by Lucy Coleman
‘See? I didn’t even know that!’
‘There’s still time to make it a Christmas-themed wedding, you know. You could wear your elf outfit. You look damned cute in that.’
I lean back, staring up at him. ‘That’s a definite no. It’s a wedding and not a pantomime! Even I know better than that.’
21
Money, Money, Money
‘Right, folks, let’s get started, shall we?’ Tollie booms out, quietening everyone down. We booked the conservatory at The Bullrush because the Aysbury drama club are holding a dress rehearsal for their Christmas play in the village hall. As they are donating 50 per cent of the funds raised to the playground, we were more than happy to make alternative arrangements. ‘Fisher, would you be kind enough to close the doors, please?’
It’s wonderful to see Tollie looking so well. He’s on good form tonight and, being able to sit back and watch as he’s interacting with everyone, I feel as if I have my granddad back again. Gone is that strained look from the months and months of increasing pain and taking tablets just to get through each day.
‘I think we should let Fisher kick off the meetin’ as he has some news,’ Tollie informs us, sitting back in his chair as we all turn to look at Fisher.
‘That’s right. We have a date for the work to start, and it’s a little earlier than expected. Now don’t panic, Immi, the target date for that last payment remains as agreed, by the end of December. But the work will commence a week on Monday.’
There’s a sharp intake of breath from most of the people sitting around the table.
‘The team will aim to have the job completed within five working days and that gives Tollie two full weeks to arrange for the technical support officer to carry out his inspection. The end is in sight.’ Fisher, like Tollie, is positively beaming.
‘I’m assured that all they will need is forty-eight hours’ notice,’ Tollie confirms, ‘and I’ll get back onto the solicitors to give them fair warnin’. It looks likely that even startin’ the Santa Ahoy cruises a week early, the playground will be open, too.’
There’s a little round of applause. This is the first meeting for a while where the full committee is in attendance and it’s a landmark moment. Everyone is now looking in my direction.
‘Before I talk about what’s in the pipeline for our final push, I will hand over to Patrick, as our treasurer, to give us an update.’
It’s the first time Patrick has joined us in his official capacity but he’s more than earnt his place.
‘Certainly, Immi. Well, I can confirm that 50 per cent of the outstanding balance was paid in mid-August, as agreed. The bank account balance currently stands at two thousand two hundred and forty-three pounds. That doesn’t include this week’s emptying of the collection boxes.’
It could be more, but it’s not terrible.
‘Thank you, Patrick. Right,’ I begin. ‘With the last payment of ten thousand five hundred and twenty-eight pounds as our goal, I’ll run down the list of events already held where the money hasn’t yet hit the bank. I don’t know if everyone is aware that the Linden Hotel raised around seven hundred pounds from the charity dinner and discretionary donations. As far as I’m aware, that isn’t included in the running total,’ I pause, and look at Patrick, who nods in agreement. ‘Five local primary schools will be holding a non-uniform day, thanks to Rona’s contacts. Then there is a packed schedule through to the end of the third week in December in terms of small groups doing the rounds of church hall fairs et cetera, with collection buckets. And Adler’s farm have already sold an amazing eighty-three tickets, at ten pounds a head, for the Winter Barn Dance. All proceeds from the ticket sales will be donated as Wes and his wife are footing the bill for the buffet.’
‘That’s very generous of them,’ Tollie interrupts. ‘I’ll take a walk up and express our sincere thanks.’
Heads nod in agreement.
‘And we’re running a bar up at Adler’s farm,’ David joins in. ‘Sales of The Bullrush Christmas Brew have already begun, and we will have a big display of it at the dance. We’re able to donate 20 per cent this year due to increased production levels and we hope to far outdo the three grand we raised last year.’
Scribbling down the figures, I can feel people watching me anxiously. ‘Obviously, it’s not wise to count money until it’s in the bank, but that alone, excluding the weekly collections, could swell the fund to close to seven thousand-pounds. With the proceeds from the Santa Ahoy cruises, Bernie’s pop-up market and the car-parking charge we levy, we’re not far off the magic figure.’
The relief around the table is tangible.
‘If we pull this off, we will have succeeded in raising a whopping twenty-six thousand pounds in just under a year. It’s amazing, truly amazing. Well done, everyone.’
Kurt stands. ‘This deserves a drink on the house. Give me a moment and we’ll make a toast.’
‘No,’ Tollie calls out. ‘This is on me, Kurt. You were all plannin’ a posh dinner in my honour and I talked you into this. I knew it was a lot to ask – well, I’d hoped the figure would be a bit smaller – but we pulled together. I’m very grateful to you all for the hard work, and the new playground is a fittin’ way to mark the tenth anniversary of the Santa Ahoy.’
‘It is that,’ Kurt replies, giving Tollie a nod as he heads off to the bar.
Everyone begins talking at once, as we’re all in high spirits. It would have been a bitter blow not to have been able to have the playground up and running in time so it just goes to show what a small group of people can achieve. This is Tollie’s legacy and I couldn’t be happier that he’s about to see it come to fruition.
As the evening winds down, I start to pull on my coat, when I notice Fisher heading straight towards me.
‘You’re not going yet, are you? I was hoping to run something past you and Tollie.’
‘Oh, um, okay. It’s just that Gray is home alone.’
David is saying his goodbyes, which will leave just Fisher, Val, Tollie and me. I slip my coat over the back of the chair as Fisher indicates for us to join Val and Tollie, at the other end of the table.
‘Val and I had a bit of an idea. Just in case the fund needs topping up, as we know that if it pours down with rain the pop-up Christmas market has in the past been cancelled. We were thinking of advertising evening cruises on The Star Gazer in November and December. There are a few things I’d need to sort first, like the insurance, but, as long as we cover the costs, any profit we make we’ll happily donate to the cause.’
I glance at Val, who immediately turns to look at Tollie, totally avoiding my gaze.
‘That’s a great idea. Get in a bit of practice and see how it goes, eh? Gearin’ up for retirement!’
Oh, Tollie. I wish you hadn’t said that.
‘Well, the idea might not turn out to be viable. But I needed to raise the subject tonight because I suspect Immi will be designing the flyers soon and thinking about advertising.’
‘Yes. It’s top of my list now. How soon will you be in a position to provide me with the dates and the full details?’
‘Give me two days and I’ll get them to you. It’ll be Thursday and Friday evenings, I think. The only downside is making sure we leave the boat pristine for Santa and his elves to take over the next morning,’ he says, smiling at me.
‘It won’t be a problem,’ Val joins in. ‘They’ll just be sedate trips along the canal with a glass or two of wine and a selection of canapés,’ she explains.
‘Sounds a bit posh there, Val. Very upmarket,’ Tollie remarks. ‘I’ll have to buy a ticket for Daphne and me.’
My stomach turns over. Daphne isn’t going anywhere, then.
‘Sounds like a plan,’ Fisher says, turning to Val. I can see how excited he is and it’s obvious she’s doing this for him. Let’s just hope it turns out well.
‘I’d best get off, as Gray will wonder where I am.’
Fisher and Val give me a hug, then I walk around
to Tollie. He stands and wraps his arms around me as he used to do, lingering for a while.
‘You kept us all on our toes, m’dear, and we’ll have you to thank when we hit that target. I’ve not been as active as I’d hoped, but from now on I’m back to normal.’
I leave them all chatting and as I walk home I can’t help but wonder what normal means going forward when it comes to my relationship with Tollie. The trouble is that I can’t see anything changing if Daphne is going to be a permanent feature in his life. Will I learn to become more accepting of the way things are, I wonder, or will the divide between us continue to grow? And as for the wedding, well, there’s an awkwardness whenever Daphne is around, and if it doesn’t go away then I fear it might spoil everything.
As I turn the key in the front door, it strikes me as a little odd that only the hall light is on. After hanging up my coat, I make my way upstairs, poking my head around the door of Gray’s studio. He has his headset on and he’s rocking from side to side as he fiddles with the massive panel of switches, knobs and sliders. I tentatively approach him; he spots the movement out of the side of his eye and slips off his headset.
‘I didn’t realise it was this late. How did it go?’
‘Good news all round. Work begins on the playground a week on Monday and we’re on target to hit that final payment if everything goes according to plan. Tollie paid for a round of drinks to celebrate.’
‘That was generous of him. Did you two get to talk?’
‘Not really. Anyway, I’m tired. Don’t stay up too late,’ I say as he stands to give me a kiss.
‘It will get better, you know. Just give it a little time. And the pressure is easing a bit, then?’
I nod. ‘Sort of, but it’s time to get into Christmas mode. I’m going to be busy sorting schedules and arranging the advertising.’
‘But once the last cruise is done and that final payment is made, you can then relax for a couple of days and get into wedding mode.’ Gray looks at me and I see his expression change in an instant as it begins to sink in. ‘Goodness, that clock really is ticking, isn’t it? But… it’s all under control.’
Did I detect a hint of hesitation in his voice?
‘And your best man?’
Gray looks flustered. ‘I’m still giving it some thought,’ he replies cagily. ‘I was going to ask Phil, but then I kinda thought, maybe I should ask Fisher?’
‘That’s a kind thought, but it’s entirely up to you, Gray. Just don’t leave it too long because if you’re hiring suits you need to get that sorted.’
‘I know. Rona and Val keep chasing me about it, as if I’m likely to forget. I’ll sleep on it and make my mind up in the morning, I promise. Night, babe.’
Heading into the master bedroom, I don’t turn on the light but make my way over to the window. Looking out across the patio, I see the lights are on in The Retreat. I remember all the nights when I slept there on my own. I didn’t notice how lonely an existence it was, until I met Gray and he began staying over at weekends. Did Tollie feel as though he rattled around over there when he first moved in, too? After all, he’s spent the last fifty years living in what was a two-bed, cosy little cottage.
‘Oh, Grandma,’ I whisper to myself. ‘How am I going to get through this?’ Staring around the new bedroom above the extension, I know this represents a fresh start for me. And, because Tollie has never lived in The Retreat, that’s his fresh start. But even though we’re still on each other’s doorsteps, we might as well be miles apart. My heart aches because it feels as if that special bond between Tollie and me has been broken. Maybe forever. And there is nothing at all I can do about it.
22
As the Autumn Leaves Fall, My Spirits Rise
We return to a spell of sunny, dry days, but a sharp chill in the air overnight sees the leaves on the trees quickly changing hue. From the vibrant greens, which were beginning to fade, suddenly come the golds, oranges and yellows. Leafy mounds appear everywhere, whipped up by some strong winds to delight both children and dogs when out walking. The Cotswolds is beautiful in every season, but autumn is a truly glorious time. Usually I’d be outside, enjoying as many long walks as possible, but a sense of sadness seems to hover over me. My family is split, or that’s how it’s beginning to feel.
Gray flew off to LA again yesterday and will be gone for the remainder of the week. His new project is finally up and running, and while he was loath to leave me, knowing that I’m feeling down, we both knew there was nothing he could do. As I walk to work this morning, I tell myself that it’s just a normal Monday and we’re back in the old routine. But as I scan the trees, I don’t take in their beauty, what I see is the starkness of winter looming. Days will get shorter and nights longer. Nights when, even when Gray’s back from his trip, he’ll be up in London and I’ll be on my own again. Those were the times when Tollie would cook for us both and I’d do the washing up. Sometimes we’d watch a film together, or sit and chat in front of the fire. Simple things, but it meant a lot to me, to us both.
I stop in my tracks, staring up at the sky for a moment before I scan around. It’s crisp this morning and as I breathe out it creates a little misty cloud of white. There is beauty all around; every day nature creates a new little miracle and the fact that I’m not seeing it is a red flag. I turn around and begin the walk back to the cottage, yanking the phone out of my pocket.
‘Hi, Martin. Sorry to spring this on you, but could you possibly manage without me if I take an unscheduled day’s leave?’
‘Morning, Immi. Of course. You’re not sick, are you?’
‘No. Just running behind on the plans for the Christmas advertising and I’d really like to get it all wrapped up today.’
There’s a pause. ‘Fair enough. Gray got off all right, then?’
Martin is checking that I’m okay about it and I appreciate the thought.
‘Yes. It’s quite a relief to know that his project is finally about to gather momentum,’ I reply contentedly.
‘When’s he due back?’
‘He’ll be home in the early hours of Saturday morning and he’s taking the following Monday off.’
‘Oh, good. I’ll book a day’s leave for you then, too, shall I?’
‘Hmm… it’s a busy time, Martin.’
‘Don’t worry about that. There isn’t anything that can’t wait. And if you need anything, Immi, you know where to come.’
I thank him, making a huge effort to sound upbeat, but Martin can clearly read between the lines. If I don’t shake off this gloom quickly, I’m going to flounder, and there is no way I’m going to let anyone down. There’s only one simple remedy and it’s time for action.
I turn down the music while I make a quick call to Val.
‘Morning. Sorry to bother you at the office, but I’m working on schedules today for the cruises. I was just wondering if you could give me an idea of how many silver tickets, plus guests, will be handed out this year, so I can calculate the number of trips to factor in.’
Val has contacts throughout the wider community with local charities, churches and schools identifying families with children who are true little stars – either because they have stepped up in troubled times, lost loved ones, or faced personal battles. She pulls together lists and for those nominated we issue silver tickets and run Santa Ahoy Little Stars Specials.
‘If I give you a figure now, off the top of my head, I’d only be guessing. Sorry, Immi, I appreciate that it’s a high priority, but I’ve had a few distractions recently. Do you need it right now, or can I email you the information tonight?’
Now would have been convenient but, given that Val is juggling so many things at the moment, I know she’s doing her best. Working at the marina, keeping the wedding plans moving forward, her fundraising work, moving in with Fisher… there’s a lot going on.
‘Tonight will be fine, thank you. It’s an extended programme this year anyway, so I’m sure we’ll fit everyone in. Say hi to Fisher for
me.’
‘He’s missing his gym buddy.’ She laughs.
‘Gym buddy?’
‘Gray. Their Tuesday and Thursday night jaunts. Fisher is determined to continue, though. He says it’s giving him more energy. He was thrilled when Gray asked him to be his best man and at first he went along to support Gray, but now Fisher is really enjoying it.’
I’m shocked. Gray has been going to the gym?
‘Well, that’s a surprise which they kept very quiet. How funny! Anyway, take care, Val, and we’ll speak soon.’
I push back on my chair, in need of another cup of coffee. Naturally, I’ve noticed the change in Gray’s body shape, but I had no idea how much effort he was putting into it. And then I twig. Tuesdays I’m at yoga so he must have been rushing to get back here before me. That’s why his hair was wet the other week. Thursdays he’s been meeting up with Fisher for a pint at The Bullrush, except that’s not what they’ve been doing. So the wedding madness is getting to him, which is a little sad as I love him exactly the way he is… And then it hits me – he loves me exactly the way I am, no matter what I wear. Gray tells me that all the time, but how often do I say it to him? Obviously not often enough.
As I wait for the kettle to boil I turn the music back up. My mood has shifted, and the dark cloud that has been hovering over me for a while now has been banished. Dancing around in my tracksuit bottoms and sloppy jumper to Slade’s ‘Merry Christmas Everybody’ fills me with a sense of exhilaration. Magical things happen during the festive period because it brings out the best in most people. Those wintery nights are going to be fun when Gray is here and when he isn’t. I’m going to keep myself busy, and watch and re-watch films that make me laugh, like Home Alone and The Holiday.
There’s a sharp rap on the front door and I hope it’s the gifts I’ve ordered for Sarah and Ursula, to hand out on the twenty-second of December. I must remind Gray to choose something for Fisher, and we still need to decide what to give Rona and Val. Flowers are lovely, but I’d rather we gave them a keepsake, I reflect as I swing open the door.
