SECRETS: Passion, Deceit, And Revenge (Beauty 0f Life Book 8)

by Laura Acton

She joined the Tactical Response Force before him, so her implications were valid, and it would be unfair to ask her to switch teams or departments. He would never ask that of her, but he couldn’t leave either. This choice hurt him either way. He would bleed without Lexa or the team in his life.

  I love her to my core. She is the only one for me, my beauty of life. But does she love me enough to stay with me if I decide to leave the team for her? What will happen to me if I transfer teams and she chooses to dump me? I would be alone again. Without the team, I don’t think I can survive. Bram, Loki, Ray, Nick, hell even Jon, keep the darkness at bay. From my ninth summer until I met Brody in basic training, I lived a lonely, isolated life. Alone is painful … empty … lost … fear … nothingness.

  As the song changed, Dan turned the corner heading towards an older section of the city, taking the longer route since he had nowhere he must go on this cool, spring morning having been forced to take two weeks off.

  Though thinking more logically about Lexa’s words now, when they crossed her delicate lips he barely controlled his rage at the unfairness of it all and stormed out of Timmy’s to his motorcycle.

  His teammate raced after him, and when Lexa caught up with him in the parking lot, she called out, “Dan. Dan wait.”

  Unable to restrain his hurt, Dan allowed anger to spew forth. “Why?”

  “We … I …,” Lexa stammered.

  He noted tears forming in her eyes, which also pierced his breaking heart. His voice came out unmodulated, rising and falling with the different emotions warring within him. In a soft, shaking whisper, he said, “I love you.”

  Then he shouted, “You are,” and pain washed through him as he eked out a scarcely audible, “not,” before roaring angrily, “just a one night stand.” He jumped on his Ducati, ignoring his helmet, and gunned the motorcycle to life to drown out anything Lexa might say. He put it in gear, peeled out of the lot, and sped down the street.

  Unseen by either of them, Jon evidently witnessed the scene outside Timmy’s. Not aware their tactical lead overheard his words to Lexa, Dan remained clueless as to why Jon rode his ass the next day. His TL refused to make him Zulu One, glared at him at every turn, second-guessed his actions, and reamed him in debrief, blaming him for something out of his control.

  As he changed to go home at the end of shift yesterday, Jon and Boss insisted he go with them for a drink. He didn’t want to, but he had no choice and figured they would talk about the kiss Boss witnessed. He had waited a week for the anvil to fall, and when it did, the source of Jon’s behavior that day became crystal clear, so too the reason for the choice of bar. One off the beaten path, dark, and not frequented by police ... not the Pond.

  Launching right into a verbal flogging, his tactical leader pinned him with gunmetal gray eyes and growled, “Lexa is not a one-night stand, a conquest, or notch on your belt. You should’ve kept your cock zipped in your pants or visited one of your willing fans. Lexa deserves to be treated with respect. She deserves someone better than you. How dare you toy with her heart.”

  Dan opened his mouth, gaping with shock, but Hardy misinterpreted his motion and hissed at him, “Don’t try to deny it. I saw you last night. You left her crying in the parking lot of Timmy’s as you zoomed off on your crotch rocket. You are a callous asshole. I heard the way you told off Ravenswood. Goddammit, if I had ever suspected you would pursue Lexa just to dip your stick, well, I would’ve knocked you into next week!”

  Boss appeared as surprised and tried to interrupt his second in command, but Jon continued his tirade as he flung one unfair accusation at him after another, and called him nearly every dirty name conceivable. Then Jon switched tangents and laid into him about violating protocol. He reiterated harshly multiple times the rules protected everyone and his blatant disregard of them put the entire team at risk.

  By the time his sergeant stopped Jon’s scolding, old memories of being dressed down by the general caused him to revert to answering with, ‘Yes, sir,’ ‘No, sir,’ or ‘My fault, sir.’ He refrained from replying, ‘I’m sorry. Won’t happen again, sir,’ because quite frankly he would never be sorry.

  If Lexa wanted him back, he would happily ignore the non-fraternization rule again. But Lexa made her choice, and it isn’t me. I’m not as valuable to her as she is to me and I can’t risk losing the team and her at the same time.

  Once Sergeant Pastore succeeded in cutting off Jon, giving the tactical lead a rare, stern glare, Nick spoke more sympathetically. Aware of Lexa’s complicity in the kiss on her birthday, Boss asked him to clarify what transpired the previous night at Timmy’s and queried when the relationship began.

  The compassion he read in Nick’s eyes, prompted him to quietly admit the first time occurred in the Grand Citadel before they became teammates. This set Jon off again, but Boss swiftly reassumed control, and Dan continued to divulge their liaison started in earnest during his rehab, and they began dating exclusively on December twenty-second.

  Boss implied he should not cruelly play with Lexa’s heart, and firmly stated that their forbidden off-shift activities must end. Dan almost laughed at the absurdity of Nick’s assumption of Lexa being the heartbroken victim while Dan played the part of the heartless cad. But he refrained, understanding Boss viewed Lexa as a daughter and would be protective of her.

  On some weird level, he appreciated them confronting him first. He wouldn’t wish this inquisition on Lexa even though she ripped his heart out and stomped all over it. Dan assured his bosses Lexa ended their relationship the night before.

  Jon’s eyes narrowed, and he asked for an explanation of what he overheard. Dan was honest, well mostly truthful as he said they could verify with Lexa his full statement had been, ‘You are not just a one-night stand.’ He omitted the ‘I love you,’ not worrying at all Lexa would reveal that part.

  Again, if he had not been so miserable, he would’ve chuckled at Hardy’s expression when Jon realized he missed the keyword, ‘not,’ which changed the statement entirely. When he assured them he and Lexa could continue as colleagues, something in his tone alerted Boss to the fact he possessed a broken heart. Boss patted his shoulder and said things would improve with time and he only needed to find the right woman.

  Boss’ comment hurt. None of them had the slightest clue Lexa was the only one for him. He began to realize she was his beauty in the Grand Citadel while under protection after the gang war. Lexa came into his room to awaken him for lunch and realization dawned. She’s exactly what I need. My life has meaning with her in it. She is more. Lexa is my heart, my passion, and my life. With her, I felt alive and experienced great.

  Another anvil fell as Boss informed him he wouldn’t file an official reprimand, but ordered him to take a two-week vacation, effective immediately. Jon’s glare indicated he preferred documenting the infraction, but Boss explained since their relationship ended, a report would not be required.

  In some ways, Dan believed the decision stemmed from Nick’s desire to protect Lexa. If Boss wrote him up, he must apply the rule fairly which meant Lexa would receive a ding in her stellar record too.

  As he finished the beer, both Boss and Jon stated he needed decompression time to get his head back into the game. They banned him from contacting any team members, citing they wanted him to have a clean break and to shake off all the bad vibes so he might return refreshed.

  When they defined the terms of his punishment, and to Dan, this was a punitive measure since the team kept him level, and he was being denied their support after Lexa dumped him, he asked if they would be informing the others of the reason for his impromptu holiday. Boss stated, ‘No, only you required some time off.’

  Then Nick offered to say it was the result of him needing time to think after the BDC raid. That would be an easy out, being responsible for almost getting Lexa killed did mess with his head, but Dan did not want them knowing he still harbored the guilt and told them it would be better to say nothing than to lie.

 
Boss suggested he take a real retreat. Go somewhere different. Experience something new. Perhaps take a cruise or hang out on a beach where he could truly relax. If Boss only knew how off his suggestions were, but none of them were aware water terrified him almost as much as needles. Boss’ ideas would be the last places on earth he would unwind. He only nodded accepting the penalty for breaking protocol.

  Having idle time was the worst thing for him. With nothing to fill his days and nights except brooding over what he lost, Dan didn’t think they grasped that beyond Jim and Jarmal, both of whom worked hellish hours, he had no local friends outside their team.

  I have my cousins, but there is no way in hell I want to visit them in my current state of mind. They would probe too deep, and I don’t want to reveal why I’m on a forced break. With Blaze, Winds, and Mason deployed out of country on a mission I can’t contact them if I wanted too, which I don’t.

  This is too personal, and I’m not one to pour out my battered heart. Well, except maybe to Blaze and for sure Brody if he were still here. So, I have no one and no desire to travel either. I could go into the wilderness, but going by myself isn’t a smart idea. Alone. Being alone sucks. I’ve spent too many years alone. Now I’m facing two full weeks of being all alone.

  He checked his watch. They’ll be finishing workout, showering, and suiting up right about now. Wonder who is doing the coffee run. They will be pissed at me since today was my day. What the hell am I going to tell Loki, Bram, and Ray when I return? Sorry guys, I wanted a vacation. Hope you didn’t worry when I left without saying a word to anybody. Crap, they are going to be furious. They will worry too. They’ve been protective ever since I returned in November.

  I screwed up big time. I’m in jeopardy of losing them all again. If Jon’s reaction is any indicator, they will assume the same things. Although they like me and I am considered family, none will think me worthy of Lexa. She is too special. Jon was so pissed off at me.

  A sharp pain lanced his left arm, drawing Dan from his thoughts. His right hand flew to his burning bicep. Registering wetness, Dan realized he had been shot, and the angle meant it came from a high position. Sniper?

  He ducked into the alley, and behind some crates as a crazy thought crossed his mind. Did Jon try to take me out? Crap, that’s stupid. Most likely someone from my past, but is this a failed attempt to kill me or …

  About the Author

  Laura Acton, author of the Beauty of Life series, has a passion for writing stories which pull the reader into a complex world of courageous men and women riding a roller coaster of emotions and danger, highlighting the nature of relationships and bonds developed in adversity.

  Ever since she was a teenager, Laura entertained herself crafting stories in her head. One quiet night, with music softly playing, Laura sat at a computer and finally allowed her stories to flow onto the page. Thus, discovering her

  writing passion as she began Forsaken, the first novel

  in the Beauty of Life series.

  If you like action, angst, intrigue, romance, details, twists, turns, and connections, Laura’s novels are chocked full of them.

  To receive an email notification for the next release, send an email to laura.acton-author@cox.net.

  For a complete listing of Laura’s novels, visit amazon.com/author/lauraacton