Here, Home, Hope

by Kaira Rouda

  Every time I spotted my mom, she was talking to a different man. I’d need to talk to her about her flirting, I thought with a smile.

  Rachel had appeared sometime during the evening. She’d obviously come under the heading “plus guest.” I saw her before she spotted me, and realized I had a choice. I could allow her to raise my blood pressure, stress me out with her very presence, or I could let it go. Move on. She only had power over me if I allowed it. Eventually, she made her way through the crowd and arrived at my side.

  “Nice party, Kelly,” she said, her beady, bespectacled eyes staring at me.

  “Thank you, Rachel,” I said. And instead of telling her to beat it, I asked, “Have you tried the grilled beet salad? It’s amazing. Oh, and be sure to go next door and see my staging work. I know you’re not familiar with my new business or what I can do, but I’d appreciate your support.” Or, at the very least, you keeping your mouth shut instead of driving away potential clients, I wanted to add, but didn’t.

  “Yes, I hope it goes well for you, Kelly, but really, with Amy and all my volunteer activities, I could never take on a job. What about your boys?” she said. “It’s not like you have to work, right? You don’t, do you?”

  “No, Rachel, I don’t have to work; I want to work. And that’s the point, really. Some women like us are lucky. We have choices. And when we make them—whatever they are—the best thing we can hope for is to have other women, especially women who know us, support our choices,” I said. “I’m glad there are women like you who volunteer to make our community and our schools so much better. I value that. Just imagine how great it would be if we could all value each other, no matter what path we choose.”

  And then I smiled and walked away.

  THREE MONTHS LATER …

  After working on top of each other at my house for the past few months, moving into our office would feel great, and today was the day. I was driving the kids to school. Sean had just informed me he had a new girlfriend named Samantha, and David reminded me he needed his football gear dropped off at three o’clock.

  “Why couldn’t you just have taken it with you?” I asked for the third time this morning.

  “Because,” he said, sulking. “Can’t you just pretend you’re a normal mom and drop it all off with a snack, like you used to?”

  “You don’t think a working mom is a normal mom?”

  “Let’s not get into this again.” Sean, my little peacekeeper, jumped in. “Mom, we’re proud of your new business, we’re just not quite used to it yet. It’s like when your friend gets braces. At first you notice, but then you forget.”

  “Whatever,” David said as we pulled up in front of the middle school.

  “I’ll have it here by three,” I promised. “Have a great day you two!” I swallowed a gulp, and shook my head. I was doing what I wanted to do, putting my passion for decorating and helping people into action. And people were paying me to do it. So why did I feel so guilty? Surely I wasn’t the only working mother among David’s friends. Surely.

  It took Doug and me three minutes to make it from the school to the parking lot of the Crossroads building. As I pulled into the space I admired the signage. The corner windows were dressed with periwinkle blue and white striped awnings. Above the awnings was my logo: Kelly Johnson Home Staging + Design. My name, in huge letters, above my very own storefront. Next door, the look was more contemporary, yet welcoming. The round Real Living logo was screened onto the front windows, and words such as home, dream, believe, live, imagine, find, in various typography covered the rest of the window. Perfect, if I did say so myself.

  I turned the key to unlock the back door, and walked inside. Kathryn was already at work. Since she lived above the office and the high school started earlier than the middle school, she could drop off Melanie, drive back, park in her underground private spot, and get to her desk at least twenty minutes before me. It was fun having her here to greet me.

  About halfway through the build-out of the space, we had a meeting. I suggested blowing out the shared wall between our business and Charlotte’s. The two entities were naturally complementary, and since I was designing both spaces, I knew the look I could achieve.

  “Really, you guys would consider that? With me?” Charlotte had said. She’d already recruited ten real estate agents for her office, yet still seemed surprised that people wanted to be around her. The love she showed to others still hadn’t sunk through to her own soul. But she was working on it.

  “Of course, it’ll be great,” I answered, and Kathryn agreed. It would be easier for Kathryn to handle both of the operations that way, too. So here we were, three friends, bursting with entrepreneurial spirit, know-how, and a burgeoning client list.

  “How did we get so lucky?” I asked Kathryn as I dropped my purse on my desk and looked around at all we’d accomplished so far.

  “This isn’t luck,” Kathryn answered. “This is what we deserve.”

  Yes, we did, I thought, and added a postscript to my T2C list: “You deserve it!”

  THINGS TO CHANGE

  Capitalize on skills (Put passions into action)

  Minimize visits to dentist (Find healthy outlets for stress)

  Read business books, take classes (Keep learning)

  Don’t compare yourself to others (Love who you are)

  Don’t forget the care and feeding of friends (Stay connected)

  Curtail time spent watching Law & Order (Be present)

  Earn designation (Keep developing)

  Remember my blessings (Be grateful)

  Take charge of my hair (Step into your power)

  Keep self-deprecation to self (Be positive)

  Take self-defense classes (Be strong)

  Cardio exercises are good for you (Be healthy)

  Make my own vacation plans (Take charge)

  Pursue a job, hobby, or volunteer opportunities (Meet your own needs)

  Reconnect with old friends (Make time to nurture relationships)

  Take it one day at a time (Live now)

  Practice yoga (Breathe)

  Don’t be gullible/clueless (Be aware)

  Trust your instincts (Listen to your intuition)

  Yell without crying (Acknowledge all of your feelings)

  Tell the ones you love that you love them, daily (Share your heart)

  Avoid insincerity (Be true to yourself)

  You deserve it!

  Thank you for reading Here, Home, Hope. I sincerely hope you enjoyed the story and were inspired by the characters I created. The questions that follow are suggestions for further discussion. If you’d like to read more Q&A and information about the characters in the book, or if you want to find out about my next novel, please visit www.KairaRouda.com.

  I am passionate about empowering women in business specifically, and women in life generally. As a wife to a great husband and the mom of four kids, I know what it’s like to try to have it all and, in the end, discover that it’s really about having what you want. So, here’s to a robust discussion. And if you’d like me to join in, send me a Facebook message or find me on Twitter. I’d love to talk with your group.

  QUESTIONS AND TOPICS FOR DISCUSSION

  When we first meet Kelly Mills Johnson, she has the perfect suburban life: married to a successful attorney, living in a fabulous house in an upscale neighborhood, mother of two adorable boys, and she has the summer off from parenting while her sons are at camp in Maine. Yet, she’s grinding her teeth to a pulp and crying at the drop of a hat. So, why is she unhappy, and what is driving her need to change? Do you think there is anything wrong with her life? Why do you think she’s restless, searching? Does the revelation of her cancer scare resonate with you?

  Kelly’s archrival is Rachel White, a woman she describes as her personal Gladys Kravitz and a militia mom. What is it about Rachel that stirs such animosity in Kelly? And why, as women, do we often work against each other instead of together?

  How would you describe
the relationship between Charlotte and Kelly? How does the fact that Charlotte was a friend of Kelly’s younger sister first affect their relationship?

  How does Kelly view her friend, Kathryn, at the beginning of the novel? How does her perception of Kathryn change and how do they help balance each other by the end of the story?

  What is it that Kathryn represents in today’s society? Does being a powerful corporate woman, by definition, mean disappointment and heartache in a woman’s personal life?

  In your opinion, are more women today achieving a greater understanding of and discussing the truth of motherhood and the many different ways to be a “good mother”?

  Why is Kelly’s visceral response to Bruce Majors so negative? Does she have any justification for her feelings?

  Knowing that each character in the novel has her own struggles, whose problems do you see as the most severe? As all of the women attempt to assert themselves, each in her own way, who does it the best? Is it true that there is no one way to find balance and happiness in life?

  Why does Kelly talk to her car? Do you find yourself personifying anything around you? And what does Oreo mean to her?

  Melanie represents the teenager in all of us, yet, she is a tragic figure throughout most of the story. Do you think Melanie helps to propel Kelly’s change?

  Have you ever known anyone with an eating disorder? What does such a condition reveal about someone’s self-esteem and personality type? How, as a culture, have we continued to fuel this problem?

  What does Gavin represent in Here, Home, Hope? Why wasn’t he at Melanie’s illegal party? Why is he there for Melanie when all signs point to him leaving?

  What do you think of Kelly and Patrick’s relationship? How is their family? Do the parents have a close relationship with their sons?

  Which of Kelly’s Things to Change resonated with you? Why?

  Do you think Bruce and Charlotte love each other? Will Bruce be able to be there, fully committed to his family, this time around?

  What did Kathryn discover in Montana? Have you ever had a similar retreat or spent time focusing on yourself?

  How did Kelly grow and change throughout the story? What did she find? Is life balance something you find externally, through roles, or internally, through your heart?

  Which characters best represent each of the words in the title, Here, Home, Hope?

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE WHO HAD A PART IN MAKING MY dream of this book come true.

  First—you. Thank you for choosing Here, Home, Hope. As a debut novelist, I experience no greater joy than seeing someone reading the book I wrote and, I hope, enjoying it.

  To the supportive circle of talented and generous women novelists, thank you for welcoming me with such open arms.

  To all my social media friends, thank you for your encouragement during the creation of this novel and through the process of bringing it to life. I have met some amazing, supportive, and light-filled people online, and my life is better with you and your tweets and Facebook messages in it.

  To my lifetime friends, who are like family—those I grew up with in Columbus, I met in Nashville, and have embraced me in Malibu. Thank you for giving me the blessing of roots. And particularly for supporting this book, thank you to: Elizabeth Paulsen, Beth Dinsmore, Lynnie Biglow, Meg Melvin, Lonnie Galate, Connie Ballenger, Sarah Bacha, Trish Cadwallader, Kathleen Cottingham, Catherine Cassone, Laura Rosenthal, Mary Beth Thomas, Nell Ivy Prince, Joellyn Helman, Kathleen Murphy, Cathy Walker, Karen Kasich, Maureen Miller, Sheila Elsbrock, Valerie Baker, Dianette Wells, Penelope Stockinger, Jerri Churchill, Allen Young, Bonny Fowler, Lisa Bishoff, Jane Roslovic, Lynne Damer, Leslie Welsh, Julie Trotter, Cheryl Macey, Marie Wexler, Lori Webster, Susan Berg, Kristen Kieffer, Melanie Brown, Melissa Wallace, Linda Little, Arthur Joseph, Jackie Cassara, Kelly Meyer, Kathy Adams, Karen Rich, Elizabeth Lamont, Nora Wendell, Angie Ball, Ellen Schneider, Merlin Clark, Susan Meeder, Axelinta Martin, Lisa Farriss, and Allen Young. (I know I forgot someone important, so I will thank you first in the next book.)

  To my family. You are my heart, my inspiration. My sons, Trace, Shea, and Dylan, and my daughter, Avery—I’m so proud to be your mom. To my husband, Harley. And to my mutt, Oreo, who is very much a part of my life and this book. To Lisha and Halsey Wise, Colleen and Brian Sturdivant, and all of my nieces and nephews, thank you. To my parents, Frederick Sturdivant and Patricia Robinson Sturdivant, and my great aunts Ilse Kelso and Edie Hauk, and to Harley Rouda Sr.

  To my writing teachers: Dr. Vereen Bell and the Vanderbilt University English department, Doral Chenoweth, Adrienne Bosworth, Michael Chevy Castranova, Lenore Brown, Ben Cason, Linda Kast, Anne Collette. And to Virginia Gardier, my first librarian at Burbank Elementary School, for instilling her love of books in me. Thank you.

  And finally, to my book team for keeping hope alive and turning my dreams into reality: thanks to book publicist extraordinaire Crystal Patriarche and the amazing team at Greenleaf, especially Tanya Hall, Kristen Sears, Sheila Parr, Carrie Winsett, Bryan Carroll, and my wonderful editor, Linda W. O’Doughda.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  KAIRA STURDIVANT ROUDA IS ALL ABOUT EMPOWERING women like those in this, her debut novel. An award-winning entrepreneur, marketer, speaker, and author, she has founded numerous companies, including Real You, and she was the brand creator of Real Living Real Estate, the nation’s first women-focused real estate brand. Her business book, Real You Incorporated: 8 Essentials for Women Entrepreneurs (Wiley, 2008), was an Amazon.com bestseller and USA Book Awards winner.

  As an authority on entrepreneurship, branding, marketing to women, and work-life balance, Kaira has been a speaker at conferences across the country. She has been featured in Entrepreneur magazine, on Fox Business, ABC, NBC, WomenEntrepreneur.com, and on the ABC Radio Network, among others. She is a favorite interviewee and contributor to online women’s communities and was recently named to the Forbes list of the Top 30 Women Entrepreneurs to Follow on Twitter and as one of TwitterGrader’s Most Powerful Women on Twitter.

  Named 2008 Best Entrepreneur by the Stevie Awards for Women in Business, Kaira has also been listed as one of the 2008 top ten real estate newsmakers and top fifty most influential women in real estate by the industry’s trends report. For her marketing work and influence, she’s received multiple Addy, Webby, Telly, Communicator, Prism, WebAward, and W3 awards.

  Also active in her community, Kaira created Central Ohio’s first homeless shelter for families, served two terms on the board of the Mid-Ohio Food Bank, and served on the boards of the YWCA, March of Dimes, and The Wexner Center for the Arts, among others. She is an underwriter of The Women’s Fund. She has received numerous awards for her civic service, and she also volunteers countless hours at her kids’ schools.

  Kaira is a magna cum laude graduate of Vanderbilt University with a BA in English, and she has taken numerous graduate-level writing courses. She has studied with The Writer’s Studio in New York and has attended writer’s conferences, including Antioch Writer’s Workshop and the Maui Writer’s Conference.

  Kaira and her husband, Harley, have four children. After spending most of their married life in Columbus, Ohio, they recently relocated to the beach in Southern California. Visit Kaira on her website at www.KairaRouda.com and follow Kaira on Twitter.com/KairaRouda and Facebook.