Determinant, a YA Paranormal Romance (Book 3 of The Guardians of Vesturon)

by A. M. Hargrove

  I was trying to process everything she was telling me. It seemed we were on the same track but at different times.

  “Listen to me January. I’m not ever going to tell you what to do because I’m a firm believer that you have to make up your own mind about this type of thing. But Rykerian is good...I mean oh-my-gosh good. He will never do anything to hurt you and your safety and your happiness will always come first for him—before anything else. Vesturions are weird when it comes to relationships, trust me. They’re totally different than humans. Humans take everything lightly. Not Vesturions. They bond with each other. Their souls unite, as well as their hearts and minds. Once they’re in love, there is no falling out of it. It is a lifelong thing for them. But it’s a good thing. They cherish their mates and respect them. Rayn says it best...he says they hold their mates in the highest esteem and with the greatest of reverence. It’s totally epic January. I’m not trying to sway you in any way, but I know exactly the kind of turmoil you are facing. I would gladly walk through the fires of hell for my mate and wouldn’t trade my life with him for anything in the universe.”

  I tried to digest what she was telling me but I was still having difficulty believing in myself, much less that someone like Rykerian had a serious interest in me.

  “I just don’t feel like I deserve him Maddie. I mean I’m such a failure. Everything in my life has been such a tortuous mess. And look at me! I’m a gangling, gawky, strange looking thing,” I insisted, my hands gesticulating in front of me.

  Maddie grabbed one of my hands and gave it a squeeze. “Look January, first of all you’re not a strange looking thing. You’re beautiful, but you don’t see that. Most nineteen year olds are uncomfortable with their appearance. I know I was and so was Cat. The only one I’ve ever known that wasn’t was Carlson and that’s because her mother told her a million times a day how wonderfully perfect she was. I can tell you this too: Rykerian doesn’t see you the same way you do. I know this by the way he looks at you. He smiles constantly when you’re around too. And you’re most certainly not a failure!” she insisted.

  “I have to disagree with you on that one. I almost flunked out of school Maddie. I lost my scholarship. I had to change my major because there was no way I would ever have gotten into medical school with my grades,” I confessed.

  “Let me ask you something. How many hours a week were you working when all this started happening? Thirty or forty?”

  I nodded saying, “Yeah, something like that.”

  “And how many hours were you carrying? Fifteen or eighteen?”

  “Yeah, I took eighteen the last two semesters.”

  “So you were working two jobs at about forty hours per week and taking eighteen hours and you say you failed because you lost your scholarship?”

  I nodded again.

  She snorted and said, “You’re nuts January. No one can burn the candle at both ends like you did and come out unscathed. Not to mention what you were dealing with as far as your family was concerned. I’m surprised you were able to retain any semblance of sanity!”

  Maddie sprang to her feet and stated pacing. She came to a stop in front of me and grabbed my hands, pulling me to my feet. Then she dragged me to the edge of the terrace and pointed to the mountains in the distance.

  “Tell me January, what do you see out there?”

  “The mountains...well, one in particular.”

  “Yeah, and you know what? How do you climb a mountain like that?”

  I looked at her and shrugged. I puzzled over where she was headed with this.

  “The way you climb a mountain is one step at a time. But you weren’t able to do that and do you know why? Because someone kept pushing you back down. Every time you made some headway, someone was in front of you forcing you back to the bottom. It was either your parents, your job, your classes, your finances...but there was always something or someone pushing you backwards.”

  I thought about what she was saying to me for a second. “But Maddie, I don’t think I’m capable of making it to the top. I did at one time. I really thought starting all over at Western would be my big chance, but I failed at it too.”

  “That’s the biggest wad of malarky I’ve ever heard! You’re brilliant January. You graduated from high school when you were sixteen years old. You were the class valedictorian, you made a perfect score on your SAT’s and you made straight A’s all the way through school. You’re the only one I know who scored a perfect five on all her AP courses too. I would even go so far to bet that if your circumstances had been different, you would have made straight A’s at Western. If things had been different I know your grades would have been perfect. But think about this. If your grades had been perfect, would you have done that internship in Atlanta?” I wondered where she was going with this.

  “I really can’t say. But in all probability, no.”

  A huge smile spread across her face and she said as she put her arm around me and squeezed, “Then you wouldn’t be standing here with me right now. You wouldn’t have contracted smallpox when you did and in all likelihood, you wouldn’t have met Rykerian. And do you know what else?”

  I nodded. I seemed to be doing more than my share of that in this conversation.

  “You would never have discovered your Vesturion background. If you only knew...only realized what that means. January, once you get to Vesturon, you are going to be so amazing!”

  “What do you mean by that?”

  “Well, first off, Vesturon is magnificent. There’s not an adequate word that can fairly describe it, but it’s perfection. If you combine all the beautiful places here on Earth, they still can’t compare. I don’t know what Rykerian has told you but some people refer to it as the true Eden. I can’t tell you how much I love it there.”

  “He never mentioned any of this. So it’s like a paradise of sorts?”

  “Not ‘like’ but is. It’s unreal. I can’t wait for you to go there. You’ll love it.” Maddie’s face was literally glowing as she spoke. “But that’s not even the best part. You know how Vesturions have special abilities? When you get there and stay for a while, yours will develop to their fullest potential. It has something to do with being where you belong. At least that’s my opinion.” At my puzzled look, she continued, “Remember how clumsy I used to be? Julian, the healer, thinks it had to do with my human side warring with my Vesturion side. Once I hit Vesturon, it started diminishing and then it disappeared altogether. I love my new self and my new abilities. I promise you’re going to love yours too.”

  I began to walk around the terrace, thinking about everything she was telling me. I’ll admit I was beginning to feel the first stirrings of excitement.

  “You have so much to look forward to January. I know it’s difficult to take in, but I’m telling it to you straight here. And then there’s your Rykerian,” she said grinning.

  “He’s not mine Maddie,” I corrected.

  Her eyebrows nearly shot off her head and she began shaking her head and said, “Oh yes he is...one hundred percent yours. You just haven’t figured that out yet. He has and I can tell you he’s done a one hundred eighty degree turn.”

  “How can you say that?”

  “Because I’ve been there and done that. As I said before, the way he looks at you, you’d have to be blind not to know how he feels about you. Before you came here, he was brooding all the time. Not sad, but certainly not happy. He was always so serious too. I told you already how much he smiles now. I think he’s smiled more in the last week than in the whole time I’ve known him. Seriously...I’m not even kidding here. Let me ask you one thing. What does Rykerian tell you?”

  “He thinks I’m the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen,” I said in the quietest of whispers.

  Maddie grabbed my hands again and smiled. “And there you have your answer, my friend.”

  “I still don’t know about all that.”

  “Oh I do. And you will too one day. In fact, if you don’t ask me to b
e your matron of honor, I’ll just have to kill you,” she said laughing.

  I rolled my eyes at her and said, “I think you’re jumping the gun a bit.”

  “We’ll see,” she said winking. “One other thing. On Earth we have this thing about time in relationships. Like we need to know someone for months or even years before we might feel comfortable enough to want to get involved with them, right?”

  I nodded.

  “Well, throw everything you’ve always heard out the window and unlearn what you know. It’s totally different with Vesturions.”

  “Why is that?”

  “Well, first off, they cannot lie. So when Rykerian tells you something, believe it. If he says he loves you, he does. If he tells you that your souls have connected, they have. Vesturions share this bond that is an incredible force that binds you together. It doesn’t exist between humans. On Earth, you can spend ten years with someone and you wouldn’t have what you and Rykerian already have between the two of you in the brief time you’ve known each other. So, if it feels right, go with it and don’t worry about the time thing.”

  “Is that why I feel this? I don’t exactly know what to call it. Maybe a current or something...that flows between us?”

  “Yes! You can tell if he’s in the room or not! You can FEEL his presence before you can even SEE him. I swear to you January, go with your feelings here. You won’t regret it. I promise!”

  I did feel better about things. I wanted to get to know Rykerian better. I wanted to learn as much about him as I could.

  “Who helped you once you got to Vesturon? Was it Rykerian’s family?”

  Maddie nodded and said, “Yes they did some but my grandparents worked closely with me until I had surpassed the point where they could help me.”

  “Your grandparents are there?” I asked, shocked.

  “Yeah, crazy, huh? I’ll tell you all about it sometime. I hate to break this conversation off but I want to see if there’s been any word from Rayn.” She started walking back toward the house.

  “Hey Maddie!” I called. She looked back and I said, “Thanks for listening and for all the advice. I really do appreciate it.”

  She grinned and nodded and headed to the house.

  Chapter 8

  Maddie had certainly given me a ton to think about. Rykerian for one. I knew his feelings were over the top for me. I also knew I felt something for him I had never felt before. I just wish I had more experience in this arena. I was such a loser in the boy department so I had nothing on which to base my feelings. It was so frustrating because I wanted to run to him screaming out how giddy he made me feel. I was also frightened out of my wits. If something happened and he decided he didn’t want me after all, I’m not sure my fragile psyche could handle that.

  For the first time in my life, I was feeling like I belonged somewhere. I never felt this way growing up—even in my own home I had always felt like an outsider. I didn’t here, which struck me as extremely strange. So did this mean something? Did this mean I belonged here with Rykerian? Or was it just because I was half Vesturion?

  Maybe I was over thinking all of this. Maybe I needed to take it all in stride and not be overly concerned about everything. As I glanced over at the stunning mountains in the distance, their magnificence took my breath away. Maddie’s words came back to me when she said I needed to climb the mountain one step at a time. Perhaps that’s where my focus should be...taking it one day at a time and one step at a time. Perhaps I needed to stop looking at the whole picture and start focusing on each of the components, bit by bit.

  As I sat there, lost in my thoughts and feeling myself relax for the first time in ages, I felt his presence. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw him staring at me intensely. His magnetism beckoned to me and I felt myself rise. My feet carried me to his side and I was barely conscious of what I was doing, so lost in his eyes I was.

  Speech became an impossibility. My desire to stand there and stare at him forever was overwhelming. His lips parted and a slow, inviting smile lit up his face. There was only one thing I wanted at this moment.

  He took one step forward, placed his hands on my waist and continued staring into my eyes. My breath left my body in a whoosh and I suddenly felt lightheaded. He moved his right hand from my waist to my cheek, and his thumb began tracing the outline of my mouth. He mesmerized me as his thumb continued to brush against my lips. I wanted him to put his lips there instead.

  As soon as that thought popped into my head, he cocked his head slightly and bent toward me, murmuring against my mouth. “Is this what you want?”

  “Oh yes,” I whispered against his lips. At first the kiss was soft and his lips lightly danced across mine. Then that familiar electric current raced though my body and his lips turned demanding, as they took possession of mine. He moaned into my mouth and then quickly pulled away, his breath rasping.

  “I am sorry January. I...I should not be doing that. It is becoming exceedingly difficult for me to control myself around you,” he admitted ruefully.

  “Did you...did you feel that too?” I asked softly, hesitantly.

  “Oh yes. It is very powerful!”

  “What is that? I’ve felt it before when we kissed, like a strong current of energy.”

  He laughed under his breath and said, “I believe it is our souls meeting and uniting. I am told that is how it feels...like a surge of energy coursing though the veins.”

  A piece of the puzzle had fallen into place. There was some unimaginable force binding us together...more than his feelings for me and mine for him. I saw him nod in agreement.

  “It is the way for Vesturions. Remember when I explained that our souls find each other before our hearts do? That is part of the bonding for us. January, it is undeniable. Try as one might, it is impossible to ignore. I understand your hesitancy, but it is my hope that you will realize and accept it sooner rather than later,” he finished as the corners of his mouth turned up.

  “Well, it’s impossible to ignore, I’ll say that.” I smiled back at him.

  “Tell me about your talk with Maddie.”

  I fidgeted a bit because this was a girl thing and I wasn’t sure of how much to share.

  Luckily, he came to the rescue. “If it is something you do not wish to share, I understand.”

  “It’s sort of a personal thing but it was all really good. I feel so much better about things...about, er, about us.”

  His aura brightened immediately at my words. It took me by surprise. My eyes widened as I stared at him. He was literally glowing and looking quite like an angel standing before me, though that was nothing compared to when he added his smile. I thought then that if it had been dark outside, he would have lit up the entire terrace. Would I ever get used to his astounding beauty, I mused?

  “Whoa!” I exclaimed.

  I watched a flush spread across his face as he lowered his eyes.

  “Okay, now it’s my turn to say something. Please don’t be embarrassed Rykerian. And please look at me. You know how I adore your eyes. I’ve already told you how I love to see you blush. Add to that your aura and...well, I’m not sure there are words that can describe it. You are...er, quite attractive,” I said boldly. And that was even an understatement.

  His smile grew even more with my words and then he said, “As are you January.”

  We were still standing facing each other, lost in the moment when we heard Maddie calling to us.

  “Hey you two! I hate to interrupt you but Rayn and Kennar should be teleporting here in a moment and they are bringing in a prisoner.”

  “What?” Rykerian shouted in surprise.

  “Yes, you heard me correctly. He said they came upon the Space Traveler and they locked onto it and are conveying it to the dock in the Compound. The three of them should be here in a moment,” she explained.

  My eyes darted between them as Rykerian said, “Let’s go to the front and meet them. I wonder who they have captured.”

  “I’m not
sure. He didn’t elaborate. I was just happy to hear he was okay,” Maddie replied.

  As we began walking towards the house, three melon-sized shapes of light flew toward us.

  “Here they come,” Maddie said with excitement.

  The three balls hovered for a second then elongated and morphed into the shapes of three men. I had never witnessed this process before so I was quite fascinated.

  “Wow! No wonder you feel all goofy in the head when you do this,” I commented.

  Rykerian chuckled at my statement.

  Maddie flew to Rayn and hugged him. I turned to look at the men and suddenly felt my head spinning. The breath flew out of me and before I knew what was happening, I screamed, “You! It’s you! You’re the one I saw at the CDC!”

  I spun around to Rykerian, yelling and pointing, “It’s him! He’s the one that stole the virus!”

  The same man I had passed in the corridor that day was standing before me. He was dressed as I remembered but he was alone.

  I shouted to him, “Where are your buddies? The ones who were with you?”

  Before anyone could move, Rykerian asked, “You know this male?”

  “He’s the one I told you about!” I exclaimed.

  Then the prisoner surprised us all by saying, “I knew you weren’t human. Why did you deny it?” his tone demanding and accusing.

  I stood there, my mouth agape.

  “Do NOT speak to her as such unless you are given permission!” Rykerian shouted.

  “Oh please,” the stranger said with derision.

  “Silence!” Rayn demanded.

  “I didn’t know I wasn’t totally human at the time. That’s why I said I was,” I shouted back to the strange man.

  Rykerian turned to me and said, “There is no need to explain anything to him. He is our prisoner.”

  “I am NO ONE’S prisoner!” he said disdainfully.