by John Goode
“It’s the law!” Childs tried to rally. “We can’t do anything until Monday when we can find a judge.”
Gayle looked back at Billy. “I’m giving you one chance right now. Get out of that room and leave this town.”
Billy looked like he was going to throw up, but his meathead son wasn’t impressed.
“Or what? We ain’t going nowhere.”
And let me tell you, that was the moment things went south for Billy.
“Later, when you wonder why this is all happening to you,” Gayle said to Billy, fury making her voice soft and ice-cold, “I want to you to realize that you had an out and refused to take it. Timing’s always been your problem, Billy; you don’t know when you’ve pressed your luck too far and you end up eating shit.”
She took a half step toward him, and both Billy and Troy took a step back.
“Prepare to eat shit.”
And without another word she did an about-face that would have made a Marine DI take notice and strode out of the ICU.
“And she was worried about me?” the old man said, taking a deep breath before following her.
The nurse and Childs began talking, and I looked at Tyler. “What just happened?”
“Billy is about to find out why no one in this town ever tries to fuck over Gayle.”
I couldn’t imagine anyone trying, but the tone of his voice made me crack up. “Come on, Tyler, it’s not like she’s a mob boss or something.”
Tyler looked at me, dead serious. “No, she is much, much worse.”
And look at that. It’s vodka time again.
Brad
SO I got most of my stuff into Colt’s place in under an hour.
Bruce seemed pretty chill with the arrangement, but then again I couldn’t blame him. He probably thought this meant full-time sex options for him since we had already done it. As soon as Colt was out of earshot, I decided to set that straight.
“Look, man, I appreciate you letting me stay here, but what happened before? It isn’t going to happen again.”
He just smiled at me. “If you say so, but I have a feeling it isn’t over yet.”
Wow, I thought Colt had an ego on him.
“Dude, no offense, but it’s over.”
He shrugged with that same smile. “We’ll see, but I have faith.” I was going to continue arguing, but he patted me on my back and walked away. I swear I was never going to understand this whole gay thing.
I left my clothes in my suitcase and just propped it over in the corner since I didn’t have a closet. The bathroom was crammed with hair and teeth products, so mine fit in perfect with theirs. I sat down on the couch and tried not to be depressed while Colt and Bruce discussed what they were doing that night.
“I have the night off, but I’m going because I heard that hottie from Australia is still in town,” Colt said from his room.
“His name is Reggie, you know,” Bruce called from his room.
“I could care less what their names are when they’re face down in my bed” was Colt’s answer.
“He’s a nice guy,” Bruce argued.
“And he has the perfect ass,” Colt tossed back. “It’s just begging to be plowed.”
I turned on their PS4 and skimmed the games they’d loaded on it.
“Brad, you’re coming, right?” Colt asked from the hallway.
“Nah,” I yelled back, selecting Need for Speed. I seriously needed to hit something hard.
“Oh, come on!” Colt whined. “Dude, you need to get back on that horse—or find a horse to get back on you.”
“Dude,” Bruce called out. “Too soon.”
“Oh, come on. So his boyfriend bailed on him? Look at him. Tell me he can’t find a dozen guys willing to crawl through broken glass to suck him off.”
“You know I can still hear you, right?”
“Dude, you know you’re smoking,” Colt shouted. “Ain’t no shame in denying your own hotness.”
“Yeah, not denying anything, but I’m not going,” I said, loading my virtual car.
There was silence, and then Colt stood in front of me in a thong so small it could be called a jockstrap in a pinch. “Dude, you can’t stay here and pout.”
I wished Colt wasn’t connected to his body, because he was ridiculously hot, but there was nothing appealing about him as a person, which I think he didn’t get. In a picture, he’d be smoking hot, but the moment he opened his mouth, the whole façade was crushed and you knew he was a douchebag.
“Man, don’t you ever wear clothes?” I asked, turning back to my game.
“What?” he said with a lewd smile. “You saying you don’t like what you see?”
“I’m saying you need some pants.” I still didn’t look at him.
“Come on, Brad,” he whined, jumping on me. I cried out as he pinned me to the couch. “Come out with us,” he pouted, his nearly naked body over mine. “It’ll be fun,” he added in a tone I figure he thought was seductive.
He just sounded like a dimwit.
“Dude. Get off me now,” I warned with no humor in my voice at all. He laughed until I grabbed his shoulders. “I’m not kidding.” I pushed him off me and tossed him to the floor.
“Oh, come on! I’m just messing with you,” he protested.
I picked up the controller. “Yeah, well, with a dick that small, I assumed it was a joke.”
I glanced down at his package, and it was pretty clear he was hard. His face flushed and he stood up, pissed. “Fine, stay here and be a fuck. I don’t care.” He took a few steps toward his room and stopped. “And it’s average, thank you very much.”
I glanced back at him and his now half-hard dick. “Yeah, if you did your measuring in junior high.” I heard Bruce burst out laughing as Colt stomped off to his room and slammed the door.
I played the game and tried not to think of Kyle.
After about an hour, Bruce came in and sat down in the chair, watching me play. “You’re pretty good,” he said after a while.
“A friend and me used to play online all the time,” my mouth answered before my brain could stop it. The next memory was Kelly’s voice over the headset, calling every person we trashed a fag.
I turned off the game and tossed the controller onto the table.
“You were winning,” Bruce said, shocked.
“Not in the mood,” I said, lying back on the couch. What was I doing there? This was stupid; I had no future there. Well, fuck, I had no future anywhere, but less of one there. I so badly wanted to just call my parents and tell them I was coming home, but I knew my dad would get pissed. Maybe not vocally, but I could hear his thoughts. “You threw A&M away for this? How long are you planning on sponging off of us?”
I shuddered at the thought.
“You okay, man?” Bruce asked, breaking me out of the jail cell I’d thought my way into.
“Nope,” I answered truthfully. “Not even a little.”
“It’ll get better, man. It has to.”
Man, it was so sad that he was right.
“So shouldn’t you be getting ready?” I asked him.
He shook his head. “Nah, the club thing every single weekend gets old. Always the same guys, always the same music—I mean, what’s the point?”
“He seems to like it,” I said, jerking a thumb toward Colt’s room.
Bruce gave a bitter laugh. “Colt likes anything that gets him attention. If he was a little dumber, he’d just stand in front of the mirror and try to flirt with himself.”
“Never work,” I said, pausing for effect. “He’d just be pissed the other guy was a bottom too.”
Bruce looked at me for a few seconds and then burst out laughing. “Dude, that was a sick burn.”
“Thank you,” I said, bowing my head in way of a royal acknowledgement.
“He talks all that plowing shit, but trust me, first sign of a dick and his legs are up and spread.”
Now I started laughing. “I did not need that image.”
I almost fell off the couch, I was laughing so hard. It took almost a minute for me to stop; tears were falling down my cheeks as I sat up. “You know, man, I hate what happened between Kyle and me, but I’m glad it was with you. You seem pretty cool.”
He paused and then nodded. “Thanks, I think. I mean, you seem pretty chill also.”
“I try.”
He smiled. “Well, you succeed.”
“So you wanna go in on a pizza if you’re staying home?” I asked, knowing I didn’t have enough money on me to cover it myself.
“Sure,” he said, pulling out his cell phone. “You watch Doctor Who? ’Cause the new season starts tonight and I was—”
There was a banging on the door; we both jumped.
“What the hell?” Bruce said, getting up to answer it. “Sounds like the cops are here.”
He opened the door and Jennifer barged right in, followed by Matt and some other guy. “Get your stuff,” she said to me, ignoring Bruce completely. “We have to get going.”
What the fuck?
“What are you doing here?” I asked, getting up slowly. This all felt like a dream; there was no way this could be happening for real.
“Getting you,” she said curtly. “Get your stuff.”
This was really happening.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I said, trying to get my feet under me. “I could have told you that before you came.”
Matt put a hand on her shoulder and pulled her back. “Brad, Kyle needs you right now. Grab your stuff and let’s go.”
I felt the familiar panic in my chest whenever I thought Kyle was in trouble, but the guilt overcame that. “Look, Matt, I appreciate you guys coming out here, but trust me, Kyle is better off without me there. You made a trip for nothing.”
“Goddammit, Brad,” Jennifer snapped. “This is not the time for you feeling sorry for yourself; Kyle needs you right now. His mother is—”
“I cheated on him,” I blurted out, cutting her off.
She paused, mouth open in shock.
“There? Happy? I cheated on him and there’s no taking that back. I fucked everything up and it’s my fault.” I felt like crying again. “Trust me, Kyle is way better without me.”
“How could you cheat on him?” Jennifer asked, the color coming back to her face.
“I was drunk and….” Somehow telling her I was wasted on drugs too didn’t feel like the right move. “I just fucked up, okay?”
“Who with?” Matt asked.
“Him.” I pointed to Bruce.
Bruce, who was still by the door, looked behind him. “Are you pointing at me?”
“Dude, you don’t need to lie, man. It happened and I need to own up to it.”
He looked really confused for a second, and then his expression changed to anger. “And who told you this?” I opened my mouth, but he held a hand up. “Right, don’t tell me.”
And then yelled at the top of his lungs. “Colt!”
The back bedroom door opened and Colt came charging out, a pair of skinny jeans on and nothing else. “What the fuck do you—” And he saw the living room full of people. “—want?”
“Did you tell Brad we fooled around?”
“You and me?” Colt asked dimly.
“Brad and me! Did you tell Brad that he and I fooled around?”
“Um… didn’t you?”
Oh my God, I was so stupid.
“This is low even for you,” Bruce said.
“What? I made a mistake,” Colt whined. When he saw no one was buying it, he added, “It was an accident.”
“Right, like when you accidentally dosed his drink. Or when you accidentally posted the picture of his underwear on Facebook?” Bruce was livid now and roared, “Fuck this!” as he charged at Colt.
“Okay,” the strange guy in the room said, holding Bruce back. “Now that things are starting to make sense, let’s all take a breath. Brad?” He looked at me, and I nodded. “Get your stuff together; we need to get going.” He looked at Colt. “Walk back to your room. Do not say another word; just turn around and walk.” And then to Bruce, “Your roommate is a sleazebag and not worth the effort. If you beat him up, he’ll just call the cops, and you’ll be the one paying for it. Let this one go.”
Colt turned around and half ran back to his room, and Bruce shrugged the guy off and nodded.
“Jennifer, help Brad grab his stuff. Matt, make sure this guy stays here. I’m going to go talk to our criminal mastermind.”
Matt didn’t seem too pleased, but he nodded, and Jennifer walked toward me and pointed to my suitcase. “That your stuff?”
“Yeah,” I said quietly. “Who’s the new guy?”
“Robbie’s. I’ll explain on the plane.” She put a few of my things in the suitcase. “You did drugs?”
“Not on purpose!” I shot back.
“Okay, fine, but you’re living with the guy who drugged you?”
She had me there.
Ignoring her logic, I asked, more to myself, “I didn’t cheat on Kyle?”
She shook her head. “Not sure why you’d think you could.”
I gave up for nothing?
Matt
ONE SECOND the apartment was like a Three Stooges movie, the next Sebastian was giving orders like he was a drill sergeant. I mean, sure, they were good orders, but still. I watched Sebastian follow the shirtless guy to his room, and then I looked back at the black kid. “Stay here. Got it?” He nodded.
“Matt,” Jennifer hissed at me as I sneaked down the hallway.
I thought I was going to have to listen at the door, but it was partially open.
“Look, you need to listen to me right now. You don’t know it, but you’re in a lot of trouble, and I can help you get through it.”
“Dude, I don’t even know who you are,” Colt said.
“Sure you do. I’m you in ten years.”
There was silence while the kid obviously gave Sebastian a disbelieving look.
“It’s true, and though I may not have driven a DeLorean here, I can prove it.”
“Go for it.”
“Where should I start? You are an only child, you played sports from a young age, realized you liked guys but hid it from everyone growing up. Moved away to a big city, found out you were considered young and hot by other gay guys. Had a lot of sex, broke a lot of hearts, and then found a guy you liked who was a little older but was too busy playing the field to notice you for more than a fuck. After that you said screw it, had a lot of sex because if you can’t get one guy to like you then having a lot of guys fuck you is just as good in the long run. You say you just want to have fun, but you see a real couple in love and it kills you because you think you’re the perfect guy if someone would just give you a chance.”
There was silence from the room.
“I’ll take that as a ‘close enough.’ So, see, I know you because I was you, so let me tell you how this turns out. You keep having random sex with guys, but it gets harder and harder to keep up. There is a new group of fresh-faced, hot-ass guys always walking through the door, and you’re just the… stripper? Barista?”
“Barback.”
“You’re the cute barback who has a rep of being a slut, so no one will think about dating you. So with lack of a love life, you just try to score with the hottest guys you can get and think that shows you have value in the world. Well, listen. It doesn’t. See, every time you fuck someone trying to get some kind of value out of it, all you do is give something of yourself away. At first it’s not large and most of the time not noticeable, but it’s there and then it’s gone. Piece by piece, it just goes away until there’s a hole inside of you, an aching hole that’s screaming for someone to notice you and to love you. But that’s not going to happen, because you’re just the cute slut that everyone has fucked and no one is going to date. So you feel worse about yourself
, and so you sleep with more guys to try to make yourself feel better.”
He paused for a moment.
“But you don’t. In fact, every time you have sex you ask yourself, will this be different? Will this guy talk to me? Want to stay after? But they don’t because you’re the best-looking moped in the world. People love to ride you but, trust me, they don’t want their friends to see them doing it. So where does that leave you? Dosing guys’ drinks and trying to break them and their boyfriends up in hope that they’ll go out with you? Do you think a guy like Brad would fuck you, much less date you? After you doing all that? What in the world would make you think that was okay?”
I couldn’t see in the room, so the kid’s sobbing took me by surprise. “I just want someone to love me. How hard is that?”
Sebastian didn’t even pause. “Impossible as long as you hate yourself. And you do hate yourself, Colt. It shows with every breath you take. You think people look at you and think you’re hot or in shape, but honestly, they look at you and think, ‘What a fucking loser.’ You know why? Because it’s the same thing you see when you look in the mirror.”
The kid was bawling now, and I didn’t blame him.
“You want to meet someone? You want to fall in love? Then realize it’s not about the way you look or how in shape you are. It’s about what kind of person you are. Anyone who is going to go out with you because of the way you look isn’t going to care about what’s inside. You’re coming up on your expiration date, when you’re going to stop being a cute kid and start being an okay-looking adult and then shift right into a skeevy-looking old man who never settled down and hits on every hot thing that walks into the bar. Maybe you own a gym, maybe you run a club, but you’re going to be that pathetic old man who is still chasing tail when everyone else he knew is long settled down and married. Is that what you want?”
A heartbreaking “No” came from Colt.
“Then change. Now. Because if you don’t, you’re going to find out the harsh truth about being in shape and good-looking.”
There was a pause, and I could imagine Colt looking up at him with tear-filled eyes. “What?”
