Minutes later I was reminded exactly why I missed being in his bed, too. I was still out of breath when I laced up my shoes and hunted down Shazo's keys. It had been the perfect way to pass time though; I was less anxious about my parents coming now. I kissed Felix bye and headed to Shazo's car while Felix passed me and headed into the forest. I watched him in the rearview mirror until he was out of sight, and then headed to the airport.
The flight was delayed half an hour, so I wandered the gift shop and got a pretzel in one of the restaurants. When I made my way to the arrival section, I was just in time. My mom ran up to me and gripped me in the tightest hug of my life. My dad's hug was less aggressive, but still nice.
"Oh honey, it's so good to see you," my mom said. "You look good. Happy, even."
My mom's arms wrapped around one of mine and we walked like that until we got to the car. My dad put their bags in the trunk and then we all loaded up.
"I cannot wait to see this forest," my dad said. "You guys have any interesting birds? The guys in my club might get a kick out of this place."
"Uh, actually no. No birds," I said.
"What?" He gave me a puzzled look.
"There aren't any birds in the forest. There aren't any animals." I had left out a lot of creepy details, like the silence and the no animals. "I don't know if they're scared or what."
"That sounds...quiet," he said slowly.
"Um, yeah. Pretty much silent."
My dad shot my mom a look I caught in the rearview mirror and a pit began to grow in my stomach. I knew that look. It was the 'we need to talk to her about this' look. The one he gave before they told me I needed to quit soccer (I did nothing but chase butterflies) and give up AP Physics (my tutor was cute, but, hello, it was Physics).
I asked them questions about home so we could have a few minutes before they were surrounded by ghosts and the forest and creepy details and me not getting into college and, oh man, the realization of me and Felix together. They didn't know about Gideon Tanner and his couch, and I had only brought home two boys my whole high school life. Neither very serious. I didn't know how Felix felt, but my feelings were definitely on the serious side. It was going to be a lot to take in. I got the feeling I would be dipping into Felix's stash a lot. That or spiking my parents' drinks.
"Well, it is pretty up here," my mom said when I pulled up to the house.
"House is a real beaut. What is it, 1800s?" my dad asked.
"I think so," I said even though I couldn't remember if Shazo mentioned it or not.
We all got out and I saw my mom eyeing the hearse.
"You, uh, weren't kidding," she said with a forced laugh. "It's really a hearse."
"Can't wait to meet the character that drives that," my dad said and he lugged their bags out of the car.
"They might both be in the forest, I'm not sure."
"Well, I'd love to get settled," my mom said brightly.
I couldn't believe how nervous I was, letting them into the house. We went straight upstairs and I showed them to their room. They seemed to like it. I showed them the bathroom and explained the door to the porch. 'Quirky' my dad called it. I left them to unpack and change out of their gross airport clothes. I heard a glass clink downstairs and I hurried to the kitchen, hoping to see Felix. Instead, I saw both Felix and Shazo spreading a table runner decorated with fall leaves across a shiny, dark wooden table. I froze in the doorway.
"Wh...Wait, what-"
"You need a table for Thanksgiving," Shazo said.
"And we wanted you to have one in general," Felix said. "We ran to the store while you were gone."
"Sorry it took us five months," Shazo said with an embarrassed shrug.
I walked over to it and ran my hand across the table. "You guys, it's beautiful. Thank you."
It eased some of the anxiety in my stomach. I wasn't sure how to tell my parents we would be eating Thanksgiving dinner crammed together on the couch.
"How's it going up there? Is the room okay?" Felix asked.
"They like the room," I confirmed.
"But?" Shazo asked. "I feel like there's a 'but.'"
"I don't know. Things seem weird. I mentioned there are no animals in the forest and my dad gave my mom this look he gives before they agree to talk me out of something. I get the feeling there's an ulterior motive to this visit."
Felix frowned and Shazo shot him a look.
"What can we do?" Shazo asked.
I shrugged helplessly. "I'll let you know." I heard the top stair creak and I froze. "They're coming. Oh God, okay."
"Sweetie?" my mom called out. I hurried to the stairs and ushered them into the kitchen. I would do a full tour later.
"Mom, Dad, this is Felix and Shazo."
Everyone shook hands except my mom who pulled them both into hugs.
"Which one drives the hearse?" my dad asked me. I pointed at Felix and watched my dad size him up. The pit in my stomach was back. Somehow, this was worse than them meeting a boyfriend. This was them meeting a whole new life, a whole new Pippa.
TWENTY-SEVEN
I had planned to ease my parents into the forest. Maybe walk around the backyard first. Walk to the gate. In a couple days, go fully into the forest. But, my dad had other plans. After dinner (Shazo ordered pizza since the fridge needed re-stocking) when the three of us were checking to see if our bags needed any supplies restocked, my parents dropped their walking shoes next to mine.
"I want to see what you do every night," my dad said.
Ah, fuck.
"Are you sure? You're not tired? Want to get a good night's sleep? Maybe do morning check instead?" I asked.
"Nope, all good. We'd like to go with you."
"Us," I said. "I don't always do checks by myself." I shot the guys a look and I think they understood I didn't want to do this alone.
"You don't?" He looked surprised. "But you've been here five months. Why are you still partnering up?"
"Don't want her to hit her head again," Shazo joked. When he saw the look on my face he grimaced, and stared at his shoes.
"What?" My mom asked giving me a wild look. "Your head? What happened to your head?" She reached for me and started pushing my hair around.
"It's not a big deal," I insisted.
"Pippa," my dad said sternly. That look could make me give up government secrets.
"I fell not long after I got here and hit my head. It was a couple of stitches, and so not a big deal. I didn't stay overnight or anything."
My parents stared at me, hard.
"And you left this out because?" my dad prompted.
"Like I said, it wasn't a big deal. I didn't want you guys to worry. I'm fine, honestly. It was raining and it was slick, and nothing like that has happened since."
"We worry about you every day and every night, and now we find out you needed emergency medical attention? How do you think that makes me feel?" my mom asked.
I didn't know what to say. I'm an adult and I made a decision? That wouldn't go over well. I settled for, "I'm sorry."
They both gave me disapproving looks and then laced up their shoes. The walk to the gate was quiet. When Shazo locked it behind us, he gave Felix and then me a look. I knew what he was silently asking. Who were we going with? The guy I was sleeping with that my parents had no idea about, or Shazo.
"Why don't we all head to the right fork," Felix suggested. "Make it a group thing tonight."
"Sounds like a good idea," Shazo said, clapping him on the back. "We can all give you the grand tour."
I was more than grateful. Going with both of them meant less attention on me. When we stepped off the path and into the woods, I started giving my parents glances every few minutes. They looked around curiously. My mom asked about the kinds of trees. It was kind of a surreal situation.
"Are there bodies in here?" my mom asked. She had been sticking close to Felix and directing most of her questions to him.
"Yes," Felix replied. "We take out as many as we
can, but there are some we have to leave, and I'm sure there are many we haven't found."
"So we're walking with ghosts and bodies," my dad said.
Felix nodded.
"How do you not get creeped out?" my mom asked me.
"I do. Daily."
"We all still do. I think that's the healthy response," Shazo said.
"Are there any, you know, ghosts now?" my dad asked later when we had finally turned back for the main path.
I had seen one, an older lady with obvious wrist-slitting wounds. But I couldn't bring myself to interact with her in front of my parents. I didn't want them to look at me like I was crazy. I made a mental note of where she was and just had to hope she'd be there next time I came in without my parents.
"No, all clear," Shazo said. "We don't see them every day. Usually a couple a week, but sometimes there's a bigger lull."
"You think you'll ever be done? I mean, there can only be so many ghosts here," my dad said.
Felix and Shazo glanced at each other.
"Maybe," Felix said. "We've wondered that, too, but people have been working here for over eighty years. There are always souls to help cross over."
My dad was quiet. I was glad he asked though. I had wondered that, too. Could there ever be an end to this job? Would someone eventually find the last ghost in the forest to cross over?
"I think we have pretty good job security," Shazo said lightly.
My mom asked a few more questions, ones I hadn't answered in my calls to her over the months. By the time we got back to the house it was dark and my parents both looked tired. I got them fresh towels and they bid us all goodnight before heading upstairs to shower and go to bed. When their bedroom door clicked shut Shazo tossed me a miniature bottle of tequila.
"You look like you need this," he said. He motioned for me to follow him and we walked out back. We sat on the patio and Felix soon joined us, the glass in his hands smelling of whiskey. I poured half the small bottle into my mouth and let out a sigh.
"You seem tense," Felix said.
"I really am. I thought I was going to be so happy and relaxed with them here, but I'm not. I keep waiting for them to disapprove or find a reason to take me home with them."
Shazo patted my knee. "It's just first impressions. You remember how you felt your first few days here?"
Weeks, I thought. And, yeah, okay, he had a point.
"It'll be okay," he said. "It's a lot to take in on a such a short trip here."
I hoped he was right. After we finished our drinks, Shazo went to bed and left me and Felix outside.
"So, your parents don't know about us," he stated.
I turned the tequila bottle over in my hand. "I wasn't sure if I should say anything."
"Why?"
"I didn't know if this was a casual thing or not. Or if you wanted them to know."
"Do you want this to just be a casual thing?" he asked carefully. When I shook my head, he sighed in relief. "Good. Me either."
"So you want me to tell them about us?"
He thought for a minute. "I'll leave that up to you. I don't have a problem with it, but I foresee it causing more tension this week."
I groaned. "Why is it so tense?"
"Because they're not seeing the Pippa that got on that plane. They're seeing a whole new you and it's going to be hard to accept that you're not the same person you were five months ago."
He was right. I wasn't. The Pippa that went into the woods on day one was not the same one that stepped out.
TWENTY-EIGHT
First impressions stayed on my mind over the next couple of days. Everything I did as my routine was new to my parents and I tried to keep that in mind. I could see them sharing looks frequently, sometimes looking worried and other times looking impressed. I tried to act as normal as possible and just focus on getting through the week. Luckily, today was the day I was taking my mom to town to buy food for Thanksgiving.
"Not that the hearse isn't quirky, but I'm glad we took this car instead," my mom was saying while I maneuvered Shazo's car down the mountain. Based on the list Felix handed me this morning we probably should have taken the hearse for the cargo space alone. "So," she said, and turned to face me. I glanced at her. "Remind me, have you ever had a boyfriend during the holidays?"
I gripped the wheel a little tighter. "Um, what? Why?"
"It's one of the most romantic times of the year. Family, Christmas lights, fires. It's nice to share that with someone."
The pit in my stomach was the size of the Grand Canyon. She knew. Just stay quiet, Pippa, you're almost to the store.
"Sweetie, you think I didn't notice the looks you two share?"
No, I didn't. I thought we had been careful. Okay, maybe Felix was still his flirty self, but I didn't want to deal with my dad and his boyfriend questions while they were here, or have him sit between Felix and me on the couch. Jesus, can you imagine? It was a first visit and I wanted it to be fun, not stressful.
"Are you two having sex?" she whispered.
"Oh, can we not-"
"Oh my God, you are! Oh wow. Now, you know the first time can be traumatizing and bring up all kinds of emotions, so if you need to ask me anything." She trailed off and raised an eyebrow.
I didn't remember it taking this long to get to the store. Was I lost? Did I drive into a wormhole? "No, Mom. No, no. I'm good, okay? Felix wasn't my first. I'm-"
"What?" she asked, looking a little hurt. "You weren't...when did...?" She crossed her arms and stared at me.
"Just this guy from school a couple years ago. It wasn't a thing, we weren't dating."
She was quiet and started to pick at her nails. "Well," she finally said. "I'm just learning all kinds of new things about you."
I quickly pulled into the parking lot when I spotted the store. Thank God. She wouldn't continue this conversation in public. I unclipped my seatbelt and looked at her. "What do you mean?"
"You're such a different person than I thought. You keep things from me, big things, you don't say that you've gotten a head injury. I mean, what other surprises are there, Pippa? Are you pregnant? Running for mayor?"
"Mom," I pleaded. "I'm sorry. I kept things from you guys that I thought I should keep to myself. Not everyone wants to tell their mom when they lose their virginity. And you know I have no interest in politics."
She grabbed the faded yellow purse at her feet and sighed. "It's been hard since you left. It's not the same as you going to a local college where you can come home weekends or do your laundry on a Tuesday. You're a plane ride away. I feel so disconnected from you and finding out these things makes me think we're in trouble of becoming distant."
"Oh, Mom. You will always be my best friend. I don't care how many plane rides away I am. I know it's hard only having the phone to communicate, but I thought we were doing pretty well. I'll visit often, okay? We should plan a family vacation, too. I want you to always be a big part of my life. We just may have to work on things a little harder." She whipped her head around and stared at me with wide eyes. I froze. "What? What's wrong?"
"You're staying?" she said at such a level that I winced.
I hadn't even realized what I was saying. I was just trying to talk her off the ledge and my words hinted strongly at me staying.
"I don't know," I said. "I really don't. I'm just saying that if I do, that things will work out. You won't lose me."
"You're going to stay here. In Alabama. Working in a forest with ghosts. Pippa Alison Wilder," she said with a groan.
"I said I don't know," I insisted. And then, it was my turn to narrow my eyes. "What's your problem with this place? When I left you were all about this, said what a great opportunity this was and it was time for me to spread my wings and now that I'm here and I'm doing just that, you and Dad keep giving each other looks like this is the most horrible place on Earth."
She set her face in hands. "Let's not do this, okay?"
"Why not? You obviously have issues and
I'd like to know what they are."
She got out of the car and started walking for the sliding doors and I swear to God, I almost pulled out and left her. Who was this woman? This was not my Snickers bar loving, kale hating mother. This was some judgmental thing in her place. I grabbed my bag and stormed after her. Like her, I didn't like confrontations in public, so we shopped in silence, dropping things into the cart with loud thunks and clanks. We stuffed the trunk of the car full and still had to put some of the bags in the back seat. I turned the radio on for the ride back to the house and she sat there, just staring ahead. As soon as I put the car in park, the trunk opened and startled both of us. Felix gave a wave and started unloading.
"I was on my way inside and saw you guys pull up," he explained, arms full of bags. "Was it crowded? Did they still have pie?" My mom slammed the car door and stalked past him without a word. Felix looked after her and then raised his eyebrows at me. "Did I miss something?" he asked.
"She totally freaked out on me," I said. "All this stuff about me changing and being a different person and us not being close. And, not only does she know about us, but she now knows we're having sex."
Felix inhaled through his teeth. "So, should I expect an uncomfortable Thanksgiving? Should I spike the cider?"
"This isn't funny. She's acting so weird. I asked her what her problem is and she stopped talking to me. She hasn't talked to me since I walked into the store."
He juggled a bag to his other arm and draped his heavy, but free arm around my shoulders. "I'm sorry. It'll be okay. You guys will work things out."
"She thinks I'm staying. That's what set her off."
We walked to the house and Felix shot me a look. "Are you?"
"I don't know," I said with a groan. "I have weeks to decide."
"Right. Sorry."
We got inside and dumped the bags on the kitchen counters and Felix started unloading, organizing things in the fridge as he did. I left him, knowing he had his own system, and marched up the stairs. I knocked on my parent's door and my dad said, "It's open, we don't live here." I opened the door and immediately pointed an accusing finger at my mom.
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