Throwaway

by Heather Huffman

  “So… do you come here often?”

  “Did you really just ask me that?” Jessie couldn’t resist calling him on it.

  “Wow, I guess I did. I’m a little rusty at this.”

  “If it makes you feel any better, I think Harmony has given me up as hopeless.”

  “Then we make quite a pair.”

  “It appears we do,” a smile toyed with her mouth. If he only knew.

  “So… what kind of work do you do?”

  Jessie nearly spit her beer out. She was pretty proud of herself when she swallowed it instead and finally managed, “Customer service. How about you?”

  “Teacher.”

  “Really?” Wow, she was a horrible person. She shifted her gaze from him, hoping he wouldn’t see the pathetic sorrow in her eyes.

  A sleek black Mercedes S600 glided past the window. She didn’t need to see the plates to know who it was.

  “Sorry, I have to go now,” she caught Harmony’s eyes and motioned for her.

  “Did I say something?” he frowned.

  “No, no. I enjoyed meeting you. I just really need to go now,” she could see Vance striding across the street as she spoke.

  “Can I see you again?” he grabbed Jessie’s hand when she would have slipped away.

  “I don’t know…” Jessie glanced from Vance to Gabe. There was a look in his eyes that made her breath deepen. A power other than her brain took over and she impulsively wrapped her fingers through the hair at his nape and pulled him to her for a quick but thorough kiss. “Broadway Oyster Bar, night after tomorrow... eight o’clock.”

  He nodded, a little shaken. Jessie smiled at that and brushed a light kiss on the corner of his mouth before grabbing a now-waiting Harmony by the hand and rushing to meet Vance at the door.

  “You’re playing a dangerous game, Jessie-girl,” Vance warned in a low voice, grabbing her by the arm more gently than it appeared.

  “It wasn’t exactly planned,” Jessie frowned, hoping neither Gabe nor Chad had witnessed her departure.

  “Just tell Spence it was only you girls in there.”

  It wasn’t like Vance to advise her to lie to Spence. What exactly was going on that she didn’t know?

  “Did you ladies have a nice evening?” Spence’s voice was smooth as silk, but Jessie recognized it for what it was—bridled fury.

  “It was fine. A little boring, but fine. Is there something in particular we’re supposed to be looking for?”

  “You’d know it if you saw it.”

  He seemed to be trying to read beyond her words. He peered so closely at her, she wondered for the briefest of moments if he could read minds.

  “Do you want us to work Washington tomorrow? Soulard? Or do you want us back on the East side?” Harmony jumped in, turning his attention from Jessie.

  “Washington? That’s not a bad idea. Start at the casinos and work your way down Washington. We’ll make a decision after that.”

  “Sure, Spence,” Jessie agreed more eagerly than she felt. After that, the tension in the car ebbed. Spence seemed satisfied that the girls were just being thorough and he listened as they described their evening—minus one detail.

  That night, after Harmony had gone to bed, Jessie still sat chin-deep in a warm bubble bath. The smell of mandarin curled around her senses; the bath oils clung to her skin. His face hovered in her mind’s eye.

  A knock at the door startled her. As she wrapped a fluffy orange towel around herself, she glanced at the clock. It was 3 a.m.

  “Vance, what are you doing here?”

  “I only have a minute,” he looked around nervously.

  Jessie nodded. She knew Spence watched her comings and goings. He meant it when he said she belonged to him. Someone was usually watching her building and it was just one way he made sure she didn’t make any attachments other than those allowed to her.

  “That guy in the bar,” Vance continued. “The one you were with when I got there. He’s one of the reasons Spence sent you down there. That guy’s been tailing Spence for a month now.”

  “The teacher?” Jessie furrowed her brow.

  “Honey, that’s no teacher. He’s a cop.”

  Chapter Two

  Jessie wasn’t sure how long she sat in her towel with her back to the door after Vance disappeared. He wasn’t about to risk being caught leaving Jessie’s building in the middle of the night, so he’d left right after dropping the bomb on her.

  She furiously wiped away the tears on her cheeks. If this was what having a crush on someone got you, it was just as well she’d never had one before.

  After the hurt feelings came anger. It simmered as she dressed for bed—then as she lay in the dark, reliving the evening through the lens of new information. It continued to bubble all throughout her fitful sleep.

  By the time her eyes opened to the late-morning sun streaming through her window, rage was boiling over. She wasn’t mad at Spence for using her as bait. That was pretty typical Spence.

  But Gabe had flat-out lied to her. He’d seemed so sincere. Jessie wasn’t about to dissect why this lying man bothered her when so many had lied to her before. If she took too close a look, she might uncover something really unsettling… like the fact that this one bothered her because she’d wanted him to be telling the truth.

  She had cared.

  “Jessie,” Harmony was knocking at her door. “Are we going to yoga?”

  “Sure. Give me five minutes,” she called out lifelessly.

  As much as she’d love to crawl back under her covers and hide from the world, she knew yoga would clear her mind better than pouting. And she needed a clear mind so she could decide just how best to annihilate Gabe.

  The yoga routine did help calm her rattled nerves. The rest of the day seemed to crawl by. Evening finally came and Spence once again showed up to drop Jessie and Harmony off on the west side of the river.

  They didn’t have to go farther than the casinos to find clients. Jessie was glad she didn’t run into Gabe. She’s never been ashamed of who she was but found herself holding on to some sliver of hope that he didn’t know. Maybe Vance had been wrong.

  Yoga might be nice, but Jessie was happy for her weight routine the next morning. She had a little steam to burn off and a long day looming in front of her. Buying groceries would only take up so much of it.

  Harmony had a full day of classes, leaving Jessie to her own devices. She killed some time by wandering in and out of the antique shops and thrift stores. She treated herself to La Vallesana for lunch, snagging a seat under a bright blue umbrella to savor her tacos al pastor. Vance strolled across the street from Vallesana 2, apparently engrossed in his lime ice cream.

  A smile tugged at the corner of Jessie’s mouth. He seemed much less intimidating when licking the back of a plastic spoon. He settled into a seat beside Jessie without a hello; the two sat in silence, enjoying their treats.

  “What’s he gotten himself into?” Jessie finally asked in a low voice.

  “He tried to play with the big dogs,” Vance shook his sandy-blonde head. “So far all he’s managed to do is get himself in debt and catch the cops’ attention.”

  “So you think Harmony and I are bait to draw out the police?”

  “He knows you won’t turn him in.”

  “And I won’t be any good to him for much longer.”

  “I don’t know about that… he’s been waiting a long time to have you all to himself,” Vance seemed to be trying to reassure her. She shuddered a little at the thought. She liked having limited exposure to her boss.

  “Does he know Gabe is a cop?” Jessie wasn’t sure why she asked.

  “That guy’s not very good at undercover if he’s giving out his real name,” Vance snorted.

  “So that is his real name?”

  “Gabe Adams. St. Louis PD. He started tailing you the minute you got out of the car last night. I think he’s after some of Spence’s new associates.”

  “If you know
all of that, why is he still alive?”

  “At least we know who he is. If he gets removed from the equation, they’ll just send a new one.”

  “Why do you need me?”

  “Spence is trying to figure out what they’re after… how much they know. He’s hoping that by being on the streets, you’ll hear something. Worst case scenario, you get picked up by the cops and maybe you’ll learn something that way.”

  “And you’re telling me this because….” Jessie wondered against her better judgment.

  “You’re in a bad spot, Jessie-girl. Don’t make it worse. Spence won’t let you go—you’re his.”

  “Unless he gets me arrested,” Jessie growled. “Then I belong to the state of Missouri.”

  She’d belonged to the state of Missouri once before and through no fault of her own. She had no intention of being their ward in a new capacity now.

  “He doesn’t think you’d go away for long.”

  “That’s comforting.”

  “I’d better go. Last thing I need is for someone to see us together—Spence’ll get the wrong idea.”

  “Thanks for stopping by,” Jessie gave him a small smile. “I’ll be careful.”

  She wondered if meeting Gabe Adams for drinks fell under the description of being careful. Probably not, but that didn’t stop her from wishing the minutes on the clock would move along a little faster. Even if she did plan to annihilate him, she was looking forward to seeing him. Maybe she could hear him laugh one more time.

  Jessie planned her wardrobe with extra care that evening. Her favorite pair of jeans, boots that would make Nancy Sinatra proud, and a bra that promised age-defying lift were part of her arsenal. She completed the ensemble with a simple cotton shirt—she didn’t want him to think she was trying too hard.

  “You look nice,” Harmony raised an eyebrow knowingly.

  “Don’t you have some studying to do?”

  “What should I say if Spence calls looking for you?”

  “I don’t know… tell him I’m working in a soup kitchen or something.”

  “A soup kitchen?”

  “What can I say? I’m a hooker with a heart,” Jessie shrugged prettily.

  Harmony rolled her eyes and laughed. “I’ll be sure to tell him that, too.”

  “Maybe he won’t check up on me.”

  “Maybe,” Harmony didn’t seem convinced. “Be careful tonight.”

  Jessie had opted to keep Gabe’s true occupation to herself. There was no sense worrying Harmony more than she already was. She wondered if she’d have to wait long for Gabe to show up.

  Turns out he was waiting for her.

  “Who was the goon that came to drag you out of Memphis Blues the other night?” he frowned at her as she eased into the chair across from him.

  “My brother,” she motioned for the waitress to bring her a beer as she spoke. “And hello to you, too.”

  “Your brother?” he took a drink of his own beer, seemingly considering his next words. “I doubt that. Are you okay?”

  “Yeah,” she shrugged a little. “My brother covered for me with Daddy, so I didn’t get grounded or anything.”

  “Right,” the way he drew the word out spoke volumes. They were silent for a moment, both seeming to consider the lone singer on the stage. Jessie’d seen him around before. He was a young, good looking guy who appeared to be at least a little tipsy. The line of empty Corona bottles behind him seemed to back that assessment. Still, he was talented and his laid-back demeanor fit the sea-shanty feel of the place. Well, sea-shanty with a White Castle as its closest neighbor.

  “So, tell me about being a teacher. That must be fascinating. What grade do you teach?” Jessie drew her gaze away from the yellow, pink and green lights running along the rafters to look Gabe in the eye.

  “There’s not much to tell.”

  “What district do you work in?”

  “You’re awfully inquisitive tonight.”

  “I just find teaching such a fascinating subject. You know, I’ve often considered myself a teacher of sorts.”

  Gabe choked on his beer and Jessie smiled behind her bottle as she took another swig.

  “I thought you were in customer service,” he recovered nicely, his eyes locked on the graffiti art covering the benches lining the walls.

  “You can offer exceptional service and teach someone at the same time,” Jessie primly informed him.

  “I’ll have to remember that,” he said once he’d composed himself a second time. This time, his eyes held hers.

  The waitress brought Gabe another beer and took their order. Jessie was grateful for the distraction. She studied the trees peeking through the open rafter ceiling for a moment.

  She loved this place, with its rickety tables and walls that were a mixture of wooden planks, stone and brick. She loved that people freely signed their names on the benches and walls. Some of the artwork was really quite good.

  Someone at the bar was smoking a cigar and it gave the room a cherry wood smell. A breeze licked her skin, promising a summer storm before the night was over. Conversation resumed but stayed light as they shared a bowl of gumbo. She imagined it was what gumbo tasted like in New Orleans.

  “Come on,” Jessie stood, grabbing his hand to tug him along behind her after they’d finished their dinner.

  “Where are we going?”

  Jessie’s only answer was a wicked little grin before pulling him to her, their bodies instinctively moving to the music.

  “We’re the only ones on the dance floor. I don’t know that we’re supposed to do this.”

  “He doesn’t mind.”

  “How do you know?” he seemed skeptical.

  “Excuse me,” she leaned against the stage, immediately capturing the singer’s attention, “Do you mind if this gentleman and I dance right here?”

  “I’d love for you to dance, sugar,” he answered into the microphone. “I know just the song.”

  “You’re my hero,” Jessie gave Gabe a look that smacked of “told you so.”

  And just like that, the music shifted to a slower pace. The new beat demanded her body’s attention. It tugged and pushed and pulled like an unseen puppeteer and she took Gabe on the ride with her.

  He seemed to have forgotten being self-conscious. The look on his face said he wanted to devour Jessie. Whatever his mind had planned for her, his body was completely malleable to her will at the moment.

  What Jessie hadn’t expected was how her own body hummed at his touch. Every nerve ending was on alert.

  Harmony once told her that when lightning strikes, not only does a current come from the storm, but streamers from objects on the ground actually extend up, attracted by the current. When the charge from the storm meets the streamer on the ground, you have a lightning strike.

  She felt like her whole body was one big network of streamers. If they connected right now, she imagined it would feel about like being struck by lightning.

  Before she could let herself get carried away any further, she leaned close to his ear, his rough cheek brushing her own smooth one as she whispered, “I think I’ve figured out what kind of teacher you are… Social Studies.”

  “Is that so? What makes you say that?”

  “I can picture you teaching eager young minds all about things like the justice system. And I’m sure you’re the kind of thorough teacher who would be sure to cover the lesser-known facts. Like the entire Miranda statement—not just the ‘right to remain silent’ stuff you see on T.V.”

  “Of course,” he played along.

  “I bet you’d also explain to your students about the difference between a sting operation and entrapment.”

  “A must-know for eager young minds these days.”

  “I bet that lecture is a real crowd pleaser,” Jessie stilled, her eyes meeting his. She’d meant to level the man. Instead, she found herself appallingly close to kissing him again. Or crying. Both felt like a distinct possibility at the moment. />
  They stood frozen in place, a breath away from each other and afraid to move in either direction. A war waged within. She took some amount of comfort from the fact that he seemed to be struggling as much as she.

  “So… where do we go from here?” he spoke so close to her skin she could feel his words more than she heard them.

  She licked her lips and took a steadying breath. “I have no idea.”

  “Me either.”

  They might as well have been the only two people in the room. Jessie was keenly aware of her crackling nerves and his every breath. The rest was a blur.

  “I think I need a drink,” his breath was jagged.

  “Me too.”

  The beer was warm, but it was wet and that was half the battle. Even better, it was something to do that wouldn’t get her into trouble.

  It didn’t seem like the place or time for the kind of talk they needed to have. They sat in silence, letting the music wash over them as they regarded each other. He would occasionally take a breath as if to speak, but would invariably shake his head and sink back into silence.

  Jessie’s lip twitched ever-so-slightly.

  “What?” he demanded.

  “Nothing,” she held her hands up. “Not a thing.”

  “Then stop looking like you want to laugh at me,” he admonished before a chuckle of his own escaped.

  “Not at you, necessarily,” she promised as a giggle bubbled up. With one last look at each other, they gave up the battle and succumbed to their laughter. When Jessie finally caught her breath, she sat back and surveyed him—wishing she could read his mind as she tried to figure out where to go from there.

  “Looks like your friend is here,” Gabe nodded towards the street. Sure enough, Vance was striding towards the door with a scowl on his face.

  “They know who you are,” Jessie glanced around to see if the door by the stage was clear. “If my boss catches me here with you, he will kill one or both of us.”

  “He might try,” Gabe seemed all-too-ready for the challenge.

  “Whatever, tough guy. I’m not sticking around while you two check to see whose is bigger.”