Doctor Feel Good: A Novel From The Be Yours Series

by Saffire, Blue

  “Word,” Neil grunts.

  “I was thinking the same thing,” Lance says.

  I throw my hands up. “I know how to take care of myself, thank you.”

  My father grunts, drawing my attention. I look to him and he’s studying me closely. I want to fidget but when it comes to my father you hold your ground or he will pick right at the weakness you show.

  “I agree with your brothers.”

  “Daddy, I never said I was seeing anyone to begin with.” I huff.

  “Problem number one. If you’re ashamed to introduce him to us, something’s not right.”

  “I’m not ashamed. Wait, I’m not seeing anyone,” I say.

  “Ow, this girl is a bullshitter,” my mother cackles. “Like we haven’t been cleaning her out because her poker face ain’t shit.”

  Everyone bursts into laughter as she continues. “Girl, who you talking to. Your father and I worked our way off the streets of Compton. We know a thing or two. You kids have only known the better things in life because of the sacrifices and hustling we did to go to good schools.”

  “Tell her, baby,” my father snorts. “I went nights without eating to make sure your mother ate and we paid our tuition. I busted my ass to keep moving you guys to the next best neighborhood. Greater opportunities. But I’m still from the same hood. I know bullshit when I hear it.”

  “Thank you,” my mother says.

  I drop my head to the table and groan. Patience giggles beside me. I want the table to just open up and swallow me.

  “In her defense, she’s thinks she’s not in a relationship. He, on the other hand, is not having her BS,” Marica snickers.

  I lift my head and glare at my cousin. “You traitor.”

  “What?”

  I roll my eyes at her. She just covers her mouth and tries to look innocent. I’m going to kick her ass later.

  “We want to meet him,” Nashawn says.

  “Damn right. He better be at the next barbeque,” my father grunts.

  “He’s going out of town. He won’t be here for the next barbeque.” I pout.

  “Got her,” Lance croons.

  I palm my forehead and huff. They all laugh at me, high fiving each other. I don’t know why I bother.

  Chapter 13

  Advice

  Divine

  “I’m sorry I blew you up,” Marica sings as she wraps her arms around my waist.

  “You’re not sorry about a damn thing,” I grumble pushing her away with an elbow.

  “Don’t be like that,” she laughs, kissing my cheek. “I haven’t seen you like this in years. You like him.”

  I set down the new diamond bracelet on the kitchen island. I’d come down to make the family breakfast and do a live with my followers. The doorbell rang with a delivery the moment my toes hit the bottom stair in the foyer.

  Here I am now with this beast of a diamond bracelet. I can’t believe my eyes. It’s like he heard nothing I said yesterday or chose to ignore it by sending something more extravagant to prove his point. I’m going with the latter. It would totally say Omid.

  “He infuriates me,” I bite out, sagging my shoulders, I run a hand through my hair. “But I feel this pull to him at the same time. I don’t know what it is about him.”

  “Well, I want to meet him. I can see he has you all up in knots. He must be something,” she says.

  “He’s my type to a T. No, let me get that right. The man broke the mold on all the things that I love in a man.”

  “Oh… wow,” Marica blows out. “Like, make you forget about Arman type break the mold?”

  “Who?” I say pointedly.

  “Damn,” she says releasing me to round the island and take a seat. “That’s huge.”

  I bite my lip and look at her pleadingly. “I don’t know what to do. We’ve been fighting and now he’s leaving for five weeks. That shouldn’t bother me. I should be okay with that.”

  “But you’re not.”

  “No, I’m not. If I weren’t here for Mommy and Daddy, I’d run back just to see him before he leaves.”

  Marica gives a low whistle. “So I’ll be doing this baby thing alone then, huh?”

  “No, I never said that. That’s just one more thing I’m so confused about. I know I want to do this. I’m just not sure how he will fit into that. I’ve told him my plans, but we never had a real decision about it.”

  “Maybe it’s time you do. All strong relationships are based on communication. This is one of those conversations that are a must. Sending gifts like that he’s serious about you.”

  “That’s what scares me,” I whisper. “But I also know gifts mean nothing.”

  Marica sighs and reaches over the countertop for my hands. “Cuz, you were sixteen in an online relationship with a boy that was from across the globe. His world was so different from yours. We don’t know what could have happened to him.”

  “I know he told me he loved me and promised we’d be together. I’m so afraid to let myself feel again. I mean, Omid is so much like him. How do I know I’m falling for him and not something from my past?”

  “Wait, is this guy Persian?”

  I nod. “They’re from the same city. Like how crazy is that?”

  Marica snorts. “Sort of insane. Do you think they might be related?”

  I freeze. I never thought of that. I push a hand into my hair, my thoughts running over each other.

  “I don’t know. I don’t even understand him all the time. He… he works with Dr. Nobi. In the same practice,” I pause to let my words sink in.

  “The dark haired doctor with the crazy sick eyes?” she gasps.

  “You’ve seen him?”

  She fans her face. “Girl, when I saw him I thought of you immediately. Yeah, I get why your brain would be scrambled. He is… shit. I don’t have words. Look, got me cursing in here.”

  “It’s more than his looks. It’s the way he treats me. Yes, I want to pinch him when he gets all possessive and highhanded, but the way he cares for me and does simple things for me it’s… he makes me feel cherished. I’ve never had that as an adult. Arman was the last male to make me feel that way,” I confess.

  “So what’s the problem?”

  “There are still so many things that feel like unknowns. Besides, have you met my father?”

  She pulls as face. “Ow, yeah. You have a point. Uncle Clive isn’t going to like this one bit. I mean, is Omid Muslim?”

  “Yes,” I groan.

  “Oh, girl, good luck. I will never understand your father when it comes to all that. He’s not even active in the church like that anymore, but he still has no tolerance at all,” Marica says sympathetically.

  I stretch my upper body over the island top. “Why me? I can’t put those two in the same room.”

  “I think you should focus on talking to your man first. See how he feels about you going through with having the baby. If you guys can’t see eye to eye on that, you’re not going to have to worry about uncle Clive.”

  “Why is everything so much harder for me?”

  Marica laughs sadly. “I’m the one having the baby of a dead man implanted in my womb. I get but so many shots to make this happen. Once the sperm is gone it’s gone. I think that’s what I’m most afraid of.”

  I look at my cousin, feeling like a total bitch. Here I am groaning about what could be my shot at a happily ever after and she has watched her own slip through her fingers. Lifting up, I round the counter to sit next to her and tug her into my embrace.

  “No matter what, I’m going to be here with you every step of the way. You’re going to have this baby. Keith will live on. We’ll all be here for you,” I promise.

  “If you think he’s the one, Div, don’t fight it. Let him love you. Life is so short and full of surprises that are not always the best but some that are freaking awesome. I don’t know if I’ll ever find love like what I had again. God is blessing you with that twice.”

  I close my eyes as he
r words hit me in the chest. I have to stop throwing up a wall against Omid to shield me from Arman. It’s not fair to either of us.

  I don’t say it out loud, but who knows if Arman was even real. I know for a fact that Omid is real. He deserves for me to give him a chance.

  “I hear you. I’m still pissed at him. He better fix the mess he made.” I huff.

  Marica lifts her head from my shoulder. “What mess? Why have you two been fighting?”

  “If you got time—”

  “Girl, if you don’t start talking before the rest of our noisy behind family wakes up.”

  I laugh. She has a great point.

  “I could just strangle him,” I start off as I launch into the story of how Omid ruined my business lunch and cost me my deal.

  * * *

  Omid

  Sitting in the corner of the hospital cafeteria, I open the lid on my salad and start to stab at it. I’m exhausted and cranky. Not to mention horny as fuck.

  It’s time for me to figure out how I’m going to tell Divine who I am. She still hasn’t figured it out on her own. I think I’m treading a thin line at this point. She will be livid if I don’t tell her soon.

  “What did that salad do to you?” Dr. Nobi asks as he takes the seat across from me.

  “It’s not the salad. It’s my life,” I mutter.

  “Want to talk about it?”

  I toss my fork down. I have no real appetite. Running a hand through my hair, I try to sort through my thoughts.

  “I’m grateful for this trip but it comes at an awkward time in my life,” I say.

  “How so?” he asks around a bite of his burrito.

  “When I was eighteen, I met a girl that I knew was the one. I fell in love with her at first sight. You know of the complication in my life. They first affected that relationship.

  “I’ve found her. She’s everything I remember and more. I’m in love with her all over again. Her laugh, her smile, the way her nose wrinkles when she’s pissed at me. I love her mind. If ever I believed Allah made a woman just for me, it would be her. She is the blessing I was born to receive.”

  “Wow,” John says as he wipes his mouth. “Sounds like you have what every man dreams of. What’s the problem?”

  “She’s Divine Favors,” I say and watch his face.

  It doesn’t register at first. I wait for him to catch on. When it does, his brows shoot up into his hairline.

  “Now that I didn’t see coming.”

  “Neither did I. I never thought she’d walk into our practice looking to have a baby by another man. I’ve thought of a million crazy things to do to keep it from happening.

  “Rejecting her specimen when it arrived on her IUI day. Switching it for mine. Fuck, I could lose my license for some of the things I’ve had planned in my mind.”

  “Have you just talked to her?”

  I rub my forehead. Talking to her would be the rational thing to do. I probably would’ve talked to her had I told her from the start who I am.

  “My pride got in the way. She doesn’t remember me,” I mumble.

  He gives a long low whistle. “This is starting to sound like a problem.”

  “It won’t be. Not for the practice. I’ll keep my personal life out of our business.”

  He taps the table for a few moments. I sit staring at my hands. This has become unnecessarily complicated.

  “I’m curious. Why doesn’t she remember you?”

  I scratch the back of my head, feeling my cheeks warm. “I didn’t mean for it to happen, but I sort of catfished her,” I say feeling my blush deepen.

  “What?” Nobi laughs.

  “You have to understand. In Iran social media is forbidden. I came to America to visit and I was able to do what boys my age here took for granted. She was this beautiful girl and I wanted to know her but if my father knew I was on those sites… Remi helped me to make it look like it was his profile.”

  I make a sour face. I never meant to deceive her. Everything just got out of hand. I fell in love and spent most of my time trying to figure out how we could be together. I would do so many things differently if I could turn back time.

  I continue as I think of that time so long ago. “I wasn’t hiding my identity from her. Everything I told her about me was real. Everything I did was to keep her safe. I just never corrected her when she made reference to my pictures on the profile.

  “There is also the fact that I’m older now, I have a beard I didn’t have then. My voice is different. I have less of an accent, though it’s still there. There are so many things that have changed over the last twenty years.” I huff and run my hand through my hair.

  “I can see that. It makes sense,” Nobi says. “What’s stopping you for revealing the truth now?”

  “She wants an excuse to pull away from me. I… I think I left a lot of damage behind.” I frown at my own words. “No, I know I left a lot of damage behind. She doesn’t want a relationship. I tell her this I may lose her forever. I can’t do that John,” I choke out.

  I ball my fists in front of me. “I can’t lose her again. This isn’t the crush of an eighteen year old boy. I love her. I love her more than I ever did then.”

  “Then you should talk to her. Tell her the truth, then go from there.”

  “I leave for Italy. This isn’t something I want to handle with that amount of distance between us. I will return just before she’s scheduled to start the treatments. I… I can’t… I just don’t know what to do.”

  “You will figure it out. You are a brilliant man, Omid. I’m glad to call you a friend and colleague. As a friend I will tell you this. When you love someone, hold onto them. You could wake at any moment and find them lost to you forever.

  “Don’t find yourself wishing you told her you loved her more, wishing you shared more moments with her, wishing you could have one more day to hear her laughter. Only having memories and reminders but not her to love,” he says hauntedly and gets up, leaving his lunch unfinished.

  I stare after him. Always there but not.

  Knowing his story makes me more determined to hold onto Divine. I would take my last breath if I knew she was no longer on this earth.

  Chapter 14

  Let’s Talk

  Divine

  It’s been a long day. I had samples come in for the clothing line, I spent a large chunk of the day live to get my fans excited about the new launches coming, and the list goes on and on. I want nothing more than to face plant in my pillow and sleep for a solid ten hours.

  However, I’m blinking every five seconds to keep my eyes open. It’s eleven thirty. I just have to hold on a little longer. Omid always calls after his morning prayer time. If I can hang in there for fifteen more minutes I won’t miss his call.

  This is the best time for our days to link up. His research project has been keeping him so busy. He sounds so happy about his work and the progress he’s making. It’s been three weeks so far and I miss seeing him. I miss him dropping by my office and I miss talking to him in person before I fall asleep at night.

  Do I miss his tongue game? I’m not even going to entertain how much I miss that. His dirty talk has provided me a muse to get myself off, but it’s just not the same.

  My phone rings on the pillow beside me. I open my eyes, not even realizing I’d fallen asleep. I sit up and answer before I miss the call.

  “Hello.”

  “Hello, aşkım. I’ve missed your voice,” he croons silkily through the line.

  I’m still getting used to him calling me his love. I try not to read too much into it. It’s a simple term of endearment, nothing to lose my head over.

  “How did things go yesterday?”

  He laughs quietly on the other end. “Things went well. The women are so grateful for the treatment. They’re gaining instant relief. We’ve had a pregnancy already.”

  He sounds so happy and excited to help. I never knew listening to a man be so nurturing could be so sexy. Omid has a p
assion for life and the preservation and procreation of it.

  “That’s so great. So many women suffer from fibroids this will be ground breaking for you,” I say excitedly.

  “I’m thrilled with the progress. We’re at a hundred percent shrinkage in ninety percent of the tumors.”

  “That’s awesome. I’m so happy for you.”

  I love hearing him like this. It’s a side of him that has melted my heart. His love for what he does comes through in a big way. I’m falling in love with the idea of a man that’s so thoughtful and caring of others.

  “It’s more than I could’ve asked for.”

  “Did you get to work with that woman again? Did she have her baby?”

  “Yes, she had the baby,” he says.

  “That’s a good thing, right?”

  He releases a breath. “Something still isn’t sitting well with me. My instincts are telling me something is off,” he says thoughtfully.

  He brought up the woman the second week of his arrival in Italy. She was having complications but wouldn’t seek the proper care. One of the women in his study heard him speak fluent Italy and implored him to come to the village and help.

  He went after hours to find the scared woman in need of his help. Her husband had disappeared some months before. He’d expressed before that he didn’t like the situation but refused not to help her.

  “Do you still think her husband’s disappearance was foul play?”

  “I do. Her fear to seek treatment goes beyond the fear of doctors and medicine. I overheard a few of the village women talking. I’ve called in some favors. She will be taken care of and I’ll find out what happened to her husband,” he says.

  I sit up straighter. I’m wide awake now. “Omid, you can’t just go to foreign countries and start digging around in things that look fishy to begin with. You don’t know what her husband was into.”