Insatiable

by Daniele Lanzarotta

  “I don’t know what happened but you don’t look that great. In fact, you look like you are in shock or something… you can’t stop shivering.” He was babbling on and on like he was nervous.

  He walked closer to me. “Look, I’m going to undress and put this shirt on you. I swear I’m not trying anything. You just… ugh…. I don’t know what else to do. Just give me some kind of sign if you want me to stop.”

  I didn’t.

  He stood behind me and moved my hair to the side. I could feel his warm fingers brushing against the back of my neck as he untied my bathing suit top. I wasn’t sure if it was the waves getting angrier or his touch, or maybe a combination of both, but everything just became too much and I closed my eyes. I could hear his breathing get heavier and I couldn’t help but to bite my bottom lip. Moving slowly, he put the shirt on me, letting it fall on its own. He then walked to where he stood in front of me and unbuttoned my shorts. I could feel his hands shaking, or maybe he was just struggling with the button, I wasn’t sure. I still couldn’t make myself move at all, but it was no longer because of Bram, it was because of Blake’s touch. He let my shorts fall to the ground.

  When I opened my eyes, he was staring at me and I couldn’t exactly read his expression but our eyes were locked in each other’s for a while before I finally got brave enough to glance outside. Bram was no longer there.

  “Are you okay?” he asked. “Just say something. Give me a sign that you’re okay.”

  I nodded and he took a deep breath.

  “Why don’t you sit down right here? I’m going to throw your things in the dryer, change my clothes, and make you something to eat.”

  I still felt as if I couldn’t speak, but I sat down and waited for him to come back.

  Chapter Five

  BLAKE

  I rush to my room and look at my phone again… still no signal. I throw the phone on my bed and start to pace back and forth. My mind races with thoughts about Arianna. Fuck! What am I going to do with her? I shouldn’t have changed her clothes like that. What was I thinking? I catch myself thinking about her curves and the softness of her skin, and that scent that’s a mixture of her and the ocean. Those thoughts stir emotions that shouldn’t have been here to begin with. This is the last thing I need, especially after having the horrible week I had with Brooke.

  I brush my fingers through my hair and try to think about something else, but I quickly go back to thinking about how stupid I was to change her clothes. I’m going to get fucking sued. Just when I thought my day couldn’t get any worse. I hope to God she’s over 18. She looks over 18. Yeah… she has to be older. I take a deep breath convincing myself that I have done the right thing. If she was in shock or whatever, she could have gotten sick and at least for now we are stuck on this island.

  Realizing that I have been gone for quite a few minutes, I rush to change my clothes. The last thing I need is for her to rush back into the sea. What was she trying to do? I don’t know what’s going on with her, but I know that she shouldn’t be left alone.

  I grab my phone and rush out of the room, heading for the kitchen to get her something to eat.

  ***

  ARIANNA

  He didn’t take long. When he came back, he was wearing cargo shorts and a black t-shirt and he carried a tray with food, human food.

  “Sorry,” he said. “I’m not much of a cook.”

  “Thank you,” I managed to say.

  He put the tray down and sat next to me, watching my every move. I nervously leaned forward and grabbed a slice of cheese.

  “I thought you said you had no one to go back to,” he said.

  I gave him a confused look.

  He pointed at my ring. “Or is that who you are running from?”

  I didn’t know what to say. I reached for the ring and took it off, putting it on the table. “It doesn’t mean what you think it does.”

  “Okay. Sorry. Even if it did, that‘s not my business.”

  He turned toward the fireplace, and deciding that the food didn’t taste that bad, I ate another bite. When he turned around, something about the way he looked at me took my breath away.

  “Look, I don’t know how to say this without sounding rude, but everything considered, I don’t think you should be left alone tonight. You can take that couch. I’ll take this one. Is that okay with you?”

  I nodded.

  “How old are you anyway?”

  I gave him a puzzled look. I didn’t ask why he wanted to know. I told him that I was eighteen.

  He seemed to relax a little. “I’ll be right back,” he said.

  While he was gone, I stood up and walked over to the glass windows, looking outside. The sea wasn’t any calmer than before. In fact, it was worse than I had ever seen. I was in tears again. At this point, even if I was able to return home, they would all hate me.

  I didn’t hear Blake behind me, but I could feel his warmth. He put his hand on my shoulder and I turned around. Without even thinking, I threw myself against his body, wrapping my arms around him.

  He hesitated for a second, and then I felt his arms go around me.

  “This storm should be gone by tomorrow. I’ll take you to the city and you’ll be okay. Everything will be okay.”

  Only, I became hysterical. “I can’t go anywhere. I’m can’t even get near the sea. I can’t. I just can’t!”

  He took a few steps back, probably thinking that I was crazy.

  “Okay. Okay. If the sea is a problem, I’ll get a helicopter to come get you.”

  I sat on the floor with my back against the glass windows.

  “You don’t understand. I can’t leave here. I have nothing and no one. I can’t go back home. I just can’t…”

  He sat next to me. “You’re gonna have to tell me why if you want me to help you.”

  I didn’t say anything.

  “Does it have something to do with that ring?”

  I nodded, avoiding his gaze. “My father made me marry someone who I don’t love.”

  He looked truly shocked.

  “What do you mean by made you? You couldn’t object? Maybe say, ‘no, I don’t’… or just refuse to sign the marriage license?”

  I shook my head. “My father married us. There were no questions asked. No documents signed.”

  He sighed and sat back against the glass. “Well, the good news is that you are not legally married.”

  I gave him a puzzled look.

  “Trust me. I’m unfortunate enough to have to go to law school.”

  “What do you mean by unfortunate?”

  “My family has a bit of an issue with controlling every aspect of my life.”

  “You don’t sound that different from me.”

  He raised an eyebrow.

  “You could tell them no,” I said.

  He grinned. “I doubt that, but maybe you’re right. We might not be much different after all.”

  He sighed and sat there quietly as if he was in deep thought.

  “Do you want to tell me how you got here, on this island?”

  I shook my head.

  “Look, I want to help you, but you have to tell me—”

  We were interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing.

  He grabbed the phone and looked at it. “About damn time! Sorry. I have a tough time getting signal here. I have to take this.”

  I watched him walk away as he answered the phone.

  Whoever he was talking to had completely changed his mood. He responded to everything in a cold tone.

  “…Yes, I know!... Of course I’ll talk to her. It’s not like I have a choice anyway… Yeah, well, there’s a pretty bad storm right now so I guess they’ll get here when they do…”

  It got silent after a while then he was back. He went straight for a table on the corner of the room and grabbed something to drink.

  He turned around and when his gaze met mine, something about his look softened.

  “You should probably s
leep in the guest bedroom.”

  I gave him a puzzled look as only a few minutes before he had insisted that I slept on the couch.

  “Trust me. I say too much when I start drinking. I’m afraid that—”

  “Afraid of what?” I asked.

  He finished his drink and started on another one.

  He shook his head and I was startled that he actually answered my question, as well as by the answer itself, “I already wanted to kiss you before I started to drink and you are obviously vulnerable, which is not a good combination.”

  I couldn’t control my reaction. I’m sure I looked disappointed.

  He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “Here, you had a long day too. Let me pour you a drink.”

  He walked toward me and handed me a cup. I drank. He drank.

  “What if I wanted you to kiss me?” I asked.

  He looked at me, his gaze burning into mine, until he looked down at my lips where he seemed to get lost for a few seconds. He walked closer to where I was sitting and leaned over me on the couch with one hand on each side right above my shoulders. I could feel my breathing get heavier.

  “There’s something different about you,” he whispered.

  His phone rang again. He cussed and answered the phone.

  “What?” he said as he got up and started to walk away.

  “No, Dad, I’m not going to do anything stupid…. Yeah, I understand, the merger is priority over everything, including my personal life…. Uh-huh… Yeah, I’ll see you then.”

  He hung up the phone and threw it on the other couch. He laughed as he shook his head. “You were right. We’re not that different at all.” He chugged his drink and poured another glass and drank that one within seconds.

  Then he faced me. “You should get some sleep. You can take the guest room you were in earlier.” He turned around, poured himself another drink, and went toward the other end of the house.

  Chapter Six

  I went to the room, where I avoided looking out the window. I took a deep breath and looked at where everything was placed. The closet, the large white bed with blue blanket that matched the blue on the wall, and the white dresser that looked as ancient as some of the furniture found in the sea. I turned the lights off and made my way to the bed where I lay down under the blanket. Soon after, I heard a loud noise as if someone had fallen down.

  “Damn it!” I heard him yell.

  I got up to check on him. Before I even got to the door, there was a knock. I opened the door and he almost fell in. He lost his balance and I put my hands against his chest to keep him from falling.

  I moved my hands away once I realized he had re-gained his balance.

  “You should lie down,” I said.

  He walked toward the bed and lay down. Not knowing what to do, I just stood there. When I turned to walk away, he stopped me.

  “You don’t have to go,” he said. “I just need a minute before I can get myself together.”

  “Oh, okay.” I stood there awkwardly.

  He tried to sit up, but quickly lay back down after moving some pillows under his head so he could see me.

  “Why didn’t you find a way out of marrying that guy?” he asked. “There had to be a way, even if it was running away or something.”

  “I’m here now, am I not?”

  “How long has it been since you got married?” he asked.

  I walked toward the bed and sat at the end of it. I looked at the floor to avoid his gaze. “I got married earlier today.”

  He tried to sit up again but failed. He spoke in a soft tone, “You know, I hate not being able to look in people’s eyes while I’m talking to them. Would you mind—looking at me?”

  I looked up at him and I could see the concern in his eyes.

  “Just lay down. Trust me, I’m in no condition to try anything,” he said.

  I lay next to him, toward the edge of the bed… as far away as I could. Not because I didn’t trust him as much as the fact that I was beginning not to trust myself. I felt as if something was off. I was starting to feel things that I had never felt before.

  He rolled to his side and stared into my eyes, or at least attempted to. His eyes kept drifting shut. “So what made the idea of spending your life with him so unbearable that you had to take off on your wedding night?”

  I looked down, avoiding his gaze. “He is really not a bad guy. I guess I just couldn’t bear the idea of giving myself to anyone who isn’t ‘the one’ and he’s not.”

  He gave me a shocked look.

  “So you have never slept with anyone?”

  I shook my head.

  “And you don’t think you could have loved him over time?”

  I shook my head again and grinned. “I choose to believe in fairy tales. I can see how learning to love someone over time is possible, but I want more. I want that first kiss that makes you feel nervous, and happy, and makes your heart melt.”

  He actually grinned at me, fighting to keep his eyes open. “Yet, you were ready to let me kiss you a little while ago.”

  My stomach was in knots now. When I got brave enough to look up, his eyes were closed.

  Because I know you are the one, I thought to myself.

  His eyes didn’t open after that and I stayed, watching him sleep and knowing that no matter how close I wish we were, in reality, we were worlds apart.

  Every time I thought about getting up, I couldn’t make myself move. Then it all hit me at once… every single thing that happened in the last few hours. I was so tired I decided to close my eyes for a second, but I fell asleep.

  When I woke up in morning, the sunlight was shining in the room and Blake had his arm over my waist. I made an attempt to move away, but he pulled me back, closer to him, our bodies fitting perfectly into one another.

  I felt his hand move down to my hip, getting past the hem of the shirt that I was wearing… his shirt. His hand felt so warm against my skin and even though I knew I should, I couldn’t pull myself away. He moved his hand up, stopping on my waistline and his eyes shot open. We were both well aware that I was wearing nothing but his shirt. He slowly moved his hand away, as he stared at me as if looking for answers. “Did anything happen last night?”

  “Nothing happened,” I said.

  He took a deep breath and lay on his back. I was surprised that he stayed on the bed.

  Still looking at him, I asked, “Why were you asking me those questions?

  “What questions?” he asked.

  “About growing to love someone instead of falling in love with someone.”

  “Oh, that? No reason.”

  “The way you asked, it was just so personal.”

  “Maybe it was. Tell me why you wanted me to kiss you and I might tell you why I asked you those questions.”

  And there I was thinking he wouldn’t remember that part.

  I looked away, knowing I had nothing to lose, but still scared to say it. “I just wanted you to kiss me. That’s all.”

  “Even with the whole spill about fairy tales and the big kiss? Because I have to warn you, nothing about me comes even close to a fairy tale.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  He grinned and shook his head. “I don’t know why you have this effect on me. I don’t usually talk or even think about this crap.”

  I kept looking at him.

  “I’m supposed to be proposing to someone this week.”

  “Oh.”

  “Yeah… It’s more of a business deal than anything else. My father wants to merge his company with her father’s company.”

  I believe shock was the look on my face as I got up.

  He sat up and looked at me. He looked so lost. “Like I said… Fairy tale guys wouldn’t do such a thing, would they?”

  “But you—you haven’t done that yet.”

  “But I will. It’s what I do. I cave and do what I need to do to please my family. That’s what the Crawfords are raised to do. Look, enough
with that. Looks like the weather is clearing out which means everyone will be back here soon. I’m going to take a shower and make us something to eat. Just make yourself at home. There’s a shower at the end of the hallway and clothes in the closet that should fit you. When they get back, I’ll take you to the city.”

  As if he couldn’t stand to even look at me anymore, he turned around, got up and walked away.

  Chapter Seven

  I started to wonder why nothing that he told me impacted me as it should. Maybe it was the fact that I watched him summer after summer, running to hide or too mad at the world whenever his dad seemed to be on the island with the rest of the family. That, and I knew what it was like having to do things to please others, to do things because you feel like you have no choice.

  As I thought things through, I grabbed a white crochet dress out of the closet and went to take a shower. I knew what showers looked like. The wrecked ships had many of them and Lyra also told me about human habits and necessities. Still, I stared at the knobs on the wall not knowing what to do. After turning them around, the water came down, starling me. I stepped in the shower and flinched as the ice-cold water touched my skin, but I soon got used to the temperature. The worst was the way the water pressure felt against my skin. It was just odd in so many ways, not just the pressure of the water, but also the chemical scent. It made me miss being in the sea, embraced in the warmth of the water that surrounded me.

  I didn’t know how long it would be before his family came back, so I made it quick. I put on the dress, brushed my hair and went into the kitchen where I found Blake. He had just gotten out of the shower, his hair still dripping wet, and he was wearing jeans and a white shirt. He was looking inside the fridge and grabbing things out. When he heard me, he turned around and froze. He then closed the refrigerator and walked toward me.

  “I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t ask this, but knowing everything that you know, do you still want that kiss?”

  I felt my heart racing. I slowly nodded once, already feeling nervous and as if the world was going to stop.

  He moved even closer.

  “Not here,” I said.