by Sara Daniell
“You’re avoiding my question. Why?”
“Why does your last name sound a lot like the town we live in? Some things just don’t have to be answered, Finn. My line is starting to get full. You need to leave.”
He raised a brow and had a humorous grin on his face. It infuriated me that he found this funny.
“I thought you were smarter than that, Elena. My great-great-great-grandparents founded this town and it’s common logic that they add ‘ville’ to the end of one’s last name when a town is named after someone. So, now that I answered your question, answer mine.”
“Bye, Finn.” I rolled my eyes.
“I’m going to get you to be friends with me, Elena Johnson. Just you wait and see. Challenge accepted.”
“Please, Finn. Stop. I’m at work, and this is embarrassing.”
His friend chuckled. “Come on. We’ll catch up with her later.”
“Please, don’t,” I said, narrowing my eyes at his friend.
“We’ll see.” Finn smiled, and he and his friend walked out of the store.
I apologized to the next person in line and kept working.
I GOT OUT TO my car and had just put my purse and apron in the backseat when I heard a truck pull up beside me. I looked over my shoulder and saw Finn and the same friend from earlier.
“You’re relentless,” I mumbled. I grabbed my blue and white plaid shirt and put my arms in the sleeves. I adjusted the shirt onto my shoulders and then shut my door. I leaned against it, looking up at Finn in his truck with his window down.
“Get in.”
“What? No! I’m meeting Jane at her house. I need to leave. Do I need to spell this out for you? I’m not interested in being your—”
“I talked to Jane,” he said, interrupting me. “She was at the Stump for a little while. I told her I’d be picking you up.” His smile was so huge that I was sure his face would get stuck that way.
“There’s no way she’d believe that. She would’ve texted me.” I pulled my phone from my back pocket and chewed on my bottom lip when I saw that she did, in fact, text me.
Jane: You’re actually letting Finn pick you up? Wow. I’m down for more than just us at the movie. See you soon. :)
I looked up from my phone at a cheesing Finn. “I can still decline, ya’ know?”
“But do you want to?” He smiled knowingly.
Do you have to be so good looking?
I rubbed my forehead and sighed. As badly as I wanted to keep my friends to a minimum, Finn sure was wasting a lot of time trying to be friends with me. Maybe I should give this guy a chance. Being friends wouldn’t hurt. Jane seemed to think highly of him. Or maybe if I gave him a few hours of my time, he’d finally leave me alone because he’d see that I wasn’t really that fun to be around anyway.
I looked at him. “Fiiine. But this doesn’t mean I like you or even want to be friends with you. Consider this a trial period.” I climbed into the backseat of his truck and put on my seatbelt.
“I can do a trial run. But I have to warn you, I’m pretty amazing, and you’ll be sorry you weren’t friends with me sooner.”
I rolled my eyes. “So, what’s your friend’s name?” I asked, looking at his friend with the curly hair that was sticking out of his ball cap. He kind of reminded me of Dillon.
“Tryston Baker. He’s my Jane.”
I laughed. “Well, I’m glad you have a Jane. Janes are pretty amazing.”
Tryston turned in his seat to look at me. “How do you like it here so far?”
“It’s growing on me. It’s nice to meet you, Tryston.”
“Same to you.” Tryston turned back around in his seat and rolled his window down. He lit a cigarette.
Finn looked at me from his rearview mirror. “Do you smoke?” he asked.
“Only sometimes. Mainly when I drink.”
He chuckled.
“What?” I asked.
“I do the same thing,” he answered, his baby blues eyeing me in the mirror. He looked back at the road, and I cursed myself for wishing he’d look at me again. What was wrong with me? Why the hell did I have those thoughts? I facepalmed and groaned. This is exactly why I didn’t want to do this. My emotions and reactions to things were all out of whack. I couldn’t be trusted with my own decisions.
“Are you okay back there?” Finn asked.
“Just peachy,” I mumbled.
I looked out the window. What was it with Finn Kerr that had me so intrigued? I couldn’t stand to be near him, yet I wanted him around. I didn’t get it. I was worried that my feelings were coming from the weird vibes Finn was sending. He said he just wanted to be my friend, but he acted like he was expecting more. No guy in the history of ever had made this big of an attempt to just be friends with a girl. It made me nervous. I wasn’t ready for this. Whatever this was.
WE SAW 21 JUMP Street. It was hilarious. I don’t think I had laughed that hard in a long time, and I actually had fun. I sat between Jane and Tryston. Finn respectfully kept his distance and didn’t try to make any moves. Maybe his intentions were good, and he did just want to be friends.
We went to the 24-hour Taco Bell and sat down after we ordered our food. Finn insisted that he pay for mine, so I let him. It was a kind gesture, and after paying Dad my car payment and insurance, I was broke. Finn sat across from me. We both listened to Jane and Tryston reenact parts of the movie, and we all cracked up.
“So, what do you boys do for fun when it gets too cold for bonfires?” I asked, taking a drink.
Tryston looked at Finn to answer that. Finn shrugged. “It’s never too cold for bonfires. But we spend a lot of time in the woods hunting. We’re what you city people call rednecks.”
I laughed. “Oh. Isn’t hunting cruel?”
He and Tryston burst into laughter. I narrowed my eyes at Jane when she did too.
“Not when you eat your kill. It’s how people back in the day survived. And it’s fun.”
I scrunched my nose. “Fun?”
“Yeah,” Finn chuckled. “Have you ever shot a gun?”
I shook my head.
His eyes widened. “What! Oh, Ellie, you have to shoot a gun at least once in your life. I can teach you sometime.”
I looked at Jane, Tryston, and then at Finn. “I don’t know. That could be scary. Me with a gun?” I shuddered.
“That’s it. It’s decided. I’m taking you hunting, but before I do, you’re learning to shoot a gun.”
“Finn, I don’t—”
He cut me off. “You have no choice. I will drag you kicking and screaming if I have to.”
Jane nudged me. “It’s actually fun. I go with my dad sometimes. You should try it.”
I rolled my eyes and smiled. “Okay, fine. I guess it doesn’t hurt to at least try it. But I can’t promise I won’t cry if I end up killing something.”
Everyone laughed. Our order number was called out, and Finn and Tryston went to go get it. I looked at Jane, taking advantage of the few seconds I had her alone.
“I hope he doesn’t get the wrong idea about us. I like him, but I just like the idea of a new friend. No relationship.”
She smiled and patted my shoulder. “Calm down, Ellie. I talked to him, and he’s only looking for a friend too. He said he doesn’t see you in a girlfriend kind of way but that he wants to be your friend. Don’t think too much into this, okay?”
I nodded, but then my mouth fell into a frown. Friends. That’s all I wanted to be with him and maybe not even that. We were in a trial period. So, why was I sad that Finn didn’t think we could ever be more? That should make me happy. Instead, it crushed me a little.
IF YOU HAD ASKED me whether Finn and I would become good friends that first day of school, I would have laughed in your face. But we were. He admitted that he did kind of hate me at first when he found out I was from Fredericksburg, but the more he watched me, the more he saw that I wasn’t like the snotty girls from there. I didn’t tell him that before I gave up my pom-pom
s, I had been.
I looked over at Finn who was sitting next to me on the fence post at Tryston’s house. Tryston lived in the woods. Literally. He was countrier than country and proud of it.
“You ready to shoot?” Finn asked while we watched Tryston set up the cans on the tailgate of his truck.
“Should he really be putting them on there like that? I mean, what if I miss? I will shoot up his truck.”
“Look at his truck, Ellie. If you miss, it won’t matter.”
I burst into laughter as I looked at the rusty old thing. “Okay. Let’s do this.”
We hopped off the fence, and I didn’t know if there was anything more attractive than Finn in his jeans, hoodie, and ball cap, with his shotgun slung over his shoulder. I followed him to the spot he drew in the dirt marking where he wanted me to stand. I looked at him while he dug in his pockets for something.
He pulled out bright orange ear plugs and handed them to me. “You’ll want those. Trust me.”
I took them and listened while he explained the scope.
“You match up the cross arrows on the center of what you want to shoot. My gun shoots a little high, so you’ll want to make your center a bit lower. When you’re ready to shoot, click off the safety and pull the trigger. Make sense?”
I nodded. “I think so,” I said with little confidence. This was going to end badly.
He smiled. “When you’re done, put the safety back on,” he said, demonstrating how the safety button worked. “Then lower the gun and give it back to me. Whatever you do, don’t point it at anyone.”
“Awww, why not?” I asked in a teasing pout.
He shook his head and laughed. He handed me the gun after I put the earplugs in. Tryston and Finn both stepped back. I put the gun to my right shoulder and looked through the scope. I placed the cross arrows close to the bottom of the soda can and clicked off the safety. I took a deep breath, and when I exhaled, I pulled the trigger. It kicked so hard that it shoved my shoulder back a little, but I didn’t care when I saw that I’d hit the can, and it fell to the ground. It felt so good to have accomplished it, even if it really wasn’t a big deal. I put the gun back to my shoulder and proceeded to shoot all seven cans off his truck. After clicking the safety on and lowering the gun so that it was pointed at the ground, I turned and smiled proudly at Tryston and Finn.
“Holy shit, Ellie! You actually did it!” Finn was in shock. I think he was more excited than I was. “Were you shittin’ with us about never shooting a gun?”
“No! I swear!”
“Damn! Then that’s kind of amazing, Ellie!”
“I know, right? I can’t believe it, but it was actually easy! And fun!”
Finn came over and took the gun from me. “With more practice, you’ll be ready to try your hand at hunting.”
I shook my head. “No, I really don’t think I could shoot an innocent animal.”
“Why not? Do you eat meat?”
“Yeah.”
“Then, what’s the big deal? How do you think they get hamburger meat, chicken, pork chops, bacon, and—”
“Okay, geez.” I laughed. “I don’t want to be the one to kill an animal, though.”
“You’re being dramatic. Promise me you’ll just try?”
“Maybe.” I laughed.
Finn’s eyes lingered on mine too long. The space between us grew thick with yearning, and my insides felt uneasy. My palms started sweating, and my cheeks flushed. Oh my God. My eyes fluttered away from his, and I looked at my feet. What the hell just happened? Why did he look at me like that? Friends. We were friends, dammit.
“Breakfast?” Finn offered, breaking the silence.
I tucked my hair behind my ears and nodded, barely looking at him. “Yeah. That sounds great. McDonald’s?”
“Yeah, I’ll go tell Tryston.” He bolted as fast as I had been about to if he hadn’t.
I made my way to his truck and waited.
That was so weird.
So damn weird.
THE PAIN OF LOSING Channing and Katie was getting better. I still had moments where I got angry, but I refused to let myself be hurt by it anymore. If I allowed myself to wallow in self-pity, I was letting them win. I was making friends in my new town, and they were making moving on a whole hell of a lot easier.
But I had a new problem. I was starting to have feelings for Finn Kerr. As hard as I tried to avoid the new feelings, I was majorly failing. At first, it was just a physical attraction, but then it became more. The snarky attitude I had once despised was now what I loved about him and what made Finn who he was. The little things he did to make sure I’m happy or having a good time when we hung out showed me how compassionate and caring he was.
I hadn’t told Finn or Tryston about my family issues or anything that had gone wrong in the past few months. They didn’t need to know. However, Finn did ask me why I wasn’t bringing Channing around or hanging out in Fredericksburg as much anymore. I gave him a vague reply about how Channing and I broke up and my friends there weren’t as cool as my new ones in Kerrville.
I looked over at Finn while he washed my car. My teeth were chattering, and I had my hood pulled tightly over my head. Texas didn’t get too cold around this time of the year, but today it was definitely too cold to be washing a car. He insisted, though, since he was the one who got it dirty.
“You kn-n-now, F-inn, you c-c-could just w-w-ash it later.”
He burst into laughter at my attempt to talk and came across my driveway with a playful grin. My eyes went to the hose he was holding. I immediately jumped up, but before I could make a run for it, I was drenched in ice cold water.
I screamed.
“Stop!” I pleaded as I ran. I made it to the carport and pointed a shaky finger at him. “D-d-don’t you dare!”
He was doubled over laughing.
I huffed and glared at him. “I’m going inside.” My skin tingled with warmth when I walked into the house.
Once I made it to my room, I stripped out of my drenched clothes and changed into some sweats and another hoodie. After I brushed my hair, I headed back outside but stopped when I saw Finn sitting on my couch. He had his feet propped up on the recliner and his arms folded behind his head. I’d be freaking out if I thought my dad or Nancy would come home right now, but Dad was out of town, and Nancy was working nights as a nurse at an out-of-town hospital.
I peeked out the window at my shiny car. “You did good.” I turned to smile at him. “Thanks.”
“Well, of course I did good. I don’t know how not to be the best.”
“You’re cocky as hell, Finn.”
He laughed and put his hands in his lap. “I know, but it makes you laugh.”
I bit my bottom lip and sat down on the loveseat. I wiped some water off my forehead that had dripped from my hair. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell Finn how I felt. We were alone for the first time, and now would be the best time to say something if I was going to. But what if I screwed up our newfound friendship? I was scared to make things weird, and was I truly ready for another boyfriend this soon after Channing? I was scared that if he felt the same way, and we tried to be more than friends, I’d screw it up, because as badly as I tried to pretend that I was fine, I hadn’t fully healed from the Channing and Katie hurt.
“Finn?”
“Yeah?” he asked as he went into the kitchen. I followed him in and sat on the counter while he searched for something to eat.
“What if…” I stammered before I could get it out in a complete sentence. “What if someone who was friends with someone, like good friends, thought they liked that friend more than a friend?” My cheeks were hot.
He stopped searching and looked at me. “What?”
I looked at my dangling feet and shrugged. “It’s a hypothetical question.”
“You sure about that, Ellie?”
I couldn’t look at him. “Yeah…”
“Okay, well, ‘hypothetically’, I think that the friend who li
ked the friend more than just a friend should stick with just being friends, because usually, fucking up the friend-zone can make things awkward.”
I nodded. “Okay.” I let out a heavy sigh. I pointed to the cabinet to his left. “All the snack food is in there.”
He opened it. “So, all bullshit aside, we’re just friends, Ellie. Right?” He looked over his shoulder at me.
My cheeks were going to burst into flames. “Yeah. If that’s what you want.”
He nodded. “I don’t want a girlfriend right now. I like you and me being friends. A lot actually. Let’s not screw it up.”
“Okay. Sorry. I didn’t mean to make things weird.”
He laughed, but I could tell it was forced. Dammit, I’d made him uncomfortable.
“No biggie. Just don’t ever mention it again.”
I nodded. “Deal.”
He went back to digging in my cabinet until he found a bag of Doritos. He opened the new bag. “Want to watch a movie or something?”
“Yeah, sure.” I tried to smile and hopped off the counter. I grabbed a blanket from the hall closet and curled up on the loveseat. Finn sat on the opposite couch after putting in The Avengers.
I really hoped we could get past me opening my big stupid mouth. I should’ve just left it alone. But something weird happened to me when I was around Finn. Even though I hadn’t told him my whole life story or about Channing, I always felt like I could, and he’d be so understanding. I felt like I could open up to him about anything if I wanted to. So when I finally did, I opened up about the wrong thing.
I wondered if I could shake these feelings, or if they were just going to get stronger. And if they did, how would I get past it and accept that we were just friends? I couldn’t screw up things with Finn. I loved being around him, and it would crush me if I ruined it.
Stupid, Ellie.
I DIDN’T WANT TO HAVE to go to Walmart. I especially didn’t want to go with Nancy. Somehow my dad convinced me to. He thought it’d be good bonding or something stupid like that. I just agreed to get him to shut up.
