Don't Breathe

by Heleyne Hammersley

  ‘They’re here!’ her mum yelled as Annie was completing a final weigh-in of her rucksack. It was just under twelve kilos which didn’t feel too bad; she’d split a tent with Jess, taking the flysheet and poles, and scrounged a lightweight sleeping mat from one of her other friends. The heaviest items were her sleeping bag and the two-litre bottle of water that Penny had insisted that she take.

  ‘Coming!’ Annie shouldered the pack and tottered down the stairs to the living room where her mum was holding back one of the curtains and peering out of the window, frowning.

  ‘Who’s that in the back of the car?’

  Annie’s heart sank. Keely had said that Tom would be the last one of the group to be picked up but she could see his messily gelled blond hair through one of the rear windows.

  ‘It’s Tom Cleaver. You didn’t tell me he was going on this trip. You didn’t mention any boys.’

  Annie made a mental note to pay Keely back – maybe a spider in her sleeping bag – before looking her mum directly in the eyes.

  ‘I didn’t know he was coming,’ she lied. ‘One of the others must have invited him. I always suspected Jess had a thing for him. That’s so annoying – it was supposed to be a girly trip.’

  Her mum was looking sceptical and, for a second, Annie thought she’d gone too far with her protestations.

  ‘Well, keep away from him if you can. He’s trouble.’

  She’d got away with it. She could breathe again. It wasn’t like she had anything to hide – there wasn’t anything going on with Tom – but she was hoping that might change during the holiday.

  She wasn’t sure when she’d started to think about Tom ‘like that’ as her friends would have put it. She felt like she’d known him all her life – he was just another of the annoying lads in her year, but that had changed when they’d started sixth form. After a brief flirtation with Harley Morton – the main attraction being that he was new to the school – Annie’s attention had been drawn to Tom. Surprisingly he was interested in politics and music, and her. And there was something very appealing about being the focus of his attention. Of course, she’d been teased by some of the girls and shunned by others because she’d not been the only one to notice the change in the head’s son, so she’d spent four months keeping him at arm’s length. Her focus had been her mock exams – her grades, her escape plan – but, exams over, she promised herself that she’d explore the possibility of a relationship with Tom despite, or perhaps because of, her mum’s objections.

  ‘I’m off,’ Annie said, tightening the shoulder straps of her rucksack; even though she only had to carry it as far as the car the gesture seemed to add intent to her statement.

  ‘Give us a hug, then.’ Her mum stepped forward and held her arms out for what turned into an awkward embrace due to the heavy rucksack. ‘And text me.’

  ‘I will. There might not be much signal out in the wilds of Northumberland though.’

  And then she was free. Out of the house and walking towards the car where Keely’s mum was waiting next to the open boot.

  The drive to Carlisle was spent listening to Keely’s pleas for forgiveness and Tom’s explanation of why he’d been picked up early. Keely’s mum seemed to find the whole thing hilarious and, not for the first time, Annie found herself wishing that her own mum was a bit more chilled.

  By the time they were standing on the pedestrian bridge over the River Eden in Rickerby Park, Keely was forgiven and their small group had split into two pairs – Jess and Keely in front with the guide book and the map, Annie and Tom following, deep in conversation.

  ‘I’m not sure about these boots,’ Tom said, stopping and looking round as though he were in a shoe shop and wanted to try on a different pair.

  ‘Blisters?’ Annie asked. Her own feet were feeling a bit sore, but she didn’t want to admit it to the others. They’d made good time for the first few miles and she didn’t want to slow them down.

  ‘Not sure. I think I need to have a look.’

  ‘Hey!’ Annie yelled to Jess and Keely who were a couple of hundred yards ahead. She made the ‘time out’ sign with her hands and felt instantly stupid. Who did that?

  The two girls wandered back and stood over Tom who was sitting on the grass verge examining his left heel.

  ‘Bloody blister!’ he announced. ‘Anybody got any plasters?’

  ‘I’ve got some blister plasters. My mum insisted.’ Annie took off her rucksack and rummaged around in the top pocket. ‘You’ll have to put it on yourself though – no way I’m touching your feet.’

  Jess sniggered and muttered something to Keely about ‘touching something else’. Annie thought about protesting but decided there really was no point. She did fancy Tom so why be embarrassed?

  The repair seemed to hold and they managed to reach the first campsite – behind a pub in a gloomy dip in the path – only an hour later than planned, leaving plenty of time for dinner and to share the two cans of cider that Tom had nobly offered to carry for twelve miles.

  And then it was time for bed.

  Annie had spent the last two miles of the walk working out how to get from her own tent to Tom’s without disturbing Jess. Should she wait until the other girl fell asleep and then sneak out? She could pretend that she needed the loo and not go back, hoping that Jess would have fallen back to sleep. What was the point of pretending though?

  She took a last swig of cider, marched over to the tent she was supposed to be sleeping in and grabbed her sleeping bag.

  ‘Judge me in the morning, bitches,’ she said, grinning at the shocked faces of her friends as she unzipped Tom’s tent and crawled inside.

  Annie avoided Jess and Keely for as long as she could the next morning. She didn’t feel embarrassed or ashamed, she just didn’t want to face their inevitable questions. They’d want to know if she and Tom had ‘done it’ but Annie didn’t feel the need to explain that, while they’d not done ‘it’, they’d done ‘stuff’.

  It had been Tom who’d suggested they wait. He’d argued that the campsite wasn’t exactly private and, as neither of them had condoms, it wasn’t the ideal situation and was far from romantic with their friends only a few yards away. Annie had been surprised by his consideration and concern and was glad that neither of them had felt pressured.

  ‘So?’ Jess asked, pouncing on Annie as she left the shower block. ‘How was it?’

  Annie smiled. ‘Nice.’

  ‘Nice? No fireworks? No screaming for Jesus?’

  ‘Jess, it’s private and I’m not going to discuss the details. Tom’s lovely and we respect each other.’

  ‘So, you just cuddled?’ Jess’s dark brown eyes sparkled with glee.

  Annie grinned again and flicked Jess with the end of her damp towel.

  ‘Ouch! Cow!’ Jess stepped back, keeping Annie at arm’s length.

  ‘Oh, shit!’ Annie grabbed for her, but she was just too late. Jess missed the last step down from the door to the shower block and landed awkwardly in the dust next to the flagstone path.

  ‘You okay?’ Annie asked crouching next to her friend, dismayed to see that the other girl was close to tears.

  ‘I don’t think so,’ Jess said. ‘I went over on my ankle.’ She got tentatively to her feet and tried to walk back to her tent but only managed a single tiny step before sitting down again.

  ‘Ow! Ow! Ow! I think it’s fucked.’

  Annie looked around trying to work out a way to help but, if Jess couldn’t walk, there wasn’t much she could do. Jess was a head taller and a good few pounds heavier than her.

  ‘Hang on. I’ll get Tom.’

  She ran back to the tent and threw herself through the open front, breathlessly explaining the situation to a still-half-asleep Tom.’

  ‘Is it sprained?’

  ‘How the fuck should I know?’

  He flinched and Annie smiled apologetically, unsure whether it was the profanity or the volume that had offended him. ‘Sorry. I’m just worried. She’
s sitting on the ground and I can’t get her up.’

  ‘Okay, give me a minute.’

  Annie sat on the grass outside the tent and reflected on the previous night as she waited for him to get dressed. It had been ‘nice’. She’d felt comfortable and sensed that Tom felt the same. But what did it mean? Were they boyfriend and girlfriend now? Or was it a one off?

  ‘Right, where is she?’ Tom scrambled to his feet and held out a hand to pull Annie up.

  ‘Near the shower block,’ she said, keeping a firm grip on Tom’s hand as she pulled him across the campsite.

  Keely had surfaced from her own tent by the time they got back to Jess. Dressed in a T-shirt and baggy grey pyjama bottoms, blonde hair sticking up at odd angles, she was squatting next to her friend frowning with concern.

  ‘What the hell did you do?’ she asked, standing up, hands on hips. ‘Jess says you hit her.’

  ‘No, I–’ Annie said but Jess interrupted.

  ‘Stop being such a drama queen, Keely. That’s not what I said. Annie flicked me with her towel and I moved to get out of the way. It was an accident.’

  ‘Yeah, well,’ Keely glanced down at Annie and Tom’s entwined hands. ‘It looks like the holiday’s over so you two can go home and get some privacy.’

  Tom ignored her and knelt down next to Jess. ‘Can you move your foot?’ he asked.

  Jess nodded and gave her toes an obliging wiggle.

  ‘What about your ankle. Can you bend it?’

  ‘A bit,’ Jess said, grimacing as she demonstrated. Tom took her foot in his hands and moved it from side to side.

  ‘How does that feel?’

  ‘Stiff and sore.’

  ‘And you can’t put any weight on it?’

  Jess shook her head.

  ‘It’s probably a sprain but you need to get it checked out. We should probably get you to A&E.’ Tom slid his phone out of his pocket. ‘No signal. Bugger!’

  ‘There’s a payphone at reception,’ Annie said. ‘We could ring for an ambulance.’

  Jess shook her head. ‘No. If it’s a sprain I’d just be wasting their time. I’ll ring my mum. She doesn’t work on Friday and she said she’d be on standby in case we needed anything.’

  Annie was struck again by the difference between her life and those of her friends, with their helpful, approachable parents. Maybe it was a teacher thing; she didn’t have the impression that Tom was especially close to his dad even though it had only been the two of them since his mum had died when Tom was in year ten.

  ‘Okay then,’ Tom stood up and brushed his hands together decisively. ‘Keely, go and ring Jess’s mum. Annie – let’s get Jess back to her tent and then start packing up.’

  ‘Guys,’ Jess protested. ‘Just because I can’t carry on, it doesn’t mean you three have to go home. I’d feel awful if I ruined your holiday.’

  ‘And we’d feel bad if you weren’t here to enjoy it,’ Keely said. ‘Look, I’ll ring your mum and, hopefully, she can take us all home. We can do this again when your foot’s better – we’ve still got five weeks of school holidays to look forward to. It’s not like we’d got far anyway. And I don’t think these two are going to be very good company. I don’t know about you, Jess, but I don’t want to be kept awake by Annie and Tom “exploring” their new relationship.’

  ‘Hey!’ Annie protested but she noticed Tom blushing. Whatever this was between them, it obviously meant something to him. At least if they went home it would be much easier to get some privacy.

  Two hours later they turned in to Annie’s street. Jess’s mum had dropped her daughter off at A&E with her older sister who was home from university and then driven the three of them home. Keely had texted her mum, but Annie and Tom hadn’t bothered. It was the school holidays – why disturb them? Annie was the first to be dropped off and she’d spent the previous fifteen minutes trying to work out how to ask Tom about getting together later that day. He’d not said much on the way back and she didn’t want to appear pushy but a casual ‘see you around’ didn’t seem like an appropriate way to leave things.

  Just as she was about to suggest a drink later, Tom sat up straight in his seat. ‘What the hell?’

  ‘What’s up?’ Annie asked, peering through the car window, trying to work out what had upset him.

  ‘That’s my dad’s car.’

  ‘Where?’

  ‘In your mum’s driveway.’

  ‘Maybe he called round to talk about work.’

  Tom shook his head. ‘Your mum’s car’s parked behind his. He’s not just called round. I bet he’s been there all night. I thought he was seeing somebody.’

  ‘No. I’m sure there’s an explanation,’ Annie said but her eyes were drawn to the closed curtains in her mum’s bedroom. Why was she still in bed at this time of day?

  ‘Of course there’s an explanation,’ Tom said. ‘My dad’s fucking your mum. I can’t deal with this.’

  Jess’s mum stopped in front of Annie’s house and Tom barely waited for the car to stop moving before he jumped out, grabbing his rucksack from the boot.

  ‘Tom. Can we meet up later? Or tomorrow?’

  ‘I’m not sure that’s a good idea,’ Tom had said, shrugging on his pack. ‘I need time to think. I’ll call you.’

  But, of course, he didn’t.

  8

  ‘Cleaver,’ Cam snapped into the phone. He’d sprinted back from the sixth-form common room and held the receiver away from his face as he tried to catch his breath.

  ‘Listen carefully,’ the voice at the other end of the line said. ‘Lives depend on what you choose to do next. And there’s one life in particular that I don’t think you’ll want to risk.’

  They knew that his son was in the classroom. That confirmed his fears – for some reason this was about him.

  ‘Let the kids go,’ Cam said. ‘This has nothing to do with them. It’s obviously me you want.’

  Around him he noted puzzled expressions. The police inspector, Pearson, was glaring at him and shaking his head and Penny Bainbridge looked like she was about to cry.

  ‘What makes you think that?’ the voice asked, and Cam could hear from his tone that the man was smiling. ‘There might be any number of reasons why we’re here. Guilty conscience, Cleaver?’

  ‘Look, if it’s not me you’re after, then tell me what you want.’

  ‘Well, the first thing we need is some supplies. First aid. I’m afraid there’s been a small… mishap.’

  Cam could feel his hand shaking as he stared at the phone as if it might try to bite him. ‘What sort of mishap?’ he croaked, fearing the worst. ‘Is somebody hurt?’

  Silence. He felt the tension of everyone around him.

  ‘Who’s hurt? What’s happened?’ Cam’s emotions were spiralling out of control and he knew that Pearson was angry with him, but he needed to know. His son was in that room.

  Silence.

  ‘Okay. I’ll get the supplies. What do you need?’

  Pearson was shaking his head violently. He grabbed the signing-in book from the reception counter and scrawled something across the blank space at the bottom of the open page.

  NO! WE NEGOTIATE. WE NEED MORE TIME.

  Cam turned his back on the police officer. He wouldn’t be ordered around or manipulated. Not when Tom could be hurt. ‘What do you need?’ he asked again.

  ‘A first aid kit. Make sure there’s gauze and bandages. Some sort of antiseptic cream or iodine, something like that. And painkillers.’

  Gauze and bandages. That suggested blood. Had somebody been shot?

  ‘I’ll ring back in ten minutes with instructions.’

  ‘Hang on! What’s happened? Who’s hurt?’

  A sigh at the other end of the line. ‘It’s a bit late to be worried now. I don’t know what sort of place you think you’re running but what sort of school allows kids to bring knives in?’

  ‘What? A knife…’

  The line was dead.

  ‘Now what?�
�� Cam asked, turning to Pearson. ‘Do we give him what he wants or do you want more time to negotiate? Are you willing to risk it? Somebody’s hurt and if we don’t get some supplies over there in the next few minutes, I know who I’m going to hold responsible.’

  Pearson opened his mouth and then closed it again in a gesture that reminded Cam of a hungry carp in a garden pond. And what the hell was going on with Penny? He’d have expected her full support, but she kept disappearing. It was as if she didn’t care about her own kid.

  He turned to Ruth Warnesford. ‘First aid cupboard. Check what’s in there. They’re asking for medical supplies. We need to find gauze, bandages, antiseptic, painkillers.’

  ‘We can’t administer painkillers,’ Ruth whispered. ‘Guidelines state–’

  ‘Fuck the guidelines!’ Cam yelled. ‘He gets what he wants because he’s got my son. I don’t care if it’s bloody cocaine – he can have all the drugs we can find. Penny – go through your handbag – I know you take codeine, find some! And stop wandering off. Don’t you care that this nutter’s got your daughter?’

  For the first time since they’d discovered the intruders, Penny Bainbridge looked him square in the eyes and, if he hadn’t known better, Cam could have sworn that there was the ghost of a smile hovering around the lips that, just moments ago, had been tight with fear. ‘I’m sorry, Cam. I know I’m supposed to set an example, but I didn’t think it would matter so close to Christmas.’

  ‘What? What the fuck are you talking about?’

  ‘Annie. I gave her permission to take the day off to go shopping in Carlisle. She’s still got some birthday money and she wanted to get some new clothes for the sixth-form party.’

  Cam struggled to process Penny’s words. She’d given her daughter the day off? How could she? She knew how it would look. All staff who had children in the school were told that if they allowed their kids time off for anything other than illness it would be marked as ‘unauthorised’ just like any other student. No exceptions.

  ‘She’s just been so down lately, after all that business with Tom in the summer.’