Trouble in Paradise

by Brown, Deborah

  “One day over coffee, I told my old friend Spoon what I thought was a weird story about missing ashes. He laughed and vouched for you; said you need to learn to say no to people. ‘Any friend of his’ type of thing. His girlfriend Madeline wasn’t amused by the story,” Wendy said.

  “She’s probably annoyed I failed to mention I was taking on side jobs.” I recently decided on my afterlife choice. I wanted to be propped up in someone’s kitchen like Mr. Q.

  “Shall we go pitch the plan to Miss Apple and see what she has to say?” Wendy asked as she threw her cup in the recycle bin.

  “Apple’s mother is in the waiting area. We need to go around through emergency so she won’t see us.”

  “This way,” she motioned and we walked around the building to the other entrance. The receptionist looked up, Wendy waved, and when we walked around the last corner, I motioned to the waiting room. Wendy peeked in and motioned me to follow. “Apple’s mother dozed off,” she whispered.

  Wendy pushed the door open and walked over to the bed. “Apple,” she said, pushing her hair back.

  Apple’s eyes popped open. “Water,” she croaked. She looked at me. “You came back. I didn’t think you would.”

  Wendy held the cup and straw up to Apple’s mouth. “Apple you have two options.” She outlined Apple’s choices in detail.

  “Will I be locked up?” Apple asked.

  “At any time you can make the decision to leave the detox program or the shelter. You make your own choices but keep in mind there will be a lot of good options to choose from.”

  To my relief, it looked like Wendy had convinced her. It surprised me that Apple didn’t ask about her preferable first choice to head back to the streets. She was smart enough to realize that only a detox unit would protect her from the long arms of her mother.

  “Can we leave now before she comes back?” Apple asked, her eyes constantly darting to the door.

  * * *

  It took a while but Wendy reappeared with paperwork in her hand. Apple eagerly signed. The door opened and Shirl pushed in a wheelchair, Tina Manning right behind her.

  “What the hell is going on here?” Tina demanded. “Don’t touch her! She’s not going anywhere unless I say so.”

  “Apple has signed herself out,” Shirl informed her. “Unless you can produce medical power of attorney or other legal paperwork, there’s nothing you or I can do.”

  “As soon as you roll her out the door, I’ll have her arrested,” Tina threatened.

  “Being homeless is not a crime.” Shirl glared at her.

  “I’m Wendy with Mercy House.” She handed Tina her business card. “Apple has agreed to a detox program and, to put your mind at ease, we have a wonderful after care program.”

  “You are interfering in a family matter. Health care decisions are already in place for Apple,” Tina said. Then, turning to her daughter, “Get out of that chair, Apple Manning.”

  I put my hand on Apple’s shoulder. “She’s made her decision. Accept it and stand back so they can get out the door.”

  “I don’t understand you. Jax and Apple were planning to get married and were waiting to try for another baby after miscarrying the first one,” Tina said. “Why are you here?”

  The word ‘miscarriage’ was a fist to my gut. I looked at Apple and she stared down at her feet. “Jax is available now, you should contact him,” I said to Tina.

  “No thanks,” Tina snapped.

  I leaned down. “Apple do yourself a favor and take this program seriously.” I followed the wheelchair out of the room and then went in the opposite direction.

  CHAPTER 33

  “Where did you go so early this morning?” Fab sat in a chaise next to me, out by the pool.

  I filled her in on the details about Apple getting beat up. The sun shone brightly when I left the hospital and drove over to Pelican. Most of Apple’s belongings had disappeared from the street and there was no trace of her cardboard home.

  “Bon soir, mademoiselles.” Didier appeared from the kitchen and set a tray of drinks and munchy food on the table. He strutted out in a black skimpy bikini bottom leaving nothing to anyone’s imagination.

  Fab had on four pieces of white string; must be a European thing with these two. I thought my red tankini was skimpy, but it looked like a sack in comparison.

  “Back at you, Didier,” I said.

  “This will be fun, the three of us,” Didier declared, and then turned and dove into the pool.

  “You were staring,” Fab said.

  My cheeks burned. “Just a quick peek or two. Is he well… um… so how are things going?”

  “We’re well suited; we enjoy banging sex and he doesn’t expect me to be anything different when we have our clothes on. Did that answer your almost nosy question?”

  I covered my face and laughed. “I’m going upstairs. Just know that my bedroom window overlooks the pool.”

  “Stay. It’ll be fun,” Fab said.

  “Nice lie, but I can swim anytime and you two could use some alone, out of bed time.”

  Zach walked into the pool area, looking overdressed in a pair of black linen shorts and t-shirt. Didier decided this was a good time to get out of the pool like a sea god, shaking water across the pavement.

  “We met the other day,” Didier said to Zach, extending his hand. “Fabiana has told me all about you.”

  “Yeah I’ll bet.” Zach kissed my cheek. “Doesn’t he make enough money to afford the rest of the bathing suit?” he whispered.

  I pulled Zach on the chaise next to me. “Try and be nice.”

  Fab pushed Didier back into the pool and, as he fell, he grabbed her arm pulling her in.

  “Every time I come over here, I say a prayer that she’ll be gone.” Zach cut his eyes to the pool.

  “Jazz and I would miss her.”

  “I’m here to entice you to dinner with me. I’ll feed you, get you liquored up and have my way with you in the back of my SUV.”

  “Do I get to pick the dive?”

  Zach pushed a curl behind my ear. “No, because you’ll pick Jake’s. I’m thinking Banjoe’s down in Duck Key.”

  “I like your choice in hole in the wall restaurants. Want to come with me, fast shower, and change?” I asked.

  Zach glared at the pool. “I think I’ll sit here and clean my gun; see what model boy is made of.”

  “Just remember that Fab’s in the pool with him and I won’t be happy if I hear gunfire.”

  “Then you better hurry up and not leave me sitting here very long.”

  CHAPTER 34

  Banjoe’s, a broken down lime green shack, with pink and white trim, that boasts fresh seafood and burgers. Floodlights decorate the outside. The walls inside are covered in musical instruments. A piano, that the occasional customer plays, sits in the corner. Taped to the music holder is a sign: ‘If you get booed, go back to your table or leave.’

  Zach always chose a corner table in the back and tonight was no exception. He never turned his back to anything except a wall. He pulled me onto his lap, rearranging my skirt. An older man sat down at the piano and started banging out “Cheeseburger in Paradise.” Two women started singing along and unfortunately for the rest of us they didn’t know the words very well.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  “I scoped out your skirt on the way over. I can put my hands anywhere they want to go, and no one will notice.”

  “I feel used.”

  Zach, his hands on my bare back, pulled me against his chest. “And the night’s not over.” He kissed me hard.

  “You’re not going to believe who’s here,” he said in my ear. “Madeline and her lover, Spoon.”

  “Oh stop. Why would Mother come down here? Darts and pool tables aren’t quite her style.”

  “So she can smooch it up with her criminal boyfriend and no one would be the wiser,” Zach said gloating. “They snagged the other corner table, by the bar.”

  I turned a
t the moment Mother laid a fat kiss on Spoon. “We could sneak down the back stairs and make a clean get away.”

  “Too late; Spoon just waved.” Zach waved back. “We should go over.”

  “And lose our seat? I don’t think so. The place is packed.” The drinks that Zach had ordered on the way in the door arrived at our table. “Next move is on them.”

  Zach picked me up and sat me on the chair next to him.

  “Coward.”

  He pulled my scoop neck top open. “I like this bra, sitting there all perky, waiting for me.”

  “Don’t expect to see it very often. It digs into my skin. You’re going to have to be satisfied with braless.”

  “You can take it off now and I’ll stuff it in my pocket. I could use some wall art at my place.”

  “So sweet of you.” I kissed him. “Mother needs to explain herself to Brad about Spoon before he finds out I knew but said nothing. Why don’t I put a dollar in the juke box and we could stand and rub up against one another?”

  “Not in front of your mother. Besides, they’re headed this way.”

  “Just when I was comfortable pretending they weren’t here,” I groaned, guzzling my margarita.

  “Mind if we join you?” Spoon grinned like the cat that scored the mouse.

  “Funny running into you, honey.” Mother kissed my cheek. “What brings you here?”

  Spoon scrounged up two chairs from different tables, and dragged them over.

  “Zach’s getting me drunk so I’ll have public sex with him somewhere.”

  Mother looked at me, then Zach. “That’s nice. We were about to leave but we can stay for one more drink.”

  We sat in an uncomfortable silence until the drinks arrived.

  “So… how’s tricks, Spooner?” I asked.

  Spoon glared, a slight twitch of a smile at the corners of his mouth. “Pretty soon, you can call me Daddy.” He put his arm around Mother.

  Mother choked on her Jack rocks.

  “Don’t think so,” I said. “Mother, have you had Spoon and Brad to dinner yet?”

  “My friendship,” Mother patted Spoon’s hand, “is my business and I will be the one to tell Brad.”

  I jumped at the sound of a gunshot ricocheting around the room. Two men with Halloween masks were waving guns around, while people screamed.

  “Shut up!” The sloppy looking ringleader held a semi-automatic with an extended clip. “Watches, jewelry, wallets, purses on the table. Don’t hold out on us or I’ll have to shoot you.” The other one had a large garbage bag.

  “Either one of you got your gun?” Spoon whispered, throwing his wallet on the table.

  “Next person to open their mouth to whisper, cough, cry gets a bullet.” Ringleader aimed upwards blowing a blade off the ceiling fan. The place got eerily quiet.

  “Darden, what the hell are you doing?” Karla asked the ringleader as she dashed out of the kitchen, dropping a serving tray; food and broken dishes flying everywhere.

  “You stupid bitch.” He grabbed Karla by her ponytail, putting his arm around her neck. “Hurry up,” he told his partner in crime, “we need to get out of here.”

  “Don’t do anything stupid. Leave now, before you go to back to jail,” Karla whined.

  The garbage bag-toting masked man approached our table. Zach threw his wallet in the bag and I took off my watch and bracelets, none of it worth more than sentimental value. “Put the shit in the bag,” he ordered me, pointing his gun.

  “Neither of you bitches got a purse?” Robber asked.

  “Didn’t bring one.” I pushed my jewelry across the table.

  “Hey, Grandma,” he snarled and hit Mother in the back. “Take off that shiny watch of yours and hurry it up.”

  The watch was a birthday gift from her sister, my Aunt Elizabeth. Mother had leaned down and had been fiddling under the table.

  Mother held out her purse. “Drop it in the bag,” he ordered.

  At the same time she dropped her purse, she produced a Bobcat Beretta and shot him in the upper chest.

  A few patrons screamed, and most rolled onto the floor. Another patron a few tables away whipped out his gun and shot Darden when he shoved Karla aside.

  Zach retrieved his cell phone from under his butt and dialed. “We need an ambulance.”

  Spoon leaned down and took Darden’s pulse. “This one’s still alive.”

  I slid into Spoon’s vacant chair next to Mother. “Are you okay?” I reached across the table, retrieving the wallets from the bag and my jewelry from the table. “At least he’s not dead.”

  “You hear that bastard call me Grandma?” Her hands shook. “Now what? I’ve never shot anyone before.”

  “There will be an investigation but there were twenty-five people here to corroborate what went down.” When the shooting stopped, most of the people jumped up and ran out of the restaurant. An older woman at the next table was crying and her husband had his arms around her.

  “The guy who shot the ringleader was an off-duty cop. He’s taken charge,” Zach said.

  “Your quick thinking saved the night.” I pointed to Mother’s handgun. “Do you carry that in your purse all the time?”

  “Spoon knew I had it in my purse.” Mother held his hand. “I planned to pass my purse to him and the strap got caught on my foot. Then the guy was right behind me.”

  “I saw you playing kissy face with your bad-boy boyfriend. You’re lucky I didn’t shoot him.”

  “Madison, you’re not funny,” Mother said.

  “You owe me for not shooting you,” I informed Spoon.

  Spoon gave me a perturbed look.

  “Oh look. Julie’s brother Kevin just got here. You’ll like him.” The paramedics were right behind him. “I don’t care for his partner and he’d better be nice to you.”

  Kevin walked up. “Two shooters in the family?”

  I made the introductions. “Keep in mind that Liam won’t be happy with you if you haul Mother off to prison.”

  “He’s not even dead,” Mother said. “I wasn’t planning on… I didn’t mean to…,” she babbled, sounding incoherent. The reality of what she’d done had apparently set in.

  “We need a statement and then you can go,” Kevin told Mother. “We’re happy that the only ones hurt or dead are the criminals.”

  “The ringleader got the A-ticket ride to the afterlife,” Spoon said. “I doubt this one survives the ride to the hospital. Good job, honey.”

  “Turns out this guy is Darden’s twin brother Doug,” Zach informed us, pointing to the stretcher. “Parents must be proud.”

  The paramedics had Doug strapped to a stretcher, rolling him out the front door.

  “Darden thought he would get away with robbing a restaurant where his girlfriend worked?” I said. He lay dead with a sheet over him by the bar. “What an idiot.”

  “It will be interesting to see if she leaves here in cuffs,” Zach said. “I’m not sure she didn’t know. She may have but got cold feet. When Madeline fired, Darden shoved Karla out of the way. No big loss; Darden had an extensive arrest record, a career criminal. If he hadn’t ended up dead he would’ve died in prison.”

  “Let’s hope if Doug lives, he cops a plea so you don’t end up having to go to court,” I told Mother.

  “You’re awfully calm,” Mother said.

  “It’s in my DNA to be good in a crisis.”

  CHAPTER 35

  Zach had climbed out of bed early, leaving me with a kiss. Mac had the day off so she could attend a funeral. A long time Cove resident, Twizzle, had died at ninety-two. His close friends, and whoever else could sneak on the boat, would be making the trip out into the Gulf to say their final drunken farewell. Our non-relationship consisted of a quick hello and a wave, so I had no memories to share with the bleary-eyed crowd.

  Fab stood in the kitchen, her designer duffle bag sat at the front door. “Didier and I are going to Key West for a couple of days. Can you stay out of trouble?”
r />   “I want to come. Key West is my favorite,” I whined. “Shopping, eating, shopping.”

  Didier walked in the front door. “Bon jour,” he said before kissing my cheek.

  Fab and Didier made an attractive couple, sexy and hard-bodied. “Have fun you two. Make me your first call if you need bail money.”

  “Ignore her,” Fab said to Didier. He grabbed her bag and they disappeared out the door.

  As soon as the door closed, the sound of my phone ringing interrupted the quiet.

  “This is Sheriff Wallack. I’m here at The Cottages. We need you to get over here.”

  “What’s going on?” I asked.

  “I’ll be expecting you.” He hung up.

  “See you later, Jazz.” I picked him up, nuzzled his neck and then set him back on the floor.

  * * *

  Today was the perfect warm, sunny day to take the long way to The Cottages. I drove along the beach watching the waves lap the shore, which made me want to pull my SUV over and dig my toes in the white sand. I’d heard that an abundance of sand dollars had washed up on the beaches. My plan was to stop on the way home and fill the buckets that I always kept in the back.

  “I’m tired of these sheriff calls,” I mumbled to myself, pulling into a parking space.

  I scanned the driveway, no sheriff car parked anywhere. It surprised me that they would summon me here and then leave. It was unusually quiet; maybe the sheriff had run everyone off. There wasn’t a single person milling around; doors closed and no cars. This had to be a first.

  I hit the redial on my phone hoping to find out when the sheriff would be back. It rang incessantly, apparently no voice mail. Oh well, it wasn’t bad news until I heard about it directly or was forced to listen to a message

  I got out of my SUV, still looking around, and then went to check out the office. No emergency messages there. Half way to the pool, Kibble stepped out from behind Cottage Two, blocking the walkway, a threatening look on his face.

  “How’s tricks?” Kibble laughed.

  The sound of his laugh unnerved me. “I don’t want to fight with you,” I said. As I turned to go back, his hand shot out, shoving me up against the building.