SMITH (The Beckett Boys, Book One)

by Olivia Chase

  I slid my leg away. “Maybe I’m not as funny as you think.”

  “You’re also pretty sexy, Caeli. I never told you that, but it’s true.”

  “Jamie—“ I said, trying to pre-empt this sad attempt he was making.

  “Hold on, just listen for half a second, Caeli. Dammit, I’ve always liked you and I never had the fucking balls to just tell you. You know, I had a feeling you might’ve felt something for me too, but we were both insecure kids.”

  I shook my head. “Friends, Jamie—“

  “I know, I know,” he said, his hand snaking out again and grabbing my bare thigh under my skirt.

  “Don’t do this—“

  “Caeli, now, come on. We all know you’re not some pure white as snow girl,” he said.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Jamie’s eyes intensified. “You don’t have a clue how long I’ve wanted to touch you,” he said, and then he was moving across the seat and his body was pressing towards me, his hands groping, grabbing at my breasts and legs, his lips coming into contact with my cheek as I turned.

  “Jamie!” I shouted. “Stop it! No!”

  “Why?” he shouted in my face, his coffee breath rank and hot. “What is wrong with you, you fucking cunt?”

  I sat there, rigid. “Let me out of this car.”

  “Powers,” he said, leaning towards me once more.

  I turned and slapped him viciously hard across his face. He grunted and then his wide eyes glared at me as the palm print appeared.

  “I don’t want you, Jamie. I don’t. Just leave me alone.”

  He sneered. “You just assaulted a cop, you dumb bitch.” And then he grabbed his handcuffs.

  “You’re kidding me, right?”

  “No, Caeli Powers. I am not kidding you, not one bit,” he replied, and then he began reading me my rights. And then he handcuffed me and put me in the back of the cruiser and drove to the station.

  The funny thing was, I was just relieved that he hadn’t ever managed to kiss me on the lips.

  ***

  A couple hours later, my father was at the station talking to Jamie.

  I could see them speaking from my cell, where I’d been for the last two hours. My blood boiled. I hadn’t called my father, and yet here he was.

  Because of Jamie.

  After a few minutes, Jamie walked to the cell and unlocked it. “You’re being released,” he said. “Luckily for you, we’ve been friends a long time, Caeli. Maybe next time you’ll think twice before you just lash out at a police officer.”

  I stood there, my fists clenching, heart pounding. “You just tried to cover your own ass,” I whispered, “and don’t think I’m going to forget what you did to me.”

  He held up his hands and stepped back, turning his head towards my father. “She’s so angry,” he said. “God only knows what’s sparked this attitude change.”

  “Oh, I think I have a pretty good idea,” my dad said, as he stood there, hands stuffed in his pants pockets.

  My lips pursed angrily, I walked past Jamie out of the jail cell.

  “Next time, I won’t be able to pull strings like this,” Jamie called out.

  I managed to bite my tongue and not say everything I wanted to say. For now I was just glad to be out of jail and away from him.

  We left the police station and my father followed me down the steps as I moved quickly, almost leaving him behind. “Hey,” he said. “Caeli, slow down right now.”

  I turned and looked at him. “You have no idea what really happened,” I said.

  He stopped walking and looked at me. “Jamie said you struck him. Is that true?”

  “He was trying to grope me,” I replied.

  My father seemed to take this in, his brow lowering. “Caeli, that’s a pretty big accusation to make.”

  “The guy is a perv, Dad. He’s always been half a stalker, and today he went full out. When he wouldn’t stop, I slapped him.”

  “You did, huh?”

  “Yeah, I did.”

  My father sighed. “Look, let’s just go home. I’m tired of fighting. It seems like all I do lately is fight.”

  We walked to his car and got inside. The familiar smells of cigarettes and cinnamon gum and even my mother’s perfume greeted my nostrils. “Where’s Mom?” I asked, as he started the car.

  “She’s home sleeping.”

  I knew what that meant. They’d probably had another big argument. I wondered how many times they could fight like this and still keep going.

  For the first time in awhile, I looked at my father’s worn, haggard face and felt pity. He was always so big, larger than life, but lately as he got older and the world wore him down, he seemed to be somehow shrinking and fading before my eyes.

  “I’m sorry if I caused you any problems, Dad.”

  He pulled the car out of the lot and into the street. “I don’t know what’s going on with you lately, Caeli. I had half a mind to tell Jamie about that new boyfriend of yours. Seems to me that perhaps he’d have been more than interested to find out his name after what went on at the restaurant the other night.”

  I fell silent. So my father had finally found out about the fight that had started all of this trouble.

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Are you still with him?”

  “No,” I said, simply. But even thinking about Zack Wild made my heart skip a beat and butterflies tumble around inside my belly.

  I missed him so badly, which made almost no sense.

  My father sighed. “Your uncle’s agreed to give you another chance and let you have your job back, Caeli. And I’m willing to let you continue to stay in the apartment—“

  “Thanks a lot,” I said, my tone sarcastic.

  He flashed his patented glare at me. “What’s that supposed to mean, young lady?”

  “Come on, Dad,” I said, rolling my eyes.

  “I know you think that your mother and I are the cause of all your problems,” he said, “but the truth is more complicated than that.”

  “Just don’t act like it’s some big favor.”

  His cheeks flushed. “You’ve been getting mighty big for your britches, Caeli. I’m not sure what the hell’s gotten into you.”

  “Maybe I’m just tired of apologizing for things I didn’t do.”

  His hands visibly tightened on the wheel. “Or maybe you have some apologies to make and you know it.”

  I glared at him. “I’m not the one who made bad decisions and almost lost my house, and I’m not the one guilting his daughter into paying off his debts.”

  “You have some nerve talking to me like that.”

  I just stared out the window. “We probably shouldn’t talk about this right now,” I said. “It’s not a good time.”

  “Clearly,” my father snorted.

  And we didn’t talk the rest of the way.

  He dropped me off at my apartment and rolled down his window as I was walking back to the house.

  “So should I tell Uncle Billy you’re going to be at work tomorrow night?” he called out to me.

  I turned and nodded without saying a word, and then I headed into my apartment. As quickly as my new life had begun, it was over.

  Zack was gone.

  I was back in my parents’ apartment, back at my crappy job working for my uncle and his horrible sons.

  Everything had stayed the same, as I’d always known it must.

  ZACK

  I woke up feeling like someone just chewed me up and spit me out into the garbage. My stomach curdled and I got up, walked to the bathroom, brushed my teeth and washed my face.

  “Shit,” I said, staring at my bloodshot eyes in the mirror.

  Immediately, I thought of Caeli Powers, remembered her smile, the smell of her skin. I wanted to punch the mirror, smash the shards all over the place.

  Why did I have to meet her?

  Why did I have to feel something again?

  This time,
I’m going to do it right, I decided. I’d been sleeping off my hangover for hours and it was finally nighttime. Perfect time to get out and find some new strange tail to take my mind off…I couldn’t even allow myself to think her name.

  I just knew that the only way to forget her was to replace her, and damn quick.

  More drinking, a lot more. And then I’m going to take some bimbo home and fuck the living daylights out of her, and that will be that.

  I changed into a nice outfit—pressed jeans, tight black Armani t-shirt, decent pair of black boots.

  Checking my phone, I saw lots of missed calls and texts. I blocked the ones that I could and ignored the rest.

  Everyone who I could block, I had, but sometimes they tried me from new numbers and shit.

  Fuck them. Get a life, fuckers.

  As I was leaving my apartment to hit one of my favorite haunts, I had the strange and jarring thought that I should just call Caeli Powers. I’d gotten her cell number when I’d searched her name and found her home address.

  You know you want to hear her voice. The rest is just noise and bullshit.

  “What is your damage, soldier?” I muttered to myself. “Do you have a major malfunction? Is this one piece of pussy so different from the millions of others?”

  Sir, yes sir.

  I ignored my own thoughts. I would rather die than allow someone like Caeli have her life ruined by involving herself with someone like me. I had no fucking future.

  She deserved far, far better than I could ever provide.

  I wasn’t going to ever see Caeli Powers again no matter what, and tonight I would ensure that fact by officially moving on and railing some new pussy.

  Out the door, fresh air, and then I was taking a cab to my usual spot because I didn’t want to deal with driving. I was just coming off my first bender of the day, but I knew I was preparing for another epic one.

  I shook hands with the bouncer as I went into the bar.

  People waved to me, bartenders, servers, a few folks playing pool. They didn’t know my story, didn’t know where I came from. They just knew me as the backyard brawler who occasionally liked to come in and get fucked up before bagging a hot broad for the end of the night.

  I sidled up to the bar and threw down some cash. “Keep ‘em coming, Les,” I said to the young guy pouring a Sam Adams into a glass.

  “The usual?” he asked.

  “Abso-fucking-lutely,” I replied. I smiled widely, anticipating the obliteration of my faculties, the forgetting of my past—and especially, the forgetting of my recent history with this girl who was spinning my head around like a top.

  I caught the glance of three chicks down the end of the bar, two of them decent enough, one super hot. And hot damn if all three of them didn’t look my way and give me that look—that look I knew oh so well.

  Down. To. Fuck.

  Les put a beer and a shot down in front of me. “Tell those three ladies down the end that their next round is on me, okay?” I said.

  He grinned. “God, I wish I was you for just one day.”

  “No, you don’t,” I said, picking up the shot glass and throwing back the contents in one swift motion.

  I sighed, feeling the familiar burn in the back of my throat. I picked up my beer and watched as Les went down the other end of the bar and told the three ladies about my offer to buy their next round.

  They shot each other meaningful looks and began whispering. Then one of them waved at me.

  Les took their drink orders.

  I stood where I was, raised my beer and then took a long sip. It was cold and good.

  A strange emptiness floated through me as I thought about the girl, the one I was trying to forget. I wouldn’t say her name, but my stomach tightened as I thought about just turning around, walking out of this shitty dive bar and calling her from outside.

  The sound of her voice would be a relief.

  Soldier, you better goddamn focus. The mission is the three little hotties down the end of the bar. That is the motherfucking mission, now shut your whining mouth and get down to business.

  So I did. I drank a few more shots and then the three women came to me, just like I knew they would.

  “Hey,” the sexiest one said. “Thanks for the drink,” she said.

  “Welcome,” I replied.

  “You look familiar,” one of her friends said. “Are you in movies?”

  “I’m not an actor, I just play one on TV,” I replied.

  They stared uncomprehendingly at me.

  “It’s a little joke,” I said, winking, and they all began giggling and one of them put her hand on my bicep and remarked how strong I was.

  “So you’re like—a professional athlete then?”

  I had to laugh.

  This was going to be like shooting fish in a barrel. The only question left to be answered was whether or not I would fuck all three of them at once, or one after the other.

  It was rare to find three girls willing to get turned out all at once in the same night, but it wasn’t impossible.

  Nothing’s impossible, I thought.

  And the way they were staring at me, and the looks they were exchanging—not to mention how willing they were to throw the drinks back—told me that I was probably in luck.

  About an hour later, one of them shoved her tongue down the others’ throat, and before I knew it, all three of them were making out right in front of me.

  Les was shaking his head in awe from behind the bar, while I laughed.

  After their little display ended, I tossed some cash on the bar and then turned to my three ladies. “Whose place? Yours or mine?”

  “We’re at the Hilton around the corner,” the hot one said.

  “Yours it is,” I said, and we left.

  Not five minutes later, we were walking into their hotel room, and shit was about to go down. I had done everything right, and now the mission was about to be accomplished.

  I’d gotten fucked up.

  I’d landed three hot ladies who were down to fuck.

  Now I just needed to do the fucking—my specialty.

  “Are you as big as you look?” someone asked, I didn’t care who.

  “You’re about to find out, hon,” I replied, pulling my shirt off.

  They gasped at my tattoos.

  As one of them went to touch my bare chest, I instantaneously reacted, without even thinking. My hand shot out and grabbed her wrist, stopping her from making contact with my skin.

  “Hey,” she said, her face contorting.

  “Don’t.” I let go and she withdrew.

  It suddenly occurred to me that this mission was actually a big fucking failure. I stared at these three women who wanted to suck and fuck but didn’t know the first damn thing about me, didn’t care and never would.

  And I realized that I hadn’t forgotten about Caeli. Not even close.

  My cock was hard, but it wasn’t hard for any of them. I didn’t even want to touch them or have them lay a finger on me.

  I was rock hard because I was thinking about her.

  I was remembering her body, her skin, her tits. But not just her body. I was also remembering that smile, those eyes that seemed to see right into me and didn’t shy away, weren’t afraid of my darkness.

  What the fuck was I doing in this shitty hotel room? Why was I trying to throw away the one good thing that I’d found since coming home from Afghanistan?

  “Hey, what’s wrong—“ one of the girl said.

  “I need to go,” I said, pulling my shirt back on, turning and starting to leave.

  “What the hell? You don’t want this?” one of them said.

  I glanced back at her bare titties. “They’re nice,” I said, “but they’re just tits, hon.”

  And then I was leaving as they shouted profanities after me.

  When I got outside the hotel, I thought about calling Caeli, but decided against it. She wouldn’t want to hear from me and I knew it.

 
I’d hurt her badly.

  I was rapidly sobering up, and I knew that this needed to be said in person. I went to the cabstand out front and got in a cab, told them the address to take me.

  As we drove toward the other end of town, I looked out the window and thought about what was happening to me.

  For a long time now, I’d been absolutely certain that the person I’d been in the past was gone. Completely gone, destroyed and never to return.

  But for the first time since I’d seen my best friends murdered and blown apart in a foreign country, there was a small part of me that felt like myself again.

  It was so tiny a fragment that I wasn’t even altogether sure that it was real, but just the fact that I thought it might be real was enough to turn my world upside down.

  Maybe I was coming back to something inside that had been buried but not completely incinerated. The other vets had told me it was possible—some guys never came back to reality, never were anything like the men they’d once been…but others somehow bounced back.

  The verdict was still out on me, but this was the first moment I’d ever wondered which kind of guy I might be.

  Soon, we arrived at her apartment. There were still lights on up there, and I smiled a little, imagining her in there, perhaps sitting on her couch watching TV or maybe in bed reading a book.

  I would have liked to just be able to look in on her, watch from afar, make sure she was safe and that nobody would ever hurt her.

  Getting out of the cab, I told the cab driver not to wait for me, even though I knew there was every possibility Caeli was going to tell me to take a flying leap.

  A smarter man than me would’ve at least told the driver to keep the fare running and hang tight while I pled my case. But I wasn’t that smart, and as I watched the taxi speed off down the street, break lights flashing twice before it disappeared, I laughed a little to myself.

  Whatever else, I wasn’t going to be half-assed and keep the cab waiting. I’d walk home if necessary.

  Moving up the steps to the door, I knocked and then buzzed.

  After that, I stepped back and looked up. I saw her come to the window and look down but couldn’t see the expression on her face.