Christmas Shorts 2020

by Kathi Daley

  “I didn’t know,” I whispered in return.

  “You didn’t care. Not really. Not once you got back to the life that you’d left behind. You didn’t mourn for Trevor, you didn’t mourn for Mac, and you didn’t mourn for me.”

  Tears began to flow freely down my face. “I knew I had to move on, so I tried not to think about Mac and Trevor. I honestly didn’t know that I’d left you behind.” I took an unsteady breath. “How could I? I guess I knew that I felt different after I left, but it never entered my mind that I might have literally left part of myself behind.”

  “I knew, and I missed us every day.”

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. Any of you.”

  “And yet, the legacy continues.”

  I frowned. “What do you mean by that? I’m not going anywhere. I know that the fact that the two of us must merge for the final time is going to take some getting used to, but you will be part of me. Forever,” I emphasized. “I’m not abandoning you.”

  “I’m not talking about me.”

  “Who then?”

  “All in good time.”

  This time when Alyson pulled me through time, she brought us to the first time I’d run into Trevor after coming back to Cutter’s Cove to help solve my good friend, Booker’s, murder. I watched as I walked into Pirates Pizza, never expecting in a million years that I’d find Trevor there. I watched as his face lit up when he saw me. I watched as he hugged me tight, and I watched his expression change from joy to relief as he squeezed me even tighter. Had he really been waiting for me all along?

  “Do you remember that first antiquing trip?” Alyson asked as she dragged me to the antique store where Trevor helped me pick out a bed.

  “I do remember. I was so surprised to find out that Trevor had grown into a man while I’d been away. He owned his own business and a home on the beach. He knew about antiques and refurbishing furniture. The boy who’d been such a good friend to me had grown into a man I could love.” I paused. “A man I do love,” I emphasized.

  “Keep that thought in mind,” Alyson said as the elf costume and hat she’d been wearing turned into a Santa costume and hat, almost as if by magic.

  “The Ghost of Christmas Present, I presume.”

  She nodded. “This part won’t be as easy, so hang on tight.”

  Once again, she pulled me through time. This time, I found myself in a jewelry store, watching an adult Trevor talking to the jeweler. It appeared he was having the perfect ring designed for the woman he loved. He looked so happy. So determined. He’d put a lot of thought into exactly what he wanted, and when he couldn’t find what he’d dreamed of, he’d had it custom made. I watched as his bright blue eyes mirrored the love he felt as he described every detail to the man who he’d selected to make the ring. I watched as he insisted on being involved and having input into every step of the process. And then I watched when he picked the ring up and held it like a newborn baby. As he held it up to the light, the love in his eyes spoke of permanence, of family, of destiny long in coming that would finally be fulfilled.

  “He’s going to propose,” I whispered.

  “You’ve suspected as much for months,” Alyson pointed out.

  “Yes, I guess I have. I just hoped Trevor wasn’t this far along in the process.” I glanced at Alyson. “This is why we’re here. You think I’m going to say no.”

  “Are you?”

  I paused. “I honestly don’t know. I love Trevor. I do. But we’ve only been officially dating a year. I’m not sure I’m ready to make that sort of commitment yet.”

  “He’ll ask, and you’ll answer. That answer will make all the difference.”

  “Do you know what I’ll say?”

  She shook her head. “The future is fluid. He won’t ask until tonight, and you won’t answer until tonight, so I can’t know until tonight how it will all turn out.”

  “You think I should say yes.”

  “I think you should understand that you are standing at a crossroads. The decision you make will affect us for the rest of our lives. I think you should take a minute and really consider what you are being asked and who is doing the asking.”

  I was about to answer when Alyson pulled me forward through time to the florist, the grocer, and my favorite coastal winery. I watched as Trevor made each decision with thought and precision. It almost seemed as if his life depended on the outcome of each choice. I was getting dizzy with the speed at which Alyson was showing me these things when we finally landed in Trevor’s workshop. Based on the clothes he was wearing, I was willing to bet that the scene I was watching had taken place after he’d left my house earlier this evening. I’d asked him to stay, but Trevor had said there were a few last-minute things he needed to take care of. I supposed this was what he meant.

  “That’s my Christmas gift, isn’t it?” I asked as he polished what looked to be a hope chest.

  “It would be wrong to tell and spoil the fun, but I think you know.”

  I watched as Trevor continued to polish the wood until it gleamed. Once the shine was absolutely perfect, he opened the lid and began setting items he was taking from a box inside the hope chest.

  “That’s the stuffed bear he won at the carnival that first Christmas we knew each other,” I whispered as he tied a new red bow around its neck and gently placed it in the hope chest. “I slept with that bear every night until I moved back to New York.” I felt my chest tighten. “I’d forgotten that I’d left it behind.”

  “It seems to me that I remember you leaving pretty much everything behind,” Alyson pointed out. “I don’t seem to remember you even taking your clothes.”

  “No, I guess I didn’t,” I agreed, as I watched Trevor fold his letterman jacket and set it inside the hope chest. If there was one thing about teenage Trevor, he’d excelled at every sport.

  “Oh look, the elf hat I wore and the reindeer antlers Tucker wore when we volunteered with Trevor at the Santa House.”

  “Isn’t that the map we found that first Thanksgiving that had led to a lost treasure?” Alyson asked.

  “I had no idea he’d kept all this stuff.” My heart ached as I watched him pull each item out of the box, pause to really look at it, and then lovingly set it inside the hope chest. While I’d taken nothing with me when I left, Trevor had saved a lifetime of memories, our memories, from the first day we’d met.

  “It looks like even if you aren’t sure now after all these years, Trevor was sure even back then.”

  Alyson was right. How was it that I’d had no idea how he felt?

  I watched as he added mementos from our time together since my return, which included the pumpkin headband he’d bought for me this past Halloween and the complimentary t-shirt from the cruise from hell we’d taken together a year ago. Trevor had kept the first collar we’d bought for Sunny after we’d found her and was now lovingly placing it in the hope chest with the other items he’d been hanging onto. I couldn’t believe that he’d kept it. I wondered if he had Tucker and Coop’s old collars as well.

  I watched as he continued his task with reverence and determination before finally shutting the lid and topping the whole thing off with a giant red bow.

  “I guess that concludes our tour of Christmas present,” Alyson said.

  “So, are you going to show me Christmas future now?” I asked, not even sure that I wanted to see it.

  “I am.” Her Santa outfit and hat changed to an angel gown and halo. “As I mentioned before, the future is not fixed, so the images I will share are variations of what could be.”

  In an instant, we were in Trevor’s beach house. Since Mac was spending Christmas Eve with her fiancé, Tyson, in Portland, and my mom and her new husband, Donovan, didn’t plan to come to Cutter’s Cove until the week after Christmas, Trevor and I would be celebrating the night before Christmas on our own this year. The scene Alyson transported me into was Trevor cooking what I was sure would be the best meal I would ever e
at.

  “I guess I must have decided to just meet him at his house,” I said. “We discussed options this past evening, but we never did decide.”

  “This version of the future meeting at the beach house is exactly what you decided to do.”

  I watched as Trevor took his time arranging the flowers and candles. I wasn’t sure that I’d ever done anything with the same determination and attention to detail as he brought to the simple acts of lighting candles, selecting music, and adjusting the ornaments on the tree just so. There was a large object covered with a blanket under the tree that I assumed was the hope chest.

  Trevor whistled as he worked on both the setting and the meal. Every few minutes, he’d take the ring out of his pocket, hold it up, and smile.

  “He looks so happy,” I whispered.

  “Of course, he’s happy. He’s on the verge of asking the woman he’s loved from the moment he met her to finally make the commitment to spend the rest of her life with him.”

  I watched as I arrived, still having no idea how I was going to answer. I watched as Trevor greeted me with a kiss, poured me a glass of wine, and then served me the most delicious meal anyone had ever made in the history of all romantic dinners. I watched as he took me into his arms after we enjoyed the dessert he’d prepared, and I watched as he got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife. I watched as tears flowed down my face as I hesitated. I didn’t say no, but I didn’t say yes either. I watched the light fade from his eyes as I said something about needing time to think things over. He slipped the ring he held back into his pocket as I made an excuse and left.

  “I can’t watch this,” I said.

  “You must. You need to know before you decide.”

  Alyson forced me to watch as Trevor stood alone on the deck and watched me drive away. He stood for the longest time, staring at the empty space that my car had occupied before turning and walking out onto the beach. For what seemed like hours, he just stood there, staring at the sea as a river of tears rolled down his cheeks.

  “That’s enough,” I said. “I don’t need to see any more. If this is what I did or will do or whatever, then I messed up. I need to figure out how to fix this.”

  “So, if this is to be your future, would you wish to do things differently?”

  I hesitated.

  “You still aren’t sure,” she accused.

  “I’m still not sure if I should marry Trevor, but I am sure that the Amanda in the scene we just witnessed handled things badly.”

  “I see.”

  “Don’t look at me like that. Marrying someone is a huge decision. Taking time to really think things through makes sense.”

  She just stared at me. I really didn’t want to talk about this any longer, but I supposed if you couldn’t be honest with yourself, then who could you be honest with?

  “I’m scared,” I finally said. “I love Trevor, and I want to spend my life with him, but what if something unexpected happens?”

  “I can guarantee you that something unexpected will happen,” she answered. “A lot of unexpected things happen during the course of a lifetime.”

  “I don’t mean something little. I mean something big.”

  “Like witnessing a murder and being thrust into witness protection?” Alyson asked.

  “Yes, something exactly like that.”

  “Then you’ll deal with it together. That’s what married couples do.”

  “Our dad didn’t,” I reminded her. “When he found out that we had to leave New York, he chose his old life over us. He chose to stay behind even though it meant never seeing us again.”

  Alyson took my hand in hers. “Trevor isn’t Dad. Our dad was shallow and self-absorbed. He cared about Mom’s money and the prestige that came from being married to her more than he ever cared about her. We know that. We also know that Trevor would follow us to the moon and back.”

  I supposed I did know that.

  “Can you show me my Christmas future? Far into the future. Not just tomorrow, but maybe ten years from now?”

  “Which future would you like to see? The one where you say yes, or the one where you say no?”

  “Show me what will happen if I say yes. I already know what a future where I say no will look like. I don’t need to see a lonely old woman with seventeen cats who never found happiness because she let her one chance at love slip away. I want to see how it will all turn out if I take a chance and say yes.”

  Alyson furrowed her brow. “No. I think I’ll show you your future if you say no.” She held out a hand. I closed my eyes, took a breath, and hung on for dear life.

  When I opened my eyes, I found myself back in New York. I wasn’t a lonely old woman with seventeen cats. In fact, based on the clothes I wore and the office I was sitting in, I’d say I was a successful businesswoman. I didn’t look miserable and lonely. In fact, it appeared as if I was pretty darn busy.

  “Ms. Parker, you have a call on line one,” a voice said over the intercom.

  “Thanks. This call might take a while. Please call Jason and tell him I’ll need to push our lunch back an hour.”

  “Okay. Anything else?”

  “Confirm my flight and hotel reservation for Paris. Based on the conversation I had with my new client this morning, it looks like the trip and the deal are on.”

  “Okay. I’m on it.”

  I picked the telephone receiver up. “Paul, how are you?”

  I looked at Alyson. “That’s me?”

  She nodded. “This is your future if you tell Trevor no. You’ll find it awkward to live in the same town as the man you try to be friends with, so you decide to sell the house and return to New York. It will be hard at first. You’ll move in with your mother, but as time goes by, you’ll realize you need to move on, so you’ll throw yourself into your work. As you can see, it all seems to work out.”

  “Yes,” I said. “I can see that.” I continued to watch the future me. “Am I happy?”

  “As happy as someone with half a soul can be.”

  “So, I’m not happy.”

  She shrugged. “You’re content. You have a full life. You have friends and a pretty wonderful guy in your life. But you don’t have Trevor, and you don’t have me.”

  My gaze narrowed. “I don’t have you?”

  “Never forget that the part of you who is based in magic can never leave Cutter’s Cove. When you eventually choose to leave, you will be choosing to leave me behind as well.”

  I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths. If anything, I felt more confused and conflicted than I had when this journey began. I thought Alyson was here to help me decide. “Okay, so show me my future if I say yes,” I eventually said.

  She hesitated.

  “Fair is fair,” I argued. “So far, you’ve only shown me one outcome. Show me what will happen if I say yes.”

  She crossed her arms across her chest. “Before I do, why don’t you tell me what you think our future will look like if we say yes.”

  “How would I know that? If I knew how things would turn out, I wouldn’t be so conflicted.”

  “You know.” Alyson pulled me close and hugged me tightly. “Deep down in your soul, you know. We both do. If you want to know how your life will turn out, then you simply need to allow yourself to know. Just close your eyes and let yourself see. Let the future play out in your imagination.”

  “Are you sure that will work?”

  “I’m sure.” She squeezed me even tighter, so tightly, in fact, that it felt as if she’d never let go. “It’s time for me to go,” she eventually said.

  “But I’m not sure I’m ready for you to go. I still have so many questions. I need to know what to do.”

  “I know this is cliché, but follow your heart. Follow our heart,” Alyson corrected, and with that, she was gone.

  I glanced at the clock. It was three a.m. I guess Alyson really did try to stick to the script and timeline she’d shown up with.

  Just close yo
ur eyes and let yourself see.

  I let her words filter through my mind as I laid down on the bed, snuggled up with Shadow, and closed my eyes. I willed my body and mind to relax, and I willed the future I wanted so much to experience to unfold. At first, the images in my mind were blurry, but the longer I laid there, the clearer the images became.

  “Is Santa real?” A little girl with long blond ringlets asked as we sat on the floor together in front of a tall, brightly lit tree.

  “Do you believe in magic?” I asked as we sorted through the boxes we were artfully arranging underneath the Christmas tree.

  “I do,” the girl’s bright blue eyes seemed to dance with merriment as she answered. “You know I can see ghosts the same as you. But Santa isn’t a ghost. He’s a man.” She paused. “Or maybe an angel. I’m not really clear on that. Hunter and Haden said that Santa is made up. They said he isn’t real and that only babies believe in him.”

  I tucked a lock of Alyson’s long hair behind her ear. She looked just like me… just like us. “Hunter and Haden are special. Very, very special, each in their own way, but they don’t have the magic in their souls that we have. They don’t believe because they can’t, but we will never lose that ability.”

  My beautiful daughter smiled. “Thanks, Mom. I do believe in Santa. I’m sorry the boys can’t. They really are missing out on a lot.”

  I laughed. “Yes, they are, but like Daddy, the sun rises and sets around football in the fall, basketball in the winter, and baseball in the spring for them. Sports might not be magic in the same way as seeing ghosts is magic, but I suspect the twins are pretty happy with their lot in life.” I glanced at the clock. “I need to finish dinner. Mac and Ty will be here with Jessica at any minute.”

  Alyson smiled. “She’s so cute. All that red hair just like her mommy.”

  “She is pretty cute,” I agreed. “Do you want to help me in the kitchen?”

  “I do.”

  “That’s good because you not only inherited my ability to see ghosts but Daddy’s knack with a recipe.”