My Neighbor's Husband

by Cassandra Dee

  “Thanks Margot, you’re a life saver.”

  Carefully, I kneel in front of the little girl and mime tossing the water balloon to her, although I’m basically handing it off straight into her small palm.

  “I caught it! I caught it!” she squeals. “Mommy, did you see?”

  Jane grins at me again while Jilly and I “toss” the balloon between ourselves. She’s so cute and I don’t mind at all. I’ve always seen myself as someone kid-positive and family-friendly, destined for a large brood with five to six children. Of course, I don’t even have a boyfriend right now, so I’m not sure how that’s going to come true.

  Regardless, the little girl and I play for about ten minutes before she gets distracted by a bouncy house my neighbors just finished inflating, and rushes off to throw herself in with the other kids.

  “Thanks Margot,” Jane says to be apologetically again. “You’re a lifesaver. Kids can be such a pain. Don’t ever get a kid of your own,” she jests.

  I merely shrug and laugh.

  “I don’t know. Jilly’s pretty cute. I wouldn’t mind having one just like her.”

  Jane rolls her eyes.

  “Please girlfriend. Jilly looks cute with her blonde curls and energetic ways, but wait until she’s in the middle of a tantrum. The sobs and screams will keep you up all night, I swear. Speaking of which, if you want to borrow her, be my guest. We’re always looking for babysitters on Friday nights.”

  I laugh because I’ve babysat for Jane and her husband Henry multiple times. They’re a young couple and deserve a date night every once in a while, so why not? I just head over after I’m done with my job and spend a few hours with Jilly. It’s fun, and no skin off my nose.

  “You know me,” I say with a smile. “I always love watching Jilly. By the way, are you expecting again?” I ask, eyeing Jane’s stomach.

  She goes red, and then her hand cradles her tummy in a way that tells me the answer by itself.

  “Yes,” she says. “We just passed the three month mark, so the baby will be here in about six months. Henry and I are so excited because we have a feeling it’s going to be a boy!”

  I smile, nodding my head.

  “Congrats!”

  Jane grins right back.

  “How about you?” she asks. “How are you Margot? Are you still seeing that guy … what was his name? Tucker or something?”

  I wrinkle my nose.

  “His name is Booker,” I say.

  “Oh right!” exclaims Jane. “Like Booker T. Washington.”

  “Like Booker T. Washington,” I agree, “except Booker T. Washington was a man of honor, an activist, and an educator. Meanwhile, the Booker I dated was a lazy asshole who lives with his parents still, and tried to get me to pay for dates. It was crazy. I stopped dating him two weeks ago.”

  Jane is flummoxed and unsure what to say.

  “Oh I’m sorry,” she mumbles. But then her face brightens. “Well, onwards and upwards! Oh my gosh, there’s that really handsome new neighbor who just moved in. What’s his name again?”

  I look over and immediately, my eyes see the towering figure of Dane Jones. Wow, he looks especially yummy right now in a blue polo shirt and shorts. Tattoos circle his forearms, which only make me want him more.

  “Um, I think his name is Dane,” I stammer, pretending like I don’t remember. “Or at least that’s what I heard.”

  “Dane, schmane,” Jane says in a lively voice, still eating up our new neighbor with his eyes. “By the way, did you hear that he and his wife got a divorce? Yep, I saw her silver Beamer pull out of the driveway a few days ago with a U-Haul in back, and it doesn’t seem like she’s coming back. I think they’re done.”

  This time, I gape at her.

  “Are you serious? But they just moved here!”

  Jane shrugs.

  “What does that have to do with anything? Maybe she just needed a place to stay until the divorce was finalized. Now that things are done and they’ve signed on the dotted line, I guess she’s gone. Never met her. She could be nice, for all I know, or a total bitch.”

  Again, I’m at a loss for words. I just spied on Dane making love to his wife last week! How can they be divorced now?

  But I guess you can never really understand someone else’s marriage because even though I know what I saw, I suppose it doesn’t represent the true state of affairs. Maybe that was a last, good-bye fuck? Hell, I have no idea.

  Suddenly, I stand up ramrod straight because Dane is approaching us with long, loping strides. He’s got a plate of food in one hand and a devilish gleam in his eyes.

  “Oh my god, he’s coming over,” hisses Jane. “Pretend like you know nothing. Hi Dane!” she calls. “How are you?”

  The gorgeous man stops in front of us, casting me in his enormous shadow. Oh my god, he’s even better looking up close, with his chiseled features, perfectly sculpted lips, and tan, taut physique. My eyes slip down on their own, and sure enough, that huge snake is there, bulging under the fabric. Suddenly, my eye catches on something right at his knee, and I gasp. There’s a dark something there, and suddenly, I realize what it is. It’s his tip. He’s so long that his glans is literally hanging down below the hem of his shorts … and I like what I see.

  4

  Dane

  I know what my curvy neighbor is looking at. It’s totally obvious given the shocked look in her eyes, not to mention the flushed cheeks and heaving bosom.

  After all, I knew what I was doing when I got dressed for this party. Usually, I wear boxer briefs. They’re cotton, tight but not too tight, and most importantly, they keep me contained. Regular boxer shorts will never do because frankly, I’m just too big and long down there. I’d be swinging around like a madman if I restricted myself to boxers.

  But today, I knew that the gorgeous Margot would be at the block party, so I decided to go with boxers. Why not? I know how to manage myself. If I stand a certain way, I’m able to keep myself completely hidden. But if I stand a different way, then the tip will show right below the hem of my shorts. And right now, the tip’s showing and making my gorgeous neighbor gasp.

  “Um, hi,” she says, barely able to meet my eyes. “I’m Margot.”

  “I know,” I say smoothly, holding my hand out for a shake. “Mrs. Caldwell’s told me about you. I’m Dane Jones.”

  “Mrs. Caldwell?” she stammers, referring to our local neighborhood gossip. “But I barely even talk to her!”

  I wink.

  “Mrs. Caldwell gave me the lowdown on everybody who lives in our hood,” I say. “Don’t worry, she didn’t say anything bad though. In fact, she sung the praises of most people who live here.”

  At that moment, the redhead standing beside Margot decides to butt in.

  “Hi, I’m Jane Leacham,” she says, sticking her hand out. “I’m married to Henry, and we live just down the street from you with our four year old daughter. You’ve probably seen me calling to her. Her name is Jilly.”

  Ah yes, I’ve seen Jane and Jilly many times actually. Jilly is a cute toddler with blonde curls and a mischievous attitude. I often see Jane chasing Jilly down the street, screaming for her daughter not to wander in front of any cars. Kids.

  “Yes, nice to meet you,” I say courteously, giving nothing away. “I think I’ve spoken with Henry a few times. He works at the community center right?”

  Jane nods.

  “Yes, Henry does IT for the community center, as well as for a couple of other outfits around the city, like the post office and the fire station. He’s good with technology,” she says proudly.

  “Great,” I remark with a smile. Meanwhile, I can tell that Margot is trying not to stare at my protruding tip, and yet can’t help but look every now and then. It’s sticking out of my left pant leg so that only she can see, and not anyone else. I jiggle my left thigh a little, making it bounce up and down a bit, and Margot gasps, her cheeks going beet red.

  I laugh to myself. Dang, I haven’t been in the
company of a pretty girl in so long. Or maybe I have, except I was so emotionally numb that I couldn’t do anything about it. Being married to Amelia for over ten years will do that to a man, and now it feels like I’m free and able to breathe deep for the first time in a long time. This is sheer heaven.

  “So tell me about yourself,” I ask Margot, subtly jiggling my leg again. “What do you do?”

  She gasps, practically staring at my glans before forcing her eyes back up at me.

  “Um, I work as a nail tech,” she says. “At Pretty Pink Nail Salon in the downtown area.”

  I nod.

  “That sounds interesting,” is my casual reply. “What do you do as a nail tech?”

  Jane interrupts then.

  “Manis and pedis of course!” she chortles. “What did you think? Except my buddy Margot is really good at what she does, and very artistic too. If you’re looking for nails that Cardi B or Lil’ Kim might be proud of, then Margot is your girl.”

  I laugh.

  “Sorry, I have no idea who those people are. Cardi B, did you say?”

  “Yeah!” chuckles Jane. “She has a hit called Bodak Yellow. She’s a famous rapper with nails that go out to here,” she says, holding her hand about two inches out from her palm. “And Margot is so good at nails that she can replicate any Cardi B style. If you want rainbow swirls, glitter or a little charm that hangs off your nails, then Margot can do it.”

  I look over at the curvy girl.

  “Is that so?”

  She blushes from the compliments.

  “Well, yes, I know my craft pretty well,” she mumbles. “But I’ve had a lot of practice.”

  “You should get your nails done at Pretty Pink someday,” gushes Jane. “You know, even guys get their nails done sometimes. I’ve sent Henry over there just because his nails can get so grungy and gross from handling tools everyday. Of course, he doesn’t get the extras. For my husband, it’s just making sure they’re square, neat, and trimmed, but it’s still a luxury.”

  At that, both Margot and I laugh.

  “Okay, I’ll think about it,” I say. “It’s called Pretty Pink Nail Salon?”

  Margot nods.

  “Yeah, I work every day except Tuesdays,” she says. “I’m pretty much there the whole day, so you won’t miss me.”

  I wink at her while jiggling my leg a little more to make sure she can see my tip bobbling up and down on my knee.

  “Well then, I’ll definitely have to go some time,” I growl. “Anyways, I just finished my burger, so I’m going back to the grill for another one. Can I get you girls something?”

  Jane shakes her head while waving merrily, while Margot manages a smile before her eyes flit to my dick tip again. Then her eyes flutter back up to mine, and dare I say it? There’s a dreamy look in her eyes and I know I’ve already caught my catch of the day.

  5

  Margot

  Wow, the block party was exhausting. I let myself into my house and step into the kitchen. Buster’s there, but he’s snoozing on the floor in a pile with his mouth open and a puddle of drool on the floor. Eeew, gross. Well, I’m glad he’s out at least. Having to deal with a bouncing, energetic dog would wear me out right about now.

  After all, what happened during that party? The whole thing passed in a daze and I feel like I’ve been walking around in a dream. Or maybe I have sunstroke and just imagined it all, but I don’t think so. Dane Jones was definitely there, and I noticed two things about him right away: one, he didn’t have a wedding band on; two, he came alone without his wife; and three, his dicktip kept protruding from his shorts! Oh my gosh!

  It seems crazy, and I did a double take at first. After all, Dane’s shorts weren’t short shorts or anything like that. If anything, the blue fabric came down almost to his knee, and looked like a regular pair of Docker shorts that dads wear.

  But when my eyes caught a glimpse of something deep purple bouncing around his knee, I zoomed in for a closer look and then my heartrate practically stopped. I wasn’t hallucinating. That was his glans protruding from the fabric, swinging around because he’s that thick and long. I could hardly believe it and my eyes flew up to his. Did he know this was happening?

  But of course, Dane knew. He met my eyes straight on and then winked a bit while jiggling his leg some more. Of course, that made his tip bounce up and down and my mouth went dry as my eyes bulged. Oh my gosh, was this man teasing me? Was he playing with me by jiggling his anatomy to show me how massive he is?

  The rest of the conversation passed in a blur. I have no idea what was said, or what kind of impression I made. I probably came off as a dunce, come to think about it. But Dane merely grinned at me again before heading off to replenish his food, as I stood there gawking like a teenage girl.

  “Oh my gosh, he’s so cute!” Jane squealed once Dane was out of earshot. Cute is one way to put it. Had she seen what I’d seen? Evidently not because Dane had angled his body so that only I could see his left side and the giant purple glans poking out from beneath his clothes. Jane was on his right side, and we were all quite a ways from the party, so no one could see except for me.

  “Um yes, very good-looking,” I mumbled while staring down at my drink.

  “He’s single now,” Jane sang, winking at me suggestively. “You should totally hit it.”

  I was honestly too shocked to come up with any kind of reasonable reply.

  “Um, yeah,” I mumble.

  Jane shrieks with joy.

  “Are you serious? Yeah, do it,” she says while practically rubbing her palms together with glee. “Oh my gosh, he’s sooo hot.”

  At that point, I get myself together somewhat.

  “Yeah, but if he just got divorced like you say, then he’s probably only been divorced for what? Three days?”

  Jane shrugs.

  “Hey, divorced is divorced. Just like you can’t really understand anyone else’s marriage, you can’t really understand anyone else’s divorce either. So hit the big one, girlie. You know, guys like that don’t stay single long. Girls claw and bite each other to get a piece of man like Dane Jones, and Margot, you have got to make use of this opportunity,” she said. “Go get him!”

  “Yeah, but what should I do?” I ask plaintively. “Show up at his house with a box of brownies unannounced? Pretend that I need help changing a lightbulb in my living room?”

  Jane shrugged.

  “Who knows? Does it even matter? All of those things sound good actually. Why don’t you ask to borrow a cup of sugar from him?”

  I snorted with laughter.

  “You know, you are just too funny,” I said, rolling my eyes.

  Jane throws me a devilish look.

  “Better yet, say you want to share a cup of sugar,” she intimated. “I bet that’ll be fun.”

  I snorted again with laughter and we went back to talking about this and that. All in all, I spent a couple hours laughing and chatting with my neighbors at the block party before heading home. Now, as the door closes, I realize I’m exhausted. Twilight is turning into dark, and I shuck off my shoes before heading to the fridge to grab a beer. Of course, I’ve already had some adult drinks at the party, but another one isn’t going to kill me.

  I’ve just settled onto my couch and booted up my laptop for another Netflix binge, when suddenly, there’s a loud rap on my front door. What in the world? Who could it be? It’s too late at night for Amazon deliveries, and I don’t usually get guests.

  Heaving myself off the couch, I jam my feet into my fuzzy slippers and schlep over to the door.

  “Hold on, hold on,” I say, struggling with the lock that always catches. “Let me just get this –”

  But as the door swings open, my breath catches and my eyes go wide. It’s my gorgeous neighbor and he looks yummier than ever with the harsh planes of his face highlighted by shadow, and the broad width of his shoulders reaching from one end of my porch to another.

  “Um, hi,” I stammer. “Dane, right?”<
br />
  He grins. My neighbor knows that I know perfectly well what his name is.

  “That’s right. I think you left something at my place,” he says casually while holding a piece of cloth up. I squint in the darkness and then realize what it is. It’s the handkerchief that Buster wears around his neck. It’s undeniably Buster’s with its bright yellow color and big monogrammed “B” in the center.

  “Um, thanks,” I say flushing. “I left it at the block party, right?”

  The words sound weird as they come out of my mouth because I know Buster didn’t go to the block party. He was right here, snoozing away in my kitchen the whole time, so how did that handkerchief come loose?

  But then Dane grins again.

  “No, Margot, I found it in my backyard. Now care to discuss how it got there?”

  My cheeks flush hotly all over again and my breasts heave as I stammer. Oh no. It’s time to pay the Pied Piper because he’s here on my doorstep.

  6

  Dane

  The girl is gorgeous as she stands in the doorframe, stammering.

  “Um weird. I wonder how it got into your backyard,” she says as a blush covers her cheeks.

  My eyebrow quirks.

  “Want to invite me in so we can talk about it?”

  For a moment, I’m afraid Margot is going to say no. After all, it’s dark now and I’m a huge, muscular man whom she doesn’t really know. We only met formally this afternoon, so I can understand why she doesn’t want to let me into her house.

  But after biting her lip, she nods.

  “Come on in,” she says, stepping back to let me into her kitchen. “Make yourself comfortable. Can I get you a drink?”

  I step in and the curvy girl closes the front door behind me. Suddenly, a golden retriever whizzes like a streak of lightning through the kitchen before jumping on me excitedly. His tail is wagging up a mile and his doggy face smiles with pure joy.

  “Hey boy,” I say while petting his head. “It’s nice to meet you.”