One Step to You

by Federico Moccia

  Step ran away, galloping down the stairs, passing quickly by all those terrible, curious faces, smashing into those flaccid bodies that tried in vain to stop him. He wandered through the city and didn’t return home that evening. He went over to Pollo’s for the night. His friend asked no questions. Luckily, Pollo’s father was away that night.

  Pollo heard Step thrashing in his sleep, suffering even in a dream. But the next morning, Pollo acted as if nothing had happened, even though one of the pillows was drenched with tears. They ate breakfast together, smiles on their faces, talking about this and that, sharing a cigarette. Then Step went to school, and at the chemistry exam, he even managed to snatch a gentleman’s C from the jaws of disaster. But that day, his life changed forever. No one else knew why, but nothing was ever the same after that.

  Something evil had come to roost inside Step. Some filthy beast, some terrible wild animal had built its lair inside his heart, ready to emerge at any moment, ready to strike, the progeny of suffering, the fallout of a love destroyed.

  From then on, life at home became impossible. Silences and fleeting gazes. No more smiles, with the one person he’d loved more than anyone else.

  And then came the trial. The guilty verdict. His own mother had not testified in his defense. His father had shouted at him, denouncing him. His brother had been unable to understand. And no one had ever known a thing, except for the two of them. Hate-filled guardians of that terrible, heavy secret.

  That same year, his parents had separated and Step went to live with Paolo. The first day he moved into that new apartment, he looked out the window of his bedroom. There was nothing but a peaceful meadow. He started putting his things away. He pulled a few sweaters out of his duffel bag and put them away in the back of the armoire on an empty wooden shelf.

  Then he pulled out a sweatshirt. As he pulled it out, the garment tumbled open in his hands. For a moment, it seemed as if his mother was there in the room. He remembered the time he’d let her borrow it, that day they’d gone running together along tree-lined boulevards. How he’d slowed down just to be near her. And now he was in that room, so far away from her, in every sense of the word.

  He clutched the sweatshirt tight in his hands and lifted it to his face. He smelled her perfume, and he started to cry. Then, foolishly, he wondered whether, that day, he ought to have told her that she’d put on too much of it.

  Chapter 16

  The front wheel sank slightly into the deep sand, and the motorcycle swerved rebelliously to one side. With a precisely calculated shove of his feet, Step straightened the bike. The back wheel spun free, kicking up the darker sand behind it, in a rooster tail. Babi held tight to him, scared. The motorcycle swayed a little more, fishtailing.

  Then, having reached the harder sand, everything went back to normal. Step downshifted. Gently, he gave it gas, and the motorcycle broke into a stable, regular cruise along the water’s edge.

  Off to the right, below them, little waves slapped and slowly subsided. They came and they went, the regular breathing of the sea as, deep and dark, it watched them from afar. Babi looked around. The moon, riding high in the sky, lit up the Feniglia shore. The beach stretched out into the distance, between darker patches of the mountains. To their left and above them, the sand dunes, pounded and torn by the day’s strong winds, now slept quietly in the night, covered by a wild blanket of greenery.

  Step turned off the headlights. Shrouded in darkness, they continued to race along like that, on the soft, wet carpet of sand. All around them, the sound of distant trees, the suck of the outgoing waves, the silence of nature at night. When they reached the middle of the Feniglia shore, they stopped. Step picked up a chunk of wood, still wet and ravaged by the waves, and placed it under the motorcycle’s kickstand, sideways, to keep it upright in the sand. Without a word, they found themselves walking along, alone and side by side, enveloped in all that peace.

  Babi walked down to the water’s edge. Tiny waves fringed in silver slapped down, just short of her dark blue All Stars. She walked a little closer. A wave with a little more power than the others just caught the white rubber of her shoes. Babi darted back, escaping the salt water.

  She bumped up against Step. His strong arms wrapped comfortably around her, and she settled into them. Slowly, she turned around. In that nocturnal light, a smile appeared on her face. Her blue eyes, full of love, looked up at him, amused.

  He leaned down and, slowly embracing her, kissed her soft, warm lips, fresh and salty, caressed by the wind off the sea. Step ran a hand through her hair. He pulled it back, uncovering her face. Her cheek, painted with silver like a tiny mirror of that moon high above, and her profile, with the straight line of her nose and her eyes half-shut, listened to his kisses on her neck.

  Now they were sprawled full length on the cold beach, arms wrapped around each other, and their hands, covered with tiny grains of sand, sought each other out. Then another kiss, and yet another, and in the meantime, a smile and a slow descent and a sweet parting, just gently brushing lips.

  Babi sat up, hoisting herself on both her arms. She looked at him where he lay below her. Those eyes, calm now, were staring at her. He seemed to belong to that sand, stretched out there, his arms spread wide, master not only of the beach but of everything.

  Smiling, Step pulled her closer, master of her as well, gathering her into a kiss, this one longer and more powerful. He hugged her tight, breathing in her soft scent. And she let herself go, swept away by that power and, at that moment, realized that she had never really kissed anyone before.

  Now he was sitting behind her, holding her in his arms, letting her rest comfortably between his legs. And he, solid backrest, amiable armchair that he had become, broke into her thoughts every so often with a kiss on the neck. “What are you thinking about?”

  Babi turned to look at him, glancing back out of the corner of her eye. “I just knew you were going to ask me that.”

  She went back to resting her head against his chest. “Do you see that house down there on the rocks?”

  Step looked in the direction her hand was pointing. Before losing himself in the distance, he stopped to consider that tiny forefinger, and it, too, struck him as something stupendous. He smiled. “Yes, I see it.”

  “It’s my dream house! Oh, how I’d love to live in that house. Just think what a view they must have from there. A picture window looking out over the sea. A living room where you could linger in an embrace and watch the sunset.”

  Step hugged her close to him. Babi remained there for a short while longer, gazing dreamily into the distance. He drew closer, resting his cheek against hers. She rubbed against him like a cat. Then, amused and playful, she tried to push him away, smiling up at the moon. She pretended she was trying to slip out of his grasp. But then she returned to him of her own volition and slipped into his kiss, repentant and lovable.

  Slowly, Babi turned toward him. Step took her face in his hands, and she, pale pearl that she was, smiled, the prisoner of that human seashell.

  Step watched her. “Do you want to take a swim?”

  “Are you serious, as cold as it is? Plus, I didn’t bring a swimsuit.”

  “Oh, come on. It’s not really cold. And anyway, what does a little fish like you need a swimsuit for?”

  Babi’s face twisted angrily, and she shoved him hard with both arms, doing her best to knock him back into the sand. But Step resisted. He clenched hard with his abs, strong and compact, and supported his own weight.

  Defeated, Babi got up. She started brushing the sand off her. “By the way, you told Pollo all about the other evening, didn’t you?”

  Step stood up and tried to put his arms around her. “What, are you kidding?”

  “Then how on earth did Pallina know? She must have heard it from Pollo, so you must have told him the whole story.”

  “I swear to you that I never said a word about it. Maybe I could have talked in my sleep—”

  “Talked in your sle
ep? Give me a break! And anyway, like I told you before, I don’t believe it when you swear to something.”

  “Actually, I really do talk in my sleep sometimes, as you’ll soon find out for yourself.” Step went toward the motorcycle, looking back at her with a smile in his eyes.

  “Wait, I’ll soon find out for myself?” she asked. “You’re kidding, right?” Babi hurried over to him, worried now.

  Step laughed. The barb he’d launched had had the desired effect. “Why, aren’t we sleeping together tonight? After all, it’s just a few hours till dawn.”

  Babi looked at her watch, concerned now. “It’s two thirty. Oh heck, if my folks get there before I do, I’m done for. Hurry up, I’ve got to get home.”

  “So you’re not sleeping at my place?”

  “What are you, crazy? Maybe you don’t understand who you’re dealing with here! Plus, have you ever seen a little fish sleeping with someone?”

  Step started the motorcycle and then kept the brake on as he revved the engine. The motorcycle, obedient between his legs, swerved around in a circle and then stopped right in front of her, ready for her slightest command.

  Babi climbed on, and Step put it in first. Gently, they rode away, then faster and faster, leaving behind them a precise strip of broad tire marks. Farther on was a patch of sand churned up by innocent kisses and a tiny heart. She’d drawn it without letting him know, with the tiny forefinger that he liked so well. A treacherous and solitary wave erased the borders of that heart. But with an effort of the imagination, you could still read the S and the B.

  Far away, a dog barked at the moon. Babi, leaning on Step’s shoulders, braced her feet on the pedals and stood up. And so, standing straight against the sky, she breathed deep. A Nordic wind brushed back her hair, caressing her face. Then Babi leaned forward and hugged him, kissing him.

  Step felt those soft lips on his neck. A strange heat surged up inside him. He felt strangely happy. He accelerated. His wheels cut quickly through a salt wave, shattering it, wounding it fatally. Tiny silvery sprays shot off in all directions, surrounding them on all sides. The water fell far away, cutting tiny round holes into the cold sand. A vengeful wave erased that tire track while the motorcycle continued along its way, in love, vanishing into the distance of the night. There was no longer even the slightest trace of that heart carved into the sand. Still, that night would live on forever in their memories.

  Chapter 17

  In front of Vetrine, standing parked in the deserted lot, Babi’s Vespa was the only vehicle that remained. She got off the motorcycle, undid the front wheel lock, and started her scooter. She climbed on and rocked it down off the kickstand. Then it seemed as if she just remembered Step was there.

  “Ciao.” She smiled at him tenderly.

  Step moved closer. “I’ll ride with you. I’ll escort you home.”

  When they reached Corso Francia, Step maneuvered his motorcycle around behind her Vespa and placed his foot on the taillight. He revved his engine and gave her a push. The Vespa sped up.

  Babi turned around, stunned, and looked at him. “This is scary!”

  “Just keep a firm grip on the handlebars…”

  Babi stared straight ahead again, holding tight and determined to the handlebars. Pallina’s Vespa could go faster than hers, but hers would never be able to reach these speeds.

  They covered the length of Corso Francia and then climbed the hill of Via Jacini, all the way to the piazza. Step gave her one last shove, right in front of her apartment building. Then he let her go. Slowly, the Vespa lost speed.

  Babi braked and turned to look at Step. He was stopped now, sitting upright on the motorcycle, just a short distance from her. He sat there, looking at her for a second. Then he smiled at her, put it into first gear, and pulled away.

  She followed him with her gaze until he vanished around the curve. She heard him accelerating, faster and faster, a rapid shift of gears, tailpipes roaring as he sailed away at top speed into the distance.

  Babi waited for a sleepy Fiore to raise the gate arm. Then she rode up the ramp to the apartment building. When she turned in to the curve, she had a grim surprise. Her whole apartment was lit up brightly, and her mother was standing there, looking out her bedroom window.

  “Claudio, there she is!”

  Babi gave her a desperate smile. It didn’t do a bit of good. Her mother slammed the window shut.

  Babi put the Vespa away in the garage, barely managing to fit it between the wall and the Mercedes. As she was pulling down the rolling door, she thought about that morning’s slap in the face. Unconsciously, she lifted her hand to her cheek. She tried to remember how badly it had hurt. She wasn’t all that worried. She figured that she’d know exactly how badly before long.

  She climbed the steps slowly, doing her best to put off as long as possible that discovery, by now inevitable. The apartment door stood open. She walked resignedly onto that gallows. Condemned to be guillotined, by no means hopeful of a reprieve, this latter-day Robespierre in overalls was going to lose her head.

  She shut the door behind her and as soon as she turned around, she caught the slap full in the face. “Ouch.” Always on the same side, she thought to herself, massaging her cheek.

  “Go straight to bed, but first give your Vespa keys to your father.”

  Babi walked down the hallway. Claudio was standing there, by the door.

  Babi gave him Pallina’s key ring.

  “Babi?”

  She turned around, worried now. “What?”

  “Why this P?” her father asked.

  The rubber P on Pallina’s key ring dangled interrogatively from Claudio’s hand. Babi stared at it, stunned for a moment. Then reawakened by the slap in the face, freshly creative in the moment, she improvised. “Oh, come on, Papà, don’t you remember? It’s the nickname you gave me yourself! When I was little you used to call me Princess Savina, from the Smurfs!”

  Claudio swayed hesitantly for a moment but then a smile appeared on his face. “Oh, of course! Princess Savina. I’d almost forgotten.” Then he turned serious again. “Now go to bed. We’ll talk about all this tomorrow. I didn’t like it one bit, Babi!”

  The bedroom doors swung shut. Claudio and Raffaella, somewhat relaxed at last, discussed that rebellious, unrecognizable daughter of theirs, that young woman who had once been so calm and untroubled but who now came home at four in the morning, took part in wheelie competitions, and wound up with her photograph in all the morning papers. They wondered what had become of her…What had happened to the little Princess Savina they once knew?

  In her bedroom nearby, Babi undressed and got into bed. Her reddened cheek found cool soothing on her pillow. She lay there like that, dreaming of reality for a while. She felt as if she could still hear the sound of the waves and the wind caressing her hair, and then she remembered that kiss, so strong and tender at the same time.

  She turned over in bed. She thought of him, and as she was sliding her hands under her pillow, she dreamed she was embracing him. Between the smooth sheets, tiny grains of sand made her smile. And in the darkness of her bedroom, the answer her parents had been searching for so frantically slowly unfolded. What had become of her was really quite simple. Babi had fallen in love.

  Chapter 18

  That morning found Babi, oddly enough, wide awake even before the alarm clock went off. She rolled up the blinds, dancing to the beat of the dance music blaring from the radio. The sunshine aggressively invaded the room.

  Babi took off her pajama top and turned up the volume. She looked at herself in the mirror. She smiled, making a funny face at her own cheerful features. Then she realized that the young man who lived across the way had just stepped out onto the terrace. She hid in the far corner of the room. Her pajama bottoms flew onto the bed while her bra and panties vanished from the chair and reappeared on her body. She adjusted the shoulder straps, running her thumbs playfully up and down as if they were a pair of suspenders, and all that enthu
siasm even hurt her a little bit.

  She finished dressing to a tune from the radio. Elton John suited her perfectly. She put on her blouse, writhing and rocking inside it as she did. She did up all the buttons, bobbing her head. Like a daring young toreador with long blond hair, she whipped her skirt off the chair and wrapped that dark blue cape around her hips, with a simple “Olé.”

  The young man from across the way was staring at her window. They looked right at each other for a second. She smiled at him, welcoming the attention. She opened the door of her closet so it covered the window, concealing her. Amused, she put on her shoes. The young man was perplexed as he found himself looking at that poster. Some huge guy was pulling a wheelie, and behind him, for all he could tell, was the same young woman who lived there. When Babi shut the door, the guy was gone. So much the better. It wasn’t a great idea to bother her. In case he hadn’t received the memo, she was taken already. Or was she?

  She turned to look at the photograph. She looked at Step. What a shameless smart-ass, to judge from that face. As for that smile, it didn’t offer any certainty to anyone. Maybe she still was unattached after all. That thought tormented her throughout breakfast. Worse than Daniela’s questions, than her mother’s scolding, even worse than the completely unwanted words her father came out with.

  “I’d never have expected this from you…Princess Savina.”

  Daniela looked at Claudio, stunned. “Princess Savina? Since when do you call her that?”

  “I always have. Since the day she was born. It’s the nickname I gave her.”

  Babi watched her father leave the room, so confident, so untroubled by that tiny lie. And for her, it was the only laugh she enjoyed that morning.

  In the car on her way to school, she turned around continually, hoping to spot Step. But she never saw him. Just kids on motorcycles with similar-looking jackets and haircuts. Each time she saw one, her heart raced.