Bloodmark

by Aurora Whittet

  “What is it?” Grey said.

  “The Bloodsucker,” Mund replied.

  Grey looked confused and worried. I remembered what they had said about the Bloodsucker killing a wolf to trap the others. Was this a trap? As scared as I was, Grey looked worse. His face was pale, and his palms began to sweat.

  Baran leapt into the living room as a giant salt-and-pepper gray wolf. He was a dire wolf, alpha in every sense of the word despite his current position as a nomad. Robert lunged in after Baran with a large silver blade, barely missing Baran’s back leg. Baran snarled at Robert and slowly backed up closer to us, keeping a cautious distance between Robert and us. Robert’s expression changed from enjoyment to rage when he finally saw his son. I could only stare at his silver blade; one prick of our skin would make us temporarily mortal. Fear crept through me as I finally realized it was Robert’s scent that I had smelled that day on Baran. Only it hadn’t registered as Grey’s father then . . . but there was no doubt that Robert was a Bloodsucker.

  “Get out,” Mund said to Robert.

  The authority rang off each word Mund spoke, but Robert didn’t move. He stared from me to Grey and back again. Neither Mund nor Baran seemed to notice the difference in Grey, but he was motionless in his father’s presence.

  I was sure Robert recognized me from the forest, and he had concluded that the shoes left in his son’s room were mine. He was the Bloodsucker and Grey was his son. Dread filled my mind, slowing my reactions.

  His father was a murderer, his mother the victim. That was what Baran couldn’t say earlier. I could feel the truth vibrating in the air. Robert was bred to kill our kind. It was his sole purpose on this earth, and his son was my love and my executioner.

  “Grey, what are you doing here?” Robert said.

  Mund finally realized the situation. He was desperate to pull me away from Grey’s side; I could see it in his eyes. But he didn’t dare move and give Robert a chance to attack Baran. It was all happening so fast. I didn’t know how to make it stop.

  Grey held my hand tightly, straightened his posture, and he faced his father.

  Robert choked back a twisted laugh. “Do you realize what she is?!”

  “I love her.”

  “You can’t love a filthy dog.” Robert spat out the words.

  “I love her,” Grey repeated.

  “It’s time for you to leave,” Mund said to Robert.

  “Not without my son,” he said, his words cutting.

  “I’m staying with Ashling,” Grey said.

  “They are nothing more than a pack of wild dogs! Infesting the human race with their disease!”

  Grey didn’t respond. He stood his ground next to me, intertwining our fingers, holding my hand firmly with his. Mund looked as though he were about to rip out of his skin to silence Robert, but one movement from him could set off events with consequences we hadn’t even imagined.

  “You listen to me, boy—if you stay here, you renounce everything your mother stood for. You will shame her life,” Robert said.

  Grey hung his head in disgrace. He actually believed the heinous words that came from Robert’s evil mouth.

  “Your mother died to protect you from this filth,” Robert said.

  Baran growled and snapped at Robert, and I could feel his bitter rage at Robert’s lies. Grey wasn’t looking at anyone, his eyes cast to the floor. I felt desperate. After several long seconds, he said, “I’m sorry, Ashling.” Before anyone could say anything else or look at anyone, he was gone; the love of my life turned and walked out the door without even giving me a second glance. In one moment, everything changed. The shoes fell from my hand, clattering on the floor. My cold, empty hand ached for his touch. One simple lie destroyed everything.

  14

  Fake It

  The sobs came from somewhere deep inside. I fell to the floor, unable to hold myself up. Baran lunged at Robert, chasing him out through the back door. But Mund stood guard by my side; he needn’t have, there was nothing left. No reason to breathe. Grey was gone, and I was empty. Each breath my body took cut my soul. I couldn’t move; I just lay there on the floor, tears streaming down my face.

  I cried so hard, I started to gag. I wanted to die. I never wanted to feel again. This was the worst pain I could endure. Wasn’t I good enough to love?

  I smelled Baran return, but I couldn’t see him through my tears. I only heard murmurs of their conversation. I wondered if he caught Robert. Would Baran hurt Grey? The thoughts tore me apart—loyalty to my family, or to my love for Grey? Was this really the choice Grey had made? The deep, unrelenting pain in my heart thickened and slowed with each beat.

  “I want to die. . . .” I said, barely a whisper.

  “No, Ash,” Mund said.

  “I can’t live without him.”

  “You can and you will,” Baran said.

  “He made me feel like a princess,” I cried.

  “You are a princess,” Mund said, smoothing my hair out of my face. “You don’t need him to make you feel anything.”

  But he was wrong, I did need Grey. I had never lived before I knew Grey—he was my match and I was his.

  “I knew he couldn’t be trusted. He’s a murderer,” Mund said.

  “I should have known better,” Baran said. “I knew something was wrong with Robert, but I didn’t want to see what it was. I was too busy trying to be Grey’s friend to see him clearly. And then he was so different with Ashling. I thought she had brought him to life, but I overlooked the obvious danger.”

  Like a jolt of lightning, my body suddenly heaved under pressure, and a small whimper escaped my lips. Grey. Someone had struck him across the face, but my face stung from the pain. I doubled over from the overwhelming feelings. His emotions were changing quickly. More intense than my own feelings in my own body, his took over every cell, consuming me.

  Mund was at my side. “What is it? Are you alright?”

  “No . . . no. It’s nothing,” I said. But it was something. Something was wrong with Grey. I felt his emotions shift quickly, and his anger pulsed through my veins. My face still stung from the impact. “I’m going to lie down,” I said, excusing myself to my room. I felt sick to my stomach. Grey’s father was beating him—punishment for being with me. Why could I feel him so strongly now, when I couldn’t before? Why, now that he had chosen to not be with me?

  I gasped for air on the cold floor of my room. Every assault on Grey’s body registered pain on mine. My ribs felt bruised and my face felt swollen, but no visible wounds showed on my skin. Every pain, every impact, every nauseating blow, was mine to endure. He didn’t fight back, I could feel it. He just took the punishment upon himself. His sorrow rippled through me. I crawled to the window seat, resting my tear-drenched face on the cushion, gasping for air, waiting for the pain to stop. “Grey . . .” I whispered.

  How could he leave me? Only to be beaten? He had betrayed me. He betrayed me for the love of his mother, I reminded myself. Robert had lied to him, but Grey had still made his choice. I couldn’t tell him his own father was nothing more than a liar. He had to figure it out for himself. I couldn’t force him to love me, even if I wanted to.

  It didn’t make sense that I could feel actual physical pain through Grey. Neither Baran nor Mund mentioned physical pain from being connected like this. Only emotions. We hadn’t finished binding, but I could feel what he felt deep in my bones. His father was punishing him for loving me, and I hated Robert for it.

  A shadow moved outside, hiding among the trees, just out of sight. Whatever it was, it wasn’t about to show itself, and I was in no mood for games. I shakily stood up, opening the window. “GO AWAY,” I cried to the moon.

  When I looked back, the shadow was gone.

  Baran and Mund burst into my room, questions shooting out of their mouths faster than I could process in my broken state. Blinking back the tears, I crumbled to the floor in the fetal position, weeping. I felt Mund scoop me up, and he hummed mother’s lullaby
as he rocked me back and forth like a child. My entire body felt lifeless in his arms, and my stomach recoiled from the nausea.

  “I can feel him,” I said.

  “The emotional connection comes quickly for some bonded pairs,” Baran said.

  “No. I feel what he feels.”

  “You’re feeling the emotions he’s feeling. It can be very overwhelming at first,” Mund replied.

  “You don’t understand. I felt him being beaten. I felt every hit, every blow. I felt it.”

  “What?” Mund said. “It’s impossible.”

  “Nothing is impossible with Ashling, is it?” Baran shrugged.

  “It’s never happened before, not that I know of,” Mund said.

  “Our little Ashling transcends all reason, realms, and realities.”

  I floated in and out of their conversation. I heard them say horrible things about Grey and his father, but I was too numb to respond. Mund even suggested leaving Maine to seek refuge somewhere else. Had I the will, I would have refused, instead I cried myself to sleep.

  My tears spilled over my cheeks, and the floor shined like glitter. I ran my finger into the surface of the dark liquid. It was warm as it pooled around my fingertip. It was so beautiful, but what was it? I lift my hand up to inspect the shiny substance that covered my hand, and I quickly realized it was blood. It was all around me. Red and glistening in the tiny bit of light from the open doorway. Was it my blood? My body shook with fear.

  “Ashling, Ashling, shhh now. It’s all right. I’m here,” Baran said as he crushed my limp body into his hard chest. The dream felt real, and the tears were still on my face, but was it a dream, or was it a warning? I gagged air into my lungs as I cried.

  “Ylva, my little she-wolf, I’m right here,” he leaned down and kissed the top of my head.

  The sun was bright; it was midday. How long had I been asleep? Had Baran been sitting next to me, watching me dream? Watching the tears seep from my sleeping eyes and the pain ripple through my helpless body? I wonder if he thought I would perish from this earth in front of his eyes.

  I tried to speak, but my throat was raw.

  Baran said, “Take it slow. I’ll go get you some water.”

  He was back before I pulled myself up to sit. He carefully held the cup at my lips and let me drink. Mund burst into my room with Quinn on his heels.

  “Ash!” Mund said, running to my side. He crushed me in a hug.

  “Ashling,” Quinn said softly. “It’s so good to see you.”

  Tegan waddled in with Gwyn’s assistance. The baby must have been due any day—even nine months pregnant, she almost glowed. Had the rest of the family come? I desperately hoped Mother had come. I wondered what she would say about this life of mine. I watched the doorway, but she didn’t show.

  They must have all hated me for needing them to leave their lives and come here to take care of me—an emotionally broken teenage werewolf who found the only human who wasn’t only half wolf but half Bloodsucker as well. That sort of tragedy bordered on absurdity. Now that I was back with the living, they could all go home. They shouldn’t have had to been here to see my failures. I had managed to destroy a lot of lives, including my own.

  Tegan sat on the edge of the bed, smiling at me. “Hi, Ashie,” she said.

  “Hi,” I choked.

  “It’s good to see you. I’ve missed you.” Her voice was so sweet, like songbirds chirping. “I wanted you to be with me when the baby comes. Since you couldn’t come to us, we came to you.” I touched my hand to her stomach, and the baby kicked.

  “Did you feel that?” she asked. She smiled so beautifully, the joy was clear on her face. She would be a wonderful mother.

  I had to be strong for her. I wouldn’t cry anymore. I would hide my emotions from them and carry on. Eventually the pain would numb. I couldn’t let Grey see me like this either. I couldn’t let him see how he had broken my heart. This pain was mine. I had to put myself back together, for everyone, but most of all for myself. Grey had made his choice, and I had to respect that. It was his choice to make. I promised him I would let him go if he chose, even if it killed me. And I knew I should try to find the wolf Calista wrote about . . . maybe there was another love for me. Or at least the partner I was meant for. But how could I ever love another?

  “Ashie, do you want Gwyn and me to help you clean up?” Tegan asked.

  “No. I can manage,” I said, slowly climbing out of the bed, but a wave of nausea made me dizzy. Gwyn wrapped her strong arm around my shoulders and helped me walk to the bathroom without a word. I hardly knew Gwyn. She visited us at the cliffs only a handful of times, but she didn’t know me. Still, she was here, helping me.

  “Thank you,” I said, “I can take it from here.” I gave Gwyn a weak smile and closed the bathroom door after her. I stared at the disheveled girl in the mirror—I looked like hell. My hair was matted and knotted together. I looked gross and worn out. I hated how low I had let myself sink, but I felt helpless to change it.

  Tears streamed down my face, but I muffled my cries with my hands so the others wouldn’t hear my pathetic pain. I climbed into the shower still wearing my dress and sat down, letting the water run over my face. I rocked back and forth as I cried. The faces of everyone I had disappointed ran through my head. I was a burden. Nothing had changed; I was still the same outcast on the edge of Ireland.

  “Ashie,” Tegan said, entering and shutting the door behind her. “Sorry to intrude on your space, dearie, but I thought you might need a friend right now.” She sat on the edge of the tub, getting her beautiful silver dress wet. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders, holding me tight. I rested my head on her knees as she cried with me.

  I don’t know how long we stayed like that before she finally let go and started washing my hair, then shut off the water that had grown cold. She grabbed a towel and wrapped it around me.

  “I promise not to tell the others I saw you cry,” she said, squeezing my hand. “I know it hurts, and I can’t say it will go away. But I know you’re strong enough to survive it.”

  “Thank you,” I said.

  “Come on. Let’s get ourselves dried off.”

  She picked out my clothes and left me to change. She quickly returned and sat on the foot of my bed, studying me. I was embarrassed for her to see me this way.

  “I wish I could join the school with you, but I can’t with the baby due any day, and I need Gwyn here with me until the baby comes. Mund insisted Quinn also stay home, but Quinn, Gwyn, and I will be here waiting for you every day. We could try to switch you out of your classes with Grey, if you want?” she said.

  “No.” The idea of never seeing Grey again hurt nearly as much as having to torture myself by being near him. “Tegan?”

  “Yes, dearest?”

  “Do you think he still loves me?” I asked, looking up into her bright, extraordinarily blue eyes.

  She smiled back at me. “Ashie, I know he still loves you.”

  “How do you know?”

  “I just do. You’ve never seen yourself the way everyone else sees you. I’ve watched you for many years as you’ve grown. You don’t see how everyone adores you.”

  “Everyone hates me.”

  “They don’t hate you. You have to understand; we are stuck in a very old, traditional world. And you and I are different from them, because we don’t want to just stand still and look pretty. You are powerful and a dreamer. They just don’t understand you yet. Someday, you will see what you really are and what the rest of us see in you.”

  I didn’t really believe her; I didn’t see any strength in myself, only weakness. I was too weak to resist Grey, too weak to fight Adomnan. I would always be the weak one in my family.

  “Thanks, Tegan.” My reply was halfhearted, but I did appreciate her unending love.

  “Do you want to go to school tomorrow?”

  “I’m ready.”

  “Okay. Get some rest, and I’ll help you get ready in the morning
,” she said and left the room, leaving me alone with my haunted thoughts.

  I didn’t move. I just sat there watching the clouds float by. I had let everyone down, but I kept thinking the same thought over and over again. I love Grey. He was all I could think about.

  I was such a selfish fake.

  Nightfall came, and I wrapped myself in a blanket and leaned my head against the cold windowpane. A shadow moved in the tree line again. Whatever or whomever it was, it had returned. It had to know I could see it, but why then did it not come for me? Why wait? I was here for the taking. There was no fight left in me. But it only watched. And so did I.

  It never came out of the shadows. All night long, I waited, as did the creature in the shadows. We just watched each other as if we were participating in a never-ending staring contest. There was something comforting about its presence. My own personal stalker, lucky me.

  Tegan helped me get ready for school the next morning. She styled my hair and gave my face the perfect natural glow. She handed me a simple dark-denim strapless dress and my brown boots.

  “It’s getting colder out,” she said, handing me a cropped green sweater. “Mund will be there all day with you. If you don’t feel right, you can come home sick. I’ll be here.”

  “Thanks, Tegan,” I said, forcing a smile for her.

  We walked into the kitchen, where everyone waited. They looked as though they were afraid to move or that I may break, but I wouldn’t. Not in front of anyone. I could survive this, Tegan said so. Forcing another fake smile for them, I walked over to Mund. “Ready?” I asked.

  “Good morning, Ashling,” Baran said. He looked as sad as I felt. “I think it is time you have a car of your own,” he said, handing me a set of keys.

  “It’s in the driveway,” Quinn said.

  That was my cue to go look out the window and be excited. So I did, for their sake. In the driveway sat a vintage 1965 Ford Mustang in poppy red. It was the car I had always dreamed of. I had a picture of it on my wall back home. Any other day, I would have truly been excited, but today I gave him all I could muster.