Ready for Marriage?

by Beverly Barton; Ann Major Anne Marie Winston

  ‘‘Thank goodness.’’ As she knelt, he took her hands and held on tightly. ‘‘There was a storm, my darling. We hit a wall.’’

  ‘‘Were you hurt?’’ Miguelito’s troubled black eyes were huge.

  She shook her head and drew him closer.

  ‘‘She was with me. She was fine,’’ Cash said.

  Vivian wrapped her child in her arms and hugged him fiercely. Moments later a gate slammed, and Julio strode into the carport.

  ‘‘Miguelito! There you are. You’re not supposed to run off without telling Papacito, where—’’

  ‘‘He’s with me,’’ Vivian said.

  ‘‘Vivi!’’ Then Julio saw Cash. ‘‘I see,’’ he murmured, his voice thick with insolence and innuendo.

  Vivian lowered her eyes. ‘‘Not in front of Miguelito.’’

  ‘‘Isabela went crazy last night,’’ Julio said.

  Vivian said nothing.

  ‘‘I was worried sick about you, too,’’ Julio persisted.

  ‘‘As you see—I’m fine.’’

  ‘‘Julio?’’ Tammy yelled from the other side of the wall.

  ‘‘In the carport, querida!’’ Julio responded.

  ‘‘We were in an accident,’’ Cash said matter-of-factly. ‘‘The phones were out. We got back as soon as we could. Period.’’

  She could feel the heat of Julio’s eyes burning her face. She had to get Miguelito away before Julio erupted.

  Tammy ran into the carport in a minuscule black bikini, water dripping down her long, golden legs.

  ‘‘Take Miguelito back to the pool,’’ Julio said.

  ‘‘Thank you,’’ Vivian said, as Tammy took the child and led him away.

  ‘‘You come here to see my sister, Mr. Cash McRay, but you stay out all night with my wife.’’

  Cash’s mouth thinned. ‘‘She divorced you, remember?’’

  ‘‘Isabela is my sister. Vivi is the mother of my son. Vivi’s vulnerable. She’s family.’’

  Vivian winced at Julio’s high-handedness.

  ‘‘She’s all those things…and more,’’ Cash said.

  ‘‘I don’t want you using her and hurting her. You’re rich and famous. You overpower her better judgment.’’

  ‘‘Give her a little credit,’’ Cash said.

  ‘‘Stop it. I won’t have you discussing me like this!’’

  To her surprise they obeyed her. When she was sure the conversation was over, she left them to check on Miguelito.

  Miguelito beamed happily when he saw her, and she smiled too.

  ‘‘Watch me dive,’’ he said.

  ‘‘Don’t run—’’

  Of course, he forgot and ran, and she had to tell him again.

  A few minutes later Cash stopped by the pool. His eyes were dark and his mouth still grim as he sat down in one of the heavy teak chairs beside her.

  ‘‘Can we go somewhere and talk?’’ he said.

  Her eyes on Miguelito, she leaned forward. He ran onto the diving board and began to jump up and down before he got to the end. He was so excited he wasn’t concentrating on what he was doing.

  ‘‘Watch me,’’ he screamed as he leaned over the water, arms out in front, fingers pointed.

  ‘‘I had a wonderful time with you,’’ Cash said. ‘‘No matter what kind of woman you think I want, you are special—at least to me.’’

  So are you. Cash’s face was so classically chiseled it might have been one of the Mayan gods. Her stomach tightened, and she turned, squinting against the glare.

  ‘‘Please—just leave me alone. I have a little boy…a little life.’’

  ‘‘I have no life without you.’’

  ‘‘You got laid. You’re wealthy and attractive. You can have any girl. So big deal.’’

  ‘‘You’re not watching me!’’ Miguelito yelled, bouncing higher than he ever had before.

  ‘‘Just go,’’ she continued. ‘‘I’ll tell Isabela that I seduced you. That it wasn’t your fault. I’ll let you off easy.’’

  ‘‘Do you ever listen? You’re the first real thing that’s happened to me in a long time,’’ he said. ‘‘I think I’m falling in love with you.’’

  Falling in love—

  She made a soft, almost inaudible sound. Julio had used those same words so easily, and she’d fallen for them hard.

  Somehow she resisted the urge to throw herself into his arms and kiss him senseless. She had to be smarter this time. She had to do what was right for all of them.

  ‘‘It was a dream,’’ she said. ‘‘And dreams can’t last. Isabela’s the kind of woman you should marry.’’

  ‘‘Do you ever listen? I repeat—she’s not right for me.’’

  ‘‘Do you listen? I love Isabela like a sister,’’ Vivian said.

  ‘‘I know. That’s how I probably love her too.’’

  ‘‘Stop it. This is tearing me to pieces. Okay?’’

  He nodded. She hated the way he looked so tortured and somehow defeated.

  ‘‘All right,’’ he said.

  ‘‘I have to handle her my own way.’’

  ‘‘What about us?’’

  Tears filled her eyes, but she blinked so he wouldn’t see them. She was sorry about what she had to say, sorrier than he could ever imagine.

  ‘‘What about your offer of a ticket and money for a fresh start?’’

  ‘‘I know what I said, damn it. I was madder than hell.’’ He caught a breath. ‘‘I can’t give you up.’’

  The sun beat down upon his dark hair, and her body was more conscious of him than it had ever been before. It was as if he were part of her and would always be part of her. Then she looked past him to the small dark figure who was still bouncing up and down on the board.

  Miguelito had moved even farther back on the board. ‘‘Darling, no. You can’t jump until you’re standing on the end—No!’’

  Cash’s head whipped around. One glance at the boy bouncing so clumsily and Cash sprang toward the pool. He dove at the exact moment Miguelito’s dark head hit the edge of the board and his body tumbled into the water at an angle.

  Two powerful strokes and Cash was under the board, grabbing the boy by his thin arms, pulling him up to fresh air and safety. Julio bellowed orders. In no time, Cash had Miguelito at the shallow end and was lifting him out of the water into Julio’s arms.

  Miguelito opened his eyes and stared at his parents vaguely.

  ‘‘Is he okay?’’ Vivian whispered.

  Julio hit him so soundly on the back, the child spit out a stream of water.

  ‘‘I think he’s going to be fine,’’ Cash said as he climbed out of the pool. His clothes were soaked, and water flooded the red tiles around the pool. His wet white shirt was plastered to his muscular torso. A black lock of hair fell across his dark brow, and he kept pushing it back. He looked sexy and infinitely dear.

  And he had saved Miguelito.

  ‘‘Feeling okay?’’ he asked as he knelt and pressed Miguelito’s hand.

  ‘‘My head hurts.’’

  ‘‘It probably will for a while.’’ Cash got up slowly. ‘‘I guess I’d better go change, and comb my leonine mane.’’

  Miguelito smiled up at him, and Vivian was suddenly so terrified of her feelings for the man towering above her that she looked down at her child, not trusting herself even to thank him. Instead of dealing with those feelings, she hugged Miguelito’s wet body fiercely and kissed his cheeks over and over again.

  ‘‘Cash rescued you, darling’’ was the best she could manage by way of thanks.

  ‘‘Thank you, Cash,’’ Miguelito called, and then he turned inquisitive black eyes to her. ‘‘Why is he going away? Why are you mad at him?’’

  ‘‘I’m not!’’

  Julio eyed her suspiciously. Grabbing a towel, he wrapped the boy in it. After that he put his arms around his ex-wife and son and held them protectively, as if they belonged to him.

  ‘‘The gringo must go,�
�’ he said in a low tone.

  ‘‘But I like him, Papacito. He saved—’’

  ‘‘He does not belong here.’’

  ‘‘Can we discuss this later?’’ Vivian asked, meaning when Miguelito wasn’t around.

  She wasn’t about to tell Julio that for once she agreed with him.

  * * *

  Stifling an unexpected attack of nervousness, Vivian straightened her shoulders and knocked softly on Isabela’s carved, bedroom door. When there was no answer, she turned the handle and stepped tentatively over the threshold. The bedroom was dark because the shutters were closed, and Isabela had the lights off.

  ‘‘Don’t turn on the light, Vivi.’’ Isabela’s whisper floated from the bed across the shadowy vastness.

  ‘‘Why didn’t you answer me?’’

  ‘‘I was too afraid.’’

  Guilt lodged like a fist in Vivian’s throat as she headed toward the huge dark shape that was Isabela’s double bed.

  ‘‘How did you do as my fairy godmother?’’ Isabela asked in a soft, unnatural voice.

  ‘‘I told you not to make me go,’’ Vivian replied, staring dully at the floor.

  ‘‘What did you two do?’’

  ‘‘We went to the beach house. He worked. He drew.’’

  ‘‘That sounds so…dull.’’ Isabela’s voice was stiff.

  Vivian’s stomach felt queasy.

  ‘‘I wish I could have been there, but—’’ Isabela snapped at the chain on her bedside lamp. Her face was still red and swollen, but her intense black eyes held infinite trust as she stared at Vivian. ‘‘Thank you for taking him. The doctor says I’m a little allergic after all. I can’t let Cash see me like this. You have to entertain him again today.’’

  ‘‘No!’’

  ‘‘Just one more day. Please—’’

  Dios. ‘‘There’s something I have to tell you.’’

  ‘‘I don’t care about my SUV.’’

  ‘‘That’s not it. Oh, Isabela, I’m so ashamed. I love you so much.’’

  ‘‘You slept with him?’’ Isabela said after a tense silence, her voice so low and wretched Vivian could barely hear her.

  Vivian forced herself to meet the blazing hurt in her sister-in-law’s eyes. ‘‘It was my fault. Totally my fault. Not his.’’

  Isabela went white. ‘‘H-how could you? Never in a million years did I believe that would be your answer.’’ Her black eyes lit up, and she grabbed her nail file and pointed it at her own heart.

  Twelve

  Isabela pressed the file against her chest. ‘‘If I cut out my heart, would that make you happy?’’

  ‘‘I’m sorry! I love you!’’

  ‘‘Sorry? Is that all you can say?’’ Isabela raised the file high.

  When Vivian screamed and ran toward her, Isabela stabbed at her pillows instead of her chest. She brought the file down again and again until feathers spurted out like flurries of snow.

  She plunged her file into the pillow still again. ‘‘I wish I had the courage to kill myself. I do.’’ She lifted the torn pillowcase and waved it back and forth, sending more feathers flying.

  Vivian’s mouth went dry. ‘‘I feel like such a louse.’’

  Isabela shredded the pillowcase, releasing the last of the feathers. ‘‘I was so worried and scared when you two didn’t come home last night. I tried to call you—dozens and dozens of times.’’

  ‘‘I know.’’

  Drifting feathers settled in Isabela’s black hair. One landed on the tip of her nose, and she sneezed and fanned it away. ‘‘Then I’d get paranoid and imagine you and he kissing, betraying me…but I’d tell myself those were crazy thoughts because I’ve got too much hot, Latin blood. One minute I was furious, the next I was terrified. I didn’t sleep a wink.’’

  ‘‘I’m sorry.’’

  ‘‘Quit saying that. Do you think I want your pity? You were both probably laughing at me.’’

  ‘‘No,’’ Vivian said tenderly.

  Isabela flung the nail file across the room and grabbed another pillow, hugging it to her breast. ‘‘I can’t believe you’re actually telling me all this—’’

  ‘‘You deserve the truth.’’

  ‘‘Deserve? This isn’t what I deserve. I did everything for you—’’

  ‘‘I know. You were wonderful.’’

  ‘‘No Mexican would ever confess to such, for fear of being stabbed or something. Why are you standing there? Watching me? Laughing at me? Why don’t you go and leave me?’’

  ‘‘I didn’t do it on purpose. It…it just happened.’’

  ‘‘Did he ask you to marry him?’’

  ‘‘It was just sex. Indiscriminate sex.’’

  ‘‘I don’t believe you. He’s not like that. He almost ran every time I tried to kiss him.’’

  ‘‘I don’t care about him. And he doesn’t care about me. He cares about you.’’

  ‘‘I’m not a total idiota.’’ Isabela threw her hands out and flopped backward onto her bed, sending more feathers spiraling above her. ‘‘When you leave, send the maids to clean up this mess.’’

  ‘‘I know you can never forgive me, and I don’t blame you. But forgive him. Marry him…. He needs you.’’

  Isabela sat up. ‘‘Are you crazy? Maybe if you hadn’t told me, maybe I could.’’

  ‘‘You two haven’t even begun yet. It’s not like he cheated on you.’’

  ‘‘How can you even say that?’’

  Vivian was backing toward the door. ‘‘I’m sorry. I feel terrible. I want to make everything all right.’’

  ‘‘Well, you can’t.’’

  ‘‘I’ll never forgive myself.’’

  ‘‘You’ve been wanting to go home and I wouldn’t let you. Well, I want you gone now. I’ll pay for your bus ticket.’’

  ‘‘Bus?’’ It was hours and hours to the States by bus.

  Isabela read her mind and smiled. ‘‘You can think about how sorry you are while you stare out at the Mexican countryside. We have a beautiful country, and it is quite large. The roads are bad too.’’ She laughed a little, as if cheered by the thought.

  ‘‘Miguelito will go crazy on such a long ride.’’

  Isabela laughed again. ‘‘We’ll make that a third-class bus, then. And…and that ticket is all you’ll ever get from me. As far as I’m concerned, once you get on that bus, I don’t care if it breaks down in the middle of the Chihuahua desert and you have a heat stroke, or…or banditos carry you off. If you do make it to the States, I don’t care if you’re so poor Miguelito starves or…or…’’

  She broke down in tears and buried her face in her sheets so Vivian couldn’t watch her cry.

  ‘‘Isabela, you don’t mean—’’

  ‘‘I mean every single word’’ came her muffled sobs through the wadded bedding.

  Vivian was slinging jeans and shorts and blouses she intended to pack for her trip home into a huge wicker laundry basket.

  ‘‘You slept with him? And you wouldn’t sleep with me?’’ Julio whispered. Maybe he was speaking softly, but he was striding about her bedroom like an angry bear.

  Furious, Vivian slung a red bra and a black silk pair of thong panties past his nose toward her basket.

  ‘‘A normal woman would pack in suitcases,’’ Julio said in husbandly disgust as he lifted the red bra off the floor. ‘‘When did you start wearing indecent underwear.’’ He peered at her through the sheer bra.

  ‘‘The way I pack is none of your business. Just as who I sleep with. And this—’’ she lunged and grabbed the bra ‘‘—is none of your business.’’

  ‘‘Because of another man, you’re taking my son to a violent, barbarous country—’’

  ‘‘The United States of America. The land of opportunity.’’

  Cash knocked on the door and Vivian and Julio yelled in unison, ‘‘Go away!’’

  ‘‘It’s only me.’’ Cash pushed the door open. ‘‘And since I’m the subjec
t of your conversation—’’

  She sighed, shrugging.

  Julio raised a fist. ‘‘She’s packing. She never wants to see you again.’’

  ‘‘Julio, I really can do this without you.’’

  ‘‘He slept with you, and he treats you like a dog!’’ Julio said to Vivian.

  ‘‘You’ve got your nerve,’’ Cash said.

  ‘‘She’s my wife!’’

  ‘‘Ex-wife.’’ This time it was Cash and Vivian who spoke in unison.

  When Julio lunged at Cash, Vivian jumped in front of him. His raised fist, meant for Cash’s jaw, collided with her slender jaw.

  ‘‘Ouch!’’ She fell backward and both men knelt on piles of lacy underwear to help her up.

  ‘‘Get ice,’’ Cash ordered, taking charge.

  ‘‘I’m fine,’’ she said. ‘‘Or I will be, as soon as you both leave.’’

  ‘‘I’m the husband,’’ Julio said. ‘‘I stay.’’

  ‘‘Julio, please—just do as he says. I really need to talk to him.’’

  ‘‘Alone? With all these sexy underwears.’’

  She gave him a look. ‘‘You’re not my husband anymore, you know.’’

  ‘‘It’s about time you reminded him of that fact,’’ Cash said.

  ‘‘You—be quiet,’’ she whispered, pressing a fingertip to her aching jaw.

  Julio bowed to her alone. ‘‘If you need me, scream.’’

  She nodded as he let himself out.

  ‘‘Why did you ever marry that lunatic?’’ Cash demanded.

  ‘‘He’s cute.’’

  ‘‘Funny. I don’t get that about him.’’ Cash made a face and then he left her to go to the bathroom. He returned swiftly with a cold wet rag, which she took and pressed against her jawline.

  ‘‘Okay. What do you want? As you can see, I’m busy packing.’’

  ‘‘You’re not traveling by third-class bus all the way to the States with a six-year-old little boy.’’

  ‘‘It’s okay. I feel sane, for the first time in years. I’m taking my life back. I’m going to get a job, go to college and become a teacher. I know that sounds ordinary to someone like—’’

  ‘‘Don’t treat me like I’m not human.’’