’t make it. Except for Mary trying to drown herself, we haven’t had much trouble to complain about.”

  Laughter erupted from all as they looked at Mary, who immediately began blushing. “It wasn’t funny at the time,” she finally said.

  “That’s much better. No more long faces.” MacTavish nodded with a chuckle.

  “We’re going to miss you after you leave,” Ellen said, and the rest of the children nodded.

  “Nettie and myself will definitely miss you children, too. But we’ll send word once we’ve found our piece of land, and if things don’t go right here, you’re more than welcome to come and stay with us.”

  At the moment, MacTavish’s idea sounded much better to Brandy than staying here, and it was on the tip of her tongue to ask if they could go with them now. Instead she said, “Thank you.”

  MacTavish pulled a pipe out of his poc
ket. “I have an idea. Tomorrow night I’ll think of a very special story to tell.”

  “All right,” the group chorused.

  The next thing Brandy knew, Thunder was standing beside her. She hadn’t even heard him approach, but that was usually the case.

  “Good evening,” Thunder said with a nod to everyone.

  “Would you care for some supper?” Nettie asked him.

  “I have already eaten, thank you.” Thunder looked at Brandy. “Come ride with me, Brandy.”

  Slowly, she got to her feet and followed him over to Lightning, where Thunder mounted first. “Do I need to saddle a horse?” she asked.

  “Not for this short ride.” He held his hand down to her. She grasped his arm and he swung her up effortlessly behind him. “Hang on,” he said, at the same time nudging his mount.

  Her arms snapped around his waist in a death grip, lest she fall off the horse. Since Thunder’s shirt was open she could feel his warm skin beneath her fingertips. She marveled at his muscles, and how good he felt in her arms. Smiling, she thought how much she liked touching this man. She would like it even better if she were sitting in front and he was holding her.

  “Where are we going?” Brandy asked.

  “To meet a friend.”

  They rode to the teepees where Thunder dismounted and helped Brandy down.

  There were many campfires throughout the small village, which was spread along the river bank. The smoke from the many fires filled the evening air with a fragrant haze. The brown teepees were covered with well-worn buffalo hides, the willow poles framing them against the sky. Men, women, and children went about their tasks, barely glancing at the newcomers. Brandy thought the circle of teepees reminded her of the wagon train in a way. Everyone had a job to do. Maybe there really wasn’t that much difference between the Indian and the white man.

  A short brave strode up to them. His long, black hair hung over his sun-bronzed bare chest. He had feathers in his hair and wore buckskin breeches. His black eyes twinkled in his dark skin, and she thought he had a trusting face.

  “Is this your woman, Thunder?” his deep voice rumbled in broken English.

  “Not my woman, but the one I spoke to you about,” Thunder said smoothly. He took her arm “Brandy, I would like you to meet Little Big Bear. He is from my tribe. We grew up together.”

  “It is nice to meet you.” She nodded at Little Big Bear. “How did you get your name?”

  Little Big Bear grinned, a smile that went from ear to ear. “You like my name?”

  She smiled easily. “It is different.”

  He chuckled. “My father’s name is Big Bear. I look like him, only not so big. The Medicine Man one day call me by my name. He say I growl like a bear.” Little Big Bear growled and held his hands up over his head. “Just like my father, but I was too small. Soon name stay with me,” Little Big Bear explained, then motioned with his hand. “Come. Sit. We will talk.”

  Brandy sat down at the fire. She liked the way the Indians’ names all had meanings to them She wondered what her name would have been probably Dumb Bear because of all the mistakes she’d made.

  “Brandy, how did you come by your name?” Little Big Bear asked. “It isn’t a white man’s name.”

  “My mother said my hair was the color of brandy and thus gave me the name.”

  “It is rare.” He nodded in agreement. “Maybe we would have called you Raging Fire.” He smiled at her.

  “That name would definitely fit her,” Thunder acknowledged with a knowing nod. She frowned at his jest.

  Thunder smiled at her displeasure. “Little Big Bear will be here for another month. If you find yourself in trouble, come to him.”

  “All right,” Brandy said with a smile and a nod to Little Big Bear. Then she asked Thunder the question she had dreaded all evening. “When are you leaving?”

  “Tonight.”

  Tonight. For a moment, she couldn’t breathe. Tonight kept echoing through her brain. He couldn’t leave so soon.

  She was losing him. She’d never see him again.

  It wasn’t fair.

  Life wasn’t fair.

  Would everyone that she truly cared about continue to walk out of her life and leave her behind? What was wrong with her?

  She took several deep breaths as Thunder and Little Big Bear continued talking about their tribe and what had happened since Thunder had left. Finally, Thunder stood and said, “It is time to go.”

  Brandy was so numb she could hardly move, but somehow she managed to stand and go through the motions of acting normal as she followed him to his horse. She could plead with him to stay, but she knew deep in her heart that it would do no good.

  They rode back to the wagon train in silence. They had just about reached the wagons when Thunder stopped and dismounted.

  He helped Brandy down, then let her lean against his horse. And before she knew what he intended, he leaned down and kissed her. The intimacy was slow and languid. A shudder rushed through her.

  His mouth moved hungrily over hers and her world careened crazily beneath the savage urgency of his demanding kiss. It was as if he were trying to tell her something through his actions that he couldn’t say with words.

  But she needed words.

  How did he feel about her?

  When he pulled back, he said, “I shall miss you.”

  Those were not the right words. Her world came crashing down. “Is that all you have to say?” she managed to get out.

  “You will be meeting your future husband in the next few days, and then you and the children will have a home. As I recall, this is the reason you came on the trip.”

  For a moment, Thunder wished things were different. Perhaps if she loved him they could somehow work things out but she belonged to another. When he brought the subject up, Brandy never denied that she had any other intention but going though with her agreement with this mysterious man.

  “He doesn’t know about the children,” she said softly.

  “What!” Thunder couldn’t believe what he heard.

  She flinched at the tone of his voice. And her heart thumped heavily as she raised her eyes to his. “I was afraid he wouldn’t send the money. And we had to get out of town.”

  He stared at her in total disbelief. “You are one crazy woman. What are you going to do if he refuses the children?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Well, it’s a fine time to be thinking about it now,” he gritted out slowly as he reached up and grabbed her arms.

  “It isn’t your problem,” she hissed in frustration. She knew what a risk she’d taken. “So don’t worry about it. I paid you to do your job and you’ve done it.” She jerked away from him. She wanted to hurt him the way he was hurting her. How could he just walk away after all they had shared?

  Thunder was torn. He knew he needed to stay. Brandy didn’t seem to realize what she was doing or just what could happen to her. Would he ever understand the woman?

  Hell, the man she was promised to would probably be glad to have the children just to get Brandy. His stomach twisted. He wondered why. Damn it.

  He couldn’t stay, he reminded himself. Little Big Bear had said Thunder’s mother was very sick, and he needed to go to find her. Little Big Bear had not mentioned Thunder’s father.

  Brandy would survive. She knew what she was getting into. She had more spirit than any woman he’d ever met, and deep down he admired that spirit no matter how frustrated she made him. She just didn’t know what she was capable of, because she’d never been put to the test.

  He reached for the reins. “I guess my job here is done.”

  Brandy moved away from the horse without touching him. She swallowed her pride. “Please don’t go.” He reached down and cupped her face. “There are reasons that I must leave.”

  And one of the reasons was that he didn’t want to be with any of them, Brandy concluded. She slapped his hand away from her face. Her anger built inside her. Let him walk aw
ay. That was what he always wanted to do. “If you ride out of here, I swear I’ll hate you until the day I die,” Brandy told him with a cold and slashing voice.

  “Hate is a strong emotion,” he said. He stared at her for a long moment. She wished she could see his eyes, but the darkness prevented it so she had no way of knowing how he felt at this moment.

  Without another word, he turned his horse and left her staring at his back. Panic like she’d never known welled in her throat as she watched him ride off. She crumpled to the ground and sobbed. Her heart was truly broken.

  Why hadn’t she told him that she loved him? Would he have stayed? She wept some more. Instead, she’d told him just the opposite . . . she’d said she hated him.

  Now she’d lost him forever.

  Suddenly, a hand touched her arm and she jerked. Had Thunder come back? She turned around, only to find Billy. She really didn’t want him to see her crying, but it was too late for that, and seeing him made her cry just that much harder.

  Billy pulled her next to him and gave her a hug. “You want to tell me what’s wrong?”

  “He—he left,” she sobbed.

  Billy rubbed her back. “Your future husband? I didn’t know you’d seen him.”

  Why did everyone constantly remind her of that man? “No. Th-Thunder.” She shook her head miserably.

  “You knew he was going to leave sooner or later.”

  “I know, but I didn’t expect it to be so soon. I liked him.”

  Billy held her away from him. “Liked?”

  Brandy straightened and wiped the tears from her face. “Yes, liked.”

  “Humph.” Billy grunted and arched a brow. “I seen you two. When you weren’t fightin’ I’d say you were sweet on him. Come on, let’s go back to the wagon.”

  “Well, he’s gone now,” Brandy said.

  “He had good reason.”

  “Yes, I know.” Brandy nodded. “He wanted to see his people.”

  Abruptly, Billy stopped and turned to look at her. “He didn’t tell you?”

  “Tell me what?”

  “His mother is very sick,” Billy said as they started walking again. “Somebody down at the river told him.”