Trouble in Paradise

by Brown, Deborah

  Thank you, Mother. “We’re just friends. Creole has friend of the family status.”

  “I don’t like that either. What’s my status?”

  “I want to reassure you, Zach Lazarro, that I’m not done with you yet. You’re not in jeopardy of being traded. You go back to work and I’ll go back to my blind date. You know nothing happens on the first date.”

  Zach arched his eyebrows. “Are you forgetting we had banging sex on your patio?”

  “We lived together first. I’d even previewed you in your underwear,” I said with a straight face.

  “Is he bothering you?” Creole asked from behind me, handing me a glass of white wine.

  “You’re bothering us.” Zach glared at him. He grabbed me, giving me a long kiss. “See you later. Don’t touch her,” he said to Creole.

  Zach had marked his territory and it felt good. “What’s up with you two?” I wanted to touch my lips, savor the kiss.

  “Zach thinks I’m a drug dealing criminal who belongs in jail.”

  “Why not tell him? You grew up together, best friends. That should count for something. If anyone would keep your secret and have your back, it would be Zach.”

  “Pissed me off when he jumped to conclusions. Why should I clear up any misconceptions? There’s a certain comfort in carrying a justified grudge.”

  “Zach’s probably going to warn Madeline or, worse, Brad. You’re a link to Elizabeth that I don’t want to lose.”

  “I’d warn her too,” Creole said. “I made my ass-kissing rounds, shook hands with the right higher-ups. So whenever you’re ready, we can sneak out, go eat chicken someplace else.”

  * * *

  In my front hallway, Creole pushed me up against my front door, covering my body with his. The house was quiet; Fab must’ve gone to bed. “I know you were tricked into this date. You’re the only woman I know who would be such a good sport.” He brushed stray red curls behind my ear. “You saved me from taking a hooker date, like a couple of other guys showed up with.”

  “You need to get their numbers and give them to Mother. She’d love to drive them crazy finding them dates.”

  “I’ve been a perfect gentleman.”

  “Except for the times you looked down the front of my dress,” I said.

  “I could’ve stared a lot longer.”

  “False advertising.” I made a face. “Mother got carried away when she bought the bra.”

  “I’m sorry,” Creole said.

  “For what?”

  He leaned in to kiss me.

  “You can stop now,” Fab interrupted. I guess she wasn’t asleep after all. “Madison has a boyfriend and I’d hate to have to shoot you.” She stood at the bottom of the stairs, hands on her hips, wearing a skimpy nightgown.

  “You’re a pain in the ass,” Creole told Fab.

  “That’s old news. Goodnight.” Fab pointed to the door.

  “Don’t be so rude.” I almost laughed.

  “I wouldn’t want to be rude,” Fab purred. “Stay as long as you want, I’m not going anywhere.”

  Creole glared at Fab. “Thank you.” He kissed me lightly on the lips, closing the door behind him.

  “You’re worse than a father on prom night,” I said. “Thank you for interrupting. I’m surprised you didn’t do it with a shotgun.” I kicked off my heels. “Unzip my dress, this bra has to come off. Damn thing digs into my skin.”

  “You be careful of him,” Fab warned. “I did a little checking. The phone number on his business card vouches for him but the address is an empty lot.”

  I unhooked my bra, threw it over the banister, and then pulled my dress back into place. “The Elizabeth connection is all I need. And it’s been verified with diary entries that were kept in her special box, and pictures of them together at various times over their lives, a lot of them taken here around the pool.” I sat in an oversized chair across from Fab. I chose each piece of furniture for its comfort; this chair belonged to my aunt and I’d had it reupholstered.

  “Who knows if that’s all true? Anything can be forged. A little hard to ask Elizabeth herself.”

  “We could do a séance,” I suggested.

  “No, no and no to the séance and I mean it.” Fab pounded her fist on the coffee table. “Tell me about your night.”

  “Zach showed up in a tux, looking yummy, not happy to see me there with a date. I love it when Mother arranges these outings and they turn extremely awkward.”

  “I feel bad for my part in this; it sounded fun when your Mother first recruited me.”

  “Oh, I almost forgot, remember Zach’s client Buckshot? He was there with the wife.” I rolled my eyes. “Cynthia drools at the mention of Zach’s name, doesn’t her husband notice?”

  “If you’d just shot her in the bathroom that first time, Bucky could’ve moved on to another blond trophy.”

  “Can you imagine, our first real date and I shoot the client’s wife.” We both laughed.

  “And the rest of the evening?” Fab asked.

  “I lacked the appropriate appreciation for some of the art. It was hard to make small talk when I didn’t understand it or get it or whatever one is supposed to think looking at modern art.” I sighed. “My favorite part was dressing up in this fabulous dress, the ginormous boobs, and Mother’s jewelry. Do you think I get to keep this piece?” I fingered the diamond heart necklace.

  “Borrowing is one thing, keeping is another.”

  “I felt princessy and not a single worry about turning into a pumpkin.”

  Fab shook her head. “You can’t get your clichés or your fairy tales right.”

  CHAPTER 24

  The morning sun streamed through the bedroom window. The baby blue sky and white fluffy clouds were a prelude to a perfect day. If one listened, you could hear the sounds of nature in the still of the morning. I loved waking up next to Zach. He showed up when it was pitch black outside. The mattress bounced underneath me, announcing his arrival. I rolled into his arms and we fell asleep.

  “What are you doing?” Zach asked.

  “Checking out to see how tan I am.” I extended my leg straight into the air.

  “Wrap it around my waist and we’ll compare tan lines.”

  I rolled on my side, resting my foot on his butt. “This is a good way to start the day.”

  “Have you noticed I haven’t complained about your new PI career lately?” Zach whispered against my cheek.

  “That’s because I get all the weasel jobs from Brick.” I sighed. “FYI: I stopped taking his calls since the arrest.”

  “Don’t you think I should be rewarded?” He nibbled on my shoulder. “I really want you to stay away from Creole. He’s big trouble and I don’t want you ending up in jail again. You might not be able to get out so easily if he’s involved.”

  “Talk to him, resolve your issues… please.” I kissed him lightly.

  “Too late for that. I want a closer inspection of all that cleavage.”

  “The girls were pretty spectacular but it came with a price of pain. What’s the latest on Cosmo? Arrest imminent?”

  “As you know, my office has several connections inside the Miami police department. It’s still an open case file, only crackpot leads, nothing credible. I’d know if there was anything new. They’re feeling frustrated but definitely not giving up.”

  “That sucks for Pastor Rich.” The not knowing must be gnawing at him.

  “Slice is the one who keeps up on the case more than I do. He knows the Pastor and likes him.” Zach checked the clock. “I’ve got to leave. I can’t believe you talked through what could’ve been morning sex.”

  “There’s still the shower. We’ve been known to be adept at doing two things at once.” I jumped off the bed. The rule had already been established: first one in the shower got their back washed first.

  * * *

  The smell of coffee brewing drifted up the stairs as I made my way downstairs. “You even have a cup waiting for me,” I sai
d to Fab. She sat at the island and had clearly fed Jazz, since he lay asleep in the middle of floor requiring one to step over him.

  “Sorry, get your own.” Fab poured coffee into two mugs.

  “Bon jour.” Fab’s friend Didier made his shirtless appearance in the kitchen. He smiled, spoke in French to Fab, and kissed her.

  “Who the hell are you?” Zach demanded, making his appearance.

  The four of us sharing coffee wasn’t how I wanted to introduce Didier. In fact, I wanted to avoid this moment all together.

  Before he had a chance to respond, I said, “Fab’s friend, Didier.” I poured Zach’s coffee into an adult sippy cup and handed it to him. The two men nodded their heads in acknowledgment. Fab pulled Didier by the arm into the living room.

  “You’re staring at him. What am I?” Zach asked.

  “Honey you know I’m the number one fan of your…” I ran my finger down his torso. He caught my hand in his when I got to his pants. He jerked me to him, smiling.

  “You want me to throw them both out?” Zach whispered in my ear.

  “Have a nice day at the office, honey.” I kissed him. He grunted at Fab and Didier and disappeared through the French doors.

  “I have to leave also,” Didier said in that wonderful accent. He pulled a tight t-shirt over his torso and left by the front door.

  Fab got a much better kiss from Didier than I did from Zach.

  “You stared the whole time,” Fab said.

  “I’ll bet that never happens, like all the time.”

  I took a green plastic platter out of the cupboard and reached for the pink bakery box.

  “What are you doing?” Fab asked.

  “Channeling my mother! I’m putting these chocolate chip cookies on this platter and passing them off as homemade. A trick I learned from the master at an early age.”

  Fab grabbed two out of the box. “Who’s the lucky recipient?”

  “I’m going to Tolbert’s, dropping off the cookies and then going to The Cottages.”

  “You’re going to pass off store bought as homemade to a preacher?” Fab didn’t wait for an answer. “Now that’s some karma.”

  CHAPTER 25

  Fab threw the front door open like a tornado blowing in, slamming it behind her. “I need muscle this afternoon.” She flexed her arm. “We’re moving a few boxes. I already have the moving truck.” Then adding, “For charity.”

  “I don’t believe one word you’re saying,” I said. “I’m busy.”

  “Who in the hell else am I going to ask?” Fab yelled.

  “Rule one for asking a favor: try telling me a truthful story up front.”

  Fab grumbled something under her breath. “I have a new client. She needs help in getting away from her abusive husband before he kills her. I need your help in putting my three-step getaway plan into motion.”

  “You of all people know I rarely say no to anyone, least of all you.” I handed Fab my glass to fill with ice since she was closest to the refrigerator. “Of course, I’ll help.”

  “I borrowed a truck from Mercy House. We’re going to my client’s house this afternoon to pick up boxes and an assortment of old kids toys that were left on the curb, and then leave.”

  “Does Mercy House know you borrowed the truck?”

  “Yes,” Fab said in a huff. “Wendy remembered me from when we were in there looking for Pot’s dead mother. She was very understanding. Turns out she volunteers at the women’s shelter. I gave her one of our ridiculous business cards.”

  “Good thing I carry a gun as a fashion accessory. I’m going to need it when you slip and call Kettle ‘Pot’ to her face.” I shook my head. “What’s in the boxes?” If this was a Brick job, one could count on something unexpected; gunfire, dogs, none of his jobs were without unpleasant surprises. “Does the client have a name?”

  “The client’s name is Rachel. She’s managed to box a few personal belongings for her and the kid to start their new lives. I told her to leave other things out that would be visible to her husband so he wouldn’t get suspicious.”

  Fab’s phone rang. “Are they ready?” she asked. The call lasted less than thirty seconds.

  “The second part of the plan is where you’re on your own,” Fab told me. “When the middle school gets out this afternoon you’ll meet Rachel when she picks up her son and pass on the travel arrangements. You need to look like any other mother picking up her child. Be quick, pass on the information and leave.”

  “Why not go to her house?” I asked.

  “Her husband, Sabrosa, shows up at odd times, and he has the neighbors watching the house. He caught me coming down the walkway the last time; screamed at me, pointing at the no trespassing sign. I told him I was there to tell him how to get heaven, then handed him a religious pamphlet someone gave me a couple of weeks ago.”

  I couldn’t resist. “How do you get to heaven?”

  “Don’t ask me. I saved it because I thought it might come in handy. Doesn’t mean I read it. I made sure to tell him that no one was home. That’s why I can’t show up at the school. He shows up there a couple times a week, and if he pops out of the bushes and sees me again he’ll get suspicious.”

  “I can make the school scenario look real. I’ll call Julie and see if it’s okay to pick up Liam.” Jazz rubbed up against my legs, a nice way of saying he was hungry before he started howling.

  “Huh, that’s a good idea.”

  “Don’t look so shocked, I have damn good ideas all the time. Don’t you worry that, in the end, the husband will find her? It’s easy to do these days.”

  “Rachel has a connection to Brick; she’s a college friend of one of his sisters. He arranged a new life for Rachel and her son Michael. If she does exactly what Brick tells her, the husband will never find her.”

  “Better idea, why doesn’t Brick just kill him?” I asked.

  “He’d have to kill all of Sabrosa’s brothers. He comes from a long line of creepy.”

  CHAPTER 26

  “Give me a good reason as to why you’re moping out here on such a beautiful day?” Liam sat poolside in a chair staring into space. “Your face has the uh-oh I’m in trouble look.”

  “You might want to sit down.”

  “Just tell me. I’m good with problems.” I kicked off my newest pair of black wedge flops, and stuck my feet in the water.

  “Remember when you said I could borrow the lawnmower? Well uh… Harv and I wrecked it,” Liam blurted.

  The lawnmower had a checkered history for its short life; pawned, now wrecked and had even been on a local road tour. The new seat I had to buy was worth the price after Jax’s worthless cousin stood on it, and fell off, giving him a minor concussion and a couple of big bruises.

  I remembered being distracted at the time Liam asked about the lawnmower and apparently I didn’t ask enough questions.

  “Start at the beginning and where’s Harvey?” I sighed.

  “It’s Harvard. He’s at my house, but could we leave him out of this? His father is scary and it wouldn’t be good if he found out.”

  “How do you wreck a lawnmower mowing lawns?” I’d never rat the two of them out to their parents but I’d make them squirm a little.

  “We entered The Cove One Hundred Lawnmower races that are in two weeks. We needed to practice so we used yours, ran through a hedge, and clipped a tree.”

  Poor lawnmower! “How did you get the keys to the mower?”

  “Gardener Girl let us into the shed when I told her I had your permission.” Liam stammered, “I have enough money saved to pay to get it fixed.”

  “What’s Harvard’s role in all this?” As a teenager I could see myself roping my brother into appropriating the lawnmower and off to the races we’d go. The pool gate opened and a young boy Liam’s age walked in. “It was my idea to enter the races.”

  “Harvard, I presume?” I asked.

  Harvard nodded; a bundle of nerves and looked ready to be sick at any moment. �
�I ran all of the details of the lawnmower races by my father, I didn’t leave anything out, and he gave permission to use our family’s.” He sat down next to Liam. “When it came time to practice, he told me all he agreed to was that I could be in the races. He said, ‘Don’t touch my lawnmower.’ I did it to be friends with Liam, so he’d think I was cool.”

  “Are you both okay?” The races sounded fun and if I’d known all the details I would’ve probably said yes. Lesson to me. They could’ve been hurt.

  They both said yes in unison.

  “How bad is the damage?”

  “The front corner is caved in. It stopped running, and then we had to push it back from the practice field,” Harvard said. “I’m the new kid and tired of having no friends.”

  I remember my father telling me, a smart person learns from their bad decisions and doesn’t make them again. There were lessons here for the three of us.

  The Cove held lawnmower races every two years; a tourist attraction of sorts. Having zero interest, my knowledge was limited. The riders raced modified mowers, blades removed. These races were taken seriously by rednecks and drunks, most entered for fun.

  “You two are lucky I can remember vividly being a kid once.” I felt grateful it was only a wrecked lawnmower. “I’m giving you Moron’s phone number. Liam knows him, and he can fix anything. If Moron asks for your help, I expect you to leap at the chance, no complaining. This is our secret, no one else needs to know anything.”

  “You’re not going to tell my father?” Harvard looked relieved.

  I felt bad for Harv. Whenever I got in trouble as a kid the first place I ran was to my mother. “You two need to learn the art of full disclosure. You better not cry or I’ll change my mind.”

  “I’m not.” Harvard sniffed.

  “Give me a few minutes to call Moron to let him know you’ll need his services.” Hopefully he’d recognize the number and pickup. “Where is the lawnmower?”

  “It’s in the shed,” Liam said. “Thank you, you’re the best.”