by Regan Black
Inside he knew the reason he’d chosen this place to spend his late afternoon was because it was close to Nicole’s. He wasn’t sure how he’d be greeted after what had happened yesterday, but he knew he could no more stay away than he could stop breathing.
Finally, after getting a refill, he braved the downpour and drove slowly to her house. Yellow light shone in the windows, letting him know she was home. He parked in the driveway instead of the street as it was a shorter path to the door.
Still not even sure she wouldn’t turn him away, he sprinted from his truck to her door. Luckily, the front portico blocked the rain, so he didn’t have to stand there getting soaked while waiting.
At first, despite ringing the bell, she didn’t answer. He waited just long enough to realize he never should have come here, especially not today, and turned away. Facing the downpour, he eyed his truck, barely visible through the heavy curtains of rain.
Behind him, the door opened.
“Kyle?” Nicole sounded surprised, but not dismayed. He turned slowly, aware no matter how hard he tried to act like this was a casual visit, the ferocity of the storm made that excuse laughable.
So he gave her the truth. “I just wanted to check on you,” he said. “Make sure you were okay after today.”
She opened the door wider. “Come in. Get out of the rain.”
For the first time, he realized she wore an oversized T-shirt and a pair of tattered shorts. Her feet were bare, her toenails painted bright pink. With her face scrubbed clean of makeup, she looked impossibly young, as if she hadn’t aged at all since they’d started dating back in high school.
Longing warred with self-preservation. He tried, oh how hard he tried, to talk himself into declining, telling her now that he’d checked on her, he really needed to go.
But of course, he didn’t. Instead, he stepped into her foyer, rain water pooling on the marble floor at his feet.
Nicole laughed, an awkward sound, and ordered him to stay put while she fetched a towel. When she returned, she handed him a fluffy white bath sheet. Sheepishly, he dried himself off as best he could. Part of him already regretted the impulse that had made him stop by. But the other part of him, heart pounding, senses electrified, knew he couldn’t go. Nicole for him had begun to feel like an addiction, a powerful drug that he knew would eventually destroy him, but made him unable to get past the craving.
“I just finished bathing Jacob,” she said, accepting the towel back from him. “He’s clean and fed and awake. Would you like to see your son?”
Her choice of words startled him. He supposed because he hadn’t gotten used to the idea yet. “Sure,” he said.
“Follow me.” She walked off, hips swaying. Behind her, he couldn’t help but keep from glancing around the huge house. He wondered how she lived here. Was she comfortable? He didn’t think he could ever feel at home in such a formal and ornate place.
But she seemed at ease. They turned into a long hallway. She stopped in one of the rooms—a half bath—and hung the towel up on a bar, glancing back at Kyle with a slight smile. “I’ll let it dry.” And she turned left, which led back to the main part of the house. “Jacob’s in his playpen in the kitchen. He’s had a long day—we both have. I’m letting him have some play time before I put him down for the night.”
“Play time?” The term puzzled him. “What kind of playing can he do at three months old?”
Her smile widened. “Not much, but he’s very interested in colorful toys. He’s got some wind-up ones, too, that play music—he really likes those.”
Unlike the rest of the house, the kitchen seemed bright and cheerful. The walls had been painted a soft yellow, and despite the white cabinets, granite countertops and stainless steel appliances, it had an earthy, comfortable feel. In between a large island and the kitchen table, Nicole had set up a brightly colored playpen-like apparatus.
“He’s really cute,” he commented, gaze riveted on the smiling, kicking baby lying on his back in the center of it.
“Yes, he is.” she said, smiling. “Hey there, Jacob. Look who’s come to see you.”
Though he wasn’t entirely sure how to communicate with an infant, he figured if he followed her example, he’d be fine. He leaned down to get as close as he could. “Hi, Jacob,” he said, softening his tone. “How are you doing today?”
To his surprise, Jacob looked at him, smiling and gurgling and then blowing a bubble as he waved his arms around.
“You can pick him up if you want,” Nicole suggested. “You two might as well start getting used to each other.”
Though she had a point, he wasn’t sure he was ready. Such a little, delicate person. What if he held him wrong or dropped him. “I don’t know,” he started to stay. But the quick look of hurt that flashed across her expressive face stopped him short. “I don’t know how,” he amended. “I’m not sure I’ve ever held a baby this young.”
“I can show you how.” She scooped up Jacob, who laughed at the swooshing sound she made. “How’s Mommy’s little boy?” she cooed. Interestingly enough, the baby made nonsensical sounds, as if he was trying to communicate with her.
Outside, thunder boomed. Jacob jumped, startled. Kyle jumped too, dropping to the floor as if someone had just shouted Incoming. Adrenaline flooded through his body, followed closely by a rush of embarrassment and shame.
Slowly, he climbed to his feet, aware he was shaking. Steeling himself, he met Nicole’s startled gaze and opened his mouth to speak, to attempt to explain his actions.
“Here,” Nicole said, interrupting him. She started to hand him the baby, and then motioned toward one of the kitchen chairs. “Sit down first. I don’t want you doing that while holding Jacob.”
Bemused, his insides still quivering, he did as she asked. Once he’d settled himself as comfortably into the chair as he could, he had to grip the edge of the table, bracing himself for the next crack of thunder. “Honestly, Nicole. I think it’d be best if I wait for another time to hold him. These days, I don’t do well with loud noises.”
She tilted her head, considering. Still holding Jacob, she pulled out a chair and sat next to him, close enough that their knees touched.
Outside, a rumble, then a loud pop, before lightning flashed. He braced himself, and since he had the advantage of knowing it was coming, he didn’t move.
“There you go,” she said softly. “You’re okay. Here.”
To his stunned disbelief, she leaned forward. “Take him.”
What could he do but clench his teeth, and try? As he relaxed his hold on the table, he let his arms come up. She placed Jacob, squirming now, his little face screwed up as if he wasn’t sure whether or not to cry, into Kyle’s arms.
Terrified, Kyle froze. As if she sensed this, Nicole stayed close, hovering, ready to take back their son if he couldn’t do it.
Their son. He straightened his spine. And looked, really looked, into the bright, inquisitive gaze of his baby boy.
Something clicked inside him. He wasn’t sure whether to call it resolve or determination or maybe even love. But in that instant, he knew he would do whatever he had to in order to keep Jacob safe. Astounded, he brought one hand near his son’s hand and when Jacob wrapped his little fist around Kyle’s fingers, he was lost.
“Pretty amazing, isn’t he?” Nicole asked.
“He is,” Kyle answered fervently. When he looked up and met Nicole’s gaze, the tenderness in her expression humbled him.
“I was an army ranger,” he began, feeling the need to explain, as best he could, what had made him the way he was.
Right at that moment, a boom shook the house apart. The power flickered and went out. Another sound, clearly an explosion. Instead of panic, determination filled him. Not thunder, he thought, bringing the baby closer to his chest. Something worse. Much, much worse.
CHAPTER 8
> This time, he knew the urge to flee wasn’t psychotic. “Come on,” he said, pushing to his feet, Jacob cradled protectively against him. “We’ve got to get out. Now.”
“Did lightning hit us?” Nicole asked, clearly fighting panic. “I need to grab a few things. Jacob will need diapers and formula and—”
“No time. You can buy more later.”
To her credit, she didn’t argue. Together they moved toward the closest door, the one that led to the back patio.
As she reached out to fumble with the doorknob, he heard another sound loud and clear—the roar and crackle of fire. Despite the rain outside, the kitchen began to fill with acrid, thick black smoke.
He shoved Nicole outside. Wide-eyed, she turned to look back at her house. Kyle hip bumped her, sending her farther away from the house. From danger.
The rain still fell heavily, so Kyle hunched over to try and keep Jacob sheltered and dry as much as he could.
Nicole let out a cry, pointing. “Look. My house is burning. That fire is out of control.”
“Call 911,” he told her.
“I’m trying, but my phone keeps dropping the call.”
“It probably went through on their end.” He had to shout to be heard over the rain. “Let’s run for my pickup. We’ve got to get out of this rain. You can try again from there.”
Both Kyle and Nicole were soaked by the time they crawled up into the cab of his truck. Baby Jacob was wet, but not as badly as they were. Which was good, because Kyle didn’t want the infant to get chilled.
While Kyle moved the truck out of the driveway to put a safe distance between them and the house, Nicole called 911. This time, she spoke a few words into her phone, giving her address and stating what had happened. When she ended the call, she looked back at her house, her long wet hair hanging into her face. Brushing it away, she nodded grimly. “I got through. They’re sending people now.”
The fire flared up, defying the rain. “Why isn’t water putting it out?” she asked. “This doesn’t make sense.”
He didn’t have the heart to tell her it meant that some sort of accelerant had been used. The loud pop they’d heard had been some kind of explosion. This fire had been deliberately set.
The fire trucks arrived in record time, despite the rain coming down sideways in sheets.
Nicole left Jacob with Kyle in the cab of his truck and went to meet them.
Waving his chubby little arms around as if conducting an imaginary symphony, baby Jacob appeared remarkably unaffected by it all. Gazing at his son, a rush of love slammed Kyle. For the first time, he fully considered what it meant to be this boy’s father. He’d get to be there for Jacob, watch him grow. He’d see all of the firsts—first crawl, first step, first words. He’d even play a large part in shaping what kind of person Jacob would become.
As he continued to hold his son, Kyle marveled that Nicole had trusted him to keep their boy safe despite Kyle’s clear instability around loud noises.
But this time was different. He hadn’t lost it. To his surprise, something else had kicked in at the first hint of real danger. His every sense had sharpened. He’d known he’d get Nicole and Jacob all out, away from danger safely, or die trying.
He tried to peer out the fogged-up windows through the rain. As far as he could tell, outside, organized chaos reigned supreme. Despite the steady downpour, the fire continued to rage, eating up wood and sheetrock and whatever else it could find. Firefighters wearing their full gear worked to unravel a huge hose. Quickly, they aimed it at the house. Fascinated, Kyle watched. Water combined with rain, and yet the orange flames still leapt, no doubt fueled by gasoline or kerosene. Black smoke billowed, mingling with the damp air. As soon as a small amount of headway was made, another area would flare up. He wondered if they had some kind of foam.
Nicole returned and slid into the passenger seat. She didn’t appear to notice the rain had soaked her to the skin and ran in rivulets down her face. “They told me to wait here. They didn’t want me to get in the way.” She sounded so defeated, he couldn’t help but reach for her.
She looked up, startled, when he squeezed her wet shoulder. She had to be cold. Carefully, he put baby Jacob in his carrier in the backseat.
“Come here,” he told her, his voice gruff.
“I’m drenched,” she commented, but slid over anyway as much as she could, until her hip bumped up against the console. When she leaned her head on his shoulder, her wet hair quickly dampened his shirt.
But none of that mattered. He wrapped his arm around her and held her as close as he could without asking her to crawl over the console and into his lap.
“Was it lightning?” he asked, even though he pretty much already knew it wasn’t.
“They don’t know.” The defeat in her tone tugged at his heart. “Because of the way it keeps burning, they’re thinking some sort of accelerant was used. As in, this fire was not an accident.”
“I thought so. That pop we heard had to be the first spark. But do you have any idea who would want to do such a thing?” he asked, genuinely puzzled. “Do you really have enemies?”
She sighed. “Not me, but it’s possible Bill did. He wasn’t a nice person. I found credit card receipts that showed he had a mistress. Plus, he was always complaining about people cheating him at pool or cards. Everywhere he went, he seemed to think people were out to get him.” She paused, then sighed again. “But his parents appear to hate me all of a sudden. They’ve threatened to take away Jacob, and are actively searching for a will so they could take away my home and my car.”
“What? Take away Jacob? How would that even be possible?”
She met his gaze, exhaustion making dark circles under her eyes. “They don’t know he’s not Bill’s. We never told them. Bill knew, but he wanted to keep it a secret.”
“Wow.” For the first time, Kyle had conflicted feelings about the man Nicole had married. “It’s nice that he wanted to protect you from gossip.”
“Nice?” Her humorless chuckle made her cough. “Bill didn’t have a nice bone in his body, I’m sorry to say. Unfortunately, I didn’t know that until after we were married. No, his silence was one of my conditions if he wanted me to go through with the marriage.”
“Go through with… Now I’m confused. Are you telling me Bill knew you didn’t want to marry him?”
“Yes.” She hung her head. “He knew I didn’t love him, though I promised to be faithful and loyal. He was well aware that I still grieved for you.”
Stunned, he wasn’t sure how to react. If this was true… “That kind of thing can eat at a man.”
“I know. But I couldn’t lie. Despite what my parents wanted, I couldn’t pretend something I didn’t feel. That wouldn’t have been fair to him or to me.”
Aware they were on slippery ground and in need of a distraction, he pointed at the house. “It looks like they’re making progress. I don’t see any new flames.”
“Oh, good.” She appeared as happy to change the subject as he. “Do you mind if I go check on the progress? Jacob’s still asleep.”
“Not at all.” He watched her go, a new sort of heaviness in his chest. What had she done, once she’d truly believed he’d died? What kind of hell had her marriage been? Had she even considered how Jacob would have felt, growing up? Soon enough, he’d have figured out that there had been no love lost between his parents.
Which brought to mind another question. Had Nicole intended to eventually tell Jacob that Bill was not his father? Would she have even attempted to keep Kyle’s memory alive? And how would that have gone over with Bill, especially since he’d promised to keep Jacob’s true parentage a secret? So much had hinged on the capricious twists of fate.
His gut twisted at the thought of his son growing up calling another man daddy. Another man who’d already resented him because Nicole hadn’t lied about lov
ing his father. Now, in the blink of an eye, all that had changed. Kyle had lived and returned home. Now, he’d be able to love his son, watch him grow up, help take care of him. To think that he and Jacob might never have known one another…the back of his throat ached.
Nicole returned, her sodden shoulders sagging in defeat. “The entire back part of the house is gone,” she said. “And most of the upstairs too. They’re saying it’s not safe to go inside.” When she turned toward him, rain running in rivulets down her face, at first he didn’t see the tears. “Jacob and I have nowhere to go.”
“I can take you to your parents’ house,” he offered.
She started shaking her head before he’d even finished speaking. “They’ve made it clear that we’re not welcome there.”
Stunned, he gaped at her. “But Jacob’s their grandson. And you’re their daughter. Blood.” How many times in his youth had he, the foster child with no real family, envied his friends who had blood ties.
“That doesn’t matter to them.” Her sad grimace tugged at his heart. “They’ve already let me know that to them, Jacob will always be an illegitimate bastard, proof of my sinning, harlot ways.”
If he hadn’t known her and her family so well, he would have thought she was joking. Unfortunately, he knew she was not.
“And your in-laws are out,” he continued. “What about friends? Surely you have some girlfriends who’ll help you out.”
This time, she didn’t even look at him. Instead, she continued to gaze out the window, as though engrossed in watching the firefighters as they began to put up their equipment.
“I have no friends,” she finally said, her voice flat. “Bill made sure of that.”
They sat in silence for a moment, and then one of the firefighters came and tapped on the window. “I’ll be right back,” Nicole murmured, before getting out of the truck.
In the small backseat of his king cab, baby Jacob made a sound in his sleep. Kyle turned, letting his gaze drink in the sight of his son, and knew what he had to do. Having Nicole stay with him in such close proximity would be rough, but he’d done more difficult things. He couldn’t turn her and Jacob away with no place to stay.
