Determinant, a YA Paranormal Romance (Book 3 of The Guardians of Vesturon)

by A. M. Hargrove

  Since we were still wrapped around each other, to say I threw myself at him wasn’t quite accurate. However, I did hug him with quite a bit of force, landing on top of him. My hair formed a curtain around us as we dissolved into each other.

  “I love you so much Rykerian. But I’m scared. Really, really scared. I’m such a loser. I’m always telling you that. But I. Am. So. Scared. What if I’m a crummy mom? What if I turn out like my mom and hate my kid?” My fingers dug into his shoulders.

  In a voice laced with steel he said, “Stop it! Right now January. If I ever hear you compare yourself to that despicable woman again, I will scream. You are nothing like her! You are not a loser and you will never EVER be a crummy mother. You have so much love in your heart you could never hate your own child! Do you understand me?”

  I nodded.

  “This is a joint mission. Parenthood does not fall only on your shoulders. We are a team January. When you become frightened, you come to me and vice versa. We will raise strong, loving and caring children. They will be kindhearted and considerate and they will not fear anything. And we will do it together. I know with every fiber of my being that you will love this child with all of your heart and soul! Understood?”

  I nodded again.

  “Good. Now, you must promise me something. You must take good care of yourself. I will try not to be overprotective, but it is my nature to be as such so I cannot make you any promises of that nature. And January, nothing says you cannot still become a healer if that is what you wish, love. Motherhood does not exclude you from living you know.” He smiled and I melted.

  “How did I ever get so lucky?”

  “It is I who am the lucky one,” he said, as he gently claimed my lips.

  “I love you Rykerian.”

  *****

  We decided—well I decided—that we would go back to Vesturon. Rowan went to the Council of Elders and gained approval for my family to go to Vesturon. Times had changed with the war. Earth was no longer safe for anyone so Vesturon was granting amnesty for many individuals.

  I knew it would be impossible for us to remain at the Compound on Earth and retain any shred of sanity. My mother was her usual unpleasant and harpy self and my father was as surly as ever. With my pregnancy hormones raging all over the place, we were bound to start our own little war. Rykerian never knew what to expect when he entered the room, so it was for everyone’s benefit that we went to Vesturon.

  Rykerian found a home for my family and work for my parents. Tommy and Sarah were enrolled in the Academy. They were behind for obvious reasons, but they were smart and with private tutors, they could catch up if they worked hard. Our sanity returned, minus the hormonal issues, since we didn’t have to live with my horrid parents anymore.

  I also wanted our child to be born on Vesturon. Earth had no functioning medical facilities anymore, and it had continued to deteriorate into a shell of its former self. It saddened me every time I thought of how one incident could snowball into something so fierce and dynamic and change the course of events forever.

  Since our return to Vesturon, Athyna and I were able to spend some time together. She had decided, over hours of arguing with Rykerian and the rest of the Yarristers, that she wanted to become a Guardian. She had this pressing need to avenge Therron’s death and the only way she could fight the Xanthians was to train as a Guardian. Rowan was livid. Aythyna’s nature had never been one of a fighter. In fact, she had been trained as a teacher. She possessed a keen intelligence and I often expressed to Rykerian that she would make a brilliant military strategist. Since I had no known battle skills, Rykerian would roll his eyes whenever I would mention this, but I could see where Athyna’s bright mind would be a great asset to the Vesturions.

  It didn’t take much for me to grow to love her. She was, in a word, fabulous. I was only sorry I hadn’t known her my whole life.

  Jurek visited often. Rykerian had finally come to terms with our relationship. Jurek’s involvement in the war with the Xanthian’s and his relationship with Xarrid also cemented that. Rykerian and Jurek would never be the best of friends, but he would always be welcome in our home.

  A few times, Rykerian had conceded and given his blessing to me when I wanted to visit Jurek at his space station. It’s true name was Lare-Stell Base. His company was known as LS Enterprises. He wouldn’t tell me what the Lare-Stell meant and no one knew of its existence, for security purposes. But I intended to get its meaning out of him one day.

  I was more than three quarters through my pregnancy when Rykerian allowed me to travel to Lare-Stell. After several days there I was bored to tears. Everyone was treating me like I was an invalid.

  “No, January! You cannot fight Tak. I will not allow it. You could get hurt,” Jurek explained.

  “You never worried about that before.”

  “You weren’t pregnant before,” exasperation lacing his tone.

  “Oh, so you were never worried about me. You are only worried about the baby!”

  He looked at me in that odd way of his and for once, he was speechless.

  “Well? No clever retort?”

  “Actually, no,” he admitted. “For once, you have rendered me speechless. Look, I know you are bored and frustrated, but can you not look at your baby’s welfare for one second? If anything happened you would never forgive yourself.”

  He did make a good point. He saw it too, so he kept pushing.

  “You know you would suffer those consequences, and you would carry that guilt and grief with you always. Keep the baby’s safety here January,” he said as he placed his hand over my heart. “You will be thankful for it when you have a healthy bundle of joy to hold in your arms.

  “Why do I get this feeling you know this from personal experience?” I asked softly as I placed my hand over his.

  “Perhaps it is because I do. And before you hit me with a barrage of questions, come, I want to show you something.”

  There was way more to this than he was letting on, but that was all I would get from him right now. I followed him out the door—the one I had wondered about the first time I was here as a prisoner. Yes, there was one. It was hidden in a panel and if one didn’t know it was there, it looked like a part of the wall.

  We walked down the hall a short distance until we came to another door. Jurek pressed the button and the door slid open to reveal a room that was decorated as a nursery.

  It was amazing. There was a perfect little crib with a perfect rocker for me and the room was done in all sorts of pastels. It had a window that overlooked the stars and the ceiling was painted a deep blue and covered in glowing stars and moons. It was the loveliest thing I had ever seen.

  “Oh my God! It’s beautiful!” I would’ve jumped in his arms, but my ever-increasing girth wouldn’t allow it anymore. Good thing he was strong, because he lifted me up so I could hug and kiss him.

  “Do you really like it?” he asked excitedly.

  “It’s the most perfect thing I’ve ever seen! So does this mean the baby and I can come whenever?”

  “Absolutely!”

  “I love you, you know!”

  “I know!”

  “Well?”

  “Well what?”

  “This is the part where you’re supposed to say, ‘I love you too January.’”

  “I am?”

  I punched him in the arm and stuck my tongue out at him. He laughed at me and hugged me again.

  “You do realize you’ve brought new meaning to my life, don’t you?” he asked.

  “Is this the part where we go...’No you’re the best’...’No, you are!’”

  “I suppose so. January, you and I are so much alike. We were like two lost souls weren’t we?”

  “Are we found now?”

  “I think perhaps you are. Me...not so much,” he said shaking his head.

  “Jurek, you’ll always have a place with me you know.” I kissed his cheek.

  He smiled then, and his lovely lavender eye
s were something to behold.

  “Hey, will you come to Vesturon when the baby is born?”

  “Wouldn’t miss it for anything.”

  “Good cuz I’m gonna need the old hand on the forehead thingy. I’m a little freaked out about the whole process you know.”

  “Um, ‘hand on the forehead thingy?’”

  “Yeah, you know when you spread the warmth and all.”

  He threw back his head and roared with laughter. “Only you can do this to me January!”

  Chapter 6

  2 months later

  The pain tore through me in the middle of the night and I woke up screaming. Rykerian flew out of bed.

  “Is it time?” he yelled.

  “Yes,” I gritted out through clenched teeth.

  He started pacing and tearing his hands through his longer than usual hair. If he wasn’t more careful, he was going to yank his braid right out of his head. He began mumbling something about transportation. My usually calm and composed husband then charged out of the room, leaving me standing there, doubled over in pain and panting.

  I projected my thoughts to my in-laws. Thank God we were on Vesturon! Moments later, they were knocking on my door.

  “January dear, where is Rykerian?” Annalise gently asked.

  “I don’t know. I woke him up and he started jabbering incoherently and left the room.”

  “Rowan, go look for him. I will help January downstairs,” Annalise said.

  “Can you get Athyna too?”

  Seconds later I heard that familiar popping noise.

  “Oh thank God!”

  “Hand on the forehead thingy?” Jurek asked.

  “Yes!”

  He obliged and I felt that wonderful warmth spread throughout my body. He and Annalise helped me lumber down the steps. We made it to the front door when a frazzled Rykerian ran inside yelling, “Where have you been?”

  “And this is what you married January?” Jurek snorted shaking his head.

  “I know, right? Oh my gawd. Annalise, will you go with us?”

  “Yes, dear,” she said smiling. “Rykerian, everything will be fine,” she patted his arm. “Aren’t you going to change your clothes?”

  He glanced down and noticed he was only wearing his boxers. He had this stupefied look on his face when Rowan appeared.

  “Rowan darling, will you go to Rykerian’s closet and bring him a change of clothing?” Annalise asked. Thank the holy heavens above for my mother-in-law! “And don’t forget his shoes!” she called after him.

  He was pale and trembling and if he didn’t stop tearing his hands through his hair, he would be bald by day’s end.

  Another pain hit me then and I clamped down on Rykerian’s hand with mine, panting.

  “OWWWW!” he screamed. “I think you broke my hand,” he whined.

  “Deal with it Rykerian!” I grunted in pain.

  “Okay, okay! Sooorrrrry!” he said.

  “January, squeeze my hand if you’d like. I think I can handle it,” Jurek said with a smirk.

  Rykerian shot him a dirty look.

  Athyna came running in at that moment and took in the sight of us. I’m not sure whether she wanted to laugh or cry. Her eyes kept darting between Rykerian and me and she finally bit down on her lip, but a giggle escaped nevertheless.

  Rowan reappeared with Rykerian’s clothing and shoes and we boarded the transport. Rowan assisted me because Rykerian, who had all but lost his mind by this point, was the first to jump in. Apparently, he had forgotten that his rotund pregnant wife, who could barely walk, much less climb inside one of these wheel-less contraptions, needed a hand.

  “Gee, thanks for your help Rykerian,” I said sourly after I had climbed aboard.

  “What?” He was clueless.

  “Oh, my gawd! I can barely wobble, much less walk, and you expect me to hop in this doohickey, not to mention I AM IN LABOR!” I screeched.

  By this time, the intense desire to slap him had come over me. Annalise reached over and patted my hand, attempting to calm me, and Athyna, who could no longer contain herself, let loose a loud snort.

  “I do not understand why you are so upset with me,” Rykerian said in complete confusion.

  “You have got to be kidding me. Tell me you are kidding me! Because I know you cannot possibly be that stupid!”

  “January, I think he is really distressed. You seriously need to give him a break, my friend,” Jurek interrupted.

  Now I shot Jurek a withering. “Oh my gawd! I can’t believe it! How can you side with him? I’m the one in labor!!!”

  Rykerian gave me another ridiculous look as one more gut tearing contraction hit me. I tried to stop it, but another scream tore from my lips as the pain engulfed me. “Bloody hell, I didn’t sign up for this crap!” I yelled. I looked up at Rykerian and the abject worry in his eyes washed away everything else as he grabbed my hand.

  “Squeeze it, break it, crush it, tear the bloody damn thing off, I care not! Do what you must to take your pain away. I cannot bear to see you as such.” He said those words with such intensity I ground out between clenched teeth, “I love you Rykerian.”

  He gently brushed the damp hair off of my face and smiled one of those radiant take-your-breath-away smiles that made me forget everything...well, almost everything—except for the fact that I was in the worst pain of my life!

  “I love you more than life itself January!” he whispered for my ears only. Then he growled, “Sweet Deity, how soon before we get there? My mate’s in serious need of some bloody damn pain relief!”

  No sooner had the words left his mouth when Annalise said, “Here we are dears,” as we arrived at the medical facility. The robomedics met us with the floating gurney and pain meds. Ah, blessed relief.

  I insisted that Athyna accompany Rykerian and me into the delivery room. I’m not sure what I would have done without her because Rykerian was quickly losing his last shred of sanity and mine was going right along with it. He was impossibly anxious over my health and that of the baby’s. So thankfully, several hours later our beautiful little boy, Therron Rykerian Yarrister, entered this world with all ten fingers and toes. It was a good thing too, because if it had taken much longer, his father would have driven me and everyone else nuts!

  The only time Rykerian let me pry Therron out of his hands was for his feedings. We were like two kids fighting over a new toy. Athyna and Jurek finally left saying they couldn’t tolerate us anymore.

  We were in the family den one day when Annalise came in and handed us a piece of parchment.

  “What is this?” Rykerian asked.

  “It is a schedule your father and I have devised for you two. We are truly tired of hearing the two of you argue over whose turn it is to hold Therron,” she smiled.

  “Well, I never!” he glowered.

  “And one other thing...we think it might be time for the two of you to get your own place to live.”

  We looked at each other, and then back at her, wide-eyed as she walked out of the room.

  “She is right you know,” I calmly said. “Neither one of us has allowed anyone near him. His poor grandparents haven’t had but a minute to hold him. We are arguing all the time like two little brats. Not to mention there isn’t room here for everyone when they all get married and have kids. We can’t stay here forever.”

  The look on Rykerian’s face was so ridiculous I burst out laughing. It was one of those contagious moments and before long, he had joined in and Annalise was back and she was laughing right along with us. Even little Therron giggled. Annalise picked him up and tickled him, then stole him away. We looked around, then at each other and before I knew it, Rykerian picked me up and carried me up the stairs to our room.

  “If we’re not careful, we may have a houseful of little Therrons running around before we know it.”

  Rykerian stopped and stared at me with those incredibly stunning eyes. “Would that be so bad then, love?” he whispered curiously.

/>   I wrapped my hand around the nape of his neck, pulling him toward me. When his lips met mine, I said, “Whatever gave you the idea it was bad?”

  I felt his chest rumble as he kissed me back. Then he said, “Maybe then we would stop arguing over who gets to hold the baby!”

  *****

  The universe was still at war. The Xanthians had made it clear that Earth was their intended target and they would not stop until they had gained control of it. The Guardians had divided their efforts between the two planets, but a full-blown war was now in progress.

  Saylan had yet to be found and Xarrid was still searching for her. Rykerian and Jurek were doing everything they could to help, but so far they had found no sign of her.

  The task of building our own home had fallen to me and I gladly took that over, with Annalise’s help. The work would begin in the next few weeks and our home would be located within walking distance from the palace grounds.

  Little Therron was getting bigger every day. He was a perfect blend of his father and me. He had my eyes but Rykerian’s unmatchable hair color and his impossibly flawless smile and I think he was going to have his father’s build because the kid was huge! He was exactly like his daddy—the sweetest baby boy ever and lucky for us, he loved to sleep!

  Jurek visited me frequently, but he was fairly obscure about it. When he had agreed to assist the Guardians, it was understood that the only ones that would be made aware of the Praestani’s existence were the Yarristers. Jurek and Xarrid were quite close now, and Rykerian had finally come around, but I wouldn’t call them the best of friends. No one but the Yarristers knew of the existence of Lare-Stell and we all planned to keep it that way.

  My brother and sister were doing as well as could be expected. Tommy had been giving my parents problems because he wanted to go back to Earth, as did Sarah. They had never gotten very comfortable on Vesturon and missed their old life and friends.

  My parents didn’t help much either. They complained about everything, especially the fact that they should have been allowed to live in the palace and that as my parents they shouldn’t have to work.