Admittedly, there was a little truth to what she said, but in my defense, my need to prove myself had nothing to do with threats to my masculinity and everything to do with Desmond thinking I was weak because I am a martyr soul.
“Look, I may not be big and burly, but I am perfectly fine with that,” I said, hoping to quickly change the subject. “All I want to know is who we were, what our relationship was, and if I martyred myself.”
“Going back how long?”
“I don’t know. Maybe just a couple of cycles.”
“Okay, give me a second,” she said, putting down her phone and turning to look at me. I did everything I could not to look away. Soul gazing doesn’t hurt exactly, but there’s a certain level of squeamishness and uncomfortable vulnerability when the person who can see more of your soul than you ever could is staring you in the eye. Nai’s smirk certainly wasn’t helping the situation.
“Okay you sacrificed yourself for Desmond and a bunch of other slaves. I’m not going into it. It’s not pretty,” she said with a grim look.
“Thank you for that,” I said. I didn’t have to know. Given what Desmond described, I could already imagine that Sarah had died a horrific death. “Prior to that?”
“A servant. You threw yourself in front of Desmond when raiders tried to take his land. You died. He lived. He named his son after you.”
Well then, that sounded promising.
“Oh! Oh! Not cool, Seth!”
“Excuse me?”
Nai’s tone was angry and accusatory.
“Ugh! You guys were crusaders. Do you even realize how many innocent women you killed in the name of a god that totally doesn’t exist?”
I winced, not just at Nai’s tone, but at the accusation itself. I guess I couldn’t expect that I was a good soul in every cycle. After all, a balanced soul did things that were both right and wrong. But from everything I’d read of crusaders, especially what they’d done to women accused of witchcraft, my stomach turned.
“You can’t blame us for doing what would have been considered standard at the time,” I reminded her. “Although I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention that to anyone, especially the coven…” I rambled. “Anyway, did I-” I began, but she cut me off.
“Yeah, you totally took one for the team here. Desmond did something horrible and you took the fall for it. I am not going to tell you what he did because, ew, I like Desmond and don’t want to remember this. Moving on!”
She shook herself slightly, but continued to keep her eyes locked on mine. After a moment, the pained expression went away and she smiled.
“Aw, well, there, now you’ve sort of redeemed yourselves. You were sisters. Not like, family sisters. You were nuns, but you did nice things. You took care of the sick and fed the poor. And you guys were totally in love.”
“With… each other?”
“Yeah, this looks like it was somewhere back in the dark ages, so I’m sure it was frowned upon, but you and Desmond were totally lovers. Oh, well, it would have been sweet, but you were caught and you said that the devil possessed you in order to spare Desmond any punishment. You really have this thing about dying, don’t you? Oh yeah, you’re a martyr soul, duh.”
“Alright,” I said, breaking away from her gaze. “That pretty much told me all I need to know.”
“Does it? Because there’s a ton more and I haven’t even gotten back to the tenth century BC yet.”
“Do I, rather, did I martyr myself in every life?”
“That I saw? Yeah. And yeah, you did it to save Des in every cycle.”
Well. That was certainly interesting.
“I um… I don’t need to impress upon you how important it is to keep what you know to yourself, do I?”
“Uh, Seth? If that was supposed to be a threat, you really need to work on your tough guy act.”
“It was more of a request,” I said with a look that hopefully conveyed the importance of keeping the information to herself. To my surprise, instead of making a snarky comment, she got up, smiled, and patted me on the cheek.
“Your secret’s safe with me, Seth, but I wouldn’t keep it a secret from everyone forever, you know.” She gave a meaningful look at the closed basement door before grabbing up her bag and heading out the back door. She was right, but that didn’t stop me from being properly shocked. I guess everyone was being affected by whatever this change was that was coming.
It took me a moment, but I knew I couldn’t avoid it any longer. Steeling myself for a confrontation, I opened the basement door.
And immediately froze.
I don’t know which had me more scared, facing Desmond or facing my own insecurities. Either way, I wasn’t doing a very good job of facing anything.
“Hello Seth.”
There was a cautious wariness in his voice that was understandable. After all, I’d opened the door and stood paralyzed for I don’t know how long while I tried to put one foot in front of the other.
“Hey. Can I…um… that is, can we talk for a moment?”
“Certainly, if you want to talk about the new renovations.”
“Renovations?” Well, that was not the reply I was expecting. “But we just updated everything a few weeks ago.”
“Yes, but I’ve been thinking we might as well rip out the hardwood and replace all of the flooring with eggshells.”
Ouch.
Admittedly, it was an impressive zinger and had it been aimed at anyone else, I might have told him as much. Instead, I proceeded to trip over my own tongue trying to form the vague ideas in my head into logically arranged words. Clearly, I hadn’t completely thought through what I was going to do or say, which seemed to be a disturbing trend recently. I couldn’t help but think back to the conversation I’d had with the Creator right before Desmond’s arrival. It had been expecting my resignation.
I’d balked, of course. Looking back now, I recognized my objection for what it was: a hotheaded response to what I had seen as an attack on my character. I could not deny what everyone else already knew. All I could do was hope that Desmond was able to pick through my insecure babbling and piece together the important points I was trying to make.
“Seth.”
I jumped. I didn’t mean to, but something in the way Desmond said my name caused a reaction that both scared and confused me. I was so distracted by my own emotional turmoil that I’d failed to notice that he was no longer shielding his own confused emotional state.
“You, that is, Sarah always said that my size, my physical strength, was wasted on me.”
“I don’t understand,” I said confused more by the strange, sad smile he wore as much as his cryptic message.
“She, that is, you were poking fun at me. Imposing I may be, but I was never the strong one. That was you. Always you and… Seth… you’re still…”
He broke off and turned away, but not before I saw reflected in his eyes the same conflicted emotions that warred within me. Though what I felt… that is, other than the waves of confusion that I know I mirrored, was something else entirely. Something that seemed a lot like… Well, like something I wasn’t sure I was ready to consider just yet.
“I um… I had Nai soul gaze me,” I stammered. I wasn’t quite sure how to present her findings, or for that matter, what exactly it was that I thought telling Desmond would do, but before I could say much of anything, we were interrupted.
Had Donna not chosen that very moment to barge in on us, I can’t be sure what my next action would have been. In a way, I was grateful for the distraction, but on the other hand, we hadn’t finished anything. At some point, we were going to have to confront all of our issues, even the ones that made us uncomfortable. And I knew that the longer we waited, the harder it was going to be.
We didn’t get a chance to continue our conversation on the ride out to Myrna’s, mainly because we had a whole lot of something else to discuss. Specifically, whether or not this summons was a good idea and whether we were just escalating
the inevitable. Again, my gut was telling me to relax, even though everything else was telling me to panic. In a way, that should have panicked me. These weird little gut instincts were coming more frequently every day and I could no longer ignore them.
“Wow,” I heard Desmond exclaim with a low whistle as we followed the torch lit stone path into the woods.
“Myrna’s living sculpture is quite impressive,” I agreed, marveling at the way the dryads almost seemed to dance in the low, flickering light.
“That they are,” Desmond agreed. “But that wasn’t the reason for my exclamation. That is.”
He pointed beyond the trees and into the clearing, where nearly the entire mystic community had gathered. That in itself was quite a feat. I couldn’t even remember the last time they had all been in the same place at the same time, let alone working together. On one hand, it was inspiring to see that they had the ability to put aside their differences and come together when the need arose, but on the other, the fact that there was a need did not bode well.
Something told me that there was more to the gathering this evening than just to call upon Donna’s sire. Again, logic was screaming for me to warn everyone, to put everyone on guard just in case the worst happened, but the gut was telling me to stay silent.
“Someone please tell me I’m hallucinating.”
“Hmm?” I turned to see what it was that had Desmond questioning his lucidity and immediately bit down the reactionary comment that was on the tip of my tongue. Bogie was coming up the path, a large, flat stone hoisted over his head. Not that there was anything odd about that. He was pretty strong as it was and was likely using magic to lighten the load now that he was unfettered. However, the fact that he was unglamoured and dressed in the ceremonial garb of the high priest was certainly interesting if not surreal and slightly comical.
“Oh good, you’re both here.”
Myrna waved us over to where she was standing with Jem, Nai, and someone I didn’t recognize. As we got closer, I realized who the other figure was and had to laugh. Desmond raised his eyebrows at me and I shook my head.
“I’m getting older than I care to admit,” I said with a gesture toward the ‘person’ I hadn’t recognized. While Myrna’s work was life-like, I really didn’t have much of an excuse for mistaking the golem, made of mud, moss, and stone, for a living person. At least not yet.
Desmond merely raised an eyebrow at me before he went off to help Harry set up the summoning fire. I was rather intrigued by the concept and admittedly a little worried as well. I’d only ever seen the holy fires used for the destruction of a vessel, never for a summoning. That there was very little difference in how they were set up made me grateful to be an agent of Order and not a spectral Discordant.
“Seth, perhaps you and the Guardians can form the binding triad,” Myrna said looking over the motley crew of mystics and agents. I still had doubts as to whether or not this was going to work, but I was willing to help if it meant we could solve at least one problem facing the town.
“Certainly, Myrna,” I said with a smile.
“Oh good! And there’s Donna with the cord.”
I took the coiled cord and handed one end to Jem and the other to Nai, who looked at the frayed tassel dubiously.
“Um, isn’t this just one of the curtain ties from the living room?”
I vaguely remembered Donna saying something about taking the curtain ties when she showed up earlier but to be honest, I was only half-paying attention thanks to everything else that had been on my mind at the time.
“Appears to be,” Myrna said with a shrug before I could answer. “But it’s tacky enough to draw Fa’s attention, so it should work perfectly.”
I opened my mouth to protest the tackiness of the cord but Myrna had already moved on and Nai was smirking at me.
“You think the cord is tacky?”
“I didn’t say anything at all,” she said with a smirk, adding as she walked off to her corner, “At least you were secure enough in your masculinity to buy curtains.”
Even if I’d had a retort, she was gone before I could say anything. Besides, it wasn’t as if I didn’t deserve the barb.
As soon as she and Jem were in place, I could feel the swell of energy surround us and Myrna was already calling Donna into position. I didn’t have any more time to worry about my home decorating skills or their effect on my masculinity. The ceremony was about to begin.
Chapter 12
Happily Never After
For the sake of everyone in the glade, it was a damned good thing that the binding triad had worked. Had I been allowed access to the power of the outer circle, well, I don’t really want to think about what I might have done. As it was, I could already feel what power I did have at my disposal manifesting into something tangible. It would not have surprised me to find out that my eyes were glowing.
“What do you mean, you can’t?” I asked in a low, menacing growl that I barely recognized as my own voice.
“I mean, I am physically incapable of removing the curse from you.”
“But it was your curse!”
All pretense of keeping my temper in check went out the window as I pulled the taped together letters out of my pocket and shook them at him.
“I have the proof!”
“Well, yes,” he said with a sigh, leaning back as far as the restrictions of the summoning would allow. “But you see, Madonna, there is something you have not taken into consideration.”
“And that is?”
“I’m not the one who cast the spell.”
“But it was at your insistence,” mom reminded him, but dad only shrugged.
“I’m afraid that doesn’t matter. I am unable to reverse what has been done.”
“You’re lying,” mom spat.
“But I’m not,” he said with a deep sigh. “Get as angry as you’d like, but there isn’t a damned thing I can do. Trust me, had I known that my actions would cause the incubus sire to, ahem, act a fool, as the kids say, I would have reconsidered allowing the spirit walker her revenge.”
“Excuse me?”
From the shift in energy, it seemed it was now mom’s turn to get angry.
“You were the one who put the idea into her head,” she hissed. “You were the one who brought about her ruin. Don’t you dare try to shift the blame onto Taffy.”
Dad’s shoulders heaved in a heavy sigh.
“You’re allowing some misguided loyalty to speak for you, Myrna. You know as well as I that Taffy Reese was manipulative, petty, and power hungry. She saw you as her competition. Competition, I might add, that she could not hold a candle to in either the looks or power department. Her decision to exact her revenge, while seeming to work in my favor, was her own.”
Although she ignored his flattery and continued to seethe, I could see the wheels turning in mom’s head. What dad said did not come as a shock. At least not to me. Taffy always flaunted what she had in front of mom and as soon as I came of age, she began to transfer some of that jealousy to me. She may have been a mystic, but she was never a good person.
“You do know that I have the ability to keep you here forever, don’t you?”
“I am well aware, Myrna,” he said with a sigh. “And while I appreciate this exquisite body, I am already aware of the, ahem, artistic license you took with regard to certain items. Rather, the very specific lack.”
I hadn’t realized he would notice so quickly, but mom didn’t seem worried.
“I can do worse than that, you know,” she threatened.
“I’m sure you can, but you can’t get blood from a stone. Taffy Reese placed the spell and Taffy Reese is the only one capable of removing it.”
“And Taffy Reese is dead,” mom growled. “Whether she had an agenda or not, I refuse to believe that you would simply give over the kind of power needed and take nothing in return.”
At that, dad laughed.
“Of course not! You can’t imagine the wealth of informat
ion I pulled from the walker’s head, but the ability to reverse the spell was not part of the bargain. Believe me, Myrna. You have no idea what my error in that regard has cost me. The time Clyde has spent courting my daughter has put the House of Fa Be’yoh in jeopardy. Had she been allowed a normal life, he would not have been able to get close enough to form an infatuation. He would still be a productive member of my house. I’m sure Madonna can attest to his dalliances.”
“Wow, way to piss off mom and throw the ball into my court,” I said with an angry glare. “It’s almost like we’re a real dysfunctional family.”
“You can continue to make colorful commentary, but you know nothing will change,” he said in a voice that did indeed sound like a parent chastising a petulant child.
“He’s right,” I admitted to mom with a defeated shrug. “I don’t know what else to do…”
It took all of my strength, but I managed to hold myself together. After all, it wasn’t the end of the world. So I was doomed to spend the rest of my life alone. Big deal. Sex wasn’t everything.
Oh, who am I kidding?
Of course I was freaking out. It wasn’t fair. I was only twenty-three and I was not cut out for celibacy. Even worse, I didn’t know if I was going to be able to get Clyde out of my head and I definitely did not want to spend the next fifty or more years dealing with that mess.
“Uh… Is there a way to transfer the curse?”
All heads, including mine, whipped around to where Nai stood holding her corner of the binding cord. I honestly hadn’t thought she was physically capable of embarrassment, but even in the fire light, I saw her cheeks flush red under the scrutiny. Dad looked over at her and Jem as if noticing them for the first time.
“Twin souls and… Nyx? No… yet…”
“That’s a nice thought, Nai,” I said, cutting dad off. I really didn’t like the interest he was showing in the kids. “But that would be pretty cruel, don’t you think?”
“Not necessarily,” she said carefully, shifting slightly. She too had picked up on dad’s keen interest. “What if they volunteered?”
I studied Nai closely. There was something she wasn’t telling me.
Friends without Benefits (Rise of the Discordant Book 4) Page 15
