Unsuitable

by Ainslie Paton

  He laughed and opened his arms again and this time they hugged like two people who liked each other. On her way out the door he called her name and she turned back to face him.

  “Don’t screw up any accounts either, okay?”

  She laughed and pulled the door closed behind her. She knew without Chris saying it she needed to sit on this news until it was official. She could leak it to Les, but more importantly she wanted to share it with Reece. And she knew exactly how.

  She arrived home to the sound of laughter. Mia’s and Reece’s voices mingling. As soon as she set foot in the hallway proper they’d hear her. She hovered on the front step listening to a happy child. Reece was folding washing, teaching Mia how to match and roll socks. In about an hour Mia would slip out of angel mode straight into demon child with no suitable explanation and no interim stops in between, but for now her giggles as Reece tried to get her to fold one of his t-shirts that would swamp her like a bed-sheet were the cherry on the cake of the day.

  Having her career didn’t automatically make her a bad mother. It meant she could provide the best for Mia. It meant she could keep Reece. It meant she had time to work out what she felt for him, untangle all the threads that defined them: boss, employee, carer, cared for, lovers.

  She stepped into the hallway.

  “Mum.” Mia’s running feet. She appeared wearing Reece’s shirt over her clothes. “Look, I’m Reece.” The man himself appeared behind her. He leant against the wall, barefoot, arms folded. They locked eyes until Mia stood on her toes, opened her legs and arms starfish style, making herself as big as she knew how. “Hello Audrey,” she tucked her chin into her neck and made her voice low, “did you have a good day at work?”

  Audrey dumped keys and bag and went forward to sweep Mia up before she tripped herself. She settled Mia on her hip. “I had a great day at work.” She looked to Reece. “I got a promotion.”

  He grinned. “For real?”

  She spun around, dancing in a circle with Mia. “For real, for real, for real.” Mia squealed, Reece laughed. She stopped and looked at him. She couldn’t conceive of this house without him in it. Or her life without him in it. She’d almost lost the chance to have this, laughter and hope and success and family. Tears burned the back of her eyes.

  Mia put her hands on Audrey’s face. “Mum, are you sad?”

  “No, I’m happy.”

  Mia frowned. “Oh. I don’t understand.”

  Audrey laughed, she blinked the tears away. “Happy and sad are sometimes very close together.”

  “I was sad when you were sick, but now I’m happy, and there are no more monsters,” said Mia.

  Audrey looked to Reece. No more monsters, only the monstrous opportunity to be happier than she’d ever thought possible.

  19: Secrets

  Mia melted down right before dinner. Reece should’ve predicted it. Overtired, hungry, unsettled by seeing Audrey in her work clothes again—who knows. She sulked. She pouted. She cried. She wanted to eat in front of the TV, which she knew she wasn’t allowed to do.

  Audrey’s work clothes did something to him too. He’d gotten used to seeing her in casual gear with her hair loose or tied back simply, and no make-up. The suit was navy with fine pinstripes, a narrow skirt, a jacket that should’ve fitted better. He wanted to run his hands over her legs while she wore those stilt heels, open her jacket to see what was under it other than the hint of white above the top button. But for the stunning tantrum that sucked all the air out of the room and stole the best of his attention, that’s what he’d be doing. Touching Audrey.

  He had to make do with listening to her through Mia’s grizzles as he tried to get her to eat anything. In the middle of telling him about her meeting with Chris, Audrey clapped her hands. “Mia, what is wrong?”

  “I don’t like—”

  “You like it perfectly every other time. If you eat in front of the TV this one time will you stop crying?”

  The Miapocalypse ceased.

  Instantly.

  Reece looked at the ceiling. One time wouldn’t hurt. He turned back to the salmon salad he was preparing for later for the grown-ups. Audrey took Mia’s plate and cup and a triumphant Mia into the other room. It was blissfully quiet if you forgave the sound of Peppa Pig.

  “Anyway, it goes like this.” Audrey was back.

  He sighed. He’d get a few moments with her. Maybe even enough time to get his hands on her. He smelled of fish, she smelled floral and sweet. Mia had tried his patience today. All he wanted was Audrey in his arms.

  “Hi.” He threw a tea towel on the bench and opened his arms.

  She walked into them and tipped her head so he could kiss her neck. “Hi.”

  “You just waltzed in there—”

  “I sashayed, according to Chris.”

  “And asked for a promotion.”

  “I was bolshie and big noted myself like a man would and it worked.”

  She laughed then turned her face so he could get to her lips. He took them, then took her waist and sat her on the kitchen counter. Now he could get to her legs.

  “You were brave.”

  Did he have a right to feel proud of her? Her cleverness had nothing to do with him, but the feeling that swelled inside him could only be called pride.

  “I was foolhardy. In every scenario I rehearsed with Les I was losing my job and I was losing you.”

  He ran his hands up her calves to the back of her knees, got one between them to her thigh. She clamped her legs around it. Her skin was so hot through her stocking. He had a picture of her cool under pressure in the office but steamed up under him in bed.

  “Never going to lose me, Aud.”

  He undid her jacket with his free hand, there was a silky slip of a thing under it that flowed on her like last night’s whiskey had coated his anger.

  “I like the sound of never.” She had one hand in his hair, one under the back of his shirt.

  The skirt was too close around her legs to let him stand between them, to allow him to move his hand much further up her thigh. Something had to give, the skirt, his hand. He could see the outline of her bra, her nipple. What? “Did you just say—”

  “I spilled it.”

  They both jumped at the sound of Mia’s voice. He pulled away from Audrey and reached for the kitchen towels. His phone rang, vibrating on the counter, they all looked at it. He went with Mia and cleaned up the spill. Then he got her bathed and teeth cleaned and into bed without much protest. Little monkey knew she was in trouble. His phone went off again. He let it ring out. He read The Cat in the Hat until Mia’s eyes started drooping and when he got back to the kitchen it was empty.

  Audrey came in while he was listening to the messages. The suit was gone, in its place she had her chunky dressing gown on. He wanted to smash his phone underfoot. Sky’s timing was superb, beat even Mia’s.

  “It’s not what you think,” he said.

  “What do you think I think?” Audrey levered herself back on the kitchen counter where she’d been before. She still had the shoes on. They were usually the first thing she dumped, along with her bag, phone and watch.

  He tossed his phone into the fruit bowl. “You think I’ve got something going on the side with Sky.” Goddamn, that fucked him off that she’d think that, but why else the cool manner, the stodgy dressing gown. He knew she’d looked down at the phone screen same as he did and saw Sky’s name come up.

  She took the clip out of her hair and shook it out. “I don’t think you’ve got something going on the side. You don’t have time for a side and even if you did, you are not a man who’d two-time a woman.”

  There was nothing in her voice to give him a clue where her head was at. She might be mocking him. “You don’t think. But you saw.”

  “I saw an ex-girlfriend, someone you cared for, call you. Annoyingly.” She played with the tie on the robe. “If you’ve got something you want to tell me, you’d better do it.”

  “There are
no secrets. You know everything there is to know about me.” Audrey simply didn’t need to be bothered with this. “Sky wants us to get back together again.”

  “Ah.” Audrey reefed the tie on the gown tighter.

  “She’s been calling.” He scrubbed his head, irritated beyond cranky kids and spilt milk. “I need to go see her, talk her down. I’ve been putting it off. Yes, she means a lot to me, but I was never in love with her, Audrey, and there’s no future for Sky and me.”

  “You’re sure? You don’t owe me anything. We can go back to how we were before. This new job is going to soak up time. I won’t have much energy for anything else.”

  He folded his arms. First he’d gotten defensive about Audrey knowing Sky was calling, and now Audrey was saying she didn’t have time for him. Head spin. Hadn’t she just said the whole never being lost from each other thing sounded good?

  “Are you telling me there’s no room for me in your life, only Mia’s?” That’s what the fugly dressing gown said, loud and clear.

  “I’m asking if you’d rather be somewhere else.”

  “I told you last night where I wanted to be and just then, before the spilt milk. I mean it.”

  “Good.” Her eyes were down. “I only wanted to be sure.” She pulled the tie on the robe and drew it open.

  Air snagged in his throat. “Holy fuck.”

  “You like?”

  She had proper matching sheer underwear on, completely see-through. She had old-fashioned stockings with clips and a belt to hold them up. He had to unstick his tongue from the roof of his mouth.

  “You had this on under that suit?”

  She nodded. “I figured it was going to be a bad day. I only had to look like a good girl on the outside. Thought I’d lose the war, but come home and win the battle with you.”

  He pressed a hand between her thighs and moved her knees apart. “You look like a good girl to me.” He shifted between her legs. The underwear hid nothing. Jesus. Her nipples were furled and rosy. His gut tightened.

  She laughed. “That’s not what I was going for.”

  He put a finger under one of the straps that held her stocking. He’d never been with a woman wearing these before. All manner of nano-underwear, string and slits and cut-outs, lots of skin art; tattoos and piercing, especially during his fighting days, but not this sweetest of dirty seductions. He ran his finger between the clip and the top of the belt, elastic lace on one side, warm, silky skin on the other. “I’ve forgotten the question.”

  She laughed.

  He asked his own. “You’re not mad at me about Sky?” He pulled his finger away, the elastic flicked against her thigh and they both flinched.

  “I’m not mad with you. Hard to envisage I ever could be.”

  She put her hands to his shoulders. He was having a hard time looking her in the face. There was so much else to look at, and knowing she’s worn this gear for him as much as for herself on a day she expected to lose made it impossible to concentrate on anything else. She was wet. He could smell it and see it. A real apocalypse wouldn’t keep him from her.

  “I love you, Reece.”

  Now he looked at her lovely face, flushed and clear of make-up, just her spiky eyelashes left. Her hair was wild, curled around her shoulders, her eyes so bright they sparked.

  “Mia was loud a lot today. I think I’m going deaf. What did you say?”

  “I love you.”

  He dropped his eyes to her legs. Couldn’t hide his face splitting grin. “Still didn’t get that.” He flicked the strip of elastic deliberately, making her jerk, and ran another finger across the top edge of the bra down to the bow at the centre and then across her other breast. She shivered; he was painfully hard. Mia had better stay in her damn bed.

  “I love you, Reece. I’ve been scared to feel it. But I know it’s true.”

  He closed his hand over her breast. Was this really happening? “I’m a fair dinkum hero. I get the job and the girl.”

  She groaned because what he was doing to the girl was no job, all pleasure for both of them. He licked the nipple he’d just pinched through the thin net of her bra. She pulled at his shirt and he stepped back to yank it over his head. Fuck, yeah, this was happening.

  Audrey’s eyes were locked on his. “If that kid gets out of bed, we’re risking bad dreams, wet sheets, a stuffed animal invasion, attachment problems as an adult. We’re yelling at her till she gets back in there and stays.”

  He grinned. He could deal with that. He needed to deal with sheer silk and lace and satin skin and the smell of Audrey’s arousal more than he wanted to wrangle a kid who didn’t want to go to bed. He sent up a prayer that Mia wouldn’t choose tonight to have sore toes, or a moth in her room, or need a drink of water urgently in the one special glass that was unwashed in the dishwasher.

  “You’re so beautiful, Audrey.”

  She held her arms out. “You’re pretty awe inspiring yourself.”

  He stepped between her legs again slid his hands around her waist under the robe to palm her butt. He lifted her into him, pressed their torsos together; heat and the scratch of that lace became fierce need. He kissed his way across her shoulder, up her neck, to her mouth.

  He didn’t know if having Audrey love him was going to change things more than it had already done since they’d fallen for each other, and he didn’t care. He’d roll with whatever she needed for herself and for Mia.

  He nipped at her lips, teasing her with his teeth until she clawed his chest. His ‘ow’ was muffled in her mouth, soothed away by her tongue. The house could burn down around them he wasn’t giving up this kiss, this chance to be with her, to make certain she knew it meant love not just fucking around.

  He lay her back over the counter and drank her in. Fucking sexy. How was it some other guy wasn’t doing this to her? How was it he got to be the one she chose?

  Her cheeks were pink and the rosy hue filtered down her neck and across the throat. She was gorgeous. That bra was like a frame on a favourite photograph, he liked it, he’d leave it, but the stockings had to go before he could get to her pants, and the pants had to go no matter how pretty they were.

  “I love this stuff.” He studied the hook on the stockings. Not like a bra hook. There’d be one at the back too. He ran his hands round her thighs and found it. “Can’t believe you wore it to work.”

  “I wore it for you to take off me.”

  Hell, yeah. But that was going to slow things up. He was all thumbs and couldn’t work the clip and he didn’t want to tear any of it and that looked too easy to do. She put her hand down on his and showed him how the hook worked. He pressed a kiss to the skin above the edge of the stocking. It made her gasp. He fastened his lips there and took both hands to the back of her thigh and unhooked the stocking. He drew it down her leg, his mouth following, open and tonguing, down her thigh, over her knee, her shin, all the way to her ankle. He took off her shoe, drew the stocking off her foot and lay it over the back of a chair, bringing her bare foot to his chest and pressing his thumb under her toes. She groaned and lifted her hips and he really could see everything, so fucking hot.

  He put the heel of his hand between her legs, just held it there and grunted when she bucked against it, moaning, trying to get off.

  “God, baby. You think I’d go anywhere else, with anyone else for this. Not ever.”

  He needed both hands to deal with the other stocking. She’d dropped the shoe. He worked the two clips and smoothed the stocking down her leg, passing it over his lips before tossing it over the chair back.

  Then it was the pants, but he needed her mouth, he needed the feeling of her live wire electric in his arms. He kissed her in a smear of haste and hunger, stroking her side, hooking his fingers into the lace at her hips. She flexed up and he pulled the pants down her legs, watching her eyes, full and wild, hearing her breath hard and short.

  He should pick her up and take her to the bedroom, before this went any further. He should care where th
ey were, how she was in no condition to be sensible. He pressed his thumb to her clit and she bit down on her own knuckle. He rubbed and circled and squeezed and she shook and gasped, her eyes jammed tight. She was so close and he’d barely touched her, and he wanted to keep her like this, needing, on the edge and out of options, depending on him for her pleasure.

  “Reece, please.”

  His name came out a hiss, all sibilance before footsteps in the hall.

  “Mum.”

  Shit. “Mia, don’t you come out here.” He gathered Audrey to him. He didn’t let up on her, keeping her just there, just there, almost there. Audrey put her teeth to his neck. Mia made a sound. He’d frightened her with his voice all lust rough. “Go back to bed right now.”

  Mia ran down the hall towards her room. He slid two fingers inside Audrey and captured her mouth to swallow her scream as she jerked and thrust against him, coming and coming and clinging to him, fingers dug in to the back of his ribs, sucking his tongue.

  He gave her no time to recover, swept her up and carried her to his bed. They weren’t done. He’d never be done with her.

  She lay on the bed, hair wild, eyes half-mast, half dressed. “I love you. I’ll be back.”

  He left her to check on Mia. He slipped into her room by the soft glow of her night light, too quick to miss her shutting her eyes in pretend sleep.

  “Go to sleep, Mia.”

  Her eyes snapped open. “I want Mum.”

  He sat on the bed. “No. It’s late. Go to sleep.” This kid was going to kill his erection if this took any longer. One look at her mother, though, and he’d be right to go again.

  “You scared me.”

  Yeah, well. Sometimes a little scared was a good thing. “Everyone in this house is in bed now so you need to be as well.”

  “Can I have a kiss goodnight?”

  Jesus. He shifted, uncomfortable. She’d never once in all their time together asked for that. His mouth was full of Audrey. He stood, pulled the quilt up so it covered Mia, tucked the sheet in so she was snug. “You can have a good morning kiss instead.”