by Lynn, JB
I looked around, not wanting to continue maintaining eye contact with him. “Is Armani here?”
He shook his head. “I’m working.”
My gaze snapped back to him. “Working on what?”
“You know I don’t share what I’m working on, Maggie,” he reminded me. “Otherwise, I might lose my scoop.”
“You’re working a scoop?” I asked, my stomach tightening into knots.
“I’m always working something,” he said. “How’s your dad?”
I did my best to keep my expression neutral. “You know, Archie is Archie.”
He nodded slowly. “Armani likes him.”
“He has that effect on some people,” I admitted.
“And I hear you have another niece,” Jack murmured.
This time, I let some of my distrust show on my face. It was one thing to mess with me. He did not have the right to interfere with my family.
He held up his hands defensively. “I didn’t mean any harm,” he said quickly. “I like Marlene. I was just relaying what Armani had told me.”
“You thought I didn’t know that I have another niece?” I mocked.
“What are you so pissed at me about?” he asked.
I had to bite my tongue from telling him that he was the reporter, and he should figure it out.
Instead, I chose to go with a lie, based on a truth. I jerked a thumb in the direction of The Corset. “I’m not pissed at you,” I lied. “I just caught Loretta making out with somebody who wasn’t Templeton.”
“Oh,” Jack said curiously. I wasn’t sure if that was professional curiosity that I heard in his tone, or if he was just happy to have a bit of gossip about my family before Armani did. “Short guy with glasses?”
I nodded slowly. “You know him?”
“Did you meet him?”
I shook my head. “I got out of there as fast as I could.”
Jack nodded.
“Who is he?” I asked him.
He shrugged. “I just saw him walk in.”
I cocked my head to the side and examined him. I knew he was lying. He knew who Loretta was cheating on Templeton with. What I didn’t understand is why he was keeping it a secret. I wondered if it was part of his scoop.
He grinned. “Wrong tree, Maggie,” he said with a wink.
“What does that mean?”
“He’s not part of my story,” Jack revealed. “But I am doing a bit on somebody else you know.”
“Who?”
“Tony, or maybe Anthony, Delveccio,” he said, watching me carefully.
I knew he was waiting for me to react to the mobster’s name. I kept my gaze on him steady. “I assume Armani has told you that Katie is still friends with his grandson, Dominic?” I replied mildly.
“Yes,” Jack said. “Maybe I’ll interview her.”
I balled my hands into fists and took a threatening step toward him. “You will not talk to my niece, Jack.”
“Easy, Maggie,” he said, stepping back. “I’m just doing a human-interest story on the Delveccio clan.”
I stared at him for a long beat. I didn’t believe him about this, either. “I’m serious, Jack,” I warned. “Do not involve my family in any story about the Delveccios.”
“Touchy subject?”
Again, I fell back on a lie. “You don’t understand how I left things with Angel.”
He cocked his head to the side at the mention of Delveccios’ nephew, Katie’s former manny, the guy I sorta kinda dated. “You lead a complicated life, Maggie Lee.”
I nodded. I had a feeling it was about to get more complicated.
9
“I don’t like it.”
I glanced at the lizard riding on the dashboard. He’d said the same thing three times.
“Nobody likes it,” Piss meowed. She glared at the reptile with her one good eye.
“Maybe you should take him out,” God suggested.
I squeezed the steering wheel. I really wanted to squeeze his little throat. “I’m not killing Jack Stern.”
“But if he’s doing this human-interest story on Delveccio, right when a body has been found,” God raged. “Don’t you think that puts you in danger?”
“I’m always in danger,” I muttered.
“He’s a good man,” Piss murmured.
I nodded. I really do like Jack. I admire his tenacity in fighting for the truth. I just didn’t want him to find out the truth about me.
“Jack is at the bottom of my list of priorities,” I told the lizard.
“What’s at the top of the list?” He flicked his tail impatiently, and I instinctively knew he was going to argue with whatever I said was the thing I wanted to focus on most.
“Delveccio’s body,” I told him.
He stuck out his tongue at me.
“Then, Templeton and Loretta,” I continued, undeterred by his disapproval. “Then, it’s a toss-up between Griswald’s case and Jack Stern’s investigation.”
“Delveccio’s going to be the death of you,” God warned.
“It’ll be fine,” I assured him. “It always ends up being fine.”
“No,” the lizard corrected. “Most of the time it ends up being a ridiculously close call. At some point, your luck is going to run out.”
“And unlike me, you don’t have nine lives,” Piss added.
I focused on the road in front of me. The animals had a point. But it wasn’t like I had any other choices.
I tensed as I noticed red lights flashing behind me.
“It’s a cop,” I muttered, slowly pulling off to the side of the road.
“Is it our cop?” Piss asked, standing up so that she could put her paws on the back of the seat and stare out the rear window.
I shrugged. “Was I speeding?”
“What kind of distracted driver doesn’t know whether or not she was speeding?” God chastised.
“The kind that’s listening to you complain about the same things over and over again,” I snapped back. My gaze never left my rearview mirror as I waited to see whether or not a friendly face would emerge from the unmarked police car behind me, or if I’d have to deal with another law enforcement agent. I let out a sigh of relief as a redhead emerged from the car.
“It’s Patrick,” Piss announced.
“He’ll probably feed you,” God complained.
“No,” Piss mused. “He feeds DeeDee. Not me. Templeton and Zeke are the ones that feed me.”
“He feeds me sometimes, too,” I felt compelled to remind them. In fact, I was really hoping he had something for me to eat now.
“Hop into the back, please, Piss,” I requested as Patrick stepped toward the front passenger door of my car. The cat bounded into the rear seat obligingly.
“Hey, Mags,” my favorite murder mentor greeted as he slid into the now unoccupied seat. He offered me a foil wrapped sandwich. I sniffed the air.
“Taylor ham and egg?”
He nodded. I was very excited. It was unusual that I got to have an entire sandwich to myself. I began to unpeel it as he watched me. “Ooh,” I said with delight. “It’s still steaming.” I eyed him suspiciously. “How did you know to get me a sandwich and how did you manage to make sure it was still hot?”
“I have mad tracking skills, Mags,” he said drily.
I didn’t like the idea that he was keeping track of me, but the sandwich did smell awfully good. I raised it toward my mouth. He quickly reached out and stilled my wrist with his fingers.
I gulped as a tingling sensation shot up my arm, going straight to my core.
“I’ve got to tell you something, first,” he said. “I really don’t want to have to give you the Heimlich maneuver again.”
“He was good at that,” God said with grudging admiration. “Saved your life.”
Patrick glanced at the squeaking lizard on the dashboard and shook his head.
My mouth was watering, as I really wanted to bite into the food that he’d brought so that I could ignore
my body’s response to him. “What is it?” I asked impatiently. If he was going to tell me about Delveccio being found with a body, I wasn’t going to even bother to act shocked.
“It’s Delveccio,” he began slowly.
I rolled my eyes.
“He’s been arrested,” Patrick told me somberly.
It didn’t do any good that he’d saved me from choking on the sandwich. I managed to splutter on my own spit and air. I coughed, and lowered the food to my lap, my appetite suddenly gone.
“What do you mean, arrested?” I asked. “He’s a mob boss. Doesn’t he have, like, the world’s best attorneys or something?”
“Or something,” Patrick said with a shrug. “He’s not untouchable, you know.”
“Well, what are you doing to help him?” I asked.
I saw something flicker in the depths of Patrick’s green eyes. Something I couldn’t identify, but still made me nervous.
“I can’t get involved in this case,” Patrick said. “You shouldn’t, either.”
“Too late,” I confessed. “They’re expecting me to figure out who the body belonged to.”
Patrick shook his head. “It’s a bad idea, Mags. You’ll attract attention to yourself. You can only use the excuse that Katie is friends with Dominic for so long. People are going to get suspicious.”
I nodded. I knew he was right. But at the same time, I had to do the job that had been assigned to me. I couldn’t let Delveccio go to jail. And if I didn’t do what I’d been asked, I had a feeling he might hire someone to take me out. “You’re going to have to help me,” I told Patrick.
He shook his head. “Not me.”
“You have to,” I said.
He grabbed my wrist and squeezed it a little, shaking my arm. “You’re not listening, Mags. This could send us all to prison.”
“Or get you killed,” God added from the dashboard.
10
“The redhead is right.”
Patrick had left the car and God was telling me how much he agreed with the redheaded detective’s assessment.
“I can’t stay away from this,” I told the lizard. “Delveccio is counting on me to help him out.”
“Delveccio is a mob boss. By definition, that means that they expect loyalty but give none in return.”
I shook my head. “He’s been good to me. He’s been good to Katie.”
The lizard, who had looked poised to add something else, flicked his tail and remained silent.
“She would have never recovered if it wasn’t for him,” I pressed on.
“And he would have never helped her if you hadn’t done what you had done,” God reminded me.
“I’m going to help him,” I said in a tone that I hoped conveyed that there would be no more argument about this.
“How?” the lizard asked, sighing.
I shrugged. “I’ll figure it out.”
“You always do, sugar,” Piss piped up from the back seat.
I patted the front passenger seat, silently inviting her up. As she hopped over, she made a point of rubbing her head against my elbow. Her support brought tears to my eyes.
“Where to now?” God asked tiredly.
“Home.” The last thing I wanted to do was arouse Griswald’s suspicions by being away too long. I had to play everything as close to “normal” as I could. We drove the rest of the way back to Herschel’s compound in silence. Each of us lost in our own thoughts.
The second I had parked the car and climbed out, I heard, “Did you hear the news?”
Turning, I saw that my sister Marlene was hovering nearby.
“How was the zoo?” I asked, trying to appear casual.
“The girls had a good time, though Katie insisted on talking to the gorillas for a really long period,” she said, shaking her head. “I love our niece, but she’s a little odd.”
I swallowed a grin, wondering if Katie was able to understand the gorillas.
“Did you hear the news?” Marlene repeated, stepping closer.
I shook my head, and opened my eyes a little wider, trying to appear innocent. “What’s up?”
I assumed she was going to tell me that Delveccio had been arrested, but she caught me off guard by saying, “Templeton caught Loretta cheating.”
I shrugged. “So did I.”
Marlene gasped.
“It’s not a mental picture I want to keep in my collection,” I told her, making a face.
She chuckled. “He’s really upset.”
“I don’t blame him,” I said.
“Maybe you can talk to them, calm them down,” Marlene suggested.
I blinked. “Why me?”
“Templeton likes you.”
“Templeton likes everybody.”
Marlene shrugged. “I’m not so sure he likes Aunt Susan.”
“There are days when I don’t like Aunt Susan,” I admitted.
“Somebody’s got to try to smooth things over,” Marlene said. “I’m nominating you.”
“Well, I’m going to nominate somebody else,” I told her. “I am not getting caught in the middle of this.” Apparently, saying that was tempting the fates because Templeton stalked out of the front door, followed closely by Aunt Loretta.
“You’re just trying to dull my shine,” Loretta screeched at him.
“Honey,” Templeton said sarcastically, “you have not been shining for quite a while.”
Aunt Loretta pulled off one of her stilettos and threw it at Templeton’s head. She had surprisingly good aim and it collided with the base of his skull with a hollow-sounding thunk before falling to the ground.
He whirled around, grabbing the back of his head, and howling in pain. I ran between them, holding up my hands. “No violence!”
“That’s rich, coming from you,” God, who was riding in my bra, mocked.
Loretta already had her other shoe off and was holding it at the ready.
“Put that down,” I shouted at her. “Do not throw that.”
“Get out of the way,” she screamed back.
“Please remember I have sensitive skin and do not do well with violent encounters,” the lizard begged.
“Everyone needs to take some deep breaths,” I told them.
“You should stay out of this, Maggie,” Templeton warned quietly from behind me. I glanced over my shoulder at him. He looked miserable, and I didn’t think it was because of the physical pain.
“I’m a woman with needs,” Loretta said, stamping her now bare feet like a toddler throwing a tantrum.
“I’ve heard that headboard banging against your wall,” I told her. “What needs is Templeton not fulfilling for you?”
Marlene tittered and scurried off.
“Traitor,” I muttered under my breath, jealous that she could escape when I was stuck in the middle of this fiasco.
Loretta put her hand on her hip and said, “I have emotional needs, too, you know.”
“I’m not here to play marriage counselor,” I said. “I just want you to both calm down a little and figure this out.”
“There’s nothing to figure out,” Templeton said.
Again, I glanced at him. He looked angry and determined.
“I don’t think anybody should be making any hasty decisions,” I told him.
“You think I should wait around to decide that she’s a cheating heartbreaker?” he asked. “Is it something I should deliberate over?”
I winced at the bitterness in his tone.
“Do something, Maggie,” Piss meowed. “He’s the only one who knows how to pour my cream.” While she spoke, she wound herself between Templeton’s legs, trying to distract and calm him.
Griswald stepped out of the house behind Loretta. “Did you hear?”
I couldn’t even feign an expression of innocence. I just gulped convulsively.
“Who told you?” Loretta asked, turning on him.
“I saw it on the news,” Griswald admitted.
“It’s on the news?”
Templeton groaned. “What did you do, Loretta, give an interview about your infidelity?”
“What?” Griswald asked, caught off guard.
“That’s the news,” Loretta said. “Templeton’s bent out of shape because I’ve been driven to find emotional fulfillment in the arms of someone else.”
“It sure didn’t look like emotional fulfillment when you had your hand down his pants,” Templeton snapped.
I nodded in agreement. I’d witnessed lust, not love.
“I was just talking about the fact that it’s on the news that Delveccio’s been arrested,” Griswald said weakly.
11
“Oh my goodness,” Loretta said, throwing her hands up in the air. “I almost forgot to watch myself on the news!” Without even a backwards glance in Templeton’s direction, she hurried back inside.
“Oh, I’ve got to see this,” Griswald muttered, following her.
I turned to face Templeton. “I’m sorry,” I told him.
He cocked his head to the side. “For what? Did you know what she was doing?”
I shook my head. “Not until I walked into The Corset today. I’m sorry that she’s treating you like this.”
He shrugged. “I knew what I was getting into with her.” He gave me a weak smile. “You win some, you lose some, right?”
Impulsively, I closed the distance between us and gave him a tight hug. “I don’t want to lose you,” I admitted.
“I can’t stay, Maggie,” he said. “Not when things are like this.”
“Where will you go?” I asked.
He shrugged. “Probably a cheap hotel for a couple of days. Maybe if things cool off, she’ll reconsider and…”
I nodded. “I hope so.”
“You should go watch the news,” he said, taking me by the shoulders and turning me around so that I faced the house again.
“I don’t want to,” I told him.
“But you should,” he said. “If you can at least tell her that you saw it, she won’t repeat the story to you over and over.”
