Unidentified Flying Suspect (Illegal Alien Book 2)

by Carrie Harris

  “I know people in the police department,” she said finally.

  “That doesn’t exactly set me at ease.”

  And it didn’t. I already felt plenty suspicious of just about everyone. Now I’d be wondering if they were informing on me every time I talked to Scorsone or Hardwicke. Or maybe the leak went even higher. I still didn’t trust Commissioner Gordon any higher than I could throw her. Although with all my working out, I might have been able to throw her further than I thought, it still wasn’t very far.

  “Not your friends. Administration, mostly. I asked them about you after the pyrex. That’s all.”

  I frowned. “There you go about glassware again. As soon as I start to think you might say something valuable, you start spouting off nonsense. Either you explain, or I leave. I don’t have the time to waste right now.”

  “No, you don’t.” She seemed to consider for a moment. “Very well. Will you sit?”

  “No thanks.” I folded my arms and stared down at her.

  She sighed. “The alien you killed last summer is called a pyrex. That’s its species name. It has nothing to do with glassware. Pyrex are filthy scavengers. If left alone to repair its spacecraft, it would have returned with hundreds more, and the results would not have been pretty.”

  “Scavengers? What the hell do they want here? We don’t exactly have an abundance of spacecraft or alien artifacts in Toledo.”

  Even as I said it, my mind raced. The pyrex had been collecting Sankanium, and I’d always assumed that all of the pieces had come from the ship. But what if they hadn’t? What if there was more Sankanium here somehow? If it really was valuable, that would explain a lot. The theory had holes the size of Kansas in it, but at least I finally had a theory.

  She shrugged. “You provided a great service to your people, whether they know it or not.”

  “And what does that have to do with fuckwits and dead people in the ground? We found some dead sewer workers. Is that what you meant?” I demanded. “Why did it kill them and not me?”

  She stared at me mutely, and I wanted to shake the answers out of her. Clearly, she wanted something, or she wouldn’t be following me around all the time. But it was just as obvious that she didn’t trust me as far as she could throw me either, and although I couldn’t see much of her figure in all that cloth, she probably couldn’t throw as far as I could.

  Before I could start shaking her (like I wanted) or reasoning with her (like I should have), Dumbass started barking his fool head off and tearing at the leash like he’d just spotted a particularly hot poodle that he wanted to get to know better. Sighing in annoyance, I turned to reel him in, but when I saw what he was barking at, it brought me up short.

  Definitely not a poodle.

  CHAPTER 30

  I couldn’t believe my eyes. I’d heard people say that before and usually thought they were exaggerating, but I really meant it this time. Agent Morgenstern and his yahoos stomped toward us from somewhere off in the trees, like they had a secret hideout somewhere off in the Metropark and had just come from a meeting where they took a vote on who they wanted to tase next. I rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn’t seeing things, but they failed to disappear. Oh, goodie. Because I had a few things I wanted to say to them.

  Dumbass kept barking as they got closer, and I murmured the order to guard. He instantly sank down on his haunches, mouth open and eager to do something. Barking, biting, either would suffice. As poorly restrained as his libido was, he made for a terrific guard dog. Probably could have made it as a K-9 officer if it weren’t for all the slobber and humping.

  The agents drew closer, and there was no denying now that they were walking right toward us rather than just coincidentally crossing our paths. My hands began to clench on their own accord, itching to take a swing at them as they got close, but I restrained myself for now. Depending on what they had to say for themselves, though, I figured I just might give into the urge and damn the consequences. They’d managed to piss me off on a level that few people had achieved. It was a dubious accomplishment to say the least.

  “You’ve got a lot of nerve,” I began as they got close enough to hear.

  But they didn’t slow down. Morgenstern held up a hand in my direction. It was a wait-a-minute hand. An I’ll-deal-with-you-later hand. Once it came within reach, I smacked it out of the air.

  That got their attention. I found myself on the receiving end of a bunch of Ivy League, mirrored-sunglassed, G-man stares. They looked about as intimidating as your average armed frat boys. If I had to place a bet between them and Aunt Rose in a cage match, I’d bet on the elderly woman. These guys were used to shoving people around, and I was willing to bet they had no idea what to do when their intended victim shoved back. They had numbers but weren’t using them adequately. Instead of spreading out to flank me and forcing me to defend in multiple directions, they stood together like they were awaiting their close up. With tactics like that, I began to wonder if these guys really were government agents at all. I knew beat cops with a better grasp of positioning than they had. Lots of them.

  “Step aside, Detective Vorkink,” said the left-hand yahoo, stepping towards me.

  “This doesn’t concern you,” added the right-hand yahoo.

  Morgenstern kept on moving while the yahoos attempted to intercept me. He stopped just in front of Tsishe, who sat there calmly on her park bench, her cloth-covered hands folded on her cloth-covered lap. It made me think of when I’d poked myself on her armor-covered wrist earlier. Maybe she’d leap out of her religious garb and turn out to be a Transformer. She was certainly more than met the eye.

  “We’d like to take you in for questioning,” he said. “Come along quietly and no one will be hurt.”

  Instead of answering, she looked at me. Maybe her lashless eyes were frightened. All the clothing obscured the rest of the facial cues that would have told me for sure, but I thought she looked afraid and beseeched me for help. Or maybe it was wishful thinking on my part. After the tasing, I was looking for any excuse to engage.

  Before I could do it, though, my eyes were drawn to a strangely familiar gangly figure making its way toward us from across the field. It took me a moment to place him outside of his orange jumpsuit, but then he shouted.

  “Hey, police lady!” he said.

  It was Rickroll.

  Under different circumstances, I would have intercepted him partway across the field to keep him out of danger, but I was afraid to turn my back on Tsishe for even a moment lest the agents try to drag her away. So I shouted back at him instead.

  “Hey, Rickroll. Aren’t you working today?”

  “It’s my day off. I like to watch the dogs. Is this your dog? He sure is big.”

  When he wasn’t afraid of monsters, Rickroll was quite animated. I couldn’t get a word in edgewise. He went to his knees next to Dumbass, whose tail swished happily as Rickroll scratched behind his ears and chattered at him.

  Everyone else seemed as taken aback by the boy’s appearance as I was. I decided to take advantage of it and try and smooth things over. Not that I planned to invite the agents to join my knitting club, but maybe we could have an entire conversation without anyone getting tased or punched in the mouth. Maybe I could learn something useful. It seemed a long shot, but I had to try.

  “Look,” I said reasonably, “maybe it’s time for us to clear the air. Perhaps we just got off on the wrong foot.” One of the agents snorted derisively. “You know, after you tased me and tried to strong arm my samples out of my own lab.”

  So much for diplomacy. I’d started off so well. But those haughty attitudes of theirs rubbed me the wrong way.

  “Step aside, Vorkink, or we’ll move you,” said Morgenstern. “This doesn’t concern you.”

  I would have delivered a stinging retort, but Rickroll got their first. He launched to his considerable reedy height and said, “Hey! That’s not nice!”

  Morgenstern blinked.

  “That’s not a nice
thing to say. You have to apologize,” Rickroll persisted.

  “Get out of the way, kid. This doesn’t concern you.”

  Morgenstern shoved him. Hard. Rickroll wasn’t the most coordinated guy in the history of the world, and he went flying, elbows and legs akimbo. He hit the ground hard, letting out a yelp of pain.

  I didn’t even stop to think. My body was already moving when I shouted, “Sic ‘em, Dumbass!” One of the yahoos moved to intercept me as I lunged toward Morgenstern with furious determination. I reacted instinctively, stepping inside the yahoo’s guard and cold cocking him right in the face. His face went from surprised to comic slackness in an instant, and he reeled back, falling to the ground. The other yahoo didn’t waste any time in stepping forward, hand reaching into his pocket. I wasn’t sure if it would come out with a Taser or a pistol, and I didn’t intend to find out.

  But their efforts to protect their superior were in vain. At my shout, the mastiff at my feet had gone from perky eared alertness to carnivorous, slavering beast in about 1.2 seconds. He leapt at Morgenstern with teeth bared, searching for something to bite. Morgenstern batted him away, which was an exercise in futility. The dog worried at his sleeve, sharp teeth almost certainly drawing blood, until Morgenstern managed to shake him loose. Fabric tore with an audible ripping noise. The yahoo left standing decided that discretion was the better part of valor. He removed an empty hand from his pocket and instead of confronting the lady with the killer dog, he grabbed the dazed yahoo and dragged him back out of range. Dumbass barked and bared his teeth, driving them back.

  They were lucky I’d ordered him to sic rather than to kill. Dumbass would drive them back but not actually go for the throat unless I changed the order. Of course, they didn’t know that. I’d always thought the arrangement would come in handy, but this was the first time I’d gotten to try it.

  I spared a glance down at Rickroll, who I could hear singing his favorite song in a small, frightened voice. To my surprise, I saw Tsishe there, crouched at his side and whispering to him. I couldn’t hear what she was saying and didn’t have the time to look into it, but I was glad to see her helping. I could turn my attention to the agents without having to worry about leaving him unattended.

  “Hey! Vorkink!” yelled Morgenstern, working up his courage. “Call your dog off.”

  “Hell no! What kind of stupid do you think I am?”

  He pointed at me. By the look on his face, he was preparing to deliver some kind of threat. I was willing to bet it would be something along the lines of, “Do what I tell you, or you’ll regret it.” But he never got the words out. Dumbass took one look at that hand and decided it was an easy target. He leapt into the air, all 100-some pounds of him, and snapped at the hand. Morgenstern snatched it back just in time, and the yahoo that was still conscious bolted.

  That was a mistake. To a dog like Dumbass, only prey fled like that. He broke out into another wave of excited barking, which was joined by a couple of other dogs, newly arrived to the park and just about to enter the gate. Their owner tried to restrain them, but they were large retrievers, and she was a tiny little thing. They slipped their leads. Morgenstern fled, dragging the dazed yahoo along with him. Dumbass and his two new buddies gave delighted chase, barking and snapping at their tails, until the agents disappeared back into the woods from whence they came.

  “You guys okay?” I asked, glancing down at Tsishe and Rickroll. I wanted to keep a firm lookout just in case the agents circled back around. I didn’t think Dumbass would allow them anywhere near us again, but I didn’t want to risk it.

  “They’re monsters too,” he said, clenching his fists. “They are. Monsters are real.”

  “You’re right,” I said, and it felt momentous. I’d just meant to reassure the kid, but after all this time doubting what I’d seen and known to be true, just saying out loud that these creatures were real felt like a huge breakthrough. Maybe they weren’t “monsters” per se, but if I could believe Rickroll, then I had to start believing myself too.

  “It’s okay,” I continued. “I’m going to catch them, Rickroll. That’s my job.”

  “You’re never gonna let me down,” he declared. “I know.”

  “That’s right. Let’s get you off the ground. Tsishe, can you help?”

  She nodded, and we each took one of his hands and hauled him to his feet. He’d skinned an elbow and ripped a small hole in his shirt, but otherwise he seemed to be okay. As we finished our examination, Dumbass came trotting back with what I swore was a grin on his canine face. I gave him a good ear scratch and smothered him in compliments.

  “Such a good boy,” I cooed. “Good boy.”

  “We should go,” declared Tsishe. “Before they come back.”

  “What fun is that?” I replied, high on triumph. But then I actually stopped to think about it and sighed. “Of course you’re right. My car’s at my aunt’s house. Can I give you a ride? Both of you?”

  “My house is right over there.” Rickroll pointed.

  “Let us take you home,” I said, and he didn’t argue. When we got to the front porch, I said, “Now, if you see those guys again, you run. Run away from them, and then call me. Here’s my number.” I handed him my card. “Or if you see any more monsters.”

  “Okay.” He gave me a shy grin and then, before I could do anything about it, he hugged me. It felt like one of Greg’s hugs used to feel, the kind of full body, completely trusting hug that young children give. Even a hug-hater like me couldn’t turn that one down.

  After we saw him safely home, Tsishe and I headed toward Aunt Rose’s house with the dog in tow. He was still grinning in mischievous canine delight. So was I, to be completely honest.

  CHAPTER 31

  After a very brief detour to drop off the dog, I got into my car with Tsishe. As soon as we pulled away from the curb, she visibly relaxed. Not completely, though. She still kept looking over her shoulder like she thought we might be followed. I glanced in the rear view mirror a few times but didn’t see a tail. Even so, I had to admit that discretion was the better part of valor. As much as I doubted that Morgenstern and his yahoos could recover that quickly, it wasn’t impossible. I didn’t want to get too egotistical and underestimate them, especially after what they’d done to me in the lab. They might be chumps, but that didn’t mean they weren’t dangerous chumps.

  “If anyone’s following us, I’ll slip them,” I said.

  “That would make my mind easier,” she admitted.

  I began to weave my way through Aunt Rose’s neighborhood. The short blocks gave me plenty of options to choose from, and I hopped over one major street and into another neighborhood and wound my way through that one for good measure. By the time I emerged onto the next main thoroughfare, we’d seen more of Toledo’s historic housing than I had in all my years living here. Most of it was badly in need of repair, but still beautiful nonetheless.

  “Better?” I asked her, pulling out onto one of the main roads and trying to lose myself in traffic as well as I could in a red convertible.

  She let out a breath I hadn’t been aware she was holding. “Yes, thank you.”

  “Have those guys been giving you trouble?”

  “Not me.” She shook her head. “They take one of my coworkers in for questioning, and I do not see him since.”

  “Have you reported it?”

  “To who? The Men in Black don’t exist on any records. No one will believe me. I could tell you, I suppose, but what do you do about it? They break into the police department offices, and no one can do anything.”

  “So they’re Men in Black? How do you know all this shit?” I hissed. “Seriously. If what happened back there hasn’t proven that I’m trustworthy, what will?”

  Her gloved hands worried at each other while she thought. I didn’t interrupt, although I felt about as impatient as I’d ever gotten. I wanted to shake the information out of her, but that wouldn’t work. I’d seen people try it before, and as interrogation
techniques went, it wasn’t particularly effective.

  “Okay,” she said quietly. “I am member of the Conciliation. We keep the peace throughout the galaxy. The Conciliation has informant high in the police department. Administration. But I don’t know who it is. They only talk with my coworker.”

  “The one that’s now missing?”

  Fabric rustled as she nodded. “Yes. Now I am worried. The Men in Black are dangerous.”

  “They must have a weakness,” I said. “Other than a fear of angry dogs.”

  She let out a little amused huff.

  “Okay, so what does keeping the peace have to do with aliens? Why don’t the Men in Black like you?”

  “That’s…a long story. The universe is full of fighting. My job is to watch for problems and stop them. Alien problems, Men in Black problems, those kind of things.”

  “Hence the informant in the police. I see.”

  And I did up to a point. Tsishe had a knack for showing up at the right place and the right time. Now I understood how she did it, but I didn’t quite get why. I’d never heard of anything called the Conciliation, and who in the heck created an organization to watch for alien activity in the first place, no matter what it was called?

  “So why approach me in the gym?”

  “You killed the pyrex. And you are still at your job after it happened, not in hospital somewhere drooling. When the fu’uwit comes, I think maybe you can help.”

  “So the fuckwits are aliens too?” I almost laughed. “You’re kidding me.”

  “Fu’uwit.” She tried to enunciate, but the combination of accent and lisp really made it hard to pick out until she pulled paper and pen out of a pocket and scribbled it down. “It is the alien in the tunnels. You would call it a species, I think.”

  “Now we’re getting somewhere. What does it want? Where is it hiding? How do I defeat it?”