Rewriting the Ending

by H P Tune

  Bracing herself against the edge of the daybed, Mia climbed over Juliet. “Gymnastics was never my strong point,” she chuckled, fighting to get herself underneath the multiple layers of sheets and blankets. The heating in the room was completely inadequate. “Jesus Christ, this is, well, tiny.”

  “I can sleep on the floor,” Juliet said simply.

  “Not a freakin’ chance.” Mia wrapped her arms around Juliet and kissed her neck. “You’re going to spend the entire night right here. Besides, I like it. It’s very high school.”

  They laid in silence for a few minutes, their breathing settling in to a slow, even rise and fall, inhaling and exhaling in unison. Juliet’s fingers uncurled and slipped around Mia’s wrist, tugging her closer.

  “I didn’t ask about your family thing,” she said, jerking Mia from her thoughts.

  “Shhhh. Sleep tonight and talk later, okay? There’s plenty of time.”

  “Okay,” Juliet whispered, wiggling back as Mia showered her neck with tiny kisses. “God, I’m so glad you’re here.”

  “Me too.”

  “I don’t think I can do this without you. Is that insane?”

  “Shhhh, it’s time to sleep, not think. And I’ll be right here in the morning.”

  As uncomfortable as the small space was, Mia barely moved all night.

  * * *

  The next morning, Juliet was only marginally more communicative. She answered questions but barely initiated a sentence, and Mia thought that she looked lost. It was as if she had built up these high walls around her, simply focussed on surviving whilst she presented a non-emotive exterior to the world. Mia was concerned but not overly worried. She figured that for the moment Juliet could self-protect however she wanted to. That’s how people function in the most awful of circumstances, she told herself. They compartmentalise so they can get done what needs to be done. It’s not dysfunctional or abnormal. It’s just the way the mind has learned to function under stress. She would be worried if it went on and on, but right now, she was just happy that Juliet wanted her there.

  Somehow, they ended up in the car, and Mia was driving, following the GPS-directed route produced when Juliet had punched their destination into the device. She knew that they were going to see Juliet’s mother, and that the navigation system was taking them to St Joseph, just over the state border into Missouri. Other than that, she was completely in the dark. She wasn’t a hundred per cent sure if Juliet had actually asked her to come along or had just expected it, but she certainly hadn’t protested when Mia had opened the passenger door for her and slipped into the drivers’ seat.

  Despite being painfully quiet throughout the almost three-hour drive, Juliet would sporadically reach across the console and place her hand on Mia’s thigh. She would just rest it there, thumb slightly moving back and forth; at times, she would offer Mia a sad smile, but other times, she continued to stare straight ahead. Mia would briefly rub her arm and cover her hand, hoping to silently portray her consistent support.

  Mia tried to talk at times, just idly chatting, but she only got the odd murmur from Juliet, short, one-word, distracted answers. She was only trying to fill the silence anyway and wasn’t fazed at the lack of response. Eventually she needed direction, though, as they took the final few streets and Mia watched the distance to their destination count down.

  “We’re almost there…Am I looking for something in particular? Just a house number or…” the signs on all the streets since the main road had hospital symbols on them. “Juliet? What am I looking for?”

  “Oh, umm.” Juliet refocussed out the window, shaking her head and blinking a few times. “Just take the next turn and then follow it down…” She pointed in front of herself, indicating for Mia to turn right. The GPS announced their arrival. “Keep going, and in here, there’s a car park out front, see?”

  “Yep,” Mia nodded, indicating and turning into the facility. The large sign left little mystery: Northwest Missouri Psychiatric Rehabilitation Centre. “Oh, a psych centre? Your mom isn’t well, huh?”

  Juliet exhaled heavily and shrugged. “The sign’s deceiving. It’s not really rehab. That doesn’t work. She’s been here for years.”

  They parked in a vacant space, and Mia turned off the ignition, unbuckling her seatbelt. Juliet didn’t move. Reaching across, Mia pushed the release button on Juliet’s belt and guided it off her. “All good?”

  Juliet screwed her nose up; it was as expressive as she had gotten since she and Mia had started this drive. “You don’t have to come. It’s probably a duty that can wait for a few more years—girlfriend’s mad mother and all.”

  Mia stifled a soft laugh. “Call me your girlfriend, and I’ll visit anyone you like.” She rubbed Juliet’s arm. “If you’re okay with it, I’d like to come in and meet your mom. You don’t have to do everything on your own, you know.”

  Juliet slowly nodded. “We won’t be here long.”

  Grabbing her handbag from the backseat, Mia got out of the car and walked around to Juliet’s side, holding the door for her. Juliet still protected her ribs as she got out, guarding them with her open palm, her other hand holding a canvas shopping bag.

  Taking Mia’s hand, Juliet led her inside the main entrance, obviously knowing her way through the facility. They signed in at the front desk and then waited at a secure door when Juliet gave her name and the resident they were visiting. “Juliet Taylor visiting Barbara Taylor, please.”

  A young woman appeared at the door, ushering them through before giving Juliet a quick embrace. “I’m sorry to hear about Daniel. We all are.”

  Juliet’s eyes widened. “Had he been visiting?”

  The short, slightly plump woman shrugged, and a tinge of red blushed her cheeks. “Not for a while. He had been deployed, right? We got e-mails that we read to Barbara, much like with many of our other patients.”

  Nodding, Juliet was moving her head in a panoramic glance around the deserted hallway. Mia noticed the upmarket prints on the wall and the wide, freshly carpeted corridor. Rooms ran off the corridor before it curved to the left where there was a huge display of leaflets and booklets—military veterans’ resources and general mental health information.

  “How has she been?”

  “Well, no big changes, but that’s expected. The odd smile recently.”

  “Has she been told about my father?”

  “Yes. There wasn’t a lot of acknowledgement. Dr Kusak isn’t sure she comprehended. But I suppose we can’t really know.” They all paused for a moment as if waiting for someone to make the move to Barbara’s room. “And you’ve been overseas again?”

  “Ah, yeah. I have a deadline.” Juliet shared a glance with Mia. “Can we go in?”

  “Of course, go on in. We’ll be at the nurses’ station if you need anything.” The woman seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. For someone who worked in a psychiatric facility, she seemed incredibly inept at small talk.

  Juliet led Mia along the corridor and to the left, curling an arm around to rest her hand on the small of Mia’s back. Mia’s hand found Juliet’s, sticking with her closely. When they reached the correct door, Juliet knocked a few times before turning the handle. She waved Mia in as she entered, leaving the door slightly ajar.

  “Hi Mom,” she said softly, tucking her hair behind her ears and walking over to the recliner where a woman was seated.

  The room had a single bed in the middle and an en suite bathroom off to the side. A small desk with a few framed photos, a tall wardrobe, and a television monitor lined the wall in view from the bed. Juliet crouched in front of her mother, whose long gray hair fell around her shoulders in neatly brushed lines. She had been dressed in dark slacks, a pink shirt, and an open black sweater.

  “It’s Juliet, Mom. I’m in town.” Placing both of her hands over Barbara’s, Juliet let them rest motionless in her mother’s lap. Mia watched awkwardly at the foot of the bed. Barbara didn’t seem to acknowledge Juliet’s presence, blue eyes staring str
aight ahead.

  Barbara spoke suddenly. “The walls are white. They painted the walls just white, see?”

  Juliet squeezed Barbara’s hands, and Mia’s pulse raced, observing Juliet take in a slow breath. “I see, Mom. I brought someone for you to meet, I hope that’s okay. See at the end of the bed? That’s Mia Revira, Mom.”

  Again, Barbara’s eyes didn’t move, nor did she acknowledge Mia’s presence.

  Mia stepped forward. She moved to sit on the edge of the bed next to Juliet, fingers dragging across Juliet’s shoulder as she lowered herself down. “Hi, Mrs Taylor, I’m so pleased to meet you.”

  “I’ve been staying with Mia in Scotland, and I’ve been working on my next book. I think it’s going to be good.” Juliet twisted her feet out from under her, resting down on her knees. She released Barbara’s hands and sat back on her heels. “I, umm, I got you a few things that they said you needed. I didn’t have much time, but I got you a couple of new shirts and some slippers. They tell me it’s been really cold, so I got you a new jacket— it comes down to your knees, so nice and warm. Maybe you can sit out in the courtyard sometime when the sun’s out.”

  Mia cleared her throat. “There are some seats out there, is that right?” she asked. It was a rhetorical question, of course. Barbara didn’t seem to be electing to move anytime soon. Mia looked out a glass sliding door and beyond a security screen. “Looks like a nice area to get some sun or do some reading,” she said anyway. “Probably a good place to have a snooze or be read to, actually.”

  Juliet turned and smiled up at Mia, who just shrugged and smiled back. Mia wasn’t freaked out. Saddened, yes; freaked out, no.

  “I brought you some snacks too. Do you still like coconut chocolate?” Juliet asked, turning back to her mother’s inert body in the recliner. “And some fudge. I’m not sure you’ll like it, since it’s super sweet. Remember how you never used to let us have sweet things? It’s backfired. I love sweets now.”

  Mia’s thumb found the skin of Juliet’s neck, stroking it between strands of hair. “You might have to watch out, Mrs Taylor,” she said with a slight laugh. “You may not get any of that fudge.”

  Mia noticed a long blink on Barbara’s expressionless face. And when she opened her eyes, they flittered a little, seeming to jump from Juliet to Mia.

  “They took them down to paint the walls white. New white walls, and they took them down,” Barbara said.

  Juliet shook her head, confused, but Mia jumped in. “Oh, the frames, huh? Yeah, they can’t paint around them, so they had to put them on the desk. May I look at them?”

  Not receiving a negative or affirmative response, Mia stood after a couple of moments and walked the short few steps to the desk, bending down to inspect the few frames there.

  “That’s Ben, my brother,” Juliet said softly. “We were what, maybe ten, Mom?”

  “Man, you guys were alike.” Mia checked out Juliet’s features. “Blonde hair and blue eyes runs in the family, obviously.”

  Juliet nodded, standing up and walking over to peer over Mia’s shoulder. “That was my Dad and Ben just before Ben’s first deployment, and there’s Mom and Dad on their wedding day.” She pressed her lips close to Mia’s ear. “Mom was four months pregnant with me.”

  Mia giggled. It must have been quite the scandal back then, she thought, leaning against the side of the desk, one hand on Juliet’s back. “Do you think we can take her outside? It’s pretty sunny, though I guess it’s still cold. But maybe she would like some chocolate.”

  Juliet nodded. She pulled a lever and slowly lowered Barbara’s legs. “Let’s have a look outside, Mom, see how cold it is. How would you like to put on your new coat?”

  Mia reached into the bag and withdrew the jacket, breaking the tag off with her teeth before she held it open before them. “Here you go, feels really warm—good choice, Juliet.”

  She guided Barbara’s arms into the sleeves, and Juliet tugged the jacket closed, doing the buttons up. “Fits perfect,” Mia said.

  Taking her Mom’s hand, Juliet led Barbara outside, opening the sliding door and stepping out into the courtyard. They were settled together on a bench seat when Mia walked out of the room, a medium-sized block of chocolate in her hand and a small plastic bag with a piece of fudge. Barbara looked at Juliet, confused, and seemed to hold her daughter’s hand tighter.

  “That’s Mia, Mom, remember?” Juliet said. “I introduced you inside.”

  “It’s so nice to meet you, Mrs Taylor.” Mia, put on her widest, most placating smile. “I would like to take credit for the chocolate, but it was your daughter. She has a bit of thing for junk food.”

  “Mmmmm.” It was almost a logical and appropriately timed response.

  “Would you like some?” Mia asked, breaking off a line of three squares and holding it out. Barbara took it and bit into it, sucking slowly on a single piece.

  “Thanks,” Juliet whispered, and Mia nodded.

  “You warm enough?” Mia asked Juliet. “I’ve got another layer on. You can use my coat…”

  “Nah, I’m good. I’ve missed the sun.”

  “Yeah, not a lot of sun in Scotland, or Belgium for that matter.” Mia stood in front of them, rolling on the balls of her feet and holding her face to the sun. “How was that chocolate, Mrs Taylor? Not too bad, huh? So I’m guessing you might be keen for this piece of fudge.”

  Barbara’s hand was out before Mia had negotiated the plastic wrapping. Barbara offered another murmur of approval as she took the fudge. “I got a few pieces, Mom. I’ll have the nurses put them in a jar. You can keep it in a drawer. I hope they get you the things you need. We always pay extra for anything else.”

  Juliet sighed. Her mother released her hand to place both of her own on the piece of fudge and was soon nibbling slowly at it. “Guess there’ll be more money now…”

  She glanced up at Mia with a helpless expression. Mia gave her a sympathetic look. “You know, Mrs Taylor, your daughter’s been pretty amazing these last few days. Weeks, actually, but particularly the last few days.”

  Barbara paused, looking between them, just a split second of passing awareness in her eyes before she resumed working on the square of fudge.

  “Do you remember, Mom?” Juliet said. “Dad won’t be visiting anymore. Is there anything you want to know?”

  Not giving any indication that she understood the question, Barbara finished the sweet and dropped her hand back to her lap. Reaching into her pocket, Juliet sighed and then reached for her mom’s hand. She produced a simple gold band, sliding it over Barbara’s thumb; it fit securely over the woman’s knuckle but was loose towards the base. But it wouldn’t fall off. “I thought you would want Dad’s ring,” Juliet said.

  Tearing her hand away and standing up suddenly, Barbara returned quickly to her room and settled back on the recliner, rocking slowly. Juliet bowed her head, and her hands fell to her sides. She rose to her feet, her eyes glassy as she looked at Mia.

  “You’re doing really good,” Mia whispered, placing a hand on the back of Juliet’s head and kissing her temple.

  “I can’t stay much longer.”

  “Sure. I’m ready whenever you are. This must be really hard.”

  Mia kept a hand wrapped around Juliet’s hip as they walked back inside, both sitting on the edge of the bed as Barbara continued to rock. They stayed for another fifteen minutes, but it was tough to have a three-way conversation when only two were really present. They persisted though, mostly thanks to Mia’s ability to talk gently and fluidly, as if Barbara was following and commenting on her small talk.

  When they finally left, Barbara placidly allowed Juliet to press a kiss to her cheek and to squeeze her hands. Juliet stopped at the door. Turning back, she said, “I’ll see you again soon, Mom, okay? I love you.”

  Barbara’s eyes blinked once, and her fingers turned the ring on her thumb over and over. She just stared ahead.

  Leaving some paperwork at the desk on their way out,
Juliet had a quick discussion with the manager in regards to continued financial commitments. Her mom would be the recipient of her father’s life insurance and various army payments, which, along with her brother’s, were more than sufficient for lifelong care.

  Juliet gripped tightly to Mia’s hand as they walked out.

  “You just want to go?” Mia asked quietly. “Or do you need a few minutes?”

  “I just want to go, if that’s okay. You good to drive?”

  “Yeah, of course. I could do with a coffee stop, though.”

  Juliet nodded, tipping her face up and kissing Mia’s cheek. They stumbled a little, and Mia laughed. “Careful.”

  “I have to thank you,” Juliet said quickly. “You’re better with her than I am.”

  “It’s easier to be a stranger.”

  “She wasn’t always like this,” Juliet said before Mia closed her door and walked around the car.

  “I figured she wasn’t,” Mia said, “but what happened? I mean, is there not any treatment? Or is that the result of medication or something?”

  “I don’t really know the specifics, as in what initially happened. Dad always brushed over the details and focussed on her recovery. It was after Ben died, though, that this happened. There was one time before, years and years before, when we were kids. Dad got injured, and she had this breakdown, I guess. But she got better. This time she didn’t.”

  Mia started the car and pressed at the GPS before reversing out. “She’s been like this since your brother died?”

  Juliet nodded. “They just thought it was shock at first, and then later a type of depression. They gave her ECT for a while, and she would talk a little more, have conversations. But they couldn’t keep doing it forever, and it didn’t seem to work as well the more times they did it.” She rested her head back, examining Mia. “Dad never really visited. They said he did, but he didn’t.”

  “Mmm,” Mia said. “There’s this part of me that gets that, but then this whole other part that says, ‘Hey, it’s your wife, and your career is probably part of what’s causing the issue.’ I mean, did he ever think of retiring, that it might help to even just be around?”