From Rags to Witches

by Michelle Rowen

  “Don’t make me blush, handsome.” She twisted a finger through her crimped blonde hair.

  I continued to take all this in and try to make sense of it. This woman—this Baba-Whatever—had just appeared in a literal puff of smoke. I’d met more than my share of witches, but I’d never witnessed anything as incredible as this before.

  “Introductions, please,” she said.

  “Of course.” Thierry nodded. “This is my wife, Sarah Dearly. Sarah, this is the Baba Yaga.”

  “Sarah,” the witch said, smiling down at me, frozen in my seat. “How lovely to meet you.”

  “Ditto,” I squeaked. Then I cleared my throat. “Yes, lovely to meet you too.”

  Pretty please don’t curse me, I thought. Thanks so much.

  “Congratulations on your recent nuptials,” she said to me. “You have quite the yummy catch here.”

  “Thank you.” Thinking of Thierry as a “yummy catch” was kind of hilarious, even though he totally was. The way the witch eyed my husband made me realize that no matter who this Baba Yaga was or how powerful her magic, she definitely had the hots for Thierry.

  There really should be a club or something. With t-shirts and a secret handshake.

  “And you are?” Baba Yaga turned to Alicia, who watched all of this with a cool and calm expression.

  “This is Alicia Bates,” Thierry said. “She is the wife of a very important Ring elder.”

  “Franklin Bates’ wife,” the witch replied, her glossy lips thin.

  “The one and only,” Alicia said evenly.

  “I despise your husband.”

  “We have that in common.”

  The witch regarded her for a moment in silence. “I know you’ve been in Assjacket for several days. Are you looking for something in particular here?”

  Alicia shrugged. “Only the opportunity to inject some meaning into my increasingly dull immortal life.”

  The witch raised an eyebrow. “I see. And did you find that meaning?”

  “Getting there.”

  “That’s good to know.” The Baba Yaga scanned the otherwise empty diner. “May I ask when you’ll be moving on? It seems the presence of an unknown vampire has made other residents a bit shy.”

  “If that’s the case, know I meant no harm,” Alicia replied. Then she smiled and stood up from the table. “My departure is imminent, but I really do love this town. It’s so quaint and beautiful, and everyone who hasn’t been too shy around me is so friendly. Honestly? I feel like here in Assjacket, I could become anything I want to be. So thank you for that.”

  She extended her arms to the Baba Yaga, who, after a moment, allowed Alicia to embrace her.

  “My pleasure, of course,” she said tightly, awkwardly patting Alicia on her back, before stepping out of her hug-range.

  I glanced at Thierry to see his reaction. Me? I was kind of loving being only a spectator of all of this awkwardness rather than having the starring role.

  He was frowning slightly but otherwise remained unfazed.

  “Now, back to business,” the Baba Yaga said. “Thierry, I would like to ask for two, perhaps three hours of your time. It is rare that such an important and renowned representative of vampirekind visits this town. I would like to take you on a tour while we discuss matters related to the ongoing peace between your vampire Ring and the witch’s council.”

  “Of course,” Thierry said without missing a beat. “It would be my honor.”

  The man really should have been a politician. I mean, I’m glad he wasn’t, but he totally could be.

  “Excellent. Whenever you’re ready, we’ll begin.” The Baba Yaga gave him a big smile and moved aside to speak with her silent, robed compatriots.

  “Sarah, may I speak to you privately for a moment?” Thierry asked evenly.

  “Of course.” I followed him to the far corner of the diner while Alicia watched us curiously. “What is it? I mean, other than you basically getting ready to leave me for this super sexy other woman.”

  He shot me a look, and his lips quirked. “I will do my best to resist the Baba Yaga’s many charms.”

  “Literally,” I said. “I’m sure she has more up her sleeve than sparkling magic smoke. Based on her outfit, she might have a shiny Walkman and possibly the ability to moonwalk.”

  “I’ll certainly be on my guard,” he agreed wryly. “While I’m gone, I must ask you for a favor.”

  “Sure, anything.”

  His expression grew grim again. “It’s about Alicia.”

  His shift in moods unsettled me. “What about her?”

  “Her husband believes that there is more to her recent, erratic behavior than what she claims. He thinks she is seeing someone, a new lover; one who has deeply nefarious intentions toward the Ring and vampires worldwide.”

  I blinked as I took this in. “Nefarious intentions.”

  “Deeply.”

  “I can’t help but notice you haven’t mentioned this piece of important information about this assignment until now.”

  “I wanted to gauge her reaction in person before I burdened you with any extraneous details.”

  A potential direct threat toward vampires didn’t seem that extraneous to me. I crossed my arms over my chest. “So you lied to me about your ex.”

  “It wasn’t a lie. It was an omission. And saying she’s my ex is quite an exaggeration. We were together for only a single weekend.”

  I cringed. “I really don’t need the details.”

  “It was nearly a century before your birth.”

  “Not making it any better.”

  Thierry cleared his throat. “Alicia is in a delicate position, and likely doesn’t even know it. If she’s ultimately exposed as a spy or informant, the Ring will need to intervene. Franklin will be powerless to help her at that point. While I’m gone, I’m hoping that you can gain her confidence and find out more about her new lover and his agenda. Can you do that?”

  I considered this as I watched Alicia having a pleasant conversation with the Baba Yaga, who seemed to be keeping a safe distance from the hugging vampire now. I knew how the Ring typically “intervened.” It was a very polite way of saying they sent out an assassin to take care of their problems.

  I’d known Alicia for only a handful of minutes, but I definitely didn’t want her to get herself killed for falling for the wrong guy.

  “I’m on it,” I told Thierry. “I’ll find out everything I can, promise.”

  “Thank you.” He nodded. “It might be nothing. Franklin is known to be rather paranoid, especially when it comes to the fidelity of the wives he’s had.”

  “Wives?” I repeated.

  “He’s been married twelve times.”

  My eyes bugged. “And they’ve all cheated on him?”

  “He believes so. All I know for sure is that no vampire who is married to a Ring elder would come to this particular town for a mere vacation.”

  “Say it,” I said.

  “What?”

  “Say the town’s name.”

  Thierry studied me, and a small smile tugged at his lips. “Do I have to?”

  “Yes. I’ve agreed to help you get the goods. And you have to say the name of this town.”

  He took a deep breath. “Assjacket.”

  “So amazing.” I grinned at him. “Okay, you go with the boss witch for your private tour of Witchlandia, and I’ll get to the bottom of Alicia’s complicated love life.”

  “I’ll see you soon.” He leaned over and kissed me. “And thank you, Sarah.”

  “For what?”

  “For being by my side, helping me. In good times and bad.”

  I took his face in my hands and kissed him again. “Always and forever.”

  With that, Thierry returned to the waiting, leg-warmer-clad Baba Yaga and her silent assistants, and a few moments later, they all vanished in another swirl of purple smoke.

  3

  Alicia shook her head. “Witches do love their dramatic arrival
s and exits, don’t they?”

  I must have looked very pale and shocked because she came directly to my side and put her cool hand on my arm.

  “Don’t worry, Thierry will be fine,” she assured me.

  “He just got poofed away,” I said, my mouth dry.

  “The witches here call it transporting, but if you ask me, poofed is a better description. Now, come, sit down. Try to breathe. Have some tea. It’s actually delicious.”

  She guided me to my chair and poured a cup of tea for me. I took it with trembling fingers and sipped from the cup. She was right, it was very good. Not a forbidden, gut-destroying Pumpkin Spice Latte, but still. Pretty damn good.

  While I wasn’t thrilled that Thierry didn’t tell me the whole truth about this assignment, I knew his hands were tied. The Ring elders didn’t particularly like me to begin with, thinking I was a troublemaker. Which, of course, I was. I was still trying to figure out a way for Thierry to break his contract, which currently had him in the position of traveling consultant for the next fifty years.

  That timeline didn’t really work for me.

  I was the troublemaking, bad influence on a master vampire the Ring clearly wanted to draw back into the fold—a fold of ancient, powerful men making life or death decisions on behalf of vampires all around the world while safely perched on their fancy golden thrones.

  I’d never been to the Ring headquarters (I knew it was somewhere in California but didn’t know much more than that), but I liked to imagine that there were golden thrones there. Maybe even a dragon or two. But this was probably due to my recent binge of Game of Thrones.

  “Have you ever been to the Ring headquarters?” I asked aloud.

  “No,” Alicia replied. “Why, have you?”

  “No. It’s kind of cloaked in secrets, isn’t it?”

  “And covered in secret sauce,” she agreed.

  I eyed her. “That sounds like something I’d say.”

  She grinned. “I know being witness to the level of hocus-pocus you just saw is a bit of a shock if you’re not used to it. It’s kind of like a Las Vegas show on acid.”

  “Are you used to it?” I asked.

  “Not really. But I’ve been around longer than you. After another century, just imagine all the things you’ll have experienced.”

  “I try not to think that far ahead,” I admitted, and scanned the empty diner. “So. What do you do for fun in this town? It seems I have a few hours to kill.”

  Alicia gave a dismissive wave. “Oh, I’m done with Assjacket now. I got exactly what I needed.”

  My gaze snapped back to hers, hyper-focusing on any clues to her choice to come here in the first place. “That’s great. Congrats. So, if you’re in no hurry to go back to your husband, now what?”

  She gave me a broad smile. “Let’s just say I’m a woman with big plans.”

  I got the feeling that she wanted to talk, which would be incredibly helpful in finding out about her alleged, but potentially evil boyfriend. And since it seemed we shared a similar sense of humor, that might help establish a nice rapport here.

  I felt a sudden and very strong urge to impress Thierry with my sleuthing abilities on this assignment. It was my birthday in a couple of weeks, and I really wanted to earn a big, sparkly birthday present.

  A diamond bracelet would be lovely. But if I got to unwrap it on a Hawaiian beach during a tardy-but-welcome honeymoon, it would be even lovelier.

  I mean, a girl could dream.

  “Big plans, you say?” I asked casually. “Okay, you’ve piqued my curiosity. If you need a friendly ear, I actually have two of them available right now.”

  Alicia regarded me for a moment in silence. “First, give me your opinion, Sarah. Do you think I should go back to my husband like he wants me to?”

  I decided to answer her seriously, which probably wouldn’t be the same answer that Thierry would give. “I think you should do whatever makes you happy. It’s your life.”

  “You think happiness is important?”

  “One hundred percent,” I told her firmly. “Life’s way too short to be miserable, especially if you’re immortal.”

  “I couldn’t agree more.” Alicia sipped thoughtfully from her teacup and studied me for another moment in silence before she spoke again. “I know we just met, but I feel like you and I could be good friends.”

  I wasn’t entirely sure I felt the same way, but I figured it was best to play along. “I feel the same way,” I replied.

  “Do you know how hard it is to find friends you can really trust? Who’ll be there for you through thick and thin, the good times and the bad? Who will have your back no matter what?”

  I thought of Amy and how it seemed that we’d recently drifted apart, and my throat tightened. It felt like grief, like I’d lost something very important, and I had no idea how to fix it.

  “It is hard,” I said. “That’s why, if you’re lucky enough to have that kind of friendship, you need to hold onto it with both hands and never let go.”

  “Exactly. Let me ask you another question, Sarah: do you like being a vampire?”

  It wasn’t a question usually asked so directly, but I appreciated her bluntness. “Honestly? It depends on the day. It’s been a bit of a rocky road since I was sired, but…I mean, I have Thierry. I seriously don’t know what I’d have done without him.”

  “You’re so lucky,” Alicia said wistfully. “Thierry’s a good man. I thought I married a good one, too, but Franklin…” She shook her head. “He was only looking for some arm candy to take to events, not a partner to share his life with. And it took me far too many years to realize that.”

  “You live, you learn,” I replied. “And sometimes you move on.”

  “True.”

  “Is that why you’re here?” I ventured. “Because you’re moving on to…oh, I don’t know. Someone else?”

  “Actually, yes. And—to be honest? Something else, as well.”

  Now I was on the edge of my seat, but I knew I couldn’t push too much or she might clam up. “Now you’ve got my full attention.”

  “It’s nice to have someone to talk to,” Alicia said, “Especially someone who understands the problems of vampire life. When I was sired, it was all very new and frightening to me. I didn’t have any movies, or novels, or television shows to reference—either the sparkling or the horror-filled ones. Just a wounded neck, a thirst for blood, and a million questions.”

  I was disappointed she’d so quickly hopped to another subject. Still, I decided to follow her lead without trying to force the conversation too much. “I’d seen my share of vampire entertainment before I became one,” I admitted. “So, I was mostly bummed that I couldn’t turn into a bat. I mean, talk about a letdown.”

  Alicia chuckled at this. “Would you really want to turn into a bat?”

  I shrugged. “Is it wrong that I’d like the option?”

  “I suppose not. But that’s just it; there are so many limitations to a potentially endless life. It’s made me question so many things that I’ve taken for granted all these years—about what I really want the most.”

  “Have you come to any conclusions?” I asked.

  “I have.” A wicked smile played at her lips. “I want what Franklin has. What Thierry has. What so many master vampires have that has been denied to me all of my existence.”

  “Which is?”

  “Power,” she said simply. “And it was only recently that I met a special someone who showed me the path I could take to…well, let’s just say, level up.”

  And we’d officially arrived at our destination: evil boyfriend talk. I seriously deserved a shiny trophy.

  Easy peasy. Thierry would be so impressed.

  Time to nail down the details before Thierry returned, and we put Assjacket in the rearview mirror. “Let me guess, you want to be a Ring elder with this special someone’s help?”

  “Oh, no,” she replied with a shudder. “Definitely not. I couldn’t imagin
e a more dreary career.”

  “Absolutely no judgment here, Alicia, but I’m assuming you’re talking about a boyfriend? One that your husband probably doesn’t know about?”

  “I suppose you could call him that,” she said, her eyes shining. “Oh, Sarah, he’s incredible in so many ways. He’s opened my eyes to a myriad of possibilities I’ve never even considered before.”

  “Sounds…dreamy. Is he here in this town too?”

  “Oh, no. He’s in Paris.”

  Okay, so all she’d really admitted to was having an affair with someone currently on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. That didn’t exactly line up with anything fishy happening here and now.

  “Tell me more about him,” I said. “I mean, if you want to.”

  “I’d love to, actually. Damon…” Alicia sighed dreamily. “Well, he’s the kind of man who can make all your dreams come true.”

  I had a name. I had a location. This was good, even though I had started to feel a bit guilty by my shameless prying. Alicia seemed truly happy talking about this dude. She’d lit up for the first time just by saying his name.

  “So my dream of becoming a bat could finally come to fruition,” I joked.

  Alicia chuckled. “You never know.”

  “Is he a vampire?”

  “No. Actually, he’s a shoemaker.”

  I blinked. “A shoemaker.”

  She nodded. “He makes the most exquisite shoes you’ve ever seen in your life.”

  The answer came as a surprise, of course. A shoemaker who lived in France. That didn’t exactly sound like a criminal mastermind to me.

  “Well, I do love me some shoes,” I admitted. “And if you’re saying he can make dreams come true, too—what’s your dream?”

  Her bright expression turned serious in the span of a heartbeat. “My dream, Sarah, is to be able to wield real magic as easily as one of the witches here in this town. That is true power.”

  Based on her boyfriend being a dreamy shoemaker, I kind of figured she wanted a killer pair of heels. My mistake.

  I spread my hands. “Unfortunately, there’s not much magic in being a vampire. Unless you learn some nifty card tricks.”