The Perfect Boss

by Brenda Ford

  “Please, for the love of God, tell me that they have caught her. It’s driving me mad sitting here, waiting for answers.” I push myself in to a sitting position. “I will calm down about getting out of here if that’s the case.”

  “They have caught her, yes. She has been locked up and it doesn’t look like she will be getting out.”

  Relief floods me. “That’s good. I don’t want to worry about her escaping. It’s the last thing I need.”

  “There is a bit more to it than that.” Alex’s hesitation makes me worry. Instantly, I began to panic, thinking the absolute worst. I imagine everyone in my life being hurt by her before she was finally caught. Alex can forget it if he wants me to calm down after that. “She was found at Tami’s house.”

  “Oh my God, is Tami hurt?” I demand. “Did she get to her again? Is that what the threat was about?”

  “Er, I don’t know. She didn’t hurt Tami, but she did have a gun with her…”

  My blood turns to ice, my limbs to lead. I wouldn’t be able to move for anything right now. “A gun?”

  “Yes. So, while I don’t know what the threat was, she was clearly intending to hurt Tami. It’s a good job that someone overheard and called the cops because now she won’t be able to hurt her.”

  I can hardly breathe. It doesn’t matter how furiously I suck in deep; nothing is working. My lungs are ragged and raw, stressed out. I keep seeing Tami being shot over and over again. Her body exploding, blood everywhere, and Mari letting out that horrible cackle of hers as she gets what she wants at last.

  “Tami,” I gasp out through the painful breaths. “I need to speak to her.”

  “I thought you might, so I brought my cell phone for you to check in on her.”

  I grab the cell phone hungrily and dial her number. I don’t think until I actually hear her speaking, I will be able to accept that she’s okay and alive. I know that Alex would have told me if not, but still…

  “Hello?” Oh God, I almost crumble as I hear her. She doesn’t sound hurt. “Alex?”

  “No, it’s me. It’s Brad, I just… I want to talk to you, I want to… to… are you okay?”

  She pauses for a beat too long before answering. “I’m fine, thank you. Are you okay?”

  “I am, I’m much better now I have spoken to you.” I clutch the phone tighter to my ear. “Did you get caught up in more Maria drama? I’m so sorry about that. I feel so useless here.”

  “It’s okay. She’s locked up now, so I don’t need to worry anymore.”

  I don’t like the way that her voice sounds. She’s all distant and cold, a bit like she’s hurting. It isn’t supposed to be this way; I need to see her so I can sort this out properly.

  “Please come in to the hospital,” I beg her. “Please, come and talk to me. I need to see you.”

  “I… I…” She doesn’t seem to know what to say which only makes it worse. She’s definitely trying to pull away from me because this is too hard for her. “Yes, okay I will come and see you as soon as I can.”

  “You will?” That’s great. I am still hopeless over the phone, but face to face, I can solve this. “Okay great. I would just feel so much better that I can talk to you. I think… I think we need to talk.”

  “Yes,” she whispers back. “Me too. I think there is a lot that we need to say.”

  “Like what?” I know that I should wait, but her tone freaks me out. “What do we need to discuss?”

  “I… I think that it’s better if we talk face to face. I won’t be long. Okay? Then we can talk.”

  I don’t know what to say to this. I part my lips, but no words come out. Not that it matters. Tami is already gone. She has hung up because she can’t seem to stand talking to me for another second longer. This isn’t good. Me and her might be in some serious trouble here. Everything might end. I have considered that as a possibility before, but now it’s a bit more real, meaning I need to digest it somehow. But how can I consider losing the only woman that I have ever loved? How can I sort through this in my mind? It’s giving me a bout of anxiety even now and she hasn’t confirmed that we are definitely done yet. I’m going to fall apart.

  “All sorted?” Alex asks me with anxiety in his eyes. He must have heard just enough to know that it isn’t good news. “I mean, she said that she would come, right? That’s something.”

  “What do you think about all of this, Alex?” I need to know, to hear the opinion of another person.

  “In regards to what?” he answers cautiously. “I don’t know if I like where this is going.”

  “I don’t know.” I shrug helplessly. “All of me. Me with someone so much younger…”

  “Hey, you can’t help who you fall in love with,” he snaps back almost defensively. “The age difference is nothing if you have love for one another and it really seems like you do.”

  “Yeah, I know,” I reply sadly. “I definitely do, but I don’t know if this whole mess has put her off me. I shouldn’t have a crazy ex – who isn’t even really an ex – crawling out of the wood work like this.”

  “How would you feel if the situation was reversed and it was her ex?”

  “Well, I would defend her,” I shoot back instantly. “And I would take care of her, but it’s different, isn’t it?”

  “Why?” Alex leans back and gives me a strange look. “What makes it so different?”

  “Her age. She’s too young to be dealing with this kind of crap.”

  “What’s the issue with her age exactly? Why does it keep coming back to that? Does she feel much younger when you are together, so you are just using this as an excuse or something?”

  “No way. She doesn’t feel young at all. It feels right. There’s no issue when we are together. It’s only when shit like this happens that I start to consider it. I get all up in my head about it.”

  “Then there really isn’t an issue, Brad.” Alex smiles. “If it’s right when the two of you are together then there really isn’t anything to worry about. You are the only one living your life. Not other people.”

  I get it. He speaks a lot of sense actually. I shouldn’t be worried about the opinions of other people…

  “Tami though,” I say sadly. “I am worried about what she thinks. The fact that she hasn’t been here, and she sounded all distant on the phone. She might be pulling away because of Maria.”

  “There isn’t really anything you can do about that, unfortunately,” Alex replies sadly. “You can’t control what other people want. The only thing you can do is control your actions.”

  “What do you mean by that?” I ask curiously, wondering how this brother seems to be wiser than me too. They are all a lot younger than me, yet they seem to have so much more experience in love than me.

  “I just mean that you need to show her that you’re a good man, show her how worthwhile you are. Then if that isn’t enough, just treat the whole thing as a learning experience for next time.”

  I know for sure that I don’t want there to be a next time. I don’t want there to be anyone else but Tami, but Alex is right. It isn’t just about what I want. It’s up to Tami too. If she has been pushed away from me, I can’t force her to want to be with me. I just have to accept it for what it is.

  “Urgh, that sounds hard,” I groan. “How do you move on from someone you love?”

  “I don’t have the answer to that one, I’m afraid. If I did… well, things would be different.”

  What is going on with him? His whole demeanor has changed. “Don’t tell me the rock star is in love? Unrequited love at that. Aren’t you supposed to be out there sleeping with all the groupies?”

  I almost laugh until I see the sad expression on his face. Uh oh, have I stumbled on something here? I didn’t mean to make him upset as well. We only need one drama at a time in our family!

  “I just don’t have any answers for you, Brad, that’s all. You’ll have to wait until Tami gets here.”

  “If she ever shows up. I honestly don’
t know if she will. The mood she was in…”

  “She will turn up,” my brother tells me confidently. “If everything that you have said is true, how could she not? She will be here, and you will have the conversation you so desperately need.”

  It could go either way, that’s what I’m going to have to accept before she even turns up. I can’t become an emotional wreck just because I might not get what I want. I’ll have to behave accordingly so I don’t make poor Tami feel even worse about the shitty situation that we find ourselves in.

  Oh God, how will I act, I ask myself desperately while fisting the bed sheets between my fingers. What will I do? What will I say? How will I hold myself together until she is gone?

  “Do you want anything?” Alex asks, distracting me from my thoughts. “I was just thinking about heading to the store.”

  “Something to drink would be awesome,” I reply distractedly. “I’ve had enough water for a life time.”

  He heads out of the room, probably because he knows that I need some time to think, and that’s exactly what I do. I dig deep in to myself and try to work out who I will be now if Tami doesn’t want me. She has changed me, opened up my eyes, made me feel things that I didn’t know were possible.

  “Where are you, Tami?” I ask frustrated in to the air. “Please come and put me out of my misery already.”

  But as I glance at the door, it remains annoyingly empty, leaving me in this horrible place of unknowing anticipation for just a little while longer. I really do hope that she turns up soon before I go crazy.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Tami

  Tears roll down my cheeks as I stand at the doorway just looking at Brad. He hasn’t yet noticed me so I can just look at him for a moment and watch the man that I love… the man that I’m not sure I can have.

  All of a sudden, he senses me looking at him and his eyes snap towards me. His eyes examine me closely, I can see him trying to unpick me, to work out which way this is going to go. I don’t know what he’s going to find since I’m not sure myself, but I let him continue to look because he seems to need this.

  “Tami,” he eventually whispers. “You’re here. You came. I wasn’t sure that you were going to.”

  “Yes, of course I came. I was always going to come. I’m sorry it took me so long,”

  He indicates for me to take a seat, which I do. My heart pounds in my mouth as I look at him. Nerves get the better of me and my fingers twirl around and around one another. I’m awkward now, I don’t like being this way around Brad, it’s horrible. But I don’t know what I’m going to say to him.

  Ruby made me come. That’s the issue. She told me that I need to be here. Much as she’s right, it’s scary.

  “Are you okay?” he asks quietly. “She didn’t hurt you again, did she?”

  “No.” I shake my head. “No, she didn’t hurt me. She wanted to though.”

  His eyes fall closed. I can see the serious distress on his face. “I’m sorry, Tami. That’s horrible.”

  “Well, she is locked away now, so I guess she isn’t to worry about anymore.”

  I can hardly stand to look at him. My eyes fix on a spot on the floor while I wait for him to answer me. I suppose there isn’t a lot for him to say. What can he say? It is better now that Maria is locked up, but the damage that she has created has had lasting effects. We are in a bit of a mess here, aren’t we?

  “I meant what I said,” Brad whispers quietly. “I really do love you. I hope you know that.”

  This is what I have been so deathly afraid of. Upon hearing those words, I suck in a deep breath of panicked air. It’s nice, I do like knowing that he feels the same way that I do. It does bring me some comfort, but not as much as I thought it would. I assumed that was my only issue, but now hearing that he loves me gives me a sense of coldness. It isn’t everything. It makes me clearly see that we have more issues between us.

  “Yes, I love you too,” I whisper back, my cheeks wetting by the second. “I love you very much.”

  “I’m not even worried that it’s very quick,” he continues. “We know what is right for us. I might have said that I did it in the middle of a stressful moment, but it came from a very real place.”

  I nod along silently, agreeing with him. My fingers clutch around the seat beneath me, my knuckles turning white because I’m holding onto it so hard. My head spins with dizziness as I try to consider just which way this is going. I cannot believe that I have come here to possibly put an end to this.

  “Come here,” Brad begs me. “Please just hug me. I want to hold you for a moment.”

  I rise to my feet automatically, needing that as well. I have to practically climb on to the bed to hug him and immediately the warmth of his body floods me. His so hot, so comforting, so loving…

  “Kiss me?” he asks, sounding unsure of himself. This fear draws me in. I can’t resist doing what he asks. I lean my lips up towards him and kiss him, my pulse racing, my whole body throbbing with need as I do. I want to follow what my body wants; I need to just cling to him and never let go. I don’t want to move…

  But as soon as my eyes fall closed, I practically jump. The memory of Maria outside my home, threatening my life, comes flooding back. I’m in my bed, hiding under the sheets, utterly terrified.

  “Oh God, sorry, are you okay.” Brad holds my arms, trying to keep me steady.

  “Yeah, it’s just… all of this.” I lean back. “It’s just freaking me out, that’s all.”

  “I know.” His shoulders slump forwards, he looks dejected and sad. “I know it must be hard for you. That’s why I’m not surprised that you haven’t been in to visit me. It doesn’t shock me that you’re too freaked out to have anything to do with me at the moment. If I were you, I wouldn’t either. I mean, you’re too young for all of this drama, aren’t you? You could be in a much simpler relationship than this one.”

  He’s testing me, trying to figure out just how I feel about this, and I honestly don’t have an answer for him. I could be in a more straight forward relationship. I have been thinking that myself. But I don’t know if it’s what I want. I haven’t really worked that much out yet. There are pros and cons to every side of it. Every time I think I know which way I might be going; I change my mind all over again.

  “Maria is crazy,” he continues, obviously very uncomfortable with the silence. “She is someone that I shouldn’t have ever been with. Even for a few days. I mean, I thought that I was very clear when I explained to her that it wasn’t ever going to be anything serious. Clearly, I made a mistake there. What I should have done is run in the opposite direction. I never should have acted as I did back when I was young and foolish.”

  It’s time to find out exactly what happened in to his past. I haven’t been interested before; I was only concerned with what we have right now. But his past is continually creeping in to our presence so I need to know.

  “So, there were a lot of one night stands then? A lot of people who could crawl out of the wood work?”

  He parts his lips and for a second, I think that he might be about to reassure me as usual because he doesn’t want to let me go… but thankfully he thinks about this and he decides to be honest with me.

  “I have had a lot of one night stands and short flings, yes,” he confesses. These words make a bitter bile swirl around my body. “I never wanted to get connected to someone seriously because I have always been looking after my brothers and trying to keep the family business afloat. I haven’t ever liked anyone enough to bring them in to my life properly. Until you, of course.” I remain silent. Right now, I don’t know how to respond to that. “I have always been honest. Or tried to be, at least. I never wanted there to be any confusion like this.”

  “But it’s possible?” I ask curiously. “There might be more crazy exes coming out to get us?”

  “I would like to say no, but I suppose I can’t be one hundred percent about that.”

  I lean back and look at him, narrowi
ng my eyes curiously. That’s a serious answer to me, it spells a lot of trouble. “I can be a hundred percent sure that it won’t ever be my ex coming after us.”

  “You can’t be that sure,” he argues, causing me to roll my eyes. “You can’t. No one can.”

  “Okay fine. Ninety nine percent sure. He wouldn’t come after me. But it seems like the women in your life might. I have to be honest, that really scares me. I don’t want to end up in that situation again.”

  “No, I don’t want that either. I don’t want to end up like that. It was a damn nightmare.”

  We sit in silence for a little while, neither of us looking at one another. The risk is just too high, that’s what the issue is. The terror that someone might come after us yet again. Brad must be able to feel it just as much as I do. I can’t help but wonder if his lungs have squeezed as tightly as mine. Does he feel like the world is falling out from underneath his feet? That the foundation he has been existing upon has vanished and now he’s just falling endlessly with no end in sight? Because Maria being locked away and Brad loving me isn’t quite enough. I still don’t feel safe enough to fall in to this willingly and happily. I’m full of sheer terror.

  “Do you… need some time?” Brad asks me, sounding resigned now. “Some time to think?”

  Immediately, the fog of fear dissipates a bit. The idea that I can just take a step away from this and just think. I don’t know if I am willing to let go of Brad forever, but I also can’t be in this right now.

  “I think I might need to,” I say with just as much sadness as Brad uses. “Just for a little while. I’m just… I’m sorry, Brad, I just need to think. This has truly shaken me to the core. I don’t know how to digest this.”

  “I understand.” He nods, but I can see from his body language that he isn’t really agreeable. “I get it. I don’t blame you at all. Will you just… contact me once you have had some time to think?”

  A little sob flies out. This is gutting, it’s devastating, I hate that it’s become this way. I didn’t want this, it’s what Maria wanted, not us, but I have to think about what I need as well. I need to be careful with me. I can’t lose myself in all of this and ever since I started to get those threatening messages, I’ve been slipping away.