by welcome
Chandra around, she felt at ease, but as she reached the hedge of the haloed spot, she
became uneasy.
„Is he lurking in the corner?" she thought suspiciously. „Maybe, his gesture could be a
ruse to lure me here. How can one be sure when it comes to men out to woo women?"
However, reconnoitering the area and finding it vacant, she entered the arena.
„How wicked of me to attribute motives to an unknown soul," she felt remorseful. „But
then, how am I to fault myself for doubting human nature after all that? Well, once bitten
twice shy, isn"t it? But won"t he appear naïve and considerate even?"
As the kind feelings she experienced for the stranger affected her own embitterment,
she found nursing them in myriad ways. And discerning the changes on the skyline the
setting sun brought in, she could sense the turnaround of her feelings ushered in by the
feeble impulse of his goodwill. And, when it was getting dark, feeling lighter, she pulled
herself to go. All the while she walked on the pathway with circumspection though in
vague anticipation. But, as she reached the gates, her mood turned into one of despair.
Chandra that day, as though to get an overview of his position, went to the nearby Tank
Bund instead. Sitting on a bench facing the Hussainsagar, all evening he was engrossed
envisaging Nithya"s condition.
„Had we met here, would the tank bund have acted as a bridge between our hearts?" he
thought, alluding to the symbolism.
Thus, pleased with the idea itself, he recalled the five-century old romance of Quli
Qutub Shah and Bhagmathi that had led to the founding of the city. And, he began to
daydream, feeling that the coincidence of his idea might portend a good omen. But, by the
time it was dusk, he was disturbed by the swelling crowd as well as distracted by the noisy
traffic. When he could bear it no longer, he headed home.
„Am I not trying to pull the mountain of love with a thread of hope?" he thought on his
way. „Come to think of it, she hasn"t even given me any scope for hoping! After all, it"s my
idea to induce her to think about me. Well, if I were to win her love, won"t occupying her
mind be the prelude? Or is it just wishful thinking?"
As doubts about the theories of seduction he"d read about crisscrossed his mind thick
and fast, he saw the futility of putting them in practice.
„Oh, how she haunts me," he thought all over again. „Let me be content seeing her, at
least, to my heart"s content. Damn the theories of crystallization of love. I would love to see
her, no more of this self-exile for me. How stupid I was to have missed the pleasure of
seeing her today in the misplaced hope of possessing her one day."
Yet, he couldn"t desist from reviewing the ways and means to make her his wife. Long
into the night, and exasperated at the end, he remained where he began, in the tunnel of
confusion.
„Can love ever be prototyped for production?" he wondered. „Is there any foolproof
blueprint for that? The impulse of love seems to have a streak of irrationality in it. If not,
how could I have fallen for her knowing that all my love may not be worth a damn for her!
Since love is blind, looks like it loses its way for the most part. Won"t it seem love is a silly
emotion besides being an obsessive sentiment? Oh, where would my obsession for her lead
me to? Let me see."
That night he felt his love was too dear to his soul to be left to his beloved"s caprice.
Hence, he set out to think about the ways and means of bringing her around to the altar. In
the end, he felt he needed to be bold and forthright with her. But as he recalled the fiasco of
his dashing move of yore, he was apprehensive about the intended advance. Nevertheless,
he decided to proceed for want of a better move and try his luck just the same.
As planned, the next evening he reached the park and headed straight to the spot in
anticipation. But, on reaching the hedge, his legs became logs. Nithya, who saw him thus,
stood in apprehension. But as the attraction he felt for her propelled him over the hurdle of
his hesitation, he lunged into the nook in a fit of emotion.
“I want to tell you,” he blurted out.
“So you broke your promise?” she said, a little puzzled.
“I couldn"t help from coming,” he said in regret tinged with hope, “I came in spite of
myself.”
“What for?” she responded involuntarily, looking up.
“To live,” he said lovingly as his love-filled heart pumped in every ounce of affection he
nursed in it into his vocal cords for him to touch the right chord.
“I don"t get you,” she said, touched as she was by his emotion.
“I"m in love with you,” he said, as she lowered her eyes.
She was shocked to hear what she already knew.
“I"m desperate for you,” he continued. “I"m dying to make you my wife. I shall cherish
you with all my heart, all my life.”
She looked at him in bewilderment.
“Believe me,” he said.
“What"s this!” she said in vexation. “Is it fair to impose yourself like this?”
“I couldn"t help it,” he continued as if in a trance. “My life depends on your decision.”
“Don"t be mad.”
“I"ve become insane really,” he said in desperation.
Unable to confound her situation, as she left the place in confusion, he sank to his knees
in dejection.
„Oh God, why this fate?" he bemoaned. „Why did I allow myself to demean my love?
And scandalize her, whom I love! I"ve lost my head too. It"s unfair of me to have pressured
her with my sentiment. What"s worse, I"ve lost my face. It"s a shame."
As though his remorse consumed his soul, he lay like a corpse on the lawn.
Dilemma of Disclosure
While Chandra lay there snubbed, Nithya walked away in consternation.
„What madness!" she thought in vexation. „And who is he by the way? Poor chap, he
seems to be suffering. But how can I help him? Am I not bellyful with trouble already? I"m
more in need of help than anyone I can think of."
As she walked aimlessly, she insensibly focused her thoughts on Chandra.
„Since he loves me," the stray thought snowballed into a solution for her problem, „won"t
he help me?"
Weighing the pros and cons, she reinvigorated herself and reversed her direction. And
as she returned to the nook, she found him lying like a corpse.
“Excuse me,” she said sweetly.
“I apologize,” he gesticulated even as he sprang up to his feet.
“I know love is no blame,” she said with empathy. “But I"m sorry that I can"t
reciprocate.”
“It is my fault really," he said in reconciliation. “I got carried away.”
“If you like,” she said invitingly, “we can be friends.”
“If only I"m not in love with you,” he said with mixed feelings, “I would"ve grabbed
your friendly hand with both hands. Now, I"m afraid I can"t be content being just your
friend.”
“I appreciate your frankness,” she said admiring his admission. “What I need now is a
friend more than a lover. Good bye.”
Seeing her depart in disappointment, he felt dejected.
„How mean I refused to be her friend," he thought in dejection, „Of what avail my love if
it fails to provide s
uccor to my beloved! Shameful, isn"t it? I shall stake everything for her
sake."
And he ran up to her in love.
“Forgive your friend,” he said extending his hand.
“Oh, thank you,” she said grabbing his hand.
“I'll forever remain your friend in need,” he said pressing her hand.
“I need your help,” she said lowering her eyes, “right now.”
“Tell me then,” he said, shaking her hand. “I'll do my best.”
“Oh, I"m relieved really,” she said as it showed on her face. “But still I need time to
think how to talk about that odd errand. Will you please come tomorrow?”
“Same time if you please.”
“Let"s make it by four,” she said.
“Bye,” he waved her goodbye.
“Thank you, bye,” she said and walked away in relief even as he watched her with love.
„Oh, how he invokes sympathy with his empathy!" Nithya thought on her way back
home. „And he"s so agreeable. But how come I was so rude to him? Anyway, I"ll make up
for that now, won"t I? See we haven"t even introduced ourselves in that confusion? Unlike
Vasu, hope he would be true to his word."
Chandra, on the other hand, went back to the nook as though to commemorate their
reconciliation.
„How nice it feels to be close to her," he felt ecstatic. „What a joy it is really. What"s that
she seeks from me! Weird are the ways of life, aren"t they? If not for her predicament, she
wouldn"t have had a second look at me, leave alone seeking my friendship. Who knows if I
could solve her problem, I may even win her affection. After all, won"t friendship between
man and woman lead to love?
That night, while Nithya sank into sleep in relief, Chandra hit the pillow
daydreaming.
Waking up early the next day, as though to welcome a new dawn in their lives, they
both remained tentative thinking about the outcome of their expected meeting. But as the
time neared for the rendezvous while Chandra was beset by doubts, Nithya was seized
with shame.
„What if she develops second thoughts?" he was haunted by the thought.
„How to tell him?" she racked her brains no end.
Wearied at last, while he left the issue for his fate to decide, unable to hit upon the right
presentation, she decided to entrust the matter to her instinct itself. However, in the end,
driven by desire, as he reached the nook, he found her in all anticipation.
“Oh, sorry,” he said, sitting beside her, “I"ve kept you waiting.”
“You"re not late,” she said checking with her watch, “but I came early.”
„It is funny really," he thought aloud. „We"re friends without knowing who we are!"
“I"m Nithya.”
“I like your name,” he said. “I"m Chandra.”
“Inspiring name, isn"t it?”
“Not so if you go by my namesake who wavers in the skies.”
“Then it"s wise,” she said smiling, “to take your word before he arrives.”
“You"re a real wit,” he said in all admiration.
“Do you lack any?” she returned the compliment.
“Hope to hope.”
“Maybe for now, who knows?”
“And for now I"m at your service,” he said squatting in all attention.
“I badly need your help as I told you,” she said in embarrassment. “But I don"t know
what to tell and where to begin. And it"s a delicate matter too. I am at a loss how to handle
it.”
“Begin from your adolescence,” he suggested. “Though childhood would"ve a bearing
on it, life really starts at that point.”
“That"s true,” she said as though he showed her the way to lead her story. “Besides
helping you to get a total picture of me, it would give me time before I come to the point.
Here is the embarrassing account of my life.”
Perils of Youth
Nithya matured at nine, a little early, even for the Indian clime. More than the biological
change, it was the cultural fuss the happening heralds that made her conscious of her
altered persona.
She felt as though the oni on her bosom robbed her off her personal freedom. The
custom that pulled her out of the child circuit and at the same time denied her admission
into the Venus Club, left her clueless about her own identity. Nevertheless, the imperatives
of her sensuality and the male proclivities to her sexuality began confounding her. In all
that, her sex education was limited to the thumb rules her mother happened to dish out to
her.
With the passage of time, as nature perfected the female in her, her frame acquired the
womanly graces and her manner imbibed the feminine nuances. However, privy to her
own attributes, as her impulses courted curiosity for company; she began to grasp the
singularity of her sex appeal from the body language of the enamored males. Soon, her
vanity goaded her to explore the nuances of male desire from the emanations of her
admirers. Besides, while her compelling looks ensured the adoration of her parents, her
application of mind evoked the admiration of her teachers. Thus, pleased with herself, she
acquired the poise of a princess.
But, she didn"t come across her prince charming, though she was through with her
studies. The campus culture that didn"t mix the sexes in the college and the parents who
forbade dating ensured that. Nevertheless, as she got her degree in humanities, her father
went out of his way in search of a suitable match for her. After all, marriages had to be
arranged affairs and the dowry was a determining as well as a deterring factor in the real
time matchmaking. But as her father was hard up to cough up dowry, Nithya"s prospective
nuptial was slow in materializing. Just the same, the talk of it that was thick in the air gave
wings to her amorous inclinations. However, as the eagerness in her mind and the lethargy
on the ground mismatched, the moment of her cherished conjugation remained in the
realms of her dreams.
It was at that juncture that her destiny seemed to ordain an apparently agreeable route
to the sought-after altar. All those years, her father had put the outhouse on hold lest any
man in the garb of a tenant should dabble with the virginity of his desirable daughters.
What with the elder three happily married by then, and Nithya, the last one, on the verge of
it, the idea to let it out took hold of him all again. And abetted by his wife, who averred that
it could be even a solution to Nithya's marriage, if only they took in the right tenant after
proper screening, he tied the „To Let" board to the gate of their
AC Guards" house. Though that brought in the interested in numbers but for want of a
hard knock from a bachelor with the right resume, the board began to lose its sheen.
It was into that setting that Vasu entered when Nithya was all alone at home that
evening.
“What do you want?” she asked, opening the door to a stunned Vasu.
He directed her questioning look towards the „To Let" board though without taking his
eyes off her.
“My father is not at home,” she said, equally enamored of him.
“Can I see the place?” he asked, sensing his opportunity.
“You can, but.. .”
“Show me then,” he persisted.
“But it"s not I who decide.”
“I"m sure,” he sa
id enticingly, “you can surely put in a word.”
She blushed for a reply.
“When can I come back?”
“After my father is back,” she said, regaining herself.
“How am I to know that?” he said with a smile. “I"ll be back soon.”
“Welcome,” she said, a little embarrassed, “but I"m sorry.”
“Never mind,” he said enticingly. “May I know your name?”
“I"m Nithya.”
“I"m Vasu,” he said smiling, “you"ve a nice name.”
“Thank you,” she too smiled.
“Do expect me,” he said as he took the road.
Drawn by attraction, she went up to the gate, and he, in anticipation, looked back at her.
As that facilitated their eye contact, while she withdrew herself in embarrassment, thinking
about the possibilities, he left elated.
„A man for dreams," felt Nithya trying to relive the moment.
„A dame of a game," thought Vasu sardonically.
When he came back, while shyness kept her away from him, her desire let her
daydream in anticipation. And when he got the nod from her parents, she felt elated.
“He"s of our ilk,” said her mother meaningfully. “Moreover, he"s handsome and holds a
decent position. Didn"t he say he"s an officer at some bank? It"s a match that would floor
anyone. Isn"t that so?”
While the mother placed the cart before the horse, the seed of her daughter"s infatuation
got embedded in the soil of expectation. And to the delight of all, the following Sunday,
Vasu occupied the outhouse.
“What if we invite him for lunch?” proposed her father.
“Why not?” said her mother. “It will make a welcome gesture.”
It was at the dining table that Nithya was formally introduced to Vasu.
“Nithya cooks deliciously,” said her mother, inviting him to have a go at the
preparations. “You can check it for yourself.”
“Then,” he began eating, mocking greed, “I"ve got a job on hand.”
“In that case,” said Nithya getting up in jest, “better I get back to the kitchen.”
“Honestly, you"re marvelous,” he paused, with a morsel in his mouth, “cook, indeed.”
“Thank you,” she said, serving him some more sambaar.
“It"s the other way round,” he said looking into her eyes.
