Submissive Nanny

by Viktor Redreich

  Everyone came rushing down as soon as Diana started screeching for them. Bianca managed to scramble to her feet and dive off to the bathroom to put on some clothes before anyone actually made it there, so she didn’t expose herself to the rest of the family, but the damage was already done. The worst person – the worst person – who could have caught them in the act had walked in on them fucking. And it didn’t seem like there was anything any of them could do to put it right.

  "Angela, I wish I didn’t have to be the one to tell you this," Diana told her daughter, gazing at her with a mixture of sadness and delight, as though she couldn’t believe that she was the one who got to break this news to her.

  "What’s going on?” Angela asked, looking over to Zev, who was standing there with his hands on his head like he was trying to find a way to wrap his mind around what had happened.

  "I just caught Zev and Bianca..." Diana began, and then she lowered her voice to a stage whisper, dramatic enough that everyone who had gathered could hear it. By then, Lydia had arrived, her hair in curlers and her face scrubbed clean of all make-up in preparation for the wedding. Bianca had no doubt that everyone was probably hustling their asses down here to catch up on what had to be the best gossip that had been passed around the family in a hell of a long time. She just couldn’t believe that she was the one at the center of it all.

  "In bed," Diana finished up, and the words hung in the air for a long moment before anyone reacted to them. Bianca looked to Angela first, silently praying that she would just come out and admit what was going on between them so that everyone could let go and move on. But how would they even begin to explain all of it? How far back would they go? Angela opened and closed her mouth, and, slowly, everyone else around them turned to look at her as they waited for her to respond to the revelations.

  At that moment, everything was still. Nothing moved, nothing mattered. Bianca couldn’t think or feel or speak – she could hardly hear, what with the loud ringing in her ears that had come as part of that slow-motion panic attack. Everyone was standing there, half-dressed for the wedding, watching as they believed that an entire marriage was falling apart in front of them. It was like the house itself was holding its breath, not wanting to break the moment.

  And from there, everything seemed to start running double-time. Angela stormed off, walking away from the room, and was swiftly pursued by her sister – Bianca went to go after her too, but Zev caught her arm and kept her from moving too quickly. Diana stepped in front of her and raised her eyebrows.

  "You really think I’m going to let you talk to my daughter after what I just caught you doing?” She snarled. Bianca would have laughed at her – it seemed so ridiculous, that she was jumping to defend Angela when she had been nothing but short and sharp with her daughter since she had arrived – but her voice was caught in her throat and she couldn’t even get a sound out. She hated this, hated herself, hated that she had been reckless enough not to lock the door and keep all of this from happening in the first place.

  Bianca sank back onto the bed, and let the chaos unfold around her. And chaos it was – it seemed like the whole household came to a screaming standstill when they found out what had happened. Screaming being the operative word. Bianca huddled in the corner of the bedroom, trying to hide from everything that was happening, hoping that nobody was going to take a look at her and try to figure out what she had been doing in the midst of all of it all. She wanted to explain it to them, to tell them that it wasn’t what it looked like, that she and Zev would never have hurt Angela on purpose. But it was too late, the damage had been done, and now they were just left to pick up the pieces in the wake of it.

  "There’s no way I can get married today!” Lydia announced, loud enough that pretty much everyone could hear her.

  "No, no!” Her mother exclaimed. "You can’t let this get in the way of your special day, sweetheart-"

  "I can’t go ahead with this when I know that my sister needs me," Lydia replied, and she grabbed Angela’s hand and squeezed it tight. Angela looked at her, and then glanced over at Bianca, who she hadn’t spoken to since this whole thing had started.

  "Don’t even think about her," Lydia ordered her. "You’re fine. Don’t think about either of them. We’re here to take care of you now, alright?”

  Eventually, Bianca managed to escape back to her room, though a cousin was posted on guard on her door to make sure that she wasn’t sneaking out to try and be with Zev once more. She couldn’t believe this was happening. All that secrecy, all that fun, all that love that had been building between them...and it was gone. In the blink of an eye. Just like that.

  Bianca sank back on to the bed and stared at the ceiling, feeling like a prisoner trapped up in a room all alone. She knew that they had been playing with fire, carrying on the affair while they were down there – but she had been too stubborn to let go of them, even for a few days. And now, it looked like everything was ruined.

  And she couldn’t help but think that it was entirely her fault.

  Chapter 21

  Do it in public

  "If you really think I’m going to let her speak to you, you’ve got another thing coming," Lydia sneered at Bianca. Bianca let out a long sigh and tipped her head back to look at the high, arched ceiling above her. She prayed to God for patience to deal with this fucking family and prayed to whoever else might have been up there that Angela would break her silence and be with them again soon.

  "Please," Bianca begged her. "I need to speak to her. There’s been a misunderstanding-"

  "Oh, I think I understand it perfectly," Lydia shot back, her voice barbed and a little delighted that she was getting to play the enforcer here. Bianca had wondered, since the first moment that Lydia had found out about this, if she was actually enjoying some aspects of what was going on. She got to prove that she was the noble sister, the one who could keep a relationship together, all the while pretending that she was pouring her energy and effort into the spurned Angela.

  The wedding had been officially called off for the time being – apparently, Lydia was just too focused on her sister and everything that had happened in the family to even think about tying the knot with her dearly beloved. In fact, she had been spending about as much time as she possibly could away from him, Bianca couldn’t help but notice, as though she was rather enjoying the chance to play martyr and run around and have everyone pat her on the back for what a great sister she was.

  "Can you at least tell her that I came down here?" Bianca asked, running out of patience. "I need to speak to her."

  "I’ll let her know," Lydia agreed finally. "But if she never wants to see you again, you can’t exactly be surprised, can you?”

  Bianca managed to give her a tight smile, and then turned and headed back up to her room. She was honestly surprised that the family hadn’t kicked her and Zev off the property since the great blow-up of a few days before – it seemed like they sincerely resented having to keep them around, and yet, they were still allowed to stay in the rooms they’d been assigned before this had happened. Bianca had to assume that Angela had something to do with that. She had probably made sure that they wouldn’t be booted out on to the street. Which proved to Bianca that she had at least some affection left for the two of them.

  As Bianca made her way up the stairs and tried to avoid the glares of the few wedding guests who were still stuck there after the great cancellation earlier in the week, she craved Angela’s company more than anything else. Not just because she was Angela, and Bianca always wanted to be close to her. But because she wanted an explanation as to all of this. What the hell had been going on? Why had she stormed off like that? Why hadn’t she spoken to either of them in days? Was she really hurt?

  The thought of being the cause of her distress upset Bianca to no end, but she didn’t see how that could be the case. After all, these were agreements that they had all come to together, that they had all made alongside one another. How could things have turned a
round so completely? Was this just an act she had to keep up around her family, for fear of being exposed and allowing them to see the truth of their unorthodox relationship?

  Bianca had no idea, and not being able to talk to Angela about it was driving her crazy. She knew Zev was in the same boat – they had been pushing him away from her in order to “protect" her better, and he hadn’t been able to get close since it had all gone down. Zev had been with the kids, mostly, since the family had all but banned Bianca from getting near them. They were trying to keep them safe from everything that had happened, they explained, as though Bianca was just going to blurt out every detail of what had happened as soon as she was left alone with them. She was lonely, so lonely, without the family who had taken her in, without the home that she actually felt like she belonged to.

  Planting herself down on the edge of the bed, Bianca stared off into space and wondered how much longer she was going to be expected to spend time in this awful place. Was it like paying a penance? After a few weeks, they would be satisfied that she had repented and send her on her way, happy that they had turned her into a better version of herself? She had no idea, and frankly, she didn’t want to have to be there long enough to find out.

  She was so far from everything that had made her feel safe and wanted and happy. All this time, cultivating a relationship with the two of them, all this time, and what had it come to at the end of the day? This hopeless, empty feeling that she had blown everything. The sureness that everything she had wanted was done for, and it was all her fault. If only she had just locked that door before Zev touched her, then none of this would have been happening. They would have been packing up to go home, maybe stealing a little extra time together while the family thought they were busy...

  Suddenly, there was a knock at her door, and Bianca practically leapt off the bed to answer it. She didn’t care if it was one of the family members who had come by to sneer at her some more, or to finally kick her out once and for all – she just wanted to see someone, to be around a person who wasn’t herself and her guilt and her doubt. She pulled the door open, ready to take on whoever was standing on the other side – and her jaw dropped when she saw who it was.

  "Angela?” She gasped, and she just stood there for a moment, staring at her, trying to figure out what the hell she was doing here. Angela looked tired, and she had her arms wrapped around herself like she was doing her best to keep the world at bay.

  "Are you going to let me in?” She asked pointedly, and Bianca stepped aside at once and gestured for her to enter the room. She peered into the corridor, making sure that none of her family were hanging out and waiting to pounce, but it was mercifully empty.

  Angela stepped over the threshold and ran her hands through her hair, letting out a long sigh as though this had been coming for longer than she would have cared to consider. Bianca offered her a smile, but it wasn’t returned. She supposed she could hardly be surprised. It was through her lack of tact and subtlety that all of this had started in the first place.

  "I’m so glad to see you," Bianca blurted out at last, and she meant it. Angela looked at her, and it seemed as though something finally started to soften in her face – she let out another sigh, but this time, she stepped over to Bianca and gave her a tight, warm hug. Bianca clung on to her for dear life, so glad that she was finally back. She didn’t know how long they would have before they were busted by the rest of her family, but she didn’t much care. She just wanted to enjoy it while she still could.

  "Do they know you’re here?" Bianca asked as Angela pulled away from her. Angela nodded.

  "They told me that you came looking for me again," she explained. "And I figured that I could actually get away with seeing you now."

  "I thought you were avoiding me," Bianca replied, somewhat kidding, but mostly just trying to confirm that her worst fears weren’t true. Angela shook her head.

  "I wasn’t," she assured her. "It was just that...well, with my family hanging over my shoulder every chance that they got, I was just freaked out that they were going to think less of me if I saw either of you again so soon."

  "So, what, you were just going to avoid us until you were sure that they were satisfied?" Bianca asked. She knew she was being a little harsh, but she had been holding out on this for what felt like forever, and now she was being told that it had nothing to do with what Angela wanted, and everything to do with that busybody family of hers.

  "I needed some time to put the pieces together," Angela explained, her voice defensive. "I wanted to see the two of you, I really did, but then my family locked in around me and I just couldn’t see a way to get away from them."

  Bianca planted herself down on the end of the bed and put her head in her hands. All of this was such a mess, and she knew that if she had been better at keeping her lust in hand, none of this would have happened in the first place. She felt Angela’s hand on her upper back, smoothing over her skin and comforting her gently. Bianca looked up at her and saw the softness that she had fallen for so hard and so fast over the past six months. The softness that made her feel at home next to Angela. She had been missing it so much that it almost ached to see it again after so long.

  "I don’t want it to be like this," Angela told her gently. "You get that, right? If I could undo all of this, I would."

  "Then why don’t you?” Bianca asked. "I just don’t understand. All this time, you could have just told them that this was going on, and they would have to let it go. Your sister canceled her wedding over this-"

  "To be honest, I think she was looking for any excuse she could find to cancel that wedding," Angela remarked, and Bianca giggled. She felt much the same way. Lydia had been far too pleased about backing off getting married to the man who was meant to be her beloved for her to believe that they were really destined to be together.

  "Yeah, you’re right," Bianca agreed. "But still. We’ve been banished up here the whole time. You don’t want to see us and talk this through?”

  "Of course I do," she promised me. "But it’s not as easy as that. I want to...I mean, I know that I want to be with you, but I don’t know how to tell my family that."

  "What do you mean?"

  "When my mom caught the two of you together, I guess I felt...I don’t know..." She trailed off as she tried to search for the words. "I wasn’t hurt, because I know about you guys, but I was...my family thought that I was being cheated on. That’s pretty humiliating, all things considered."

  "But you’re not being cheated on," Bianca reminded her. "You don’t feel that way, do you?”

  "No, of course, I don’t," Angela assured her. "But they think I am. They’re treating me like I am. And I just...I don’t know how to tell them that they’re wrong."

  "I could help you," Bianca promised her at once, grabbing her hand. "I’ll do anything, I promise. We can all meet with them together and explain what’s going on so they can actually understand-"

  "I don’t think there’s much I could do to make my family understand everything that’s been happening with the three of us," she confessed quietly. Bianca fell silent. She had no idea what to say to that. She wanted to tell this woman that she was more than what her family thought of her, that there was so much more to the way she lived her life than what those bloodsucking minions made of it, but she understood the struggle. Families were complicated and confusing and protective, even when they had the wrong end of the stick. The last thing Angela needed right then was Bianca making things worse.

  "If we’re going to keep doing this," Bianca told her softly. "Then we need to find a way to talk about it with people. One way or the other. I don’t want to be a secret for the rest of my life, that’s not what I signed up for."

  "And I don’t want you to be," Angela promised her, and she reached up to stroke her cheek. "You know, I wish I could tell the world that we’re together. I wish I could kiss you when we were in public. I wish I could...I just wish I could be with you properly, both of you. It doesn�
��t feel right, hiding it."

  "Then let’s tell them about it..."

  "I don’t know how," Angela replied, and she drew her gaze away from Bianca once more and shook her head. "It doesn’t feel right. I don’t know if they’ll be able to accept it..."

  "Well, forget about your family," Bianca urged her. "There’s more to life than them, right?”

  "Not just them," she admitted. "The rest of the world, too. I’ve never… I’ve never heard of people in relationships like ours, and I don’t know how it fits into the real world out there."

  Bianca fell silent because she knew she was right. What they had didn’t exactly translate to the real world. It was fantasy, at least for a lot of people, the kind of fantasy that they would never have been brave enough to indulge in. But for Bianca, it ran deeper than that. It was more than just a kink, a fling, something to switch up the thrill of a long-term relationship. It was real, it was passionate, it was loving, and she didn’t want to have to give that up in the name of doing what the rest of the world wanted her to do.

  But she had no idea as to how she was meant to address the current situation. She wanted to come up with an answer, but she was struggling to say anything that sounded logical. Instead, she just reached out and took Angela’s hand, and silently hoped that they would find a way around it, or at least through it. Because the thought of living the rest of her life hiding her true loves from the world was too painful to even think about.

  Chapter 22