Don't Breathe

by Heleyne Hammersley

  ‘So, now what?’ Curly asked. ‘The kid could be anywhere. She’ll have found somebody to help and they’ll have rung the police.’

  ‘Somebody will already have rung the police,’ Larry said with a smile. ‘I’d think there’ll be a couple of officers on site by now.’ He seemed to find this fact highly amusing, but his colleagues clearly didn’t share his mirth.

  ‘Then we should go,’ Mo said. ‘Cut our losses.’

  ‘And say what?’ Larry snapped. ‘I’m not going to carry the can for your incompetence. No. We stick to our instructions.’

  Mo shook his head. ‘It’s all right for you. You’re like fucking Teflon – nothing sticks. But what about us two?’ He nodded at Curly.

  ‘Do as you’re told and you’ll be fine.’

  ‘What about the other one?’ Curly asked. ‘New boy. He was supposed to be watching the door. How did the kid get past him?’

  ‘Dunno. She might have got out of a window in one of the classrooms.’

  Curly appeared to give this some thought.

  ‘But he’d have seen her run across the playground. Or I’d have seen her if she’d come round the back.’

  ‘I haven’t a fucking clue!’ Mo yelled. ‘I don’t even know what he’s doing here. He was practically–’

  ‘Enough!’ Larry raised his free hand, keeping the other firmly on his weapon. ‘Ears everywhere.’ He looked pointedly at the students. The other two nodded, clearly chastened, and again Donna was reminded of naughty children. It was obvious that Larry had all the power in this group. And what was wrong with the other man – the one they’d left guarding the door?

  She mulled over the words that she’d found most interesting. Larry was convinced that the police would already be in school – rescue was possible, if they could just get into the humanities block.

  ‘Hey,’ she said. ‘We’ve forgotten about Tom. He still needs medical supplies.’

  Jess looked up at her and gave the smallest of nods.

  ‘How’s he doing, Jess?’

  ‘Not great,’ the girl said. ‘He’s lost a fair bit of blood and he’s in a lot of pain.’ Her voice was unsteady but audible, convincing.

  ‘We need to get help,’ Donna said. ‘He’s getting worse and a few sanitary towels aren’t going to help. If he dies, everything changes.’ She didn’t need to explain what she meant. In front of her, Harley lowered his head to the desk.

  ‘Nobody else leaves,’ Larry said.

  ‘Nobody needs to. Ring reception again. They’ll have got some first aid organised. Somebody can bring it over.’ Donna prayed that ‘somebody’ would be a police officer disguised as a member of staff.

  Larry reached into the pocket of his tactical vest and took out his phone. He grabbed it tightly in his large fist and stared at Tom and Jess, his uncertainty obvious.

  ‘Don’t let him die,’ Jess begged.

  Larry jabbed his thumb at the phone and raised it to his ear. ‘Cleaver,’ he barked. ‘Your son’s hurt. We still need the first aid. Wait five minutes and then send it across.’

  He waited, listening. ‘No. Not you. Send that woman who works on the front desk. Warnesford or whatever her name is. She can drop it at the door to the building. If you try anything dodgy, I can’t guarantee your son’s safety.’ He jabbed at the phone again, possibly sending a text, and then slid it back into his pocket.

  ‘Happy?’ he asked Donna.

  She nodded. ‘Thanks.’

  ‘Now what?’ Curly asked. ‘We just wait for somebody to come over from the main building? Shouldn’t we be keeping watch and intercept them in case it’s a trick?’

  Larry snorted. ‘It’s a fucking secondary school not a top-secret facility. Do you really think they have the resources to play spy games with us? If Cleaver has any sense he’ll do exactly what he’s told.’ Larry glanced at Tom, and Donna noticed that his eyes looked a lot less confident than his voice sounded. ‘One of you needs to get out there and make sure numb-nuts doesn’t cock this up. Is he back on the door?’

  Mo shook his head. ‘He was still looking for the girl. I told him to get back to his post while I came back here. I have no idea what he’s doing on this job – he’s completely out of his depth.’

  Larry shrugged. ‘Can’t do anything about it now. Make sure he’s where he’s supposed to be and then go out and get the stuff they send across.’

  Larry stood up straighter and Donna thought she could make out a frown around what little of his eyes she could see.

  ‘Why me? How do you know they’ve not put police snipers on the roof ready to pick us all off?’

  ‘Listen to yourself. We’ve been here less than an hour. How would they have had time to set that up? And what purpose would it serve. They don’t know what’s happened to the lad – how serious it is – they wouldn’t want to risk us not treating him.’

  ‘I don’t know,’ Mo said. ‘I don’t think–’

  Whatever he’d been about to say was interrupted by the door being opened from outside – Mo had forgotten to lock it behind him when he came back. All three men shouldered their rifles while the students whimpered and huddled down in their seats. Donna turned to face whatever was coming through the door.

  ‘I’ve got her,’ the black-clad figure said, pushing the trembling form of Annie Bainbridge ahead of him into the room. ‘She was hiding in a cupboard. No harm done. She couldn’t get out of the building so she’s not been able to raise the alarm. She…’ His voice tailed off as his eyes fixed on Donna. ‘She’s fine,’ he continued. ‘And she’s sorry.’ His eyes were still on Donna’s.

  ‘She will be fucking sorry,’ Curly said, lowering his gun and stepping towards Annie.

  ‘Leave it,’ Larry said. ‘You, sit down.’ Annie gave him a long look that was almost a challenge before taking a seat close to Tom and Jess.

  Donna watched the girl, trying to assess if she’d been harmed, but she was distracted. How could she think about Annie or any of the kids when her attention kept being drawn back to the man who’d just entered the room.

  The man whose voice and eyes she knew as well as she knew her own reflection.

  Andy.

  Before

  Cam had never seen Penny cry. If asked, even though they’d been seeing each other for a few weeks, he’d probably have said that she was a bit lacking in emotion. It didn’t really bother him though – he supposed that her lack of sentiment had made the transition from colleagues to friends to potential lovers easier for both of them. Cam had felt no pressure yet to declare his feelings and Penny had made no effort to talk about where she saw the relationship going in the weeks and months to come. Privately, Cam hoped that they were heading to bed – celibacy had seemed inevitable after Chrissie, but he was starting to feel ready to explore a physical relationship again. And he was starting to allow himself to acknowledge that he was falling for Penny in ways that could go much further than the physical.

  ‘You okay?’ he asked, closing Penny’s office door behind him and leaning against it. She wiped her eyes and gave him a half smile.

  ‘Yep. Nothing important.’

  Cam scowled at her. ‘Penny, you’re crying at your desk. I doubt that it’s “nothing important”. Do you want to talk?’ He hoped she’d say no. Not because he wasn’t sympathetic, but Penny’s office was at the junction of two corridors on the school’s top floor and students could easily see in through the glass panel that ran down the middle of the door. This wasn’t the time for him to be seen hugging her – it wasn’t really a good idea for him to be seen in her office with the door closed. The staff would think that the head and deputy were plotting something, and the students would probably think the same. He didn’t want to have to face his feelings for Penny in an impromptu staff meeting.

  Penny closed the lid of her laptop and leaned back in her chair, shaking her head. ‘I don’t think we’re there yet, Cam.’

  ‘What? Where?’

  ‘I don’t think we’re at the sha
ring our feelings stage. I’ve just had some bad news and I need to work out a way to cope with it. I’m used to working things out on my own – I just need to do what’s best for Annie.’

  Her eyes were dark with smeared mascara and Cam could see the darker spots of tears on the front of her cream silk blouse. He reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and took out a folded cotton handkerchief. He never used hankies, preferring tissues which could be used once and disposed of, but there was something classy, gentleman-like about always having a square of cotton on hand to offer to a damsel in distress. Not that Penny would have liked to be seen as weak.

  ‘Very gallant,’ she said, taking the handkerchief and wiping her eyes. She opened the top drawer of her desk and removed a small mirror which she tilted in various directions to check her appearance. Cam watched as the silver surface caught fragments of light and bounced them around the pale blue walls. He didn’t want to stare at Penny, and he didn’t want her to ask him how she looked. He couldn’t lie: she looked awful.

  As though reading his thoughts, Penny retrieved a packet of wet wipes from the same drawer as she kept the mirror and swiped at her face.

  ‘I give enough of these to year ten,’ she said. ‘Didn’t think I’d ever need them myself though.’

  There was something overly intimate about watching her remove her make-up, as if she were revealing herself to him by degrees, that made Cam uncomfortable. He turned away, allowing Penny some privacy, and stared out of the window. The deputy head’s office had one of the best views in the school and, on a summer afternoon like this one when the air was clear and the sky bright with high cloud, Cam wondered if it might be worth swapping with her. Here he’d be away from the front office, hidden in the labyrinthine corridors of the second floor, only contactable by phone or email. It was tempting. He couldn’t see Penny agreeing to move, though, and he couldn’t force her to change offices. The way he was starting to feel about her, the opposite was much more likely. If she asked him for anything, he’d find it hard to refuse.

  ‘Right,’ Penny said, slamming the desk drawer and reaching for the handbag that nestled next to her feet. ‘Time to rebuild my face.’

  ‘Shall I go?’ Cam asked. ‘I know we said we’d talk about the budget, but you look like you could do with a bit of time to…’

  ‘Get a grip?’ Penny asked. ‘Pull myself together?’

  Cam looked around trying to work out an appropriate response. ‘I just…’

  ‘I’m fine,’ Penny said, staring into her mirror and applying lipstick. ‘Or I will be when I look like myself again. I’m sorry if I’ve embarrassed you.’

  ‘I’m not embarrassed, I’m concerned,’ Cam said. ‘This isn’t like you. I’ve never seen you upset before.’ He watched, fascinated, as Penny’s freshly lipsticked mouth changed shape as though the lower half of her face was melting. The lips seemed to curve downwards and then opened in a misshapen O of despair.

  ‘I’m sorry. I thought I was okay.’ Penny covered her face with her hands, leaving Cam bewildered.

  ‘Go home,’ he said. ‘You’re not teaching this afternoon and we can have our meeting later in the week. Whatever’s bothering you, you can’t deal with it here. I’ll let Ruth know.’

  ‘I can’t. Annie needs a lift home.’

  ‘I’m sure one of her friends’ parents can give her a lift. Please, Penny, go home. I’ll call you later if you want. We can talk.’

  Penny nodded and looked up at him gratefully. ‘Okay. I’ll text Annie and I’ll go. And yes, I would like to talk later. Maybe we could meet for a drink?’

  ‘On a school night?’ Cam asked with a smile. ‘Very decadent.’

  ‘Only if it’s no trouble.’

  ‘It’s no trouble,’ Cam reassured her. ‘Just go and I’ll give you a ring when I’m heading home.’

  He left her to pack up her things, heading back downstairs to his office. He wasn’t sure what had prompted him to suggest meeting later, but he was certain he’d follow through on his promise to call. Callous as it was to admit, he just wanted her off site so he didn’t have to deal with her at work. If he could talk to her somewhere away from school she might open up to him and allow him to help.

  Cam had chosen the Drake’s Head because it was in a small village north of Keswick and out of Fellbeck’s catchment area. He hated going out to local pubs and restaurants where he might be served by sixth-form students or, even worse, the embarrassment of refusing to have a drink with them, so he tended to favour the villages further south and west for their anonymity. The Drake’s Head was one of his favourites as it still retained some old-fashioned Lakeland charm without being pretentiously rural. And the food was excellent.

  He was surprised to find Penny waiting for him as he opened the main door to the pub and peered round the corner into the snug, as he hadn’t seen her car in the car park when he’d pulled up. She looked much more composed than when he’d last seen her. Her make-up was immaculate, her casual clothes looked expensive and suited her slim figure – the tight black jeans and baggy cotton shirt reminding him of teenage girls from the 1980s that he’d lusted after but been too young to pursue.

  ‘Been here long?’ he asked, pulling out the chair opposite where Penny was sitting.

  ‘Long enough to need another drink,’ Penny responded before he could sit down. ‘G and T, please.’

  Cam smiled at her directness and crossed the tiny room to the hatch that served as the bar in this part of the pub. He ordered a half of real ale for himself and a double for Penny, assuming the absence of her car and the order of another drink meant that she wasn’t driving.

  ‘Taxi?’ he asked, settling the glasses on the table and plonking himself down on the uncomfortable wooden chair.

  Penny grabbed her drink and took a long swig. ‘Yep. It might be a school night but I’m in the mood for a few more of these. I thought I might be able to persuade you to give me a lift home.’

  ‘No problem,’ Cam said. Penny smiled and nodded but showed no interest in furthering the conversation, choosing to stare at her drink. Cam was facing a mirror which reflected the scene behind him. The low beams and cream walls looked much like he imagined they would have in the 1950s – or even the 1850s – and the cliched horse brasses and hunting scenes spoke of simpler times.

  ‘You eating?’ he asked, picking up one of the menus which sat on the table between them. ‘I fancy pie and chips. Have you had their pies? They’re a bit special.’ He could hear himself rambling, desperately trying to make conversation to fill the silence. He’d hoped that he could get Penny to talk but she seemed lost in her own world.

  ‘Sounds good,’ Penny responded, but Cam would have sworn that she hadn’t heard what he’d said. ‘Look. I’m sorry about earlier. I really shouldn’t bring my problems to work – it’s unprofessional.’ She kept her eyes fixed on the glass and her hands were bending a cardboard drip mat backwards and forwards.

  ‘Are you in some kind of trouble?’ Cam asked. ‘You’re not yourself tonight.’

  Penny raised her eyes to his, staring into him as though she were trying to work out whether or not it was safe for her to tell him the truth. She sighed and shook her head. ‘Not exactly. It’s just that a part of my life that I thought I’d left behind has caught up with me and I’m not sure what to do.’

  ‘If you tell me about it, I might be able to help.’

  Penny shook her head again. ‘I don’t want to involve you, Cam. It’s not fair and besides…’ She lowered her eyes.

  ‘Besides what?’

  ‘I don’t want to do anything to mess up our relationship. I think this could be something special, but I know you’re vulnerable and I’m probably acting like the ice queen after Steve…’ She picked up her glass but put it down without drinking. ‘Cam. I need to tell you some things about my ex-husband. Things that I don’t like to admit to myself, but I think you should know before we take this relationship any further.’

  Cam leaned cl
oser, thoughts of his pie completely forgotten as he encouraged Penny to talk, to open up. ‘I’m listening. And you know that anything you tell me is in strictest confidence. Trust me, Penny. I want to help.’

  It was worse than he’d expected. Somehow, physical abuse would have been easier for his mind to process but the horrors that Penny had endured at the hands of her ex were difficult to comprehend. Cam had never had the slightest urge to raise a hand to Chrissie and he’d always been repulsed by men who hurt women but this, this was in a different league from anything he’d heard from any of his colleagues or social services. It wasn’t that he was naïve: he knew that domestic abuse wasn’t just physical; he’d just never encountered anybody who’d been the victim of coercive control and gaslighting.

  As he listened, Cam felt his anger towards Steve be overcome by feelings of tenderness and respect for Penny at the way she’d protected her daughter and, ultimately herself, from such a monster. He knew, listening to Penny catalogue the daily torments she’d endured, that he was falling for her and that he’d do anything to help.

  ‘And now he’s back in my life,’ Penny said. ‘I don’t think I’ll ever be truly rid of him and I’m scared for Annie.’

  ‘What’s happened? Why is he back?’

  ‘Money, why else?’ Penny spat. ‘I thought I’d seen the back of him – it’s not like Annie wants anything to do with her dad – but he crawled out of the woodwork last month.’

  Cam watched as she dipped her index finger in her drink and circled it around the edge of the glass. She was embarrassed to be admitting this to him.

  ‘I’m scared of him, Cam. He’s a very convincing liar and I know what he’s capable of if he doesn’t get what he wants.’

  ‘And you don’t have the money?’

  ‘I have a bit. I was hoping to use it to help Annie with uni next year.’

  ‘What about the house? Can’t you remortgage?’

  ‘Legally, the house still belongs to Steve. That’s the issue. I gave him fifty grand for his share when he left but we didn’t put anything in writing. I was so glad to be rid of him that I’d have done anything to get him out of our lives for good. I didn’t take financial advice because I didn’t know who to trust and now he’s back for the rest of the value of the house. I’m the one who’s been paying the mortgage all this time and, of course, the value of the house has gone up in the last three years.’