Broken Hearts

by Sam Crescent

  Her cheeks went a beautiful shade of red, which he found so adorable. He wanted to reach out and touch her, see if her skin was as soft as it looked. Dick couldn’t believe the feelings that were overtaking him at simply being near her.

  “Erm, I’ve been fine. I’ve been working hard, and dealing with my stuff. Gardening, attempting to grow all my own fruit and vegetables,” Martha said.

  “What about Becky? How is she handling her shit?” he asked. He’d never made an effort with women, and he was out of practice in getting women to talk. Becky was the last thing he wanted to talk about, but it was their joint connection, the rehab center. It would be rude to ignore her sister, wouldn’t it? Did he even want Martha to talk about her sister, or about anything?

  Yes, you do. It’s why you’re here. You want her to talk, and you want her to tell you everything about her.

  “Becky’s dead.” This came from Lynne after Martha went silent.

  “Dead?”

  “She didn’t handle rehab well. Erm, it was hard for her,” Martha said.

  “How long has she been dead?” He didn’t take his gaze of Martha.

  “She died two months after getting out of rehab, which would have been a month after you, I think.” She tried her best to smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Dick didn’t like it. Martha should laugh, smile, be happy with life. He wanted to hurt everyone who’d put that pain in her eyes. “I need to go to the bathroom.” Dick hated Becky. The cold heartless bitch had done nothing but cause her sister pain.

  He moved out of the way so she could get past him to use the bathroom. Watching her leave, he took a seat, and returned his gaze to Lynne. “What happened?”

  “You really want to know?”

  “Yes.”

  Lynne let out a sigh. “This is eerie shit for me. She was thinking about you on the way over here, and suddenly you appear. I don’t like it.”

  “I’m not here to cause Martha pain. I don’t give a shit what you think. I like her. I came to see her. She helped me in rehab.”

  “I wish she could have helped Becky as well.” Lynne rubbed at her temple. “She can’t help anyone, and she wanted to.”

  “Tell me what happened.”

  Lynne licked her lips, leaning forward. “Martha took Becky home with her, but you and I both know Becky never got off the hard stuff. If you were inside the rehab center with her, you’d have seen the signs of Becky being high. She was a whore to the core, and could get whatever she wanted so long as she was prepared to suck the right cock, or fuck it.”

  “I know. I got my brothers to get it stopped. The guy who was supplying was dealt with, but if she wanted the hard stuff, Becky would have known the right people to ask.”

  “It didn’t stop. Becky always found a way. The moment she was out of rehab, and in Martha’s home, she went straight back to her pimp, and drug dealing boyfriend.”

  “What did she do?” Dick asked.

  “Becky started working the streets in the city, and in this town. She made Martha’s life a misery with her constantly bailing Becky out. I told her to just leave Becky alone, to kick her out. Martha wouldn’t have any of it. I guess it’s what makes her a better person than most. One night Martha gets a call from Becky. Her sister was scared, and Martha being Martha, went and got her. A word of warning to you, she knows how to handle a gun. Her father made sure both of his daughters could handle themselves.”

  “Then why the fuck was Martha going after her sister rather than the father?” Dick asked.

  “Martha’s parents are both dead. They were at the bank when it was being robbed. Her father tried to stop it and got shot for his trouble. When her mother tried to help her husband, she got shot. They were left to bleed out.”

  “Fucking hell.”

  “Like I said, she’s not had her life easy. In fact I’d go so far as to say she’s had it shit.”

  Dick ran a hand over his face. “Go on, tell me the rest.”

  “Martha got Becky out, but she got hit a few times for her trouble. It was only when she threatened the men with her gun, and fired did they take her seriously. I was on my way as well. She’d called me to help.” Lynne tucked some hair behind her ears. “Becky shot up in the back of the car, trying to deal with her nerves. Bitch was selfish, and she didn’t care for Martha no matter what she did. Martha got distracted, and curved off a ditch, hitting a tree.”

  His heart raced at the thought of Martha struggling for her life with her sister in the back, useless from her high.

  “Becky OD’ed in the back of the car. With the way the car hit the tree, Martha ended up impaled on the chair. A branch through her leg, keeping her in place. She got torn up pretty bad. With her stuck in place, she couldn’t turn her sister or get Becky to listen. Martha had to watch while her sister choked on her own vomit in the back of the car. Screaming, crying, and begging for help.”

  There really were no words. He couldn’t think of a single thing to say.

  “Martha almost died from blood loss. The fire crew had to cut her out of the car. Becky was pronounced dead on the scene. It was a mess.”

  “Hey, I’m back,” Martha said.

  Behind her was the waiter, handing them all their food. Dick had lost his appetite, but he wasn’t going to make Martha paranoid. He started eating his fries, even though he wasn’t hungry. Lynne didn’t say another word, and he knew Martha wouldn’t have wanted him to know everything. How Martha was finding reasons to smile was beyond him. She was a strong woman, the perfect woman who’d been given hard knocks in life.

  “If you two don’t mind. I’m going to head onto the dance floor, and try to find a man to dance with me,” Lynne said. She’d finished her food, and Dick was more than happy to have her gone.

  “I’m sorry about my friend. Lynne can be blunt.”

  “Don’t forget that I can give as good as I get,” he said, giving her a wink. “I’m not a dick for nothing.”

  Martha laughed. “So, you’ve been clean?”

  “Yes. I’ve not shot up. I was tempted to cover my scars, but I wanted to see them, to know what I’ve been through.” He lifted the sleeve of his shirt up, to show her.

  She ran her hands over the marks. “I’m so proud of you, Dick.”

  “I like you, Martha. You can call me Teddy.”

  “Not Teddy Bear?”

  “No, not Teddy Bear. You can call me Teddy, that’s it, or Ted.”

  She chuckled, resting her head on his arm. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

  “I know. It’s nice.”

  “It is nice. I can talk to you about anything.”

  He kissed the back of her head. It was the most natural thing in the world for him. “It has been a long couple of years, for me, and for you.”

  “I take it Lynne brought you up to speed on all the crap that has happened in my life?”

  “I know what you’ve been through.”

  “It’s not that bad, not really,” she said.

  “Watching your sister choking until she died, that is a big deal. Don’t try to pretend it’s not. You’re not fooling me.”

  She tensed up in his arms.

  Dick didn’t like it, and so he stepped out of the booth, offering his hand. “Come on, we need to go on that dance floor, and to dance. This is not a night for us to go over old worries. What is in the past, stays in the past.”

  “You don’t dance.”

  “I’ll dance to make your night.” He led the way, keeping her close. Lynne was wrapped around another man, but Dick wasn’t paying her any attention. He focused on Martha, bringing her in close to his body. Her curves molded against him as if that was where she was always supposed to be. This was what he wanted, and what Lydia couldn’t give him.

  She placed one of her hands on his shoulder while the other took his hand. “I’m surprised you know how to dance?”

  “I know how to dance. I just don’t like doing it.”

  “Why?”

  “Some bit
ches think the wrong thing the moment you’re dancing with them.”

  “You’re not afraid of me thinking the wrong thing?”

  “No. You know the score.”

  “Even assholes deserve to dance every now and again,” Martha said. “Why couldn’t your road name have been asshole?”

  “I’m a dick, baby, not an asshole.” He pulled her in close when the music turned down. It felt so good having her in his arms. He didn’t want to let her go, not ever.

  “Where are you staying?”

  “I don’t know. I needed to get away from the club. A lot of shit has happened since I got out.”

  “You make it sound like jail.”

  “It was in a way. I couldn’t get away. One of the old ladies in the club almost died a few months ago. She had pre-eclampsia. We saved her from a pimp when we first moved to Piston County.”

  “Piston County, that’s right. I completely forgot where you were otherwise I’d have reached out to you. I couldn’t remember. I’m so sorry.”

  He chuckled. “Let’s just say there is a lot going on, and I needed a break. You were the one I thought about. No one else. I didn’t even want to be alone.”

  “I’m glad.”

  “I’m glad that I came here as well. This is nice.”

  “If you need somewhere to stay, you can stay with me.”

  “Are you sure?” he asked. “I don’t want to impose.”

  “You’ve come to stay with me. The least I can do is put you in a room. It will give us a chance to catch up, and you can tell me all about yourself.”

  ****

  Dick stayed in the back of the car while Lynne stared out of the window. It had been a good night. Lynne had danced with pretty much every single guy who looked her way, and Martha had danced with Dick.

  She pulled up outside of her home, and walked in.

  “I’ll take you on a tour tomorrow,” Martha said.

  “It’s okay. I’ll take a seat in the living room.”

  She nodded, giving him a big smile. Lynne had already made her way upstairs, the moment they walked into her home. Martha found Lynne in one of the spare bedrooms. She was already naked and making her way into the bathroom. Following her friend in, she watched as Lynne washed her face.

  “You like him, don’t you?”

  “Yes, I like him.”

  “No, I mean, you like him, like him.”

  “I do. He was always kind to me in the rehab center.” Martha tucked some hair behind her ear. “It’s more than that. He’s hurting inside. I see it in the way he looks at me. I know you don’t like him.”

  “I don’t know him. I don’t know if he’s even got a likeable bone in his body.”

  “It sucks, I know that. I like him, though.”

  “He’s part of a life you wanted Becky to have, Martha. He’s a biker, and he’s used to having a lot of women. Be careful, and don’t put yourself out for this man.” Lynne pulled on a shirt. “Think about it.”

  “I have, and I will. I’m not going to allow myself to get hurt, and regardless of what you think, Dick’s a good guy.”

  “Good. Now, I’m going to go to sleep.” Lynne pulled her in for a hug. “I only talk so much because I get afraid for you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  Martha went to her own room, putting on a pair of pajama bottoms, and a shirt. She made her way downstairs to find Dick, or Teddy, sitting in one of the living room chairs. He was staring down at one of the family pictures of her, Becky, and their parents.

  “Hey,” she said.

  “Lynne’s worried about you,” he said.

  “You’re the first person I’ve gotten close to in the last couple of years.”

  “You cut everyone out?” He placed the picture frame back on the table beside him.

  “It was hard to be friends with people who kept calling your sister a whore. Becky had a lot of problems, but she was still my sister, and I loved her.” Martha had cut off the pain and the fear, dealing with herself, on her own. “I went to the bank once and the guy behind the counter asked me if I was anything like my sister. He offered to give me extra so long as I was willing to give him extra.”

  “What did you do?” he asked.

  “I went to his manager, got him fired. I made everyone who tried to make that mistake regret it. I wasn’t going to be treated like shit just because my sister liked to.” She moved to sit on the sofa opposite him. “Our father told us to stand up for what we wanted, and for what we believed in. I did that every day. Becky, she wanted a life filled with highs, and to make her life easy.”

  Biting her lip, Martha stared down at her crossed legs.

  “You shouldn’t have to fight to be seen as yourself.”

  She rested her hands on her knees smiling at him. “The world tends to paint a picture of you in ways you’re not prepared to deal with.”

  “I get that.”

  “What about you? How are you handling it?”

  He stared down at his arms. For a split second she was sure she saw shame fill his gaze. It must have been in her head because he didn’t say or do anything.

  “In the beginning, I hated it. All I wanted to do was shoot up, get high, and just forget about the fucking world. You know I’m part of a biker club. Before we settled down in Piston County, we did whatever the fuck we wanted. Some of the brothers, they would smoke a bit of weed, shoot up, and it didn’t affect them. Some of us, we got addicted, and it was our life. We still wore the patch, and we did our shit for the club. Life faded away.” Dick ran a hand down his face. “As a club, we made a fucking big enemy. I’m talking the kind of enemy that can make it difficult for you to piss for two seconds in peace because he was always there. He showed us his power, and we were fucking helpless. Our women, the old ladies, they suffered because of it. Another club, The Skulls, they got hurt real bad as well. It was the worst time I can ever recall for us.”

  She listened to him pour out his soul. There was no other way to describe it. He was opening up to her. Martha wondered if he talked this openly with anyone else.

  “Devil, our club president, he didn’t like the balance of power out of our hands. He couldn’t handle any of us being in prison on possession charges. All of the brothers who were addicts were admitted to rehab. He placed us in different rehab centers. Devil figured if we were all in the same center, we’d find a way to get shit there. He was probably right.”

  “You were all split apart.”

  “Yes. It was for the best. We were split apart, and while they were dealing with Gonzalez and all the crap that bastard was putting them through, we were getting clean. Some of us couldn’t handle it though.”

  “Are you pleased you’re clean?”

  “I am. I mean, there are times I wish I wasn’t. When reality gets too much I just want to shoot up, and forget about the shit.”

  “It numbs you?” she asked.

  “Yeah. I don’t have to care about anyone or anything. It makes me sound like a selfish bastard, but it’s the truth. Caring puts everyone in danger, and it causes so much pain.”

  Martha sighed. “I know what you mean. I cared so much about Becky. She didn’t give a shit about me. Dad put me in charge of our trust fund, and so Becky had to always come to me. She hated that.”

  “If she got her hands on money, she’d have put it into her veins.”

  “Yeah, she hated that as well. I always denied her requests for large amounts of money. Our friendship was strained for a long time, even before she went to rehab.”

  Dick moved out of the chair, and took a seat beside her. He tugged her into his arms. “I’m sorry you had to witness her choking like that.”

  Martha took an unsteady breath in. It was too much. She’d promised herself she wouldn’t cry. She shouldn’t cry. “I feel so guilty,” she said.

  “Why?”

  “I hated her. I hated the way she left me. I hated the fact she made me lie like that. I fucking hated what she did to herself. Sh
e didn’t need to do drugs, and yet she did, destroying herself. Why fuck assholes for money or drugs? Why?”

  “Drugs make you do unspeakable things, baby.”

  “She didn’t need to. They’ve all left me, Teddy. Mom, Dad, and Becky. They’ve all left me, and I’m so scared to love anyone or to let anyone in. They’re only going to hurt me. I can’t handle that. I don’t want to handle that.”

  Her tears began to fall, and Teddy held her tightly. She didn’t want to think of him as Dick. He was Teddy.

  “No one is going to hurt you, baby. I won’t let them. I’ll be here. I’ll always be here to keep an eye on you.” He kissed the top of her head, and for some reason this just made her cry even more.

  After several minutes had passed, she wiped at her nose, feeling a little worse for wear.

  “I can’t believe I’m crying at you.”

  “You don’t need to worry about anything, baby. You don’t need to worry about crying.”

  “Wow, I thought you were supposed to be a dick,” she said. “You’re being incredibly sweet, and I can’t get upset with you if you’re being sweet.

  He chuckled.

  “Do you think that’s why she’s gone? Because I got so angry with her for doing what she did?” Martha asked.

  “No. I think she’s gone because she kept testing the limits of her own control. Drugs are not the answer. That was what I realized in rehab. It didn’t matter how much I took, it never helped. I was still clueless at the end of the high, only time had passed.”

  “Is that what your time in rehab taught you?” she asked, glancing up at him.

  “No. It’s what you taught me. Everything else I’ve realized on my own. Rehab was just a building that kept me safe while the drugs were out of my system.”

  “Wow, I sound like an awesome person right now, and rehabs sound awful.”

  “You are awesome, and rehabs only work for people who want to get clean.” He cupped the back of her head, and for a split second she was sure he was going to kiss her. Suddenly he stopped and released her.

  Martha didn’t know what to do, and so she pulled away. “I’m going to go and make up your spare room.”

  Tapping his thigh, she got to her feet, and made her way upstairs. She’d wanted him to kiss her, and yet he’d not. What had she done wrong?