Next Door To A Star

by Krysten Lindsay Hager

  Nurse Cohen let me stay in her office during lunch and she even brought me some crackers. I had been eating lunch in the bathroom ever since Lexi moved. I felt awkward asking people to sit at their lunch table—everyone already had their groups or their best friend, and now that mine was gone, I was alone and looked desperate. I decided I’d rather eat a peanut butter sandwich next to a toilet than have to beg somebody to let me sit with them.

  ***

  My mother met me at the door when I got home. I got bad vibes from the way her lips were set in a straight line.

  “Hadley Alana Daniels, the school nurse called and said you’ve been in her office twice this week,” she said.

  “I didn’t feel good.” Great, did the school monitor how many times I went to the bathroom too?

  “Is everything okay at school?” she asked.

  I didn’t want her to know I didn’t have anyone to eat lunch with, so I nodded.

  “Is it because Lexi’s gone? Huh?” She put her hand on my shoulder. “What’s going on?”

  I pulled away. “I’m fine.”

  All I needed was my mother calling the school about Brittany. I didn’t get why Brittany had turned on me during gym. She never seemed to have a problem with me before. I wondered if she thought I was trying to get between her and Isabella. Some girls could be weird like that and had to be the one everyone liked the best.

  My dad came home from work, and naturally my mother had to tell him I was in the nurse’s office…again.

  “What’s going on, Hadley?” he asked when my mom went upstairs.

  I shrugged. “Nothing. Some girl was kinda rude to me in gym and I needed to get away.”

  “Rude? What did she say?”

  “I mean…nothing to my face. She didn’t like that I asked her best friend to hang out.”

  “She’s jealous,” he said, waving the whole thing off. “Ignore it.” Then he went into a speech on how these were the “best years of your life, so you better enjoy ‘em.”

  Great, so it was only going to get worse? I didn’t know if I could take it. I tried to explain it was hard to find a group to hang out with now that Lexi had moved, but my dad wasn’t getting it. He didn’t understand why you couldn’t hang out with everyone. Then he told me to invite a friend over, because “they’d like you if they got to know you.”

  Then, a few days later, a new girl named Jennifer Yamaguchi came to our school. Mrs. Dultrieve had her sit next to me and asked me to show Jen around. I was feeling pretty positive to have someone new to hang out with. I showed her how to order her lunch on the computer in the cafeteria, and I took her to the library because I went there sometimes while everybody else went outside.

  “The librarians don’t care if you eat in the magazine section as long as you don’t get crumbs all over.” I pulled out my sandwich and my Jack Brogger bear keychain fell out.

  “Are you a Brogger too?” she asked, taking her Jack keychain out.

  “Yes! I have the bigger bear too. I ordered from the website and he has a little concert t-shirt on.”

  “I want one of those so bad,” she said. “I’ve seen him in concert twice.”

  “Jack’s my favorite singer,” I said.

  “Mine too. No one else at my old school was that into him. They like that stupid boy band from the U.K. Not one of those guys is anywhere near as cute as Jack,” she said.

  We watched Jack videos on my phone until the bell rang.

  ***

  The next day, Jen sat with Isabella and her friends at lunch. I waited for her at her locker, but she never showed up. I had asked Jen to come over after school to hang out and watch Video Request Countdown, which was Jen’s favorite show too. I sat in the family room and waited all afternoon for her. Mom thought Jen misunderstood and thought she was supposed to come over tomorrow instead. I nodded and went up to my room even though they were premiering Jack’s new video at night. I didn’t want my parents to see me cry.

  ***

  When I got to school the next day, I saw Jen with Isabella and Brittany. I wanted to ask why she didn’t come over, but I wasn’t brave enough to go over there. I basically knew why anyway. I mean, why be friends with me when you could hang out with someone like Isabella? I bet the only reason Brittany wanted to hang out with her was because Jen’s dad drove a BMW. Jen saw me standing there. Our eyes locked for a minute, but then she started talking to someone else. I’d show them all when I got to hang out with Simone Hendrickson for the summer.

  After school, I missed the bus and decided to walk home instead of calling for a ride. I had walked home before and it was no big deal, but today Brittany decided to follow me home. Her house wasn’t even near mine, but she stayed in step with me every inch of the way. I held my bag tightly to my chest.

  “Running home to play with your bear?” she asked. Oh my—Jen told her about that? How embarrassing. Why did I tell her about that?

  Brittany’s breath smelled like tuna fish and feet as it pressed against my neck. I pretended not to hear her and kept walking. I could see my house coming up and I broke into a run. I didn’t stop until I got into my bedroom. I curled up on the bed, and my heart was pounding as I rested Jack the bear’s head on my chest. I stayed there until my mother called me for dinner.

  Chapter Three

  The next few days were even worse. Jennifer had told Isabella and Brittany about how I wanted to go to Grand Haven to see Jack and made me sound like a weirdo stalker. So embarrassing. Isabella didn’t say anything, but Brittany wouldn’t let it go and she pretended to cough the word, “loser,” when I walked past her in homeroom. To make matters worse, Mrs. Dultrieve heard Brittany call me a “loser” and made her apologize to me in front of the whole class. I wanted to die. I thought I might get my wish since Brittany seemed like she might murder me.

  “Hadley, I’m sorry I said you have no friends and the only person who would ever be your friend is a bear because you’re such a loser,” Brittany said. I sank down in my seat. I thought Mrs. Dultrieve would see through her fake apology, but sometimes it felt like even the teachers were on the side of the popular people.

  “See, not so hard,” Mrs. Dultrieve said. “Now what do you say, Hadley?”

  “It’s okay,” I said.

  “You’ll have to speak up. We can’t hear you,” she said.

  “It’s okay.”

  “Open your mouth wider, dear.”

  “It’s okay.” It came out loud and the whole class laughed.

  I couldn’t wait until school ended. Everything would be all right on June third—the last day of school. No more Brittany stepping on the back of my shoe as I walked down the hall or people telling me “this seat is saved” when I asked if I could sit with them. As soon as this year ended, I would be free until September. Or so I thought.

  ***

  At night, I sat down to dinner with my parents. I was taking a bite of my dinner when my mom dropped a bombshell.

  “Hadley, Dad and I have been talking, and we think you should go away to the school’s camp this summer.”

  Camp? No way, they could not do this to me. I was supposed to spend my summer looking for Jack Brogger in Grand Haven, not going to some stupid camp for losers.

  “That camp is more for the middle schoolers. High school kids can train to be counselors there, but you can’t apply for that unless you’ve gone to the camp before, and I haven’t,” I said.

  “That’s not what we’re getting at. We think it would do you some good to socialize more this summer.”

  “But you already said I could go to Grand Haven,” I said.

  “Yes, but you’ve had a hard time since Lexi moved, and this would be a great way for you to get to know some of your classmates better, and I bet there will be some new people there,” Mom said as Dad handed me the crappy camp flyer my stupid school had sent everyone.

  “There’s swimming, hiking, painting—”

  “I don’t like to do any of those things.” I interrupte
d my dad.

  “You like to paint,” he said. “Take your hair out of your mouth, Hadley. It’s a disgusting habit.”

  “You can’t make me go. I don’t even know how to swim,” I said. “I’ll drown and die.”

  My mother reminded me I did know how to swim, so I reminded her of how I almost drowned in Mr. Stevens’ pool six years ago. Mom said she’d write me a note so I wouldn’t have to swim and told me losing one water-wing didn’t count as drowning.

  “Mom, I went underwater and I couldn’t breathe.”

  “Oh, maybe for two seconds. There’s plenty of other things you could do at camp,” she said.

  I almost started to cry right at the table. Summer was supposed to be my chance to get away. To get to know Simone and go somewhere I wasn’t invisible and start all over. Maybe even be somebody else. To be anyone but who the people at school thought I was.

  “Well, you can’t spend your whole summer watching TV,” Dad said.

  Why not? He spent his summers in front of the TV. There was no way I could go to some stupid camp with a bunch of people who didn’t notice me now. I mean, I couldn’t sleep without Jack the bear, and I couldn’t imagine what would happen if I brought him with me. I had seen enough movies about camp to know there’s always some kid who all the other campers make fun of for the whole summer. In the movies it was always some spoiled rich kid who was the target, but even then that kid was rich, so they didn’t have too much to complain about.

  “There’s a girl my age next door to Grandma—”

  “Yes, but your father and I thought this would give you an opportunity to get to know the kids around here. Now that Lexi is gone, you really need to branch out and meet some new people before sophomore year.”

  So my own mother thought I was a friendless loser and that I better make some friends now or else the rest of high school was going to stink. Fabulous. Well, maybe she shouldn’t have sent me to some stupid private school with like, twenty kids in each class. How was I supposed to meet people when there was nobody to meet? And don’t get me started on the boys. They were all short and talked about going to the toilet all the time. Sure, it would be great if I could spend all summer hanging out with people around here, but I knew I wasn’t going to get to know anybody at camp. At least in Grand Haven I could have fun. Besides, maybe Simone and I would become friends.

  She sighed. “Well, if you want to go to your grandparents’…I guess we did say it was all right. Maybe you and the neighbor girl will hit it off.”

  Somehow I doubted we’d become best friends, but maybe we would hang out once in a while. And maybe Jack Brogger and I would be dating by the end of the summer too. Yeah, that was probably not gonna happen, but a girl could dream.

  Chapter Four

  I didn’t even get to sleep in on the first day of summer vacation because Uncle Stu’s SUV drove into the driveway at exactly eight o’clock. My eight-year-old cousin Clark, and Lily, who was almost two, were strapped in the middle seats, so I had to sit in the back next to all the suitcases. At least I wouldn’t have Lily drooling on me, because she seemed to be getting spit everywhere. I had brought a book along, but it was hard to concentrate with Clark’s video game, Armageddon 5: The Final Bludgeoning, beeping away. Somehow, despite the noise, I managed to fall asleep. As we pulled up in front of the house, I saw my grandparents and Aunt Faith waiting for us on the porch. Grandpa gave me a hug and helped Uncle Stu unpack the car. Aunt Maggie tried to give Lily to Grandma, but Lily was covered with spit and some red juice stuff she had spilled in the car, so Grandma handed her off to Aunt Faith.

  “Aren’t you a sticky baby?” Aunt Faith said as Lily blew spit bubbles at her. “Aw, so cute.” Grandma pulled a tissue out of her sleeve to wipe Lily’s hands. I was tired after sitting so long, but Grandma wanted us to go out to lunch so we all piled back into the SUV. We went to a restaurant and sat at a table overlooking the lake, and I split a pepperoni and mushroom pizza with Aunt Faith. I hadn’t tried thin crust pizza before, and it tasted like a chewy cracker. Clark started whining about getting dessert. Grandma didn’t think Lily and Clark needed any sugar, but she sighed and went along with it.

  “Hadley, order something white in case you spill,” Grandma said, pointing to my white Forever 21 sweatshirt.

  “You can have whatever flavor you want,” Aunt Faith said, rolling her eyes. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I asked for a chocolate and vanilla twisty cone. Grandma handed me a bunch of napkins and told me not to drip.

  After lunch, Uncle Stu, Aunt Maggie, and Grandpa played soccer with Clark and some neighbor kids. Clark had only been here for five hours and he had already made three new friends. Even Lily had found a toddler who was almost as sticky as she was. Meanwhile, I sat with Grandma, who kept telling Grandpa not to “be so rough” with the kids.

  “Hadley, do you want me to take you over to see Simone?” Grandma asked. “I mentioned to her mother you were arriving today.”

  I did, but my outfit was wrinkled and my skin was super greasy after being in the car all afternoon.

  “I’d rather meet her another day when I don’t look like I spent hours riding in a car,” I said. Of course, even if I took three hours to get ready and had Jennifer Lopez’s stylist do my hair, I’d still look like a blob next to Simone.

  Uncle Stu took us to the beach on Saturday. I played in the sand with Lily while Clark took off with his new friends. There were two girls who were lying out in the sun. One of the girls was Asian with long, dark hair and the other girl had curly blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail. They both had deep tans, halter top bikinis, and were reading Teen Vogue and InTouch. My dad wouldn’t let me subscribe to any magazines because he thought they were a waste of money, so I had to buy them when he wasn’t around.

  I watched the dark-haired girl pull on a hoodie with “Juicy” on the back as they walked over to the snack stand and came back with what appeared to be a big red snowball in a cup.

  “Hadley, do you want to come with me to get a snack or something to drink?” Uncle Stu asked. I followed him to the snack shack. I wanted the snowball thing, but when I ordered a sno-cone, the girl behind the counter told me they didn’t have sno-cones and held up a red Popsicle instead. It wasn’t what I wanted, but I started to reach for it until I saw some guy eating what I wanted.

  “Wait, what’s he having?” I asked.

  “Oh, a Tropical Icy. What flavor do you want?” she asked.

  “Red,” I said.

  “Cherry?” she asked, raising her eyebrow like I was stupid. Okay, so red wasn’t a flavor, but I guess I didn’t look too dumb since she was the genius who didn’t realize a Tropical Icy was like a sno-cone. I went back to my beach towel and tried to figure out how to eat it. It came with a spoon, but the other girls had eaten it like an ice cream cone. I tried it and slurped all the color and flavor off. I watched the two girls reapplying their tanning oil and changing sides so they would tan even on both sides. Something about them made me wish I were invisible. They could have been models, and there I was with a toddler who was always covered in spit and my uncle with his attractive farmer’s tan.

  ***

  Clark and his friends went out on the lake the next day. Uncle Stu invited me to go along, but being trapped on a boat with a bunch of eight-year-old boys was not my idea of fun. I plugged in the TV, but my grandparents didn’t have cable, so it was pointless. I had my laptop but the wi-fi in the house was weird and the internet kept going down.

  I checked out the bookshelves, but all of the books were for adults and none of them seemed interesting. I guess I appeared pretty pathetic because Aunt Faith suggested we go downtown and check out the stores. Mom had given me some money so I bought a Cary McKissack book, a glitter glue pen, and some Gummi cola bottles.

  “Don’t tell Grandma I let you buy candy,” Aunt Faith said. “She doesn’t mind baked goods and ice cream, but she doesn’t like us to eat candy for some reason.”

  I thought it was weir
d my aunt would worry about hiding candy from her mother. Even my mom didn’t care if I ate candy. We went to the juniors department next and found the perfect bathing suit. It was a purple tankini with silver paint splashed across it. It was much hotter than my plain blue suit. I took it into the dressing room along with a pair of jean shorts, some Capri pants, and a Juicy Couture t-shirt with a beach scene on it.

  “How does the suit fit?” Aunt Faith asked through the door.

  The suit definitely made me look older. It had a built-in bra, so it was like I needed a bra, instead of my old suit, which made me look like I needed an adult to help me cross the street. I opened the door and my aunt stepped inside the dressing room.

  “You certainly look more mature,” she said. “Are you going to get it?”

  “Do I look stupid in it?” I didn’t want to look like a little kid trying too hard.

  “You look cute. Is it expensive?” she asked.

  It was on sale and she told me to try on the other stuff while I was deciding. The jean shorts were a lot shorter than I expected, but all of my clothes were so boring. These were like something those girls on the beach would wear.

  “What do you think?” I asked.

  “A little short, but they’re cute.”

  I was hoping for “hot,” but I bought the swimsuit and shorts. Aunt Faith got me the t-shirt and Capri pants because they were the only things Grandma wouldn’t freak out over. I also had to promise not to let Grandma see me in the bathing suit.

  As soon as we got home, Grandma was waiting for us.

  “I talked to Mrs. Hendrickson this afternoon and told her all about you. She said you should come over to see Simone,” Grandma said.

  I felt a cold trickle of sweat run down my side.

  “Well, maybe tomorrow. I’m kind of tired after shopping, and I should probably wash my hair again before I meet someone—”