Determinant, a YA Paranormal Romance (Book 3 of The Guardians of Vesturon)

by A. M. Hargrove

  “Hey, are you interested in seeing the Academy for Guardians?”

  “Yeah!”

  “Come on. You said something about wanting to be a Guardian. Were you serious?”

  “I dunno. Honestly, I just want to be with Rykerian, Maddie. I was only running my mouth because I hate it when he’s away from me.”

  “Well, if you could do anything you want in the whole universe, what would it be?”

  “Oh, that’s easy. I’d want to go to medical school!”

  “Then come with me!”

  Maddie took me to see Julian, the healer, and we talked about what it would entail for me to go to medical school.

  “January, this is something you would need to discuss with Rykerian. It is a huge commitment, as you know, and now that you are mated to him, you may not want to spend that much time away from him,” Julian explained smiling.

  “Point well made! Thanks for taking the time to speak with me about it Julian. I appreciate it so much.”

  “Anytime and congratulations on your unification!”

  We headed back to the palace where Rowan and Annalise were waiting with Rayn for some word from Rykerian and Xarrid.

  “Rayn, what do you think is going to happen on Earth?” I wanted to know.

  “That all depends on whether the Guardians can regain control and whether the Xanthians have gotten any kind of following yet.”

  “What if they have?” Maddie piped in.

  “I don’t know Sunshine. I guess it depends on the extent of their infiltration. The gangs in the cities will always vie for power. Without law and order, they will rule.”

  “The Xanthians will love that Rayn. They hate law and order of any kind,” Maddie fumed.

  “No Sunshine, they love law and order when it’s their own. They will try to persuade the gangs to join with them, telling them lies of how they will rule together. You and I both know once the gangs join up, the gangs will be stripped of their power and forced to bow down to Xanthian law. Then the gangs will rebel and well, I don’t have to go on. My concern is for the innocent people who will get caught in the crossfire.”

  “Oh no! Tommy and Sarah!” I cried out, leaping to my feet.

  Maddie and Rayn exchanged a look and Rayn said, “January, we have discussed this with Rykerian and when he completes this mission, we think it best if you bring Tommy and Sarah to the Compound.”

  “Yeah, I think you’re right. What about them finding out about us?” I wondered.

  “Earth is no longer the way it was. I’m not sure it matters so much anymore,” Rayn answered.

  “Maddie, what about Cat? Is there anything we can do for her?”

  “While you were unconscious after your visit with your family, Rayn and I went and vaccinated Cat and her family. They are safe from disease. We also deposited money for them and teleported in a hefty supply of food. Rayn erased their memories so that’s about the most we can do, other than check on them from time to time to see if they’re safe.”

  “Okay, and thanks for doing that. Is there one more favor I can ask? Well, maybe two?” I looked at Rayn more than Maddie.

  “What are they?”

  I explained my relationship with the Campbell’s and with Lou and Diane from the restaurant in Waynesville. I asked if they could be vaccinated and looked after.

  Rayn shook his head saying, “I do not think that would be a problem at all.”

  “Thanks Rayn.”

  *****

  Hours later we were still sitting and waiting for some kind of news when I felt this searing pain tear through my heart.

  “Ugh,” I fell forward and my body slammed to the floor. I vaguely heard wailing in the background and then shouts of, “NOOOOO!” and “Deity, please no! This cannot be!”

  I was on the floor, making every effort to drag air into my lungs without it feeling like a knife piercing my heart. Then his voice came to me.

  “NOOOO... Therron! Answer me! Bloody hell Therron. Answer me. I know you’re still here. This cannot be happening. NOOOOO!”

  Oh dear God! Something happened to Therron. I was finally able to open my eyes, but I could still barely breathe. I looked around the room. My ears were ringing. Maddie was lying on top of Rayn and he was screaming Therron’s name. Rowan and Annalise were making guttural sounds and moving around the room erratically. Their minds seemed to be gone. I somehow made it to my feet and staggered to them, forcing them down onto one of the couches. I awkwardly lay between the two of them with my arms flung around them both. My goal was to keep them in one spot until someone could help. I think my actions jolted them into reality because Annalise began sobbing and curled into Rowan who clung to her like a vine. In the meantime, I had yet to dislodge that intense, knife-like pain shooting straight into my heart. I absently rubbed my chest in the hopes of making it disappear.

  Rykerian. I must get to Rykerian. I sat back on my heels and my eyes darted around the room, looking for what, I had no idea. I had to get to him somehow. He needed me. That’s the pain I was feeling. I felt it throughout my entire body and soul. It was his pain.

  What the hell had happened? What had gone so impossibly wrong? Where was Therron? Was he injured or worse yet, was he...? I couldn’t force myself to even think those dreadful words.

  “JUREK! JUREK, where are you?” my mind screamed.

  It was mere minutes later, but it felt like years when I heard the popping noise and felt the current fill the room. My head jerked around until my eyes landed on them. Jurek had Xarrid on one side and Rykerian on the other. Jurek’s eyes latched onto mine and he sliced his head in Rykerian’s direction. I needed no other indication. Rykerian’s face told me everything—it was a twisted mask of pain.

  I ran to him as swiftly as I could. Helping him became paramount. I wrenched him to me and he numbly followed me to our room. I did the only thing I knew to do. I removed his shadars and boots and then peeled every thread of clothing off of him and pushed him into the bed. I went to the bathroom and grabbed a washcloth and moistened it with cool water and cleansed the dirt and soot from his face, neck and hands. My clothing fell in a heap on the floor and then I curled up next to him and tried to infuse my strength into him.

  “Oh God, I’m sorry. I. Am. So. Sorry. I don’t know what else I can say. I wish there was something...anything I could do to make this whole thing go away.” The words kept tumbling from my lips. I wanted nothing but to ease his pain. I didn’t possess Tranquility. I didn’t know what else I could do for him.

  I kissed his eyes and his tears. I slid my hands into his hair, massaging his head. I lay across his chest, heart to heart, trying anything to comfort him. I knew Vesturions were bound by some unseen force and that he was in the throes of agony right now.

  I ran my hands along his arms to his shoulders and down his chest to his abdomen. I brushed his hair off his forehead and then took one of his hands and kissed each of his fingers. I felt his chest rise and heard him inhale deeply and then I saw he had opened his eyes. He was staring intently at me. His normally sapphire eyes were nearly black with pain.

  “I need you January...badly. Right now, I need you more than the air that I breathe. I need to feel your soul wrap around mine and I need to feel your heart beating beneath my hand.” He placed his hand over my heart as he spoke. “I need to feel your flesh beneath me and around me. I need to bury myself within you, mind, body and soul and I cannot promise I will be gentle. You may not want me like this, and if that is the case, please say the word and I will leave,” he rasped, his voice raw with pain.

  I held his face in my hands and said urgently, “No! I am yours Rykerian, through good times and bad, to walk by your side, to share your joy and your pain. We are one for now and forever,” I repeated some of our unification vows.

  When the last word left my lips, he took possession of my mouth like a drowning man in need of oxygen. I felt him shudder as his tears poured freely down his cheeks. His eyes never left mine, reaching into my sou
l, feeding from it, finding strength in it.

  “Don’t ever leave me. EVER!” he groaned.

  “Never. I’m here. I’ll always be here for you,” I said against his mouth before his lips claimed mine again.

  His hands were everywhere at once, gently at first and then urgently, desperately trying to prove to himself that I was here and not leaving. I don’t know if he was even aware of what he was doing. His grief penetrated every cell of mine and I cried right along with him. I didn’t know what to say or do so I just rode his terrible wave of torment with him. True to his word, it was a dark night for him. Somehow, my body seemed to ease the tempestuous storm raging within him and our lovemaking was the only solace for his tortured soul.

  Hours later, we awoke, entwined in each other’s arms, stiff and achy.

  I wanted to see into his eyes, yet I didn’t want to disturb him if he was sleeping, so I rose onto my knees and straddled him. He was awake and looked into my eyes. The pain reflecting back to me from his normally stunning eyes was so fierce and utterly profound, I gasped. I quickly flattened myself against him and attempted to cover him with my body, willing with all my might for his anguish away.

  “Ah, love, that will not work you know,” he said brokenly.

  “Then Rykerian, please tell me what will,” I begged. “Take me again, if it will help. I’ll do anything for you, anything at all! Do whatever you need to do.”

  “Oh, love, you have already done so much, but the truth of it is I am not sure if anything will work. Most likely nothing will. Time maybe. I do not know for sure. I wish I had an answer for you.”

  “You must know I would take it away from you if I could.”

  He wrapped his arms around me and said, “The only thing that could take it away would be to bring him back,” his voice constricted with pain. “I keep reliving it January. He was getting closer and closer. Blasters were firing all around us; annihilator beams coming at us from everywhere. I told Xarrid to keep his head down because he kept lifting it trying to get in a good shot. Then I told him to cover me because I was going to distract the enemy so Therron could make it to us and all of a sudden there was this huge blast that lit everything up. One second Therron was there and the next he was gone,” he finished, trembling, his face pallid and wet from his tears.

  I cupped his face with both hands and tried to wipe his tears away.

  “I fear it is useless January. I do not think the tears will ever end.” He wrapped his arms around me tightly and bent his head into my neck. “Thank you for being here for me.”

  “Don’t ever thank me for this. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. The truth is I couldn’t bear to be anywhere else. A minute away from you is torture for me, and I’m here for as long as you need me. I love you so much Rykerian.”

  “And I you. I am lost without you my love.”

  “You will never be without me, Rykerian.”

  We passed the entire day wrapped in each other’s arms, alternating between talking, crying and making love, but mostly making love. I think he had to prove to himself that I wasn’t going anywhere and I would always be here for him. He wouldn’t let me out of his sight for anything. Our touch seemed to ease his pain somewhat. When I had to use the restroom, he insisted on standing right outside the door, but that was the only time there was any distance between us. He was a desperate man in need of his mate for peace and comfort, and I was a very willing partner.

  We ordered food from the compsys in our room—a computer system that allowed you to specify what you wanted. It was an awesome invention—humans had no idea what they were missing on this one.

  I fed him chicken sandwiches and chips in bed and he told me stories of Therron when they were growing up. I wished I had met him because he seemed like an amazing person.

  “He would have really liked you. He was the one that had to deal with Maddie when she nearly destroyed our house on Earth. He was always so patient with her.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I never told you?”

  “Huh, uh.”

  “Well, Maddie used to be extremely clumsy.”

  “Oh, yeah, I know about that!”

  “Julian says it was her body fighting itself. Her human side warred with her Vesturion side all her life. When she finally came here to Vesturon, the Vesturion side took over and defeated the human side—sort of anyway. So now, she is not clumsy in the least. In fact, she is quite the opposite.”

  “She did mention something about that. But what does that have to do with destroying the house?”

  “When Rayn was awaiting his trial and she was staying with us, she was trying to be helpful, but everything she did resulted in a catastrophe. For example, she tried to cook and started the kitchen on fire. She tried to help Zanna one day and put regular dish soap in the dishwasher and bubbles were flying everywhere. One day, she wanted to drive Rayn’s Lamborghini and ended up driving it through the garage. She was a walking disaster and Therron was the one who calmly dealt with her.”

  “Sweet God in heaven! How did you all put up with her?”

  “It was a true test of will I think, but an honest testament of Therron’s patience.”

  I picked up our plates and returned them to the compsys.

  “Can I get you anything else?”

  “Yes,” he said huskily. “Shower with me.” The bold look in his eyes told me it was more than a shower he needed.

  An hour later, we emerged from the luxurious bathroom, showered and feeling a bit better. We decided it might be a good idea to see what the rest of the family was doing.

  Rykerian dressed in a pair of black slacks and a black shirt and I put on a light turquoise dress and sandals.

  “You comfort me immensely January. I have no doubt I could not have survived this tragedy without you here. We are truly one, are we not?”

  “For now and forever. I love you and I wish so much there was something I could do to make all of this disappear.”

  He roughly pulled me into him and lifted me until our eyes met and he vowed, “January, I was lost before I found you and yesterday confirmed that. You are my light and I know the days ahead will not be easy ones, but I also know that with you by my side, I will without a doubt, make it through this. Therron was one of the best males I have ever known and when he died, a part of me died as well. But you give me a much more meaningful reason to live. So, on one hand, you have done so much more for me than you can ever imagine. Although on the other, I am not sure I want the pain just to disappear because in some way, it would lessen the way I felt about Therron and that would not seem right in my heart. I suppose my grief is a necessary evil, but you, my love, are a soothing balm for my weeping soul.” He kissed me gently and then set me back on my feet. He laced his fingers with mine and we went to seek out his family.

  Wow. The urge to pinch myself was overwhelming. Where did this man come from and how did I get this lucky?

  When we reached the family quarters, there wasn’t anyone around. Rykerian led me toward the stairs and we went down to the back of the house. Was it just a few weeks ago when we stood here and vowed our love for each other? It seemed like eons had passed.

  “I feel the same, love, though not with respect to you.”

  “Oh of course not. Though it seems so much has changed.”

  As we neared the terrace, seated were Maddie, Rayn, Rowan and Annalise. When they became aware of our presence, Annalise flew to her feet and into Rykerian’s arms. His hand dropped mine as his arms engulfed his mother in his embrace. I walked to Maddie and she and I hugged. Her eyes were red and swollen and it was evident she had been crying a lot.

  It was particularly awkward for me because I didn’t know what to say. “I’m so sorry for your loss” just seemed so inadequate.

  Maddie spoke first. “It’s okay January. There isn’t anything anyone can say. I, for one, am sorry you never got to meet him. Therron was awesome.”

  “So I hear. I’m sorry for th
at too. Rykerian has filled me in on so many things about him and I’m so disappointed we never met. I’m so sad for you because I know the two of you had gotten pretty tight. I still can’t believe this has happened.”

  “I know, right? I’m still numb I think.” Rayn was absently rubbing circles on the inside of Maddie’s wrist. For some reason, he made that simple gesture seem impossibly intimate. Maddie’s cheeks turned pink. She must’ve heard my thoughts so I immediately put up my blocks.

  Rykerian and Annalise joined us and Annalise gave me the tightest squeeze for a hug. “Thank you for being there for my son.”

  I looked her directly in the eye and said, “Annalise, you don’t ever have to thank me for that. There is nowhere else I would ever be, and I am at a complete and total loss for words at what to say to you over your loss. Please accept my sympathy.” I hugged her tighly. She gave me a watery smile and went to sit with Rowan who had greeted me earlier.

  Rykerian pulled me to him and took a seat on an oversized chair, pulling me into his lap. My brows shot up but he just nestled his arms around me, holding me tightly. He bent his head into my neck and said, “I refuse to be anywhere away from you. When I say that, I am talking mere inches, love. I have to touch you. I need your strength.”

  “Oh, okay,” I muttered in understanding. I would give him anything he needed...anything at all. If he had to touch me constantly, then so be it. As I looked around the terrace, I noticed the other couples were sitting in much the same fashion.

  “Rykerian,” Rowan said, “we will have a memorial service for Therron the day after tomorrow for the immediate family. Then the day after that, the public ceremony will be held.”

  “Yes, my lord. What time?”

  “The private one will be at sunrise here. The public one will be at high noon at the town central.”

  Rykerian nodded. “January hasn’t any formal garments for the service.”

  “Your mother has taken care of that. They will be delivered tomorrow.

  Chapter 2

  A sadder event I had never attended nor did I ever want to for as long as I lived. Never having met Therron, after the morning’s service, I felt I had known him since birth.